"Um, why are we here?" NCIS Agent Kensi Blye asked her pixie-sized companion in confusion as they passed a sign bearing the words LAPD Annual Bachelor Auction.
"Because it's fun to watch," NCIS Intelligence Analyst Nell Jones answered brightly, pulling the door open and motioning Kensi to enter first. "Besides, it's not like we're actually going to bid on anybody."
"You've done this before?" Kensi surmised.
Nell shrugged. "Once or twice. And I think you're gonna like tonight's lineup," she added mysteriously, picking up two folded auction programs and handing one to her friend.
Doubtful, Kensi opened the program and scanned her eyes over the long list of names she didn't know.
Wait, what?
What the hell?
She read it again to be sure.
Nope, no mistake.
There it was printed in black-and-white.
Martin Deeks, Bachelor #14.
Speechless, Kensi looked at Nell.
Devious little Nell, who only grinned back at her with a knowing raise of her eyebrow.
Kensi covered her apprehension with a derisive scoff. "Who's gonna bid on him anyway?"
But she had to admit with a sinking heart that just about every woman in that room probably would.
Marty Deeks waited patiently (well, maybe a smidge impatiently) for his turn on the auction block.
He'd never been auctioned off before…but anything for charity, right?
He was optimistically looking forward to a good evening of nice dinner and fun companionship.
And he was sure to raise that charity pot a considerate sum. Who wouldn't bid on him?
"Sold!" he heard the auctioneer whack the gavel into the wooden podium as Bachelor #13 was given to the highest bidder.
Finally!
He stepped through the slit in the curtain and chose a spot at the center of the stage near the front edge as the auctioneer introduced him and began the bidding.
It took exactly twelve seconds for the bids to go from one hundred to a staggering one thousand dollars.
Loving the attention, Deeks gave a flirty little wave to a few good-looking women down near the front of the stage.
Kensi's heart leapt into her throat and then plummeted to the floor at the realization that her partner — HER partner — was going to go home with someone else tonight.
Never mind that he'd had dates before. This was different. This was a charity auction, and everybody knew how those kind of dates went.
All the rules of dating etiquette were thrown out the window, and the auctionee was obligated to submit to whatever the winner decided on.
And judging by the women in the audience who were just on the verge of openly drooling here, all of tonight's plans included a lot more than merely a simple chaste kiss on the cheek.
There was only one thing Kensi could do.
She had to win him.
And then she was going to kill him for doing this to her!
What was that last bid? Two-thousand?
Holy crap!
"Twenty-one fifty!" She hollered above the noise, earning a laugh of amused surprise from Nell.
Deeks' head jerked upward in immediate recognition of that voice. He scanned the crowd, and it only took a second or two to pick out Kensi's face.
She looked…what? Pissed? Panicked?
"Twenty-two hundred!" Nell impishly threw her own hat into the ring, knowing she wasn't in danger of winning and actually having to pay for it.
And Kensi turned a murderous glare on her.
"What? It's for charity, right?" the smaller girl shrugged, grinning unapologetically.
Well, so much for their friendship.
"Twenty-three hundred!" Kensi upped the bid determinedly.
From the stage, Deeks' gaze remained on her, and he couldn't help the thoughts that sprang to his mind.
Was she really willing to sacrifice over two thousand dollars for her own partner whom she got for free every day?
Apparently so.
Score a zillion points for their 'thing'.
And as the other women shouted their bids, Deeks found himself silently prodding his partner to out-bid every single one.
Even if all he got out of the evening now was a punch on the shoulder, it would still be so worth it just knowing how much she was willing to pay to spend time with him!
Now a new thought entered his mind. He should have known that his exotic dancing skills would come in handy again one day…
Grinning cheek-to-cheek and his still gaze locked firmly on his partner's face in the crowd, Deeks' fingers rose to the top button of his shirt and flicked it open.
Then the second button.
A hot flush crept up Kensi's neck as she realized what he was doing.
Forget murdering him — because she was going to have a heart attack right here on this floor!
Kensi futilely fanned herself with the paper auction program still clutched in her hand.
Last button now open, Deeks started to slide his shirt off provocatively as the crowd of women screamed in anticipation.
But then Deeks unexpectedly threw Kensi a wink, slid his shirt back on, and buttoned it up again…much to the loud disappointment of the bidders and silent relief of his partner.
"Three thousand dollars!" Kensi shouted over the uproar, desperate now to keep him out of their clutches.
"Three thousand!" the auctioneer pounced on that immediately. "Do I hear thirty-five hundred?"
"Four thousand!" So focused on her need to win, the words were out of Kensi's mouth before she even thought about what she was saying.
"You do realize you just upped your own bid?" Nell squeaked out.
"Must be his girlfriend out there bidding on him," the auctioneer quipped into his microphone.
Laughter rippled through the crowd, but after the 'girlfriend' comment there weren't any further bids. What was the point of spending that much for a guy who already had someone special?
"Alright, four thousand going once…going twice... Sold!"
Yes! She'd won!
And then she realized exactly what she'd done.
She'd essentially thrown away four thousand dollars.
For Deeks.
Idiot!
He was never going to let her live this one down!
The auctioneer said cheerfully, "By far, the highest bid of the night, folks. Take a bow, Marty."
Oh god… Kensi covered her eyes with her hand in self-imposed shame of having fed a generous serving to Deeks' already bursting ego.
"Are you insane?!" Nell laughed heartily, her face a mixture of horror and hilarity.
"You bid on him, too!" Kensi tried to defend herself.
"As a joke!" Nell exclaimed. "You're the one who kept bidding!"
Kensi felt sick. Where was a hole to swallow you up when you needed one?
Nell's gaze flicked past Kensi and she pressed her lips together and raised an eyebrow to indicate someone approaching.
Kensi turned around slowly, almost mortified to even look at him.
But the expression on Deeks' face was not what she'd expected.
He wasn't gloating.
He wasn't smirking.
He wasn't even grinning.
He just stood there with his fingertips poked into his front pockets and a look of curiosity on his face.
"What?" Kensi challenged with a lift of her chin, ready to deflect whatever comments he was sure to have.
Deeks simply gave her a cute smile. "Really? Four thousand dollars?"
She shrugged a shoulder, feigning nonchalance. "It's for charity, right?"
But Marty Deeks wasn't fooled. He knew it wasn't just because of charity. It ran much deeper than that, with her.
And now he was officially her date for the rest of the evening.
Plenty of time to uncover her true motives.