Written for my writing group. The prompt was "Mephistopheles has accepted your invitation to a bake-off," from a collection of out of context DnD lines. This is really just a bit of silliness, but I had fun with it.
The Cake Is a Lie
"Operation is a go, sir!" Minion exclaimed, striding into the lab on his lumbering robotic legs and surprising Megamind as he crouched under the dismantled controls for the Large Jelly Donut Collider.
Megamind sat up sharply, letting out an undignified yelp as his massive cranium collided with the console. Dangling, multi-colored wires briefly crowned his head before they were swatted impatiently away.
"Minion, I have told you a thousand times! Don't surprise me when I'm working."
Minion looked momentarily apologetic, but he was too excited to pause for long. "But it's such good news, sir! Mephistopheles has accepted your invitation to a bake-off!"
"What?" snapped Megamind. "That's ridiculous!"
"But sir…" Minion looked profoundly hurt.
But Megamind waved him away in disgust. "You can't call him that! Mephistopheles is a villain name! I'm the villain! If anything he is the white knight in shining armor, and I the great demon who will forever tarnish his soul!"
"Er," said Minion. "Of course, sir. It was just an expression."
"Just an expression!" cried Megamind, aghast. "Just an expression! The very reputation of our evil hangs in the balance, Minion! Without witty – and accurate – commentary, what are we? Nothing!"
Minion hung his head, which really meant that he angled his fish's body downward, while the gorilla robot suit remained completely stationary. "Yes sir," he mumbled. "I'll make a note of it, sir. Precision of language is the hallmark of villainy."
"Of course it is!" said Megamind grandly, but then he blinked. "Wait. What have greeting cards got to do with being evil?"
"Never mind, sir," Minion said quickly. "The point is that Metro Man, your disgustingly do-gooder arch-nemesis, has accepted your invitation to a bake-off."
"Finally!" said Megamind, rubbing his hands in satisfaction and already turning to his idea board. This would be one of his greatest moments, he was certain, and it required much planning. He would start with a word cloud.
"He's agreed to meet tomorrow at high noon," said Minion. "On the porch of the Culinary Institute."
"Yes, yes," said Megamind, waving an airy hand, his mind already fully occupied with truly evil thoughts of chocolate, gelatin, flour, and the many nefarious uses of imitation vanilla extract.
Metro Man, of course, stood no chance against him as a chef. This was obvious. Still, Megamind was determined that his victory would be total, and it would be crushing. Metro Man would never rise from the humiliation of this defeat!
Humming evilly under his breath, Megamind dashed to the kitchen of his evil lair to prepare the world's most diabolical ice cream cake. Revenge was, after all, a dish best served cold.