BLEACH: OF GOATS AND MOUNTAINS
by Vashkoda
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its characters.
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"Hey Kenny, look!"
Kenpachi Zaraki slowed his pace to stare at where Yachiru--as always, perched upon his right shoulder--was pointing. At first, the large warrior couldn't understand what the young girl found so interesting about the man she had singled out. The individual's ragged clothes and unshaven face were a common sight in their neighborhood; the poorest, roughest district of the Rukongai. After a moment, he realized that it wasn't the fellow's appearance that caught his little friend's attention. Rather, it was the fact that unlike any other denizen of their district, this man was not hurriedly getting out of Kenpachi's way as he strode down the street.
"Do you know that guy?"
"Hmmmm," Kenpachi rumbled, his interest only barely piqued. The "interactions" he had with people usually involved ramming his sword into their guts, rather than engaging in polite conversation. Few could claim to really know Kenpachi, though the rumors about him were enough that people left him comfortably alone. Likewise, Kenpachi cared very little about others--Yachiru being the exception--except as prospective opponents. His only goal in life was to become the greatest warrior of his generation, and to earn the right to use the name 'Kenpachi'. It was for that reason that he sought to test his skills against anyone who seemed a worthy challenge.
Considering the benign appearance and unimpressive reiatsu of this stranger, Kenpachi was certain he had never fought him before. By extension, that meant they had never met. Despite this, Kenpachi was surprised--and slightly irritated--to see the fellow actually approaching him.
"Good afternoon!" the man greeted cheerfully with a wave of his hand. Although Kenpachi had never been a fan of bowing, he was slightly put off that the stranger hadn't even made an effort. He decided that the best course was to ignore him completely, and he continued walking as if he had never noticed him.
To his further Kenpachi's irritation, the man matched his brisk pace and came up alongside him.
"You must be the one I've heard so much about: Kenpachi Zaraki. I must say, you're much more impressive in person than the rumors say you are!" he exclaimed admiringly, craning his neck as if he were looking up at a tall mountain. "My name is Isshin Shiba. I was wondering if you would join me in a cup of sake? My treat, of course."
Kenpachi made a noise in his throat that was usually enough to send people running for their lives.
"My, that sounds terrible!" remarked Isshin, sounding concerned. "I'll bet the sake will clear that right up. I should know, I'm a healer!"
"Ooo, Kenny, can I have some too?" Yachiru asked sweetly.
Isshin seemed taken aback at the sight of the little girl, who he apparently hadn't taken notice of before. He recovered quickly, however, and cheerily offered her an alternative.
"How about some hot chocolate instead? We could put loads of marshmallows in it!"
"Yay! Goat-face is getting me marshmallows, Kenny!" she cried excitedly, bouncing on his shoulder.
Kenpachi sighed. Now he was stuck going with the man until Yachiru had had her drink. Of course, Kenpachi could always run away from him and just buy Yachiru a hot chocolate later to make it up to her. Unfortunately, he knew that that still wouldn't be enough for the little girl. She had already given the man a nickname. That meant he was now one of her "special friends", and she would be very upset if Kenpachi tried to keep him away from her.
They had been forced to travel through multiple districts to find a place that actually sold hot chocolate. Kenpachi was not pleased to be this far inside the Rukongia. The lower number districts tended to be more law-abiding, and actually frowned upon the random acts of violence the warrior liked to indulge in.
It was not that he feared the special forces or the Shinigami who occasionally patrolled the streets, but he had learned that it was best to avoid their attention. On several occasions, they had pestered him about joining their ridiculous academy, and since he hadn't learned to speed-step like they did, he had been forced to loose his reiatsu on them in order to knock them unconscious and get away. Though he itched to actually draw his sword on one of them, he knew that assaulting a member of the Seireitei would only earn him more unwanted attention.
He was a warrior, not a lawless thug, no matter what the rumors said.
"Hey Zaraki-san, you're still only on your first sake," observed Isshin in surprise. "Your friend is already two cups of chocolate up on you!"
"Kenny's a slow poke," giggled Yachiru, as she licked a glob of marshmallow off the end of her nose. She then turned to her new friend and handed him the empty mug. "More please!"
"Okay sweetheart, but Papa Goat-face would like to have a private talk with mister Zaraki, if that's okay. Do you think you could have your drink over in the corner over there?"
The pink-haired girl beamed up at him. "Sure thing!" She then grabbed the coin he handed her--Zaraki had been surprised that a man who looked so poor could afford to pay for their drinks--and dashed to the counter to order her fourth hot chocolate.
