"Dean," Cas said nonchalantly as he appeared suddenly at Deans side, almost making him spill the half empty can of beer he was nursing on the bed. Cas glanced once around the motel room before his full attention turned to Dean, checking that the younger Winchester was not currently in the vicinity. "Sam is not here." He observed, before flipping his trench coat behind him and straddling Deans lap.

"DEAN I WANT TO SEX YOU" Cas said, looking down into ocean blue eyes that made his also blue suit pants a little tighter.

"I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THE SEX WITH YOU." replied dean in a sensual fashion.

Cas bent down to kiss Dean, but just before their lips collided, he threw himself off Dean's body, landing rather ungracefully on the side of the bed. "I can't do this," he moaned in his gravelly voice, which even obviously distressed, was still rather sexy. "I have been having these urges more often recently, and I think I know why." Dean glanced over at Cas' arse as he flipped, lowering his lids in a way he hoped was sultry, but just made him look slightly blind. "Cas," Dean said rather seriously, "have you been watching weird porn again? I'm only letting you have good taste in porn." Dean wiggled his toes playfully, and one of his toes popped through a hole in his sock.

Cas stood up in a blustery way and turned to face Dean, face flushing red in a way that Dean had not thought was possible for an angel until he'd had Cas beneath him, panting... "NO DEAN WINCHESTER THIS IS NOT ABOUT PORN. Believe me I learnt my lesson when you FORCED me to watch those grotesque videos on your brother's computer and expected me to let you put THINGS in THOSE places." He paused only to knock Dean's beer out of his hand. "This is a serious matter, and you would heed well to appreciate that, before I smite your finely rounded ass."

Dean tilts his head in such a way that his neck actually cracks. He turns to face Cas properly, crossing his legs and folding his arms. "Righto, angelo. What's troubling you then, my little cheesecake?" Dean had started speaking to his half finished dessert-a cheesecake. He shook his head and blinked to get back to the problem at hand. "Give it to me, Cas. Before I have to start singing to you because I'm not musical material."

Cas glared, and contemplated throwing the abandoned cheesecake at Dean's face. However, recognising that this thought was probably his overflowing emotions talking, Cas resisted. He was nothing if not a well balanced angel, who would never do anything to hurt the people he cared about. Apart from trying to become god that one time, and that time he threw Dean against a wall. He didn't really thing the throwing against the wall thing counted anyway - they'd both enjoyed that. "Dean," he said, taking a deep breath, "we are having a baby. And before you ask, no I am not shitting you, no I have not bought cocaine thinking it was of the cola variety again, and yes I am deadly serious." As if to solidify this point, Cas put on his best 'brooding and serious' face, that Gaberiel had taught him when he was just a fledgling.

Dean stared. Dean stared for a very long time. Then he smacked his head against the wall to see if he was dreaming. Dean was not dreaming. In fact, he had mild concussion. "That's not possible for human males. Or even angels in human male bodies. Anyway, how would you know if I'd gone and knocked you up?" This was ridiculous. The only pussy Dean was aware of nowadays was Sam, and he didn't count. Hooking up with his brother would just be fucked up. This did not make logical sense. Dean did briefly contemplate jumping out of the window but they were on the ground floor, so nothing would have come of it.

"How can you ask me that Dean!?" Cas almost shouted, stepping further away from the bed, and Dean, who he was beginning to think would be a very, very bad father and would probably name their child after a gun. Heaven would not be very happy if Castiel presented his child as 'Revolver.' "Are you accusing me of lying to you? I can feel the baby. He should be here in a little under two months... and BELIEVE me," he added, "if I thought banging your head against the wall would in any way improve this situation I would see to it myself."

Dean looked highly affronted and camp and a little tiny bit like John Barrowman. He had also had sex HANGING from a tree, incidentally. Sam had found them that time, and whilst he'd freaked out that he'd seen his brother in a pretty crazy position with an angel, he then went and immediately bought way too much LGBT products to be healthy. "But how...okay, so we're having a kid." Dean bit his lip very very very very very very slightly. Ever so slightly. "But dude. How will it come OUT? It's painful enough for chicks."

