Title: Blessed
Author: Kat Spencer
Summary: A moment or two in Jack's life a year and a half after day 8. AU. Jack/Renee
Author's note: This is my first 24 fanfic. I hope that you like it! I am actually extremely nervous! This has been written after hour nine (12:00 am-1:00 am) of day 8. I am, of course, not sure how the day will end for Jack or Renee, but I am hoping for the best, that Jack and Renee will both live and get to be together. Also, I might not have gotten the wording just right between Renee and Vladimir. I can't find a transcript and the episode has been deleted off of our satellite. Ahh…moms. :p
Blessed
By Kat Spencer
"Come here, Renee." Even in her nightmare she didn't move. She didn't come here for this. Her mind started the mantra: I didn't come here for this. The glass crashed behind her like always. "I said come here." Vladimir's voice was calm. He knew she really had no choice, but still she didn't come. She reminded him that she didn't come for this. "Damnit! Come here, or the deal's off!" She came this time, just as she had the first time, when the nightmare was her reality.
The thin towel left a lot to be desired. She wished she had her clothes. She wished she wasn't standing there, nearly naked in front of this man, yeah, as if he were a man. Vladimir Laitanan was no man, he was a monster. She could smell Vladimir and the whiskey he had been drinking, before he shattered the glass on the shower wall behind her. This was where the real nightmare began.
However, the arms that were suddenly around her were familiar, strong, caring arms. His hands soothed her, as did his voice in her ear. She had screamed herself awake, just like every other time she had the nightmare. It was always the same, the night that she killed Vladimir, after she and him had...The night that she couldn't take anymore, and she took his life with the blade of a knife.
It was the night that she confessed to Jack that she didn't have anything…anyone, and he told her that she had him. She had him, she did. Jack Bauer, always true to his word, was hers. She'd 'had' him for the last year and a half. It hadn't been flawless, but it was theirs. They were together and that's all that mattered.
"Renee, you're okay. You're here with me."
She felt immediate comfort, and immediate embarrassment. "I'm sorry, Jack."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. You had a nightmare."
"It's been a year and a half, Jack."
"I know."
"I should be over it by now," she told him as she unfolded herself from his grip and threw the sheet off of her. She stood from their bed and walked to the window that looked out over the backyard. She adjusted her gray tank top and smoothed out the shorts she was wearing.
"There's not a time limit, Renee," he reminded her as he stood behind her. He didn't touch her. He knew she needed the space.
Their dog, Toby was on alert as well. He came to stand beside her, licking her hand for comfort. She patted his head. She whispered a quiet "it's okay" to the Bloodhound.
"Teri will be here tomorrow. Usually they don't stop with just one." Renee's face was set as she thought of Jack's granddaughter. Teri didn't need to visit if she was going to have another nightmare…or something worse.
"Teri knows that you have bad dreams."
"Sometimes they're worse than that. Sometimes…"
"We'll deal with it."
"It's been a year and a half…" she said again, as if saying it again would make it all go away.
"I'm sorry," he told her as he finally put a soft hand on her waist. She let him pull her to him. He rested his head on her shoulder and kissed her neck softly. Her skin was wet and salty from sweat. He knew she would soon leave to take a shower, but for right now, they both needed this. Renee needed Jack, and Jack needed to be needed.
A few moments later she broke the silence. "At least it's a record. It's been four months."
"Mmm, that's something to be happy about."
"I wonder why they're coming back at all."
"You've been opening up more in your sessions."
"I've been opening up with you, Jack."
"At any rate, I'm glad something's helping."
"You're helping."
He was silent and she was sure he didn't believe her. She turned in his arms. "You really are helping me. You, of all people, understand just where I was…what I could have done. What I wanted to do."
Jack smoothed down her wayward hair, which was mostly pulled out of her face. "And you're helping me," he told her. She looked away from his piercing blue gaze.
"I doubt that. I'm sure I make things-"
"Better."
"Jack."
"You do. After I lost Teri…and after Audrey, I didn't think that I would ever have this chance again, to do this, to be this…to have a life like this. You have given me so much more than another ring on my finger. You have given me another chance at life."
Renee sighed and placed her head on Jack's chest. She wondered if she would ever see in herself what he saw in her. She wondered if one day she would wake up and everything would magically be in place.
"I do love you, Jack."
"I love you, too."
"I need to take a shower," she said a few beats later.
"Yes, you do," he smiled down at her.
"I was going to ask you to join me, but after that, you can just stay out here, Bauer."
"You wound me." He played along, but both of them knew that she wasn't really going to invite him. She always needed alone time after the nightmares about Laitanan.
Sometimes, he would find her curled up on the couch the next morning, after an episode. Sometimes, he would wake to find her tightly wound around him. He liked those times. He liked that she needed him.
You're cursed, Jack. Everything you touch, one way or another, ends up dead. How dare him, indeed. Jack wasn't cursed. Not in the slightest. Renee, Kim, Stephen, and little Teri reminded him of this everyday.
She kissed him lightly on the lips. "I'll be out soon."
"I'll be here."
