Disclaimer: I do not own SVU, sadly.
Longing for him
As everyone made their way back to their cars after the funeral, she was the only one left. Standing alone, her head hung, the rain slowly soaking her body. She couldn't bare herself to leave, she didn't want to let go, she just couldn't. As the tears poured down her face, she whispered the words she's been holding in since the day they met, "I love you Elliot,". She took one last look then slowly walked away.
"Come on, I'll give you a ride home," John offered.
"No it's okay, i'll walk, but thanks," she said with a slight smile. Even though she had great friends who she knew would always be there for her, she wasn't sure she could make it, especially without him. He was her only reason, her heart, her soul, her savior. But now he was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it.
The walk home seemed like a blur, before she knew it she was standing infront of his apartment building instead of her own. She slowly opened the door and made her way to the elevator. The ride up to his floor seemed like it lasted forever. She made her way to his apartment door and stared at it. She knew as soon as she opened the door, her mind would be flooded with memories. She got out the key he had given her, and opened the door. It opened with a soft creek and she slipped inside and shut the door behind her.
She couldn't believe it, the only man she had ever loved was gone, she had nothing left but his memories. She made her way to the couch and sat down, the room started spinning, she was losing it, she couldn't take it anymore, within minutes she was asleep. Before she knew it she was awaken by an awful ringing sound, she knew it was her cellphone. She looked at the caller ID and of course it was Cragen.
"Dammit," she sighed, throwing her phone on the coffee table. She slowly sat up and made her way around the house. She found herself in Elliot's bedroom, she noticed an envelope on the nightstand. She slowly picked it up, on the front it said "Olivia" in his handwriting. She felt her heart twist, the room starting spinning again, before she could catch herself she collapsed on his bed. Several minutes later she had collected herself enough to sit up. The letter was still in her hand, she slowly ran her finger over her name. She was scared, she wouldn't admit it, but she was. She wasn't sure what the letter would say, there was only one way to find out.
She took a deep breath and slowly opened the letter, in the handwriting she had come to love it said,
"Dear Olivia,
If you're reading this, then I guess I've passed. I can't begin to tell you how much you mean to me. I know this is kind of late, and I should've told you earlier when I had the chance, but I love you. I've always loved you, even when I was still married to Kathy, you were the one I truly loved. Kathy and I were never really in love, but she got pregnant and me being the good Catholic that I was, I married her and took care of my child. Olivia, please don't take this too hard, I would hate to see you in pain because of me. I want you to be strong, and know that I'll always be with you, I'll always be in your heart.
Love for the rest of eternity,
Elliot."
She couldn't take it anymore, as much as she hated to admit it, she needed him. She longed for his laugh, his smile, his touch. She needed him to be near her, to tell her everythings going to be okay. But now he was gone, and all she could do was try to live the rest of her life.
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