Well here we are, the sequel...Wow, a sequel ubelievable ain't it? To think I started this all from a bag of cornnuts and tons of horse tranquilizers as I danced around in a party dress, cursing at my dog for being slovenly.....BUT NOW YOU KNOW TOO MUCH! So anyway, here we go. P.S. did anyone get to see the picture of Vampire Boy from Squee in the background of the Zim episode "Plague of Babies." CAUSE I DID!
So here we are with the intro, boy we sure are gonna have fun with this bucket full of donkeys! Who wants to be the first to lick the....
Jhonen: WAIT JUST ONE SECOND!
OH NO! VASQUEZ!
Jhonen: That's right. After our many battles, I have finally gotten the necessary arrangements made to take you down.
Really? And what would those be?
Jhonen: THE MULTITUDE OF MY CHARACTERS WHO WANT TO SUE YOU! *begins to laugh as almost every character Vasquez created shambles into the room*
Oh......crap nuggets.
Tallest: We're going to sue your ass for making us seem so gay in your damn story.
Oh really?
Purple: That's right, red and I are all about the ladies.
Red: Tell him Purple Dave.
Purple:.........
I reiterate..."Oh Really"? Then perhaps you would like to explain to the audience these photos of you skinny dipping with Sigfried and Roy sans the white tiger.
Red: HOW DID YOU?.....We take back our claim.
Good. Next?
Nny: *walks up* The story you wrote about me, Desires or whatever, was so gay. Like I would ever jump off a cliff, I mean come on.
Oh yeah? YOUR MOM'S GAY!
Nny:....... *runs off sobbing*
Next?
Squee: *takes a big puff of a cigar* WHY THE HELL HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN A STORY ABOUT ME? YOU THINKSH IS NOTSH GOOSH ENOUST FO YAS? *obviously drunk*
...... If you go away now, I'll give you three dollars for beer money.
Squee: *wobbles drunkingly considering the options.* Osskk *takes money.*
Next?
Zim:.....
Zim? What do you want?
Zim:.....Could I get some hash?
NO! DAMMIT NO! GET OUT OF HERE!
Zim: *walks away*
NEXT!
Gaz: I've got a complaint.
Oh God no.
Gaz: Look at how you portrayed me. I'm not some cold unfeeling girl who cares about nothing but her own needs. I have feelings! I'm a fragile flower in a stormy field who needs enough water to grow into a pretty..AAK!
*hits Gaz with a ballpoint pen*
Gaz: *falls to the ground unconcious*
NEXT!
Jhonen: DAMN YOU E! THERE'S NO ONE LEFT! I SHALL HAVE REVENGE ON YOU THIS DAY! KNOW THAT MY TERROR WILL SPREAD TO YOUR....Hey is that a bucket of donkeys?
Yes it is....Go nuts.
Jhonen: *goes nuts*
*sigh* On with the story.
INVADER DIB 2: WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
CHAPTER 1: EARTH + IRK EQUALS OBSCENITY
"IF IRK IS RIGHT THERE, HOW CAN EARTH BE RIGHT OVER HERE?" Dib asked, getting more and more frantic.
"Stop shouting and I'll try to tell you, filthy filth boy of....Alcatraz." Zim replied, in search of a better word. "Just let me make a few alterations to my computer first."
Dib waited as Zim began to tinker away and looked upon the misshaped globe which now contained both the planet Earth and the planet Irk. Citizens of earth slowly began to leech their way out of their houses, looking at the part of the globe which was now Irk. The Invaders did the same thing and the two types of species came upon one another. As the number of humans and Irkens began to study one another, the Invader known as E came onto the scene. With clown bites covering his body, limbs missing and various other severe injuries on his person, E crawled up to the first human he could find.
"Hmmmm, it seems that something has happened that caused our two worlds to merge. This situation could get worse than Rosie O'Donnel wearing a speedo on a hot summer's day. No matter, I'm sure we can coexist with one another as we try and fix the problem. After all we come in peace." E outstretched his hand to the earthman in front of him.
