Sirius never assumed that his life would turn out like that. He was ignored by his own friends. They don't even turn around or glance at him when he passes by.
He tries as hard as he could to get their forgiveness but no avail.
When he tries to ask for forgiveness James put a disgusted look on his face, Remus just keeps his face neutral and peter gets stuck between not knowing what to do.
He did a really immature mistake in his life. He told Snape about the willow which led to know about Remus.
He really didn't know what had possessed him which led him to tell Snape about the willow.
He just had exploded when Snape taunted him of knowing their secrets and told him that he'll expel all of the marauders.
Now he is paying for the sin he did: isolation by his friends. Others just grasped whispered rumors of betrayal and crime and used it as a barrier between the young Black and the rest of the world. Now no one wants to walk past him or even sit beside him during meal time.
Once he was staring longingly at his friends and James caught him staring and gave him a seething look and said loudly that 'he is putting up an act as he wants them back'.
He still can never forget the day when his life turned upside down….
Flashback
He was staring at the common room fire when James appeared from the portrait looking really worried. When he spotted Sirius his face turned into an angry look. "I thought that you were different from your family but you are the same, a backstabbing traitor!" "Prongs just listen to me I….."
"Don't you dare use that nickname only my best friends are allowed to call me that and you aren't even my best friend and don't even think about saying sorry, you don't deserve our forgiveness."
Sirius never felt so helpless in life…James gave a last look of disgust and stormed back to his dormitory and while closing the door he said that he was never allowed inside the dormitory ever again.
Sirius spent the whole night on the common room sofa. Tomorrow came really fast for Sirius's likeliness. When he woke up, the common room had a pin drop silence, no one was found.
He sat there for few minutes which he felt like hours. There was a creak at the steps he turned around to find James standing there with a neutral expression on his face "You are gonna tell Remus about what you did and there is no turning away from this, Black!" saying this he walked out of the portrait door.
Sirius followed James to the hospital wing. He walked in to find Remus sipping water and giving confused looks towards James and peter.
'This is gonna be tough' Sirius thought. When Remus spotted Sirius he gave him a tiny smile which Sirius didn't return. Sirius stood at the foot of Remus's bed and looked at the ground as if it is an interesting thing.
Sirius couldn't meet the eyes of Remus.
"Sirius, what happened? Why are you standing like that?" Sirius couldn't take it anymore. Remus was talking to him so kindly, but he doesn't deserve any of that.
So he blurted out everything…how he told Snape and how Snape found out about Remus…. When he finally had the courage to look into Remus's eyes he was taken aback by the fire in Remus's eyes.
"Get out." But still he didn't move "I said get out Sirius. Never show your traitorous face to me ever again. I thought I could believe in you. Believe in you about my secret.
But you failed me. I should have never told you. I should have believed in what others say that you same as the other Blacks. I hate you. You are excluded from the marauders. We don't want to do anything with you. Now get out."
Sirius couldn't take it anymore, he ran out of the door before the tears started to fall. His friends all hated him. They were the only ones he had. First he lost his family. Now he lost his best friends….
Sirius was never the same after the incident. He stopped dating. He was found always reading or sitting alone by the lake gazing at it. He stopped playing his occasional jokes.
He was always top of the class. If he went out for hogsmade week, he'll be sitting at the corner table of the three broomsticks.
Once Sirius was sitting in the pub when his ex friends entered the pub laughing at the pun made by James. They were obvious to it that Sirius was sitting at the corner.
Sirius kept on shooting glances at them, but they didn't pay slightest attention to him.
"Moony, you remember the boy we met last week. He was quite good right? Shall we add him to the marauders? He is quite trustworthy enough. Unlike the last one" James said.
Sirius abruptly got up and walked out of the pub towards Hogwarts.
Sirius couldn't even believe his ears. They were really cutting all the ties between him! He felt like dying and vanishing pain which his heart cannot bear.
Christmas came faster than he thought. All went to their homes, including his three ex friends. He was left alone in Gryffindor. Left alone in his life. He didn't receive a single gift.
He concluded he can't bear it anymore. He decided to end his life. He decided to die in most cruel way by jumping in the freezing water of the lake and freeze himself to death.
Without anyone knowing he went out and jumped directly into the freezing water. He held his breath and thought about all the good times he had it with his friends.
When he couldn't take it anymore he let out his breath and inhaled freezing water and before he knew he fell into a suffocated unconsciousness.
He opened his eyes to find white everywhere. When the world came to focus he saw that he was in the hospital wing and he wasn't alone all hi ex friends were sitting at the foot of the bed and looking at him intently.
Before he could speak he was engulfed in the arms of his friends. He just sat there stunned at knowing what to do. When they removed their hands James was the first one to speak "we are sorry Sirius." He was a bit confused at why they were asking sorry.
"Why are you people asking sorry? I should be the one asking. I'm sorry that I didn't die; you have to bear me now. I am such a disappointment"
"Enough, Sirius. Stop talking nonsense. We never wanted you to die. We want you back in marauders. We want to be your friends again" Remus said
"But you said that…." Sirius started
"What we said was all a lie. Even about adding another marauder. We just wanted to make you suffer. We didn't know you would go to that extent" James said
"So friends?"
"Friends"