All I own is the perverted brain rattling around in my skull
Assumptions and Conclusions
Lisa found Castiel, or Cas as she called him, on the worst day of his life. He was sitting on the porch of her family's large white house, crying. He had just had a huge argument with his father, leading to the revealing of his greatest secret. His father's look of disappointment refused to leave his head. So, Cas did what any rational high-schooler would do. He got out, took off running and didn't look back. This wouldn't be the first time he had stayed at a friend's house to avoid his family, but usually he would only allow Dean to see him like this. However, Cas just couldn't face his best friend right now. So, he ended up on Lisa Braeden's porch on a sunday morning, crying his eyes out, and praying she would come outside so he wouldn't have to ring the doorbell and face Lisa's parents, and her kid brother, Ben.
Thankfully, it was Lisa who came out to get the mail a few minutes later. She almost didn't notice Cas, curled in a ball on her porch, trying to shrink himself into nonexistence most likely. "Oh, my god, Cas, what's wrong?!" she cried, bending down to look him in the eyes. Castiel continued to sob, babbling bits of sentences that didn't make sense. "I'm so sorry, Lisa!" he said, great sobs wracking his body. She sighed, and ran her fingers through her long, dark hair. "What is it Cas, what happened?" she asked him. He shook his head. "N-nothing happened, I just, I'm sorry, i didn't mean to, I just want- He'd never-. Oh, god Lis, you're gonna kill me." She wrapped her around her old friend. "Cas. Cas, shhh. It's ok. Everything's ok, I'm not going to be mad at you. Now, what's wrong?" Cas slowly uncurled himself, and stood up, looking afraid that Lisa would hit him. "Lisa, can I tell you something?" he whispered, looking around as if they were being watched. She smiled kindly, and gave him a hug. "Of course you can. I won't judge you, I promise." Castiel took a deep breath, and whispered something into her ear.
Dean's POV:
Dean drummed on the steering wheel, smirking at himself in the rear view mirror as he cruised down the road in his baby, a '67 Chevy impala. He had taken the long way to pick his brother Sammy up from science club so he could pass by his girlfriend Lisa's house on the way. He slowed down as he approached the big white house, hoping Lisa would invite him in for a quick make out session before he had to get Sam. The sight that greeted him was confusing, to say the least. Lisa and his best friend Cas were embracing on the front porch. he saw Cas whisper something in Lisa's ear. She smiled and gave him a kiss on forehead. Dean heard what sounded like a faint ringing in his ears. He sped away, caught between despair and a hot, all-consuming anger.
When he arrived at the science club, his brother could tell immediately that something was pissing him off. "What's wrong Dean?" he asked, climbing into the shotgun seat of the car. Dean's face darkened noticeably. "You're to young to understand." he muttered. Sam rolled his eyes. "You said that about your math homework to, that didn't stop me. Seriously Dean, what's wrong?" he said. Dean sighed. "ok. I think Cas is sleeping with Lisa." he admitted.
Sam's eyebrows shot up to his hair. "Why? He's your best friend, not to mention the biggest virgin in the universe." Sam reasoned. Dean gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Trust me Sammy, I know what I saw. He whispered something in her ear, and she did that smile she always does and then she fucking kissed him." he said, glaring at the road ahead of him. Sam's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "Like, on the lips? But that's impossible! Cas is-" he cut himself off, frowning like he was in deep thought. "No, she kissed him on the forehead. But still, somethings going on with them Sammy, I swear. Cas has been acting really weird lately." Dean insisted. Sam shifted uncomfortably. "huh" he said, trying not to sound guilty. Dean didn't notice, he was to busy brooding at the thought of his best friend and his girlfriend going behind his back.
And if Dean was really honest with himself, he would notice that it wasn't Cas he was jealous of but he isn't, so he didn't. "What are you gonna do about it?" Sam asked, looking concerned. Dean's jaw ticked. He was silent for a moment. "I guess I just have to talk to the son of a bitch." he said quietly. Now Sam looked really worried. "Just, don't hit him, ok? He's your best friend. And you never know, you could be wrong." Sam said. Dean let out a long, aggravated breath. "Yeah, no promises." he said.