The warrior tensed when he heard the stranger telling Yachiru to leave them alone. Zaraki wasn't the least bit worried about the little girl; she could handle any threat the Rukongai had to offer--he had trained her to make sure of that. Plenty of people held grudges against him, and wouldn't hesitate to capture the child as a way to get to him. A few had tried once, and well... Yachiru hadn't exactly been merciful. Mercy was one of those concepts he knew he would eventually have to teach her, but decided it could wait until she was older.
The offer of sake was another trap Zaraki had to be wary of. Enemies might try to get him drunk, hoping he would be less capable of defending himself. It wasn't true of course; Zaraki's excellent physique had the unfortunate consequence of detoxifying any alcohol he drank almost instantly, so that he could never enjoy the buzz.
If he wanted to be devious, he supposed he could have played along and pretended to be drunk, waiting for the enemy to reveal themselves. Zaraki Kenpachi, however, had no patience for such things.
If Isshin Shiba intended for him to get drunk, hopefully he would soon realize that his plan wasn't going to work and just come right out and speak his mind.
"You're lucky, having a girl like Yachiru around. I've always wanted kids of my own."
Zaraki grunted in surprise at such a random comment. "Plenty of gutter brats running around. I'm sure you could have your pick."
Isshin shook his head emphatically. "No-no, I mean my kids. You know, through-" he made odd interlocking gestures with his fingers. Zaraki loosed a loud snort of amusement at his antics and their meaning.
"It doesn't work that way," he said, surprised the man was unaware of such a commonly lamented aspect of the afterlife. "Babies don't get born in Soul Society."
"Well, no, of course not," replied Isshin, making it sound like Zaraki was the dense one. "I mean in the other world."
Zaraki felt his eyes blink a few times as his mind slowly tried to process what the man was saying.
"I'm not sure how I can help you with that. Unless maybe... you actually wanted to meet me... to ask if I could kill you... and send your soul back to land of the living?" The idea sounded crazy even to him, and he assumed he must have completely misunderstood.
"Exactly! Only, I'm not the one who wants to get reincarnated. At least not right now--like I said, I want kids and all, but I know someone who might be able to make me a body without having to go through the messiness of growing up in it. Anyway, this isn't for me, it's for a friend."
"And you want this friend killed?"
"Exactly," smiled Isshin.
Zaraki grumbled. "I fight people, sure, and sometimes they die if they can't take their whoopin'. But I'm no assassin-for-hire." He began rising from his seat.
"Hear me out a second, please," implored the stranger. "I promise this will be completely legal, and the reward won't be money, but honor!"
Zaraki's eyes narrowed at him. He had studied the man long enough to know that he wasn't what he seemed.
"No more games," he growled, dropping a hand to the hilt of his zanpakuto. "Show me who you really are."
Rather than look afraid at such a direct confrontation, Isshin actually seemed relieved. He nodded, then spoke an incantation, and suddenly his body was bathed in light. When the glow faded, Isshin once again sat before him, now dressed in Shinigami robes with the white haori that marked him as a captain of the Gotei 13.
"Can't say I'm surprised," muttered Zaraki darkly.
"If I had revealed myself right away, you would have knocked me out and I never would've gotten the chance to speak with you," smiled Isshin.
"I'm not sure that trick would have worked on you anyway," admitted Zaraki with a shake of his head. "Your spiritual pressure is impressive. I would love to cross blades with you."
Little Yachiru suddenly appeared at his side, all childishness gone from her face. She looked up at Zaraki for confirmation. "Are you going to fight?"
The fierce warrior felt his face split into a shark-like grin. "I sure hope so."
Isshin shrugged his shoulders. "Well, we could fight. But if you happen to kill me, you'll never hear about my great offer. And that would be very unfortunate, since it involves fighting someone who might be even stronger than me." He then turned to Yachiru and off-handedly added, "Oh, and there's a pretty cool story about the whole thing, too."
Yachiru frowned, obviously torn between the choice of hearing his story and getting to watch her friend battle.
"Kennnyyyy, Goat-face isn't playing fair!" she whined.
"So let's start from the beginning, shall we?" said the captain, as if Zaraki had already agreed to his deal. Not giving him time to object, Isshin continued, "The Quincy are a clan of humans you may or may not have heard of before, who have the ability to see hollows and attack them by drawing spiritual energy from their surroundings. Rather than purify souls to send them here, their technique involves shaping weapons from concentrated reiatsu, which will totally annihilate a hollow's body."