Cas noted that Dean was having an internal struggle, although it was slightly more external than he probably hoped, considering that the expression of Dean's face looked not unlike that of someone suffering from constipation. "Children are not born through an individual angel," Cas said rolling his eyes. "Have you learnt nothing from our almost year long relationship Dean? Are you suggesting that I look to be with child?" He patted his stomach self consciously and continued to glare. "Angels and their offspring are bonded through emotional energy, and when it is time for them to be born, they appear in a blinding light giving off through the mouth of the angel, or, in this case, vessel. Kind of like when you ate too many burgers mixed with iron bru." Cas nodded, pleased with this comparison. "He will be half human! There has been no child like him before, Dean! This is a huge responsibility. And as Spiderman taught me, with great responsibility, comes great power... or is it the other way?"

Dean nodded, feeling slightly better about the fact he wouldn't have to watch a kid pop out through the top of Cas' dick. Or his ass. That would be fucked up on some brand new level, and Dean has seen a lot of fucked up shit. A half human, half angel kid though. That would be pretty cool. Sam would go apeshit of course, freaking out that he was going to be the goddamn uncle of a half angel. Dean side eyed Cas. "Okay. Okay I think I might be able to deal with this. Did you think of a name yet? I can see you writing names in a list and colour coding that shit like no tomorrow." Then a wondrous thought popped into Dean's head, and an actual lightbulb appeared over his head before giving him a very slight electric shock. "Does this mean we can still do it? Like, now?"

Cas felt a small smile creeping onto his face at Dean's acceptance, and the fact he was not currently trying to physically claw his way out of the motel room. "I have not thought of any for definite, yet." He answered. "And as for your other question..." He smirked coyly, and moved back over towards the bed. "let's just say the baby has only served to improve my libido. For instance, just this morning, Gabriel was suggesting we name our son after Terry's chocolate orange, and I was ignoring him in favour of imagining fucking you on the hood of your car." He stated.

Dean's eyes lit up with actual lovehearts coming out of them, and confetti fell down though nobody knew the source. Perhaps it was Ryan Murphy, but if it was, he had salt thrown at him because obviously he's a demon. "Excellent." Dean impersonated Mr Burns, tapping his fingers together. Then he pulled off all of his clothes in one fluid movement, as they had been attached with velcro. His protruding member was already hard as a literal rock, quivering proudly. "Wanna do it right here, right now?"

Cas allowed Dean to pull him onto the bed, where his hand instinctively wrapped around the hard length between Dean's leg. He couldn't wait to be inside his cave of exstacy again. Unfortunately for Castiel, the exact moment he decided to bend down and wrap his mouth around Dean's throbbing love stick, was the same moment that Sam Winchester walked through the door.

Sam's eyes grew twice their normal size, as he took in the sexy, sexy scene before him, "Oh," he said.

Dean flipped off the bed, but the bounciness of his firm meat wand meant he bounced bad onto the bed, off the bed and he proceeded to injure his assular regions. "Well." he stated eventually, going from checking his love cave and raging boner were okay, to looking up at Sam with calmness despite his incredible blushing. "This is mildly awkward and embarrassing." he decided.

Cas watched in mild amusement while Dean bounced around on the floor, thinking that he looked slightly similar to the tigger character on the television show he and Sam had watched one morning. Perhaps he should get Dean to dress up as some sort of animal during sex... When Cas turned back into his surroundings, he saw Dean pulling on a pair of Dean and grinning sheepishly at his brother. (No, really, he was showing too much teeth due to the awkward atmosphere in the room, and he messy hair in the bright light from the window looked a bit like wool...) Cas decided he would diffuse the tension in the room, and proceeded to do so by clamping a hand down on Sam's shoulder as he had seen Dean do on numerous occasions and saying "Congratulations Sam, you are going to be an uncle."

THE END