Cas's POV
It was an odd thing for Castiel to dread seeing Dean in the morning. He usually lived for the time he spent with him, even though it would never be enough. But today, Castiel was truly dreading it. As it turned out, he should have. But not for the reason he expected.
Dean was waiting at his locker when he arrived. He was slightly suspicious, because Dean never arrived at school on time if he could help it. As Castiel approached his locker, he saw that Dean was giving him what Gabriel would call the "glare of eternal death". Cas's stomach dropped to his knees. Dean must know.
Cas attempted to act normal, despite the fear that Dean would hate him. "Hello, Dean" he said. Dean glared. "I saw you at Lisa's yesterday." he said. Cas looked at the floor, trying not to cry. "So you know?" he asked, not meeting Dean's eyes. "Yeah I know! What the fuck, Cas!?" he demanded. Castiel took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Dean! I can't control how I feel." Cas snapped. That just seemed to make Dean more angry. "Yeah, maybe not. But you can control sleeping with my girlfriend!" Dean shouted. Slowly, Cas looked up, and met Dean's eyes. He laughed. "Sleeping with Lisa? Is that what you think is happening? Thank the Lord. Dean, whatever you think you saw, I am not, nor have I ever been having intercourse with Lisa. Put away the Kryptonite, Dean." Cas said, smiling. "Yeah, ok. Whatever you say Cas." he said, still looking suspicious.
Dean's POV
He didn't want to believe it, but he knew Cas. That son-of-a-bitch was definetly hiding something. Cas was sleeping with Lisa, he was sure of it. He stormed over to his girlfriend, looking ready to kill someone. "Hey Dean" she said, slightly nervous. Dean glowered at her. "What the hell, Lis. Cheating on me? how did you- why'd you even- I" he cut himself off in frustration. Lisa's eyes widened. "Oh, god. I'm sorry, Dean. i didn't mean for you to find out, I just figured you didn't really care anyway, and I-" Dean cut off the end of her sentence. "Why would you assume I don't care? We've been going out for almost a year, I'd say it'd be a pretty safe assumption that I care.' he snapped. Lisa looked at the ground in a "I-knew-you-would-say-that" sort of way. "You care more about Cas than you do me, and I'm starting to think-" she was cut off yet again by Dean. "How dare you fucking mention Cas. I saw him at your house yesterday! I mean, cheating is one thing, but with Cas? What the fuck. Don't even try to deny it, I saw you kiss yesterday on the porch." he said. Lisa looked confused for a minute, but then realized what Dean was talking about.
"Oh!, Dean, I'm not sleeping with Cas, I promise. He was pretty down, I was just trying to comfort him." Lisa said. Dean's anger was replaced with concern. "What, is he ok? What happened?" he asked. Lisa sighed, part relieved, part sad. "He had a huge fight with his dad. He's going to stay at my house for a week or so until he calms down, that's it. He showed up on my porch, sobbing. That's the only reason I hugged him. Really." she said.
Dean nodded. "Ok. I'll give you and Cas the benefit of doubt. But you said you cheated on me. I need to know who It was." he said. Any relief that Lisa felt was gone in an instant. She looked down at the ground, trying to seem apologetic. "Lis?" he pressed, getting impatient. She played with her hair, looking slightly nervous about what Dean might do, which was an irrational fear, but it was there nevertheless. "I, I didn't know his name.," she confessed. "We were both drunk, It was at Gabriel's party last month. I'm sorry." she said. Dean stared at her with a mixture of shock, anger, and something suspiciously close to relief. Then, he walked away, still not entirely believing his friends.