Before E could get a reply from the man, a shotgun blast blew off the hand that was outstretched and another blast did the same to the Irken's head, ending E's short lived yet hillarious life.
"THEY COME WITH PEAS! GET EM!" A drunken hillbilly cried as he raised his large elephant gun into the air, blasting every alien thing he could see. In retaliation, the Irkens began to fire back with their advanced laser weapons, devastating many of the Earth houses and buildings.
"DAMMIT!" Dib cried ducking for cover, Zim right behind him. "I knew we'd be done in by the hillbillys one day but would anyone listen? NOOooOOo! I mean, how could you not see it coming from a type of people who make alcohol themselves in a big jug labeled 'XXX', WHY COULDN'T.."
"Shhhh, I'm almost done, stinkboy." Zim said, finishing his tinkering.
"AH TO HELL WITH IT! If I'm gonna die, I'm going out happy." Dib takes out a magazine titled 'large black BOOTAE!' "Which ways the bathroom?"
Zim looked up sickly and pressed a button on his computer screen, causing it to spring into action.
"All right, no need for any death..... activities at the moment. I have come up with the answer as to why Earth and Irk have merged with one another."
"Which is?"
"Well, remember that tiny little device that I used to teleport us to Blortch which we left back on Irk?"
"Yes??"
"Well, it turns out that I.....forgot to turn it off."
Dib's jaw fell straight to the ground. He clenched his fists, opened his mouth as loud as he could and screamed.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"K!" Invader Devi said in the middle of a park, somewhere on Earth. "The last thing I remember was walking away from Ima and going back to my house. So why is it I'm on some alien planet now?"
The young Invader girl, confused out of her mind, sat down on a nearby bench, pondering her dilemma. As she pondered on, a young woman sat next to her.
"AAAAAAAA! WHAT THE IRK ARE YOU?" Invader Devi screamed jumping off the bench.
"That's my line." The young woman said, sipping on a cafe latte.
"....Your words confuse me, state your business or prepare to be vaporized." Invader Devi cried, reaching for her laser in her backpack.
"Well I'm just sitting here after another one of my many horrible dates." The young girl replied.
"What are these dates?"
"Don't worry about it. Look I don't think I've ever seen an alien before so I'll tell you my name. I'm Devi." The young woman said, finishing her latte.
"I'm Invader Devi."
"........"
"........"
"It's a small universe after all."
Meanwhile, in the spot where Irk used to be.
"WHERE THE HELL?" A booming voice erupted from inside the large spaceship that was circling the empty space. "WHAT IS THIS CRAP?"
"I do believe that Irk is gone dear brother." Another voice said from behind the larger voice.
"Great. Just great. I mean jeez. We're gone for three decades searching for what's his name in Food Courtia and when we come back, our home world is gone. I mean jeez."
"Quit saying jeez! And why are we standing in the shadows? This seems a little queer if you ask me."
"Oh shut up! You think everything's queer. And we're standing here to set the mood, dummy. To give the audience a little foreshadowing of things to come from us."
".....Did you just grab my ass?"
Meanwhile on Earth, in the house labeled #777
"Look, I told myself I wasn't going to do this anymore." The figure in the darkness said to a man, strapped to a chair, electrodes shooting through his body. "But then I carefully weighed my options, calculating whether or not I would be suited as a roach or something. However, that simply wouldn't have worked out for me, after all, then there would be no one to flush garbage like you down the drain and SOMEONE HAS TO KILL P DIDDY BEFORE HE SPREADS HIS EVIL GRIP OVER THE WORLD!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"You concur. How generous of you. Now let me get the three poodles with aids down here and we can...."
Just as the figure was preparing the get the AIDS ridden poodles, a large spacecraft burst through the side of the wall. The ship crushed the man in the chair against the nearby wall, with the other figure lunging out of the way.
"Visitors?" The figure asked, dusting himself off. "Were you expecting visitors at this hour, Nail Bunny?"
"No I wasn't Johnny." The picture of Nail Bunny said as Johnny held it up to his ear.
"Hmmmmm, this has possibilities."
