A/N: Thank you to everyone who nominated me for the 2016 Phanfic awards! I am so honored you have no idea. It would be absolutely AMAZING if you voted for me. (If you don't know what I'm talking about or don't know how to vote PM me. Hint: You vote on Tumbr.) I am nominated for:
Best Angst: "12 Months"
Best Platonic: "I am not a party person"
(Feel free to check either of this stories out on my profile )
Please vote for me if you think either or both of these stories are worthy!
2009:
They were so young.
Dan remembers it all. How they fit together like puzzle pieces when they hugged at the train station, how he had dropped his things in the middle of the walkway without a care in the world.
He remembers that he was almost in tears as he smiled like an idiot against Phil's chest.
That had been a time when Phil was taller than him.
He remembers when they started spending more and more time together, stealing glances and blushing smiles. He remembers, with heart wrenching clarity, when Phil had first slipped his hand into Dan's, how he shot him a smile brighter than the sun when Dan didn't flinch away.
They called it young love.
But it was more than that.
They were soulmates.
They let their hearts lead them, so innocent, so free. Clad in woolly hats, with mitted hands tightly clasped, Phil leaned over and whispered "I love you" in Dan's ear, hot breath making his ear tingle.
Dan remembered how his frozen cheeks had flushed red and how Phil had smiled goofily and kissed his temple.
Dan was head over heels in love. He was so happy he forgot to be scared of the unfamiliar territory.
With Phil he never had to worry about that.
It all came so naturally to them.
That was also a time they weren't well known.
They went on picnics in the parks, laid down and watched the stars. They took a day out to Manchester and eagerly Phil dragged him to the Manchester Eye.
"The city lights are beautiful at night," he exclaimed excitedly, then corrected himself. "Though of course, it won't be as beautiful as you."
Dan felt his face heat and Phil gave him an adorable half-smile.
They got a pod by themselves, and as they rose into the air, goosebumps bit Dan's skin. It was breathtaking.
He looked at Phil, who had his mouth slightly ajar and his eyes full of wonder at the sight. Phil was gorgeous.
Dan took a chance.
He pulled Phil in, then kissed him. Phil relaxed into him and wrapped his arms around Dan's waist.
When they broke apart, Phil was smiling brighter than Dan had ever seen, and Dan felt his heart stop as the pure love and elation filled him.
He was in love with Phil.
They were happy, they were smitten, they were young, and they were unknown.
2012:
Dan was playing the piano again. Phil could hear it through the door, the sharp chords, the depressing brokenness of the sound, and Dan quietly singing to it, his voice thick with unshed tears.
Phil felt his knees give out and let himself slide to the floor, back to the door. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, letting the music fill him, trying to drown out the mess of his thoughts and the outside world.
Dan always did this when he was upset. He locked himself up in his room, playing the piano when he couldn't voice the emotions pulling his insides.
If we say, goodbye today, I'll ask you to be true,
'cause the hardest part of this, is leaving you, ooooh, oooooh, oooh
Yes the hardest part of this…..
Phil wishes this wasn't a part of their reality. He wishes he and Dan could go outside with the constant scrutiny. He wishes that it didn't affect them this way.
Dan couldn't take everyone looking at them all the time. He couldn't take the "Heart Eyes Howell" or "Love Eyes Lester" remarks that were thrown at them. He was closeting himself again.
As the last strings of music died the door opened and Phil hastily jumped to his feet. Dan stood in the entranceway, tears staining his cheeks, his un-straightened hair wildly framing his face.
He looked at Phil for a minute, lip quivering, then grabbed him in a tight hug. Phil hugged bag fiercely, rubbing Dan's back as he felt the latter sob into his chest.
As the hug breaks Dan leans back and stares Phil in the face, the regret and sorrow doing the talking for him.
There's an ache in Phil's chest, one that's threatening to break his heart in two.
Maybe everything is different now. Maybe Dan can't look at him the same way. Maybe Dan looks in the mirror and sees another person.
Maybe he waited too long to tell Dan that he was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Dan looks up at him, still waiting for him to say something, anything. And somewhere, something deep inside his brain, is telling him he needs to never let Dan go.
But it's too late.
2022:
He's never been happier than when he is with Phil. Phil is his sunshine, his hope, his beacon.
He loves Phil more than anyone or anything in the world and he's not afraid to admit it anymore.
They had come some far. Thirteen years had come and gone.
Dan had gone from a small, emo-wannabe to a successful Youtuber with two bestselling books, a sold out tour, millions of subscribers, quickly selling merchandise, a loyal, loving fan base, and most importantly, he now had Phil.
As he pulls the knot on his tie down, he looks in the mirror one last time.
His own face stares back at him, eyes shining, and a nervous grin playing on his lips. Anxiously, he pulls on his black tuxedo again, making sure it covers just the right amount of the white shirt underneath.
He pulls out his phone for a quick fringe check, despite the mirror in front of him.
There. He's ready.
In fact, he's never been more ready for anything in his life.
His mother bursts in, her face lit up with immense excitement, tears glittering in her eyes. She kisses her oldest son on the cheek.
"It's time to go Dan."
Dan takes in a deep breath then exhales, a huge smile spreading across his features.
They walk through the door together, arm in arm.
As soon as they've stepped through the threshold, Dan's eyes such eagerly for Phil.
He can see the rows and rows of guests, chattering excitedly amongst each other, then…..
Then.
His gaze rests on Phil and suddenly he can't breathe.
Phil is gorgeous. His matching black and white suit, his shining eyes, his fringe perfectly swept to one side…..
The smile that lights up his face as his eyes meet Dan's make tears well up in the latter's eyes.
Phil's mother is also clinging to her son's arm but as she also sees Dan she releases it, and Dan's mother does the same.
Phil hold out his right arm, and Dan links his left through it.
Its time.
A hush comes through the crowd and everyone stands up. Music starts playing.
Dan can feel a blush rise to his cheeks as he walks down the aisle.
Smiles greet him in every direction.
As they reach the flower covered altar they let go off each other's arms and settle on holding both of each other's hands. United as one.
The music quiets, the guest sit down, and the procession begins.
Dan didn't hear most off it. He was caught in Phil's eyes. He couldn't believe it.
He was marrying this man.
"Do you Philip Michael Lester, promise to love Daniel James Howell, as long as you both shall live?"
"I do."
Tears are glittering in Phil's eyes and Dan can feel his own eyes welling up.
"And do you, Daniel James Howell, promise to love Philip Michael Lester, as long as you both shall live?"
Phil squeezes Dan's hand softly.
"I do." He states, his voice wavering but certain as a tear makes its way down his cheek.
"Then I pronounce you, husbands for life."
With shaking hands Dan picks up one of the rings and slides it onto Phil's outstretched hand. Phil does the same thing, his fingers cold against Dan's warm ones.
"You may kiss the groom."
Their eyes meet again, warm chocolate against the deep sea. Gently Phil reaches out a hand, thumb caressing his cheek and wiping away the tears.
Then they embrace tightly, lips meeting passionately, and Dan can't hold it in anymore. Tears stream down his cheeks, the salt mixing with the taste of Phil's lips.
When they break apart, Dan is surprised to see Phil's face is wet too.
The crowd is clapping, cheering, but neither of them seem to notice. Their eyes still haven't left each other's.
"Forever and always, huh bear?"
Dan knots their hands together again, and with the ring glittering on his finger, he pronounces;
"That I promise you, Phil Lester."