Cas's POV
Lunch was awkward. Really awkward. Him and Dean sat at the same table as usual, but they didn't make eye contact the whole time. Cas glanced at Dean when he looked away, his friend oblivious to his staring. Normally, Lisa would have sat with them, arm thrown around her boyfriend's shoulders, making everyone around them lose their appetite with there PDA, but not today. Today it was only Dean and Cas, Dean staring off into space, and Cas staring at him. Dean broke the silence. "Me and Lisa broke up." he said, glaring at the wall. Cas's eyes widened. He had thought Lisa and Dean were rock solid. "Did something happen?" he asked, giving Dean his soul-penatrating stare. Dean nodded once, still refusing to look at his friend. "She was cheating on me." he said finally. "Some guy at a party. She didn't even know his name. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse." he said. Cas's heart shattered at the thought of anyone hurting Dean, much less Lisa, his girlfriend of a year. "Dean, I'm so sorry. Thats awful. If you would like, we can hang out at the Roadhouse tonight and get inebriated." Cas suggested.
Dean's eyes lit up, as if he had gotten a fantastic idea. "Yeah, I'd like that Cas." he said.
Dean's POV
That night, Dean was on a mission. Him, Cas, and Jo, were sitting at the counter of Jo's mother's bar after closing hours, trying to get drunk. Or, in Dean's case, trying to get Cas drunk. He felt a bit guilty for taking advantage of his friend like this, but he had to know if Cas had been sleeping with Lisa, and if Dean knew Cas, he knew he'd only fess up if he was drunk. Unfortunately for Dean, Castiel had a nearly inhuman alcohol tolerance, mostly because of his older brother Luce sneaking him beer since the second grade. When Dean tuned back into his surroundings, Jo was talking. "Hey guys, we should totally play truth'r dare." Dean resisted the urge to bang his head on the counter. Really Jo? Truth of Dare? He was in the middle of coming up with a smartassed comment, when he realized that this could help him. He turned to Cas. "I'm up for it. What do you say, Cas?" he asked, giving Cas the "I'm not doing this without you" kind of look. Castiel sighed, and reluctantly nodded.
Dean tried to keep the triumphant smirk off his face. The three of them sat on the floor in a small circle, and Jo spun an empty bottle of beer. It landed on Dean. "Truth or dare, Dean?" Dean scoffed. "Dare. I'm not a pussy." he said, in a "Well, duh" sort of way. Jo smirked. "Fine. Spin the bottle around, and lick the neck of the person it lands on." She said, sounding overly pleased with herself. Dean gave her the standard "What-is-wrong-with-you?" look, and spun the bottle around. It landed on Cas.
Both boys turned a feint embarrassed pink color. Dean leaned in, giving Cas an apologetic look. His heart sped up and he got a warm feeling as he got close within Cas's personal space. Dean tried his hardest to ignore the feeling, to blame it on the amount of alcohol he'd ingested. The blue-eyed boy met his eyes as he quickly darted closer to him, and barely touched his tongue to Cas's neck. Dean flushed, the tiny voice in his brain reminding him of the intimacy of what he'd just done. Cas was bright red, and Jo was in fits of giggles. "Ok, my turn." Dean said, trying to ignore the hot feeling creeping up his neck. He spun the bottle. It landed on Cas. "Alright Cas, truth'r dare?" he asked, smirking like a cat that just caught a bird. Cas's eyes widened a fraction. "Um, I believe I will choose truth." he said. The minute the words were out of his mouth, he looked like he regretted it. Dean grinned like a tiger. "Alright Cas." he thought a minute before he phrased it. Lisa would've told him if she was sleeping with Cas their breakup, but maybe he was just lusting after her or something. He finally decided on a question. "Cas, is there anyone who you're like, lusting after like a thirteen year old girl or some shit?" he said. Castiel looked down, looking guilty and embarrassed. He nodded his head slowly. Dean glowered at him.