End Chapter 1
OOOOOOO *has a heart attack* OOOOOOO! What will happen next? Will Dib finish his long curse word? Will Zim un f*** up that which has been F***ed up? Will other characters be introduced? You bet your sweet fanny.
Join us next time for...
Chapter 2: Irk invades the white house....poo!
So here we are with the intro, boy we sure are gonna have fun with this bucket full of donkeys! Who wants to be the first to lick the....
Jhonen: WAIT JUST ONE SECOND!
OH NO! VASQUEZ!
Jhonen: That's right. After our many battles, I have finally gotten the necessary arrangements made to take you down.
Really? And what would those be?
Jhonen: THE MULTITUDE OF MY CHARACTERS WHO WANT TO SUE YOU! *begins to laugh as almost every character Vasquez created shambles into the room*
Oh......crap nuggets.
Tallest: We're going to sue your ass for making us seem so gay in your damn story.
Oh really?
Purple: That's right, red and I are all about the ladies.
Red: Tell him Purple Dave.
Purple:.........
I reiterate..."Oh Really"? Then perhaps you would like to explain to the audience these photos of you skinny dipping with Sigfried and Roy sans the white tiger.
Red: HOW DID YOU?.....We take back our claim.
Good. Next?
Nny: *walks up* The story you wrote about me, Desires or whatever, was so gay. Like I would ever jump off a cliff, I mean come on.
Oh yeah? YOUR MOM'S GAY!
Nny:....... *runs off sobbing*
Next?
Squee: *takes a big puff of a cigar* WHY THE HELL HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN A STORY ABOUT ME? YOU THINKSH IS NOTSH GOOSH ENOUST FO YAS? *obviously drunk*
...... If you go away now, I'll give you three dollars for beer money.
Squee: *wobbles drunkingly considering the options.* Osskk *takes money.*
Next?
Zim:.....
Zim? What do you want?
Zim:.....Could I get some hash?
NO! DAMMIT NO! GET OUT OF HERE!
Zim: *walks away*
NEXT!
Gaz: I've got a complaint.
Oh God no.
Gaz: Look at how you portrayed me. I'm not some cold unfeeling girl who cares about nothing but her own needs. I have feelings! I'm a fragile flower in a stormy field who needs enough water to grow into a pretty..AAK!
*hits Gaz with a ballpoint pen*
Gaz: *falls to the ground unconcious*
NEXT!
Jhonen: DAMN YOU E! THERE'S NO ONE LEFT! I SHALL HAVE REVENGE ON YOU THIS DAY! KNOW THAT MY TERROR WILL SPREAD TO YOUR....Hey is that a bucket of donkeys?
Yes it is....Go nuts.
Jhonen: *goes nuts*
*sigh* On with the story.
INVADER DIB 2: WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
CHAPTER 1: EARTH + IRK EQUALS OBSCENITY
"IF IRK IS RIGHT THERE, HOW CAN EARTH BE RIGHT OVER HERE?" Dib asked, getting more and more frantic.
"Stop shouting and I'll try to tell you, filthy filth boy of....Alcatraz." Zim replied, in search of a better word. "Just let me make a few alterations to my computer first."
Dib waited as Zim began to tinker away and looked upon the misshaped globe which now contained both the planet Earth and the planet Irk. Citizens of earth slowly began to leech their way out of their houses, looking at the part of the globe which was now Irk. The Invaders did the same thing and the two types of species came upon one another. As the number of humans and Irkens began to study one another, the Invader known as E came onto the scene. With clown bites covering his body, limbs missing and various other severe injuries on his person, E crawled up to the first human he could find.
"Hmmmm, it seems that something has happened that caused our two worlds to merge. This situation could get worse than Rosie O'Donnel wearing a speedo on a hot summer's day. No matter, I'm sure we can coexist with one another as we try and fix the problem. After all we come in peace." E outstretched his hand to the earthman in front of him.
Before E could get a reply from the man, a shotgun blast blew off the hand that was outstretched and another blast did the same to the Irken's head, ending E's short lived yet hillarious life.
