What Jiraiya cannot have in his funeral
As sad as it already is, you cannot request anything sparkly for your funeral--one, cause your dead, and two, it wouldn't be a funeral anymore
Jiraiya:
1) I cannot have cake
2) I cannot have hoes in my funeral
3) I cannot have anyone draw on my face
4) I cannot have Tsunade rape my corpse
5) I cannot have a huge Icha Icha Paradise poster hanging next to my coffin
6) I cannot take all my volumes back from Kakashi
7) I cannot have my funeral in a bar
8) I cannot have all the females wear tight short dresses
9) I cannot have the men wear robes
10) I cannot have Sake served at my funeral
11) I cannot have Sake served at my funeral without Tsunade drinking all of it
12) I cannot have the elders give a long speech about my life
13) I cannot have the elders give a long speech about my life without anthing bad in it.
14) I cannot have a hug
15) Not even one from Tsunade
16) I cannot have my arm back
17) Or my throat
18) I cannot have everyone drunk enough to say what they really feel about me
19) I cannot have # 18 without my corpse being flung out of town.
20) I cannot have my corpse wrapped in paper
21) I cannot have a bulletin with JirTsu fanfiction taped on it.
22) I cannot be buried with my money
23) I cannot have #22 cause Tsunade wull probably take it
24) I cannot have a banner hanging over my coffin with my name in big bold shiny letters
25) I cannot have cats attend. As much as I want them to
26) I cannot have a toad stomach for my coffin
27) I cannot be naked
28) I cannot have # 27 without the men freaking out
29) I cannot have my hair dyed blue
30) And lastly, sadly, and apparently
I cannot have Tsunade-hime.