He was about to begin further interrogation, when Jo (sensing the tension) interrupted. "Alright, it's Cas's turn!" she said. They glanced at her strangely, as they momentarily forgotten she was there. Cas sighed, and reluctantly spun the bottle. He exhaled, relieved when it landed on Jo, and not Dean. "Alright, truth of dare, Jo?" he asked, in that trademark monotone voice. Jo smirked. "Well, to quote Dean, dare. I'm not a pussy." she replied. Cas gave his trademark smile, just the faintest twitch of his lips. "I believe you made the wrong decision Miss Harvelle." he said, monotone voice betraying the barest hints of amusement. "I dare you to call Crowley right now, and asks him what he's wearing." Cas said, in a self-satisfied tone. Jo's eyes widened a fraction, just the thought of calling Crowley giving her a cold feeling of anxiety. Everyone was afraid of Crowley. Even Dean, who was staring at Cas like he'd appeared and declared that he was an Angel of the Lord. Jo reluctantly took out her phone, taking a long drink of her mother's whiskey. She dialed the number, glaring at Cas. Crowley picked up on the first ring.
"Hello, love." he said, not bothering to ask who it was. Jo sighed. "Hi Crowley. What are you wearing?" she asked reluctantly. She could practically feel Crowley smirk on the other end. "A black suit, as per usual. I could wear a lot less if you'd like." he said. Jo quickly hung up the phone, trying to avoid mental images of Crowley undressed. All three of them shuddered. Jo smiled a bit. "Alright y'all. It's my turn." she said, grinning wickedly.
The boys exchanged looks. Jo spun the bottle, smirking. It landed on Dean again. He cursed under his breath. "Alright, truth or dare." Jo asked. Dean sighed, before muttering "Truth I guess.". "But Dean, I thought you said truth was for pussies." Cas said. Dean wasn't quite sure if Cas was mocking him or not, so he just took a swig of beer, and tried to ignore him. Jo smirked into her bottle of whiskey. "Alright, how 'bout this. Have you ever wanted to do it with a guy?" she asked. For some reason, Dean immediately thought of Cas. But he didn't-he couldn't. He wasn't gay. At all. Even though Cas was pretty-no. Dean cut off his trail of thought, realizing he still hadn't answered Jo's question. "No! Of course not, jeez Jo, who do'ya think I am?" he said. He cured himself internally, that had sounded defensive, even to him. He looked back up, trying to see if Cas had noticed, only to see his back as he stormed away.
Cas's POV:
Cas wasn't usually an emotional person. In fact, Dean was always trying to convince him to "Loosen up Mr. Spock!", but as he stormed off, he noticed that tears had pooled in his eyes. He wiped them away on the sleeve of his ever-present trench coat. Cas ran out of the bar, not quite sure where he was going, considering that Dean was his ride, but not really caring either. He just needed to get as far away as possible from Dean. Dean, who was always telling him to "Find a girl". Dean, who had been his friend since the second grade. Dean, who was so repulsed by the idea of sleeping with another guy. Dean, who still didn't know Cas's secret, because he was afraid of something like this.
Cas tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about his friend of ten years possibly being disgusted by him. He ran away from the bar, stumbling across the street, not realizing where he was headed until he got there. Dean's house. Cas stared at the familiar house, eyes leaking with tears. He sat down on the lawn, trying not to sob. Trying not to think about Dean. If Cas had really paused to think about it, he would have realized that his drunk state of mind was causing him to overreact, and that Dean's fucking family was in the house. But Cas was drunk and stupid, so for the second time that week, someone found Cas crying on their front porch.
Luckily, it was Sam. The younger boy bent down to talk to Cas at eye level. "Cas, what's wrong man?" he said, giving his typical concerned puppy-eyes. Cas sighed. "Dean, we were playing truth or dare and he-It was awful, I think he-Oh, god Sam, he's going to hate me even more and I just-" Cas stuttered through his tears. See, the thing about Sam is that he's very intuitive. Freakishly so. Meaning that he could gather what Castiel had been trying to say with that gibberish, and understood the situation perfectly. "I know Cas, don't worry. The idiot still thinks you have the hots for Lisa. I tried to tell him that you're g-" Cas shot him a glare, cutting him off for the second time that week, just as he was about to say it out loud. ((awfully convenient for the author)) "Sorry." Sam said, looking down a bit guiltily. He hadn't meant to upset Cas, who already seemed a bit fragile tonight. "Don't worry Cas. I won't tell him if you don't want me to. I promise." Sam said. Cas offered him a small smile.
