Sometimes, Sam wasn't sure he could do this. He'd saved the world, sure, but that was different to being thrust into an entirely different culture and planet, being removed from everything he used to know.
Of being suddenly aware that he was, basically immortal and had all the time in the world. That even if he somehow did get to Earth, it wouldn't be his Earth. Ron and Judy Witwicky wouldn't be his parents. Wouldn't even know who he was.
None of his friends, none of his family...nobody that he may recognize on the street would know him.
And how was he supposed to deal with that when he had so much to do?
He'd lost everything, everyone he had known, everything he had taken for granted. Sam missed the Sun.
Cybertron had a kind of...artificial light, nothing like the Sun Sam had known as a human. It didn't have sunrises or sunsets, and Sam suddenly realized why the bots had insisted on watching them so often.
Sam didn't have anything from his home anymore. All he had left were bots that he knew and loved...that didn't know him anymore. They were his, but not his, and he was not theirs.
He had nothing left- nothing but his determination to see Those That Were His alive and well; free and flourishing. Even if they would never know what he did, what he was saving them from.
Even if he felt empty and alone in a crowd most of the time.
Even if he had lost that sense of belonging he had shared with his bots, on his Once-Earth.
Sometimes the only thing that kept him going was that loyalty he still had for his Optimus and the other Autobots. Sometimes it was Lennox's voice that got him moving in the morning, that long ago snapped command of 'you're a soldier now!' that had him putting one pede in front of the other.
Sometimes it was only the soul- spark- deep want to see these younger Autobots, this younger more innocent Optimus, this sane, protective Megatron, these bots that knew not the horror of everlasting war, that knew loyalty and worked together to better their home planet continue to do so that made him go.
He was tired. So very tired, and if he didn't have these things to keep him going, he thought he might just lay down and not get up. That he would close his optics, drift into recharge and not wake up.
But that wasn't who Sam was.
No Sacrifice, No Victory.
Even if he wanted to stop sometimes, Sam was too stubborn to just give up. Even if he felt like he was on an endless road, walking a path that lead in endless spirals.
When he felt that the magnitude of what he had to do, to accomplish, was too much. When he looked towards the end of his path, his end goal, and couldn't find it anywhere.
He knew what he was doing was crazy. That there was no other recorded case of his situation. He was working in the dark, completely uncharted territory.
Working blind, Sam was terrified he would make a mistake. Mistakes that would see those he considered to be His extinguished and gone from the world before their time.
And Sam knew, as sure as the sky of Earth was blue, that if he did manage to make a mistake that saw his own offline...it would destroy him. If he ended up the last one standing...he would truly just stop.
But as he worked to save them, these younger versions of his Cybertronian Family, they worked to pull him amongst them.
It had taken Sam a while to see it, but they diligent and determined.
Pulling him into their pack, their family.
And perhaps that was why Sam was so determined now. He had loved the Autobots of his Earth as his family. And he was learning to love the Cybertronians of his present just as much. He was learning that even if he couldn't explain everything, all that he had to achieve, and why...he could lean on them.
They were strong enough to support him, strong enough to hold him together when he felt like he would shatter.
Determined enough to reach back, and catch him when he staggered.
When the times came that he thought he might just lay down and be done...they lifted him up. When he felt homesick, they were there to offer him comfort and a chance to make a new home as part of a pack.
So when it seemed to be too much, when the weight of his task brought him to his knees…
A servo reached down, and then another and another…
And they helped to carry the burden even if they didn't know what the task that sat on his shoulders was.
Sam was a soldier now. Fighting for them. For himself. For Cybertron, and his pack's future.
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I have been told I needed to take the song lyrics out and that a disclaimer was not enough to actually use the song in here. (I appreciate the warning, thank you). For those who find this later- I used Bryan Adams 'Sound the Bugle' and you should totally listen to it while reading for the full effect.