"Nah, I'm gonna beat your shit this time," Ace, my best friend said, the smile on his face befitting that of a madman.

"Well, you're sure welcome to try," I said, a calm smirk on my face. I played with the buttons of my controller as I waited for the loading screen to go away. We were playing Ultimate Ninja Storm 3. As we waited, I drifted into thought.

The loud sound of the in-game Japanese announcer broke me from my thoughts. I let out a noise that sounded like a goat getting fucked before commanding Lee to get away from the Uchiha-clan slayer. Unfortunately for Lee, Itachi had just sent a huge fireball at him.

"Tch. Lucky move," I mumbled.

~v~

"Oh fuck!" I exclaimed, a hand reaching up to scratch my hair, "I don't have enough health to survive that!" Ace had just got Lee, my character of choice, into a tsukuyomi.

"Exactly," Ace said, a smug smirk smothered smoothly over his face. I felt the urge to backhand him.

"Hey why isn't it doing anything?" Ace asked, pointing to the screen. My irritated glare broke and I turned my gaze to the screen. Huh. It really wasn't doing anything. Itachi's mangekyo sharingan was just sort of...sitting there, spinning slowly. Nothing else was happening, though. I got up to check my PS3. It was old hardware -- thing's been soldiering on since 2010 or something. I was sure it just needed to be switched off and on again. I'd have to probably dust out the insides one day, though. With a hum of curiosity, I walked over to my console.

"Yo, you don't mind if I restart it right?" I asked. He shrugged at me and gave a thumbs up, before returning to whatever he was checking on his phone. I moved to press the button, but before I did, I looked up at the screen again.

"...I feel strange."

"Hey, you good?" I heard Ace say, but he sounded far off and distant.

"Hey! Oh shit, oh shit!" I felt dizzy.

"--...llo? We nee...lance…ickly, please..."

It was comforting to know that Ace was calling an ambulance while I got to know my floor a bit more personally.

I tried standing up again but my limbs wouldn't listen. I had to talk to my floor again. But this time, I stayed there.

I let the darkness consume me.

I didn't have the strength to resist it.

~v~

My eyes snapped open.

"Where-" I looked over to my right, which took a lot more effort than it should have. I saw a yellow haired baby, lying on its back, bawling its eyes out.

"Oi. Kid. Stop crying." I tried to speak, but it was as if my mouth didn't know how to work.

"Huh? Why aren't you doing the thing?" I thought, before moving ny head around -- rather slowly -- to look at myself.

"...who's fucking with me." I thought, the murderous intent being released from me rivaling that of the surrounding atmosphere.

"Who the FUCK DECIDED THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT ME IN A FUCKING BABY'S BODY!?"

If I had teeth, I would have been gritting them together. Fucking how. Why was I a baby now!? And whomst the fuck was next to me!?

Soon after my enraged awakening, I fell asleep, this new body being useless and having absolutely no damn energy.

~v~

Two years later, I was in the park, cursing my luck while punching at a tree. As soon as my vocal cords grew to a point where I could use them, I spent a lot of time flaunting my colourful vocabulary. Admittedly, I only did that when I was alone, lest one of the adults hear me and give me a spanking or something.

I kicked the tree with all my might. It did not budge.

"Who's fucking idea was it to put me in this fucking world?" I asked through gritted teeth. Nobody was around to answer, but that was okay. This way nobody would see the tears streaming down my face.

"I'm going to die here," I thought, stifling a sniffle as I moved over to the swings. There were people walking past, and they ignored me.

"Fuck you," I thought, digging my heels into the ground. The swing creaked with the weight of my small body as I rocked back and forth.

"Fuck the asshole that decided to shit on me by bringing me into the fucking Naruto-verse."

~v~

Ten years old. In this body, anyway. I hadn't gotten to the point where I'd be close to death, but I didn't think that day was too far ahead. Time here seemed a bit faster than usual, but that's probably just me.

I sighed as I walked over to the swings in the empty park. Another boy was sitting there, his spiky yellow hair as recognizable as the Coca-Cola logo.

"Yo," I greeted with a raised hand, as I took a seat on the swing next to him.

"Huh? Oh, uh, hi," he replied. He wasn't used to having people talk to him. That was to be expected, if my memory of my previous life is to be trusted. I gave him a warm smile.

"So uh, how are you doing today?" I asked him, pushing myself to swing along with him.

"I'm doing great!" he replied, though the huge grin he flashed at me looked a bit forced.

"Good to hear," I said with a nod. The boy continued.

"Yeah, I painted a nice picture on the Hyuuga compund! They'll never know what hit 'em!" He rubbed his nose and gave a thumbs up with such enthusiasm I thought I saw the wind around his hand move.

"Pranks on the Hyuuga...aren't really a good idea…"

"Why not?"

"Their byakugan lets them see through walls, if I'm not mistaken. They probably know it's you," I said, looking at the boy. An apologetic smile danced across my face as his eyes widened.

"NARUTO!!" A voice shouted from somewhere behind us. Naruto and I exchanged glances.

"Uh-oh."

A/N:

So uh...yeah this is a rewrite of a fanfic I did a while back on an old dead account of mine. I didn't know what I was doing then, nor do I know what I'm doing now. Enjoy?

Edit: No major plot changes, but general polishing.