Dean's POV
That Monday, at school, Dean was pissed. I mean, he was worried to, but mostly he was pissed. Cas had no godamn right to run out on them Friday night, then give Dean weird, gay dreams about him. I mean, who does Cas think he is? In the back of Dean's mind, he knew that Cas was not really the source of the dreams. Or the ones before that, going on for the past four nights, but Dean needed some one to blame. How dare Cas make him feel something like that for another dude? That was his mindset as he made his way to his locker that morning. What he saw made his molten lava of rage cool into solid rock of unstoppable determination, something everyone should be VERY afraid of. Cas and Lisa were talking by his locker. He walked closer to hear what they were saying. "It might not be as impossible as you think. I think he's starting to-" Lisa was saying. Her voice died when she spotted Dean. Dean saw red. He couldn't think straight. His ex and the guy he loves? in a flash, Dean realized what he had just thought. What the fuck?! He didn't love Cas. …Did he?
In his mind, he replayed every interaction he remembered having with Cas since the second grade. How he felt warm inside when Cas got too close to him. How he tried to flirt with Cas all those times when he was drunk. How he didn't talk to Cas for a week when Meg kissed him in the sixth grade. Holy fucking shit. He was in love with Cas. Well son of a bitch.
Cas's POV:
Lisa fell silent as Dean approached the locker. Castiel contemplated running away, or hiding his face, but he knew that wouldn't really solve anything. Cas watched as Dean stared at them, eyes wide as if he had just come to a shocking realization. The blonde boy then stomed up to them, looking angry, but at the same time almost… embarrassed? That couldn't be right. Cas assumed he must just be misreading social cues again. "Cas, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked. Castiel nodded, and followed Dean to a less crowded area in the hallway. Dean was looking torn between yelling and making some sort of joke. Apparently, the jokes wine, because when he turned to face Castiel, he had a cocky smirk on his face. However, the confident look fell away when he realized how close Cas was to his precious personal space. He turned red. Castiel cocked his head to the side, confused as to why Dean was acting oddly. The taller boy rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, while Cas watched in bewilderment. What was wrong with Dean? Why was he acting so uncomfortable? Castiel's eyes widened slightly as an awful thought struck him. Dean didn't KNOW, did he?! Shit. Cas had thought he'd been hiding it rather well. Although maybe running off Friday night wasn't the best decision. "I-is there something you wanted to say, Dean?" Cas asked, shifting nervously in his trench-coat. Dean's eyes snapped back to his, he had apparently been zoning out. "Uh, n-no it's fine. Nevermind." he muttered, before taking off to his class. Castiel just stood there, puzzled and a bit worried. "Well, that was odd." he said, to no one in particular.
Dean's POV:
Dean didn't go to school the next day. He convinced his mother that he had a stomach ache, which was actually pretty impressive considering that Dean got all his tips on faking sickness from either Gabriel Novak or Ferris Bueller. He stayed in his room, sulking and trying to think of reasons to convince his mother to transfer him. Somehow he didn't think that "There's a demon after us" would work. He didn't leave his bed all day, brooding about Cas, Lisa, and Cas-and-Lisa, which he was positive Cas wanted. Cas. Fucking Cas, his best friend turned pathetic crush turned love. Dean brooded until Sam got home. That in itself would have been fine, but Sam wanted to talk about FEELINGS. "Dean, what's wrong?" he asked, moose-charging into Dean's room uninvited. Dean glared hormonally. "I'm sick dumbass" he said, trying to make his voice sound scratchy and weak. Sam bitchfaced, rolling his eyes. "No, what's really wrong? Because it sure as hell isn't a sore throat. I know you Dean." Sam said, in a serious, no bullshit tone of voice. Dean sighed. "If I tell you something, you promise not to laugh?" he asked wearily.