Her mouth turned upward, and if he'd blinked he would have missed it. "I know," she said softly as she headed for the bathroom. Toby padded after her, he knew that she was headed for the bathroom, so he sat just inside the door. The dog was such a mama's boy.
He reluctantly let go of her hand as she got further out of reach. He watched as she pulled her red hair out of its holder and let it fall around her shoulders. That's all he saw of Renee as she closed the bathroom door.
Jack lay back down on the bed. He didn't close his eyes, not wanting sleep to claim him just yet. He would wait for her, wait to see what she needed tonight. He hoped it was him.
Jack watched the minutes go by on Renee's iHome alarm clock. It was pink…who knew Renee Walker liked pink? Jack smiled. He did.
It was 22 minutes before Jack heard the water turn off, and 48 minutes before he heard the bathroom door open. He waited with bated breath. He didn't have to wait long, though.
"Jack?"
He turned to face her as she sat down on the bed. "Yes?"
"It's a nice night out…"
He smiled. "It is."
"Can we?" she asked.
"Of course."
He got up and followed Renee (and Toby) downstairs. The three made their way through the kitchen, and after unsetting and resetting the alarm, they found themselves in the cool night air.
He opened the patio chest they kept on the deck and pulled out a pillow and the blankets they kept in there for nights like this. He liked when this 'sometimes' happened, too. Sleeping under the stars with Renee was one of his favorite things to do. He folded one of the blankets up and put it on the ground for Toby. He settled down, with his head closest to Renee's hand.
They settled into the hammock and it swayed as they got comfortable. They spooned; her back was pressed against his chest. She took his hand and held it close to her heart. He covered the both of them with the blanket, though most went to his cold-natured wife.
He could feel the steady beat of her heart as he spread out his hand on her chest. He was reminded once again that he was living. He was living a life that he loved.
After getting out of the grasp of CTU and the government, he wondered how living a normal, not on the run life would be like again. It had its ups and its downs, like every marriage did.
However, he supposed their ups and downs were different from others. Their ups were nights without nightmares, or a day when one or both of them would open up and tell something that they hadn't told anyone. Or when she would beat him at a game of tennis, or relive her youth and help Teri out with her balance to strengthen her ballet, which the little girl had started six months prior.
Their downs consisted of the Vladimir Laitanan's and the Nina Myers' of their lives. The downs certainly weren't as crippling as they had been. Jack's demons he'd learned to live with. Renee's demons he wasn't sure he could ever live with.
He wanted to take them all away. He knew he couldn't though, at least not all by himself. It had gotten better, nevertheless. The nightmares were diminishing and she hadn't been as low as the scars on her wrists reminded them of.
The hammock shifted as she turned to face him, which was graceful in itself. She rested her right hand on Jack's waist and almost absentmindedly ran her hand over the scar.
It wasn't the scars from the Chinese that made her brow furrow. It was the scar from that night, the night with Laitanan. He forgave her the moment it happened. She didn't know it was him; it had been an accident.
"Renee, it wasn't your fault. You were defending yourself."
"I-I know…"
"We should get some rest. Five year-olds have lots of energy."
She knew he was distracting her, and it was working. "They do." Renee let out a yawn.
"Get some sleep, Red," Jack told her softly as he kissed her forehead.
Jack and Renee slept through the night, without another nightmare. By 10 the next morning they were on their way to pick up Teri. They would be meeting Kim and Teri at Teri's favorite park. They would have her for a week and a half, something Jack, Teri, and Renee had been looking forward to for the past several weeks.
Jack took Renee's hand as they walked through the somewhat crowded LA park. Children laughed and played all around them. He wondered if she had ever wanted any of her own. Maybe he would ask her one day. Just not today.
The pair stopped at an empty park bench. It was made of thick concrete, so they sat on top of the back of the bench. Now they were sure to see Kim and Teri. Jack took this time to study his wife. He did this ever so often. He knew that she knew, but she didn't seem to mind the examinations.
Jack watched as Renee's face lit up. He followed her gaze. Kim and Teri were headed their way. "Jack! Renee!" Teri called as Kim pointed them out to her tow-headed little girl.
"Hey, Pumpkin," Jack said as he scooped her up.
"Hi, Jack," the five year-old told her grandpa. He smiled and hugged her close. Jack took the small pink suitcase from Kim.
"Teri, I've told you. You call your grandpa, grandpa," Kim reminded her as she and Renee pulled out of their hug.
"Kim, it's okay. We've both agreed that I don't look like a grandpa."
"For the record, I agree," Renee said as Teri reached for her. She and Jack shared a smile, then she kissed the little girl's cheek.
"Hi, Renee."
"Hi, Teri, how have you been?" Renee asked as Jack and Kim hugged and struck up a conversation.
"Good. Are we gonna practice?" she asked.
"Do you want to?"
"Yes, I like you better than my teacher."
Renee laughed. Jack knew it was a genuine one. Something else to be happy about. "Of course we can."
"Great, 'cause I brought my shoes and my leo!"
"That's good."
"How's Toby? I can't wait to see him."
"Toby's good, Teri. And I have a special surprise for you when we get home."
The little girl's face lit up. "Really?"