"Hmmm," rumbled Zaraki thoughtfully, settling back down into his chair. Indeed, he had never heard of such a thing, but it sounded interesting. While he had gotten somewhat attached to his worn-down blade, it might be fun to have a sword that could utterly destroy spirit particles on contact.
Better yet would be to fight someone who had such a weapon, using just his regular sword. What an exciting challenge that would be!
"The Quincy, sadly, are all but extinct in the living world," announced Isshin, which precipitated a growl from Zaraki.
"I don't get it!" the warrior cried, voicing his confusion. "If those guys are so strong, how could so many of them die?"
"Ah, well that's the thing, you see. Our government thought they were growing too powerful. There was talk about the balance of souls between here and the living world being upset by the Quincy's technique of destroying hollows. So they sent Shinigami to hunt the Quincy down."
That bit of news upset Zaraki greatly. Those blasted Shinigami killed all his opponents before he had a chance to fight them!
"Of course, after they die, those Quincy get reborn into the Soul Society. Few remember their past well enough to develop the powers they once had in life. But I know one who has."
"Where is he?!" demanded the warrior eagerly, pounding the table with his fist.
"Are you sure you want to fight him?" asked Isshin slyly. "He might be too much for you."
Before the man could make a move, Zaraki had lifted him up by the collar of his robe. The captain did not seem at all perturbed to find himself dangling several feet off the ground, and continued his annoying smile.
"I'm delighted by your enthusiasm. It so happens that he is just the man I want you to defeat. And as an added incentive--not that you seem to need one--if you happen to kill him, you get to take over his job."
Zaraki snorted. "I don't need a job."
"Oh? Even if it meant you had authorization to battle whoever and whenever you wanted, in the living world or the Seireitei itself?"
"You're talking about making me into a Shinigami. Well forget it. I'm not wasting my time in your stupid academy. I've already learned how to fight, the hard way. I won't take lessons from some brat who's probably never even held a sword."
"Well then, you'll be happy to learn that defeating a captain of the Gotei 13 also makes you an honorary Shinigami, whether or not you've been through the academy. Honestly, this is a real win-win situation for you. I don't see how you can turn it down."
It was too good an offer, thought Zaraki warily. He needed to find the catch.
"If this fellow wants to die so bad, why doesn't he just kill himself? Or why don't you do it, if you're his so-called friend?"
Ishhin nodded. "Well, I admit that being a captain isn't all fun and games. There's responsibility too, and it would be poor manners to just go up to your squad one day and say, 'hey, I'm tired of this life. I'm going to kill myself now and leave you suckers behind.' Besides which, if it looked like we died on purpose, they might feel justified in dragging us back here, and possibly put us on trial for treason."
"So that's the reason for all this? You and this guy got bored with being Shinigami?"
"No, no. Like I said, I want to have kids of my own, and a real, living woman. The dead girls around here are all too-" he waved his hands in the air as he searched for the right word, "stiff... if you'll forgive the pun. And my friend Ryuken has an entirely different and less self-serving reason. There's only one family of Quincy left in the world, and they're about to give birth to a child. He wants to become that child, to ensure that the last of the Quincy is powerful warrior who will bring honor to the legacy of his clan."
Zaraki grunted in approval. "And that's why he's got to die now. I get it." He looked down at Yachiru, who seemed captivated by the man's tale. Honor was a concept he had not hesitated to teach her, and she no doubt found the idea of self-sacrifice as enticing as he did.
"What about Yachiru?" Zaraki asked, remembering that he was also honor-bound to care for the little girl. He couldn't take up this new job if it meant leaving her behind.
"Well, maybe she wouldn't object as strongly as you did to spending a few years at the academy. And when she finishes, you'll have the right to choose her as part of your squad."
"Would you like that, squirt? I'll even make you my lieutenant."
Yachiru looked thoughtful. "Well, I'm not sure I'm gonna like school all that much. But that fight Goat-face is talking about sure sounds like fun." She gazed up at him and grinned. "I say you should go for it, Kenny!"
"Well... all right," he said, and at last released his grip on Isshin. The man quickly recovered from the sudden drop and climbed back to his feet with that stupid smile still plastered on his face.
"You won't regret this!" he promised them.
Isshin Shiba led the pair even deeper into the Rukongai, until they came face to face with the 30-foot-tall gatekeeper, Danzomaru. With a nod from the Shinigami captain, the giant dug his hands under the heavy metal door and lifted it open, giving them passage into the Seireitei.