Sam's eyes widened at how sad and embarrassed Dean's voice sounded. Sam nodded. "No, I mean actually don't laugh. No smart comments, no nothing." Dean said. Sam nodded seriously. Dean looked down, rubbing his neck anxiously. "I-i think I'm in love with Cas." he muttered, half hoping Sam wouldn't hear his confession. Dean looked up to meet his brother's eyes, and found him smiling widely at him. It was Dean's turn to be confused. "finally, the penny drops! I thought I was going to have to lock you two in a closet until you kissed." Sam said. "Wait, you KNEW!?" Dean demanded, turning a faint pink color. Sam nodded. "Yeah, you were pretty obvious. You pouted for like, ever when that chick Chastity tried to ask him to homecoming remember?" Sam said. Dean's blush burned brighter as he remembered the incident. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked. Sam shrugged. "I wanted you to figure it out for yourself." He said. Dean sighed. "Yeah well, it doesn't matter, 'cause Cas is trying to get into Lisa's pants." he said bitterly. Sam bit his lip, desperately wanting to tell Dean the truth. But Cas would kill him. So instead, he just nodded and made a noncommittal noise. Dean glared silently at the wall of his room.
Cas's POV:
That day, Cas was on the lookout for Dean. Of course, he still wasn't quite sure if he wanted to see his friend or avoid him, but he was alert. It was all fine until just after lunch, Cas was talking to Lisa about Dean at his locker, when Dean saw them. His eyes narrowed dangerously, and he did that jaw tick thing that Castiel had always thought was very attractive. Dean stormed over to him. "Cas, can we talk?" he demanded, glaring at the dark-haired boy. Castiel simply nodded. Dean grabbed his arm, dragging him into the nearest empty classroom, that of Mr. Singer, there grumpy science teacher. As soon as he was sure no one was around, Dean began yelling. "What the fucking hell Cas?! I mean, Lisa, really? Are you in love with her or some shit, 'cause you seem to be following her like a godamn puppy! I mean I just, Urg! You know what, screw this. Fuck you Cas, fuck you." he ranted. Castiel simply stood there, shell shocked. His eyes widened as Dean began to walk away. He had to do something, he had no other option. "Dean Winchester, you are an idiot!" he yelled. Slowly, Dean turned around to face him.
Dean's POV:
Dean's eyes widened in shock. Cas had yelled at him. Cas never yelled. He had a temper, but he always used his trademark deadpanning voice, even when he was pissed to high hell. Dean slowly turned around, to find that Cas was much closer to him than he expected. Dean tried to ignore the heat that pooled in his stomach as Cas stepped closer. "Why, What'd I do!? I have the right to be angry Cas!" Dean said, avoiding his friend's eyes. Cas squinted angrily. Dean tried his hardest to not find it cute. "Dean, you are so stupid sometimes, It's mind boggling." he said, in that ought, gravely voice of his. Before Dean could protest, Cas continued. "I am NOT in love with Lisa, Dean." he said, as if it were obvious. "I'm in love with YOU."
It took a moment for the words to register in Dean's mind. Cas, Beautiful, perfect Cas, in love with him? It didn't make sense. "Don't worry, Dean. I'm aware that my feeling are completely unrequited and I-" Castiel was interrupted mid-sentance by Dean's mouth, which had somehow collided with his own. He. was. kissing. Cas!
Cas's POV:
It took the shorter boy a few seconds to register what had happened. He was being kissed by Dean. It took him a bit, but Cas melted into the kiss, moving his lips against those he had wanted for so long. They broke apart, red-faced and panting, simply staring at each other for what seemed like forever. "But Dean, I-i I thought you only liked women." Cas said, puzzled. Dean rolled his eyes at his best friend. "Yeah well, I love you more, Cas." he said. Castiel smiled, a big silly, tooth-showing grin, one which was a little surprising on him, but beautiful. "I love you to, Dean." Cas said, staring into his eyes. A cocky smirk replaced Dean's genuine smile. "I know." he said, grabbing Cas's hand.