"THEY COME WITH PEAS! GET EM!" A drunken hillbilly cried as he raised his large elephant gun into the air, blasting every alien thing he could see. In retaliation, the Irkens began to fire back with their advanced laser weapons, devastating many of the Earth houses and buildings.
"DAMMIT!" Dib cried ducking for cover, Zim right behind him. "I knew we'd be done in by the hillbillys one day but would anyone listen? NOOooOOo! I mean, how could you not see it coming from a type of people who make alcohol themselves in a big jug labeled 'XXX', WHY COULDN'T.."
"Shhhh, I'm almost done, stinkboy." Zim said, finishing his tinkering.
"AH TO HELL WITH IT! If I'm gonna die, I'm going out happy." Dib takes out a magazine titled 'large black BOOTAE!' "Which ways the bathroom?"
Zim looked up sickly and pressed a button on his computer screen, causing it to spring into action.
"All right, no need for any death..... activities at the moment. I have come up with the answer as to why Earth and Irk have merged with one another."
"Which is?"
"Well, remember that tiny little device that I used to teleport us to Blortch which we left back on Irk?"
"Yes??"
"Well, it turns out that I.....forgot to turn it off."
Dib's jaw fell straight to the ground. He clenched his fists, opened his mouth as loud as he could and screamed.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
"K!" Invader Devi said in the middle of a park, somewhere on Earth. "The last thing I remember was walking away from Ima and going back to my house. So why is it I'm on some alien planet now?"
The young Invader girl, confused out of her mind, sat down on a nearby bench, pondering her dilemma. As she pondered on, a young woman sat next to her.
"AAAAAAAA! WHAT THE IRK ARE YOU?" Invader Devi screamed jumping off the bench.
"That's my line." The young woman said, sipping on a cafe latte.
"....Your words confuse me, state your business or prepare to be vaporized." Invader Devi cried, reaching for her laser in her backpack.
"Well I'm just sitting here after another one of my many horrible dates." The young girl replied.
"What are these dates?"
"Don't worry about it. Look I don't think I've ever seen an alien before so I'll tell you my name. I'm Devi." The young woman said, finishing her latte.
"I'm Invader Devi."
"........"
"........"
"It's a small universe after all."
Meanwhile, in the spot where Irk used to be.
"WHERE THE HELL?" A booming voice erupted from inside the large spaceship that was circling the empty space. "WHAT IS THIS CRAP?"
"I do believe that Irk is gone dear brother." Another voice said from behind the larger voice.
"Great. Just great. I mean jeez. We're gone for three decades searching for what's his name in Food Courtia and when we come back, our home world is gone. I mean jeez."
"Quit saying jeez! And why are we standing in the shadows? This seems a little queer if you ask me."
"Oh shut up! You think everything's queer. And we're standing here to set the mood, dummy. To give the audience a little foreshadowing of things to come from us."
".....Did you just grab my ass?"
Meanwhile on Earth, in the house labeled #777
"Look, I told myself I wasn't going to do this anymore." The figure in the darkness said to a man, strapped to a chair, electrodes shooting through his body. "But then I carefully weighed my options, calculating whether or not I would be suited as a roach or something. However, that simply wouldn't have worked out for me, after all, then there would be no one to flush garbage like you down the drain and SOMEONE HAS TO KILL P DIDDY BEFORE HE SPREADS HIS EVIL GRIP OVER THE WORLD!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"You concur. How generous of you. Now let me get the three poodles with aids down here and we can...."
Just as the figure was preparing the get the AIDS ridden poodles, a large spacecraft burst through the side of the wall. The ship crushed the man in the chair against the nearby wall, with the other figure lunging out of the way.
"Visitors?" The figure asked, dusting himself off. "Were you expecting visitors at this hour, Nail Bunny?"
"No I wasn't Johnny." The picture of Nail Bunny said as Johnny held it up to his ear.
"Hmmmmm, this has possibilities."
End Chapter 1
OOOOOOO *has a heart attack* OOOOOOO! What will happen next? Will Dib finish his long curse word? Will Zim un f*** up that which has been F***ed up? Will other characters be introduced? You bet your sweet fanny.
Join us next time for...
Chapter 2: Irk invades the white house....poo!