As per the plan they had discussed on the walk over, Isshin took them straight to the Shinigami academy. Isshin proclaimed loudly to any in earshot that he had found two excellent candidates for enrollment. Zaraki quickly finished the paperwork for Yachiru, and the little girl tearfully hugged him and wiped her wet nose on his shoulder. "I wish I could be there to cheer for you," she whispered, careful not to let anyone else overhear. An assistant then came to escort her to the female dormitories. The gruff warrior felt his heart break as he waved goodbye to her, though of course he showed no outward signs of this weakness. He planned to come by and visit his friend every day.
"Sir, are you ready to hand in your own registration papers?" another assistant asked him. Zaraki hesitated, since he had no real intention of enrolling.
"Just a moment!" interrupted Isshin. "I wanted to give this man a tour of the campus first, just in case he needs more convincing." He winked at the clerk, who smiled back at him confidentially. Apparently, they had no doubts that their institution would impress him.
The captain played the part of giving him a tour, in case anyone was watching. Zaraki followed as they took a seemingly random course around the facilities, until they had gone up a long set of stairs to a secluded hall of the academy. There, carved upon the marble walls, were the laws of the Seireitei, written in large bold letters. Isshin made them stand before one law in particular.
"So this is it?" Zaraki asked him, glancing over the words. "They're supposed to think that when I read this, I suddenly decide to attack you and take the easy way of becoming a captain?"
"Well, I'd hardly call defeating me 'the easy way', but you're not supposed to be smart enough to realize that."
Zaraki grinned. "Well, since there are supposed to be a hundred witnesses, I guess it makes sense that instead of killing you here, I escape back into the city and look for another captain to fight."
"Right. I don't think you'd be too happy leading my division anyway. You don't seem cut out for our line of work."
"And you're sure this other guy wants to get slaughtered?"
Isshin laughed lightly. "Well, I don't think slaughtered is the right word. In this life, as in the next, he doesn't intend to go down easily. And I suspect he's looking forward to being reborn as a great Quincy hero. His father-to-be is a man much like Ryuken himself: a fan of battle and skill and all about being the best warrior you can be." Isshin paused, looking uncomfortable. "That's what Ryuken wants, but it's also a surefire way to draw the Shinigami to him and end the last of his bloodline. I plan on visiting him as he grows up and guiding him away from that path if I can. Maybe I can make a healer out of him." Isshin grinned, apparently finding the prospect amusing.
"Bah," grumbled Zaraki disapprovingly. "Power like yours is wasted in a healer."
Isshin shook his head. "Life and death battles aren't always fought at the end of a sword. I'd say I've faced death more times than any other captain of the Shinigami, including our old commander."
Zaraki didn't say anything, still unconvinced. Instead, he drew his zanpakuto.
"You sure you don't want me to just kill you now? Since you're planning on having your family back in the living world anyway."
Isshin smiled, drawing his own blade. "Well, like you, I'm also hoping to take a short cut to get what I want. Besides, being in the medical profession, I'm sure I'll find a convincing way to fake my death when the time comes."
"As you wish," said the warrior. Then he pounced.
Zaraki was annoyed that he had been forced to cut his fight with Isshin short in order to get away before someone came to investigate the disturbance. He had left the captain in a dazed heap, and suspected the man had left himself open to his attacks on purpose. Their pitiful excuse of a fight grated on Zaraki's sense of honor, but there was really no other option.
He just hoped the next fight would give him the exercise he needed to blow off his irritation.
He arrived at the arch marked with the eleventh division's insignia, surprised that for once, his horrible sense of direction hadn't failed him.
There, in the courtyard beyond the arched gateway, stood a man with short silver hair and white captain's haori. Around him were gathered the rest of his division, a good hundred at least.
The man did not appear at all surprised to see him. Zaraki knew that Isshin had somehow gotten word to him that he was coming.
"Well?" the captain drawled, gazing at him expectantly.
"My name is Zaraki Kenpachi," the warrior introduced himself. "And I've come for your pretty white cloak."
Ryuken grinned back at him and drew his zanpakuto. The blade--Zaraki noticed in excitement--consisted entirely of shining blue spirit particles.
"Then come and take it... if you can."
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THE END
A.N. - I don't really feel a need to describe their battle. I'm sure you can imagine a much cooler scene than anything I could write. I thought I should mention that the idea of Isshin being a Shiba was something I came across in fan forums. It's never been confirmed, of course, but I think it's pretty interesting all the same, especially for the implications about Ichigo being related to Kaien and Ganju, and that Isshin's disappearance could be the disgrace that caused the Shiba family to lose their place among the five noble houses.
Anyway, sorry for making this so short, but I really only wrote it to play wth a few ideas running in my head. Hope you enjoyed it.