"Yes. It was my idea, but Jack helped with a lot of it."
"What is it?"
"I can't tell you, then it wouldn't be a surprise, silly girl."
Teri laughed. She thought it was hilarious to be called 'silly girl'. "You're a silly girl, Renee."
"No, you are."
"No, you."
"You are," Renee said with a mock serious face before she tickled the little girl. Jack and Kim smiled at the pair.
"Stop, stop, Renee!" Teri told her, in between her giggles.
Renee stopped the assault. "I hafta go to the bathroom," Teri announced.
"Oh, I can take her, Renee."
"No, Kim, you and Jack stay here. I'll go. Come on, Teri, there's one really close-by." Jack and Kim watched as Renee placed Teri on the ground. Teri took Renee's hand without hesitation. The two watched them until they were out of sight.
"She seems better, Dad."
"We're getting that way."
"That's good."
"Yeah…she had a nightmare last night."
"Oh," Kim said, her face falling. She was hoping that Renee's nightmares had taken a permanent vacation, but it was clear that they hadn't. It wasn't fair. None of it was. What happened to her mom, what happened to her dad over the years, what happened to Renee, to Audrey…it was as if all of their lives were in a vicious cycle.
Maybe now, maybe with Renee, her dad had finally found happiness. If she were thankful for one thing, it was that. Renee really did love her dad, and he loved her. Kim couldn't ask for anything more.
"I was hoping they would have been gone for good," Kim said.
"So did I. I even think Renee started believing it."
"It will get better."
Jack nodded. "I like to think it already has."
"You're good for her, Daddy."
"She's good for me, too."
The two sat on the bench and waited for the two ladies to return. "How's Stephen?"
"He's good. He wishes he wasn't working today."
"I like to catch up with him, too. Maybe we could catch a game together on Sunday after next."
"I'm sure he'd like that."
"She really is great with her," Kim told him as she caught sight of Renee and Teri. Jack followed her gaze. "Teri sure loves her."
"Renee loves her, too."
Kim smiled.
Kim and Teri said goodbye. The adults bid their farewells and promised to call that night. Jack and Renee swung Teri between them all the way to the truck. Renee climbed into the back with Teri, making sure she was strapped into her car seat correctly.
Jack watched as she settled into the seat next to her, buckling herself in, and opening the sunroof, because she knew Teri loved to ride with it open. He listened as they discussed the clouds and what each one looked like.
As soon as they stepped inside the house and Teri had been out to see Toby, she began asking about her surprise. Five year-olds rarely forgot things like that. Renee smiled at Jack as they took Teri up to her room and put her suitcase down.
"Come on, Teri, your surprise is in the den," Renee said as Teri took her hand. Teri had one had in Renee's and the other on Toby's back. The three of them found it difficult to walk down the stairs like this, so Toby retreated behind them.
"I love surprises, Renee."
"I know you do."
Renee opened the den door and watched Teri's face for her reaction. The little girl's mouth dropped in shock and then her face broke into a huge smile. "It's a real barre, Renee! And that's way more mirrors than at the studio! It's just for me?" Teri asked, looking up at her.
The barre ran the length of the room and the new mirrored wall. Half of the walls adjacent were also mirrored.
"Of course, Sweetie, but I hope you don't mind, I've been adjusting it for myself."
"You've been practicing, too?"
Renee smiled. "Yes."
"Cool. Can I try it out right now?"
"I think we could arrange that. We could work until lunch, how does that sound?" Renee asked.
"Awesome! I'll be right back!" Teri exclaimed as she ran from the room.
"She loves it," Jack commented from the door as Teri and Toby breezed passed him.
"She does."
"It was a great idea," Jack told her as he stepped into the room.
"Thanks. Of course, she reminds me of me at that age. I lived and breathed ballet."
"Maybe you could take it up again."
"I'm too old for most of it."
"Yeah, but it will help with your flexibility…"
"Jack," she feigned a scold. She smiled as Jack captured her mouth in a kiss.
Jack woke the next morning to an empty bed. He glanced at the clock. It was 5:30 in the morning. Where is Renee, he wondered. He could see that their bathroom was dark, Toby wasn't in his bed, and the nightlight shone over an empty bed in Teri's room. He knew they must be in their new studio.
He made his way down the stairs, stopping in the kitchen first, pouring himself a cup of coffee. He then made his way to the den/studio. He stood at the doorway. Two of his three girls stood at the barre, practicing their grand battements. The only reason he knew that exercise was because Teri had wanted to show him fifty times last night. Toby stood by, watching them.
He knew they knew he was there, but they didn't acknowledge his presence except for a small wave from Teri and a wink from Renee. He smiled at the sight of them. As he sipped his coffee, a thought crossed his mind. Sometimes life got in their way, and he knew that it would never be perfect, but sometimes they had glimpses. And for Jack Bauer, this was one of them.
The End
Author's Note 2: While reading on Annie Wersching's site I found her resume, it said that for 14 years she was an Irish Step Dancer. She also had training in ballet. I do love Annie as Renee (my favorite character behind Jack), she is a wonderful actress! Anywho, I just wanted to give her a small nod.