The three of them found love in a lonely place. The truth of the matter was that someone all left their lives around the same time, and the only thing that brought them together to begin with was the fact that they all needed to deal with going on without them.
Erica and Boyd were the first ones to leave physically, but Stiles could tell from the way that Derek didn't fight for them to stay that he had been expecting it for a while.
They left a void in Derek's life that Isaac didn't step up to fill. In fact, these days, Isaac and Scott had been spending so much time together, bonding in their wolf-ness together to the degree that Stiles would go so far as to say that in some sense, they both lost Scott and Isaac to each other.
Stiles was home alone one day, wishing that his father wasn't stuck at the office completing paperwork on case files, just so that he would have someone to talk to. The house felt really quiet, so he started making dinner. He did this sometimes to make the house smell like one of Mom's old recipes- there was a friendly presence that it gave him.
A couple of hours and very large lasagnas later, Stiles wondered who was going to eat all of this food. He'd usually bring extra food over to Scott's house, but he was busy and he honestly didn't feel like being threatened with a baseball bat again by slipping through the window.
He wasn't sure what compelled him to drive to Derek's house the first and second times. The experience was awkward enough to make him change his mind the next time he wanted company. They sat there in silence for the entire meal, Derek not responding to any of Stiles' conversation starters, Stiles giving up with trying altogether.
But he returned a week later with another meal, and they repeated the process until he made a movie reference that the entire world would have understood, just to have Derek give him a confused look.
Stiles was horrified, and decided from that moment on that he would give Derek Hale the greatest gift of all- popular culture.
He demanded that Derek purchase a television and they bought it together with a lot of grumbling. After that was done, he made Derek buy a couch, dragging him to store after store, explaining that he needed to choose one that he liked. Something in a color that would suit Derek's taste, something with the right amount of comfort so that he wouldn't actually mind sitting on it for hours.
After a lot of Derek saying that he didn't care, that the furniture didn't matter, and Stiles insisting that it did, a couch was finally chosen and set up in the house.
Stiles started bringing his laptop and a cable along with him to plug into the television so that they could watch movies. Maybe he forced himself on Derek a little bit, but he was never thrown out of the house, which led Stiles to believe that Derek liked their movie nights too.
Jackson was the next to go. His father had a chance to take New York by a storm, and even though he was a well-known lawyer in California, their family wanted to give the other side of the country a shot. As much as he thought that escaping the craziness of Beacon Hills was a good idea, he didn't want to leave Lydia behind.
Jackson fought leaving as much as he could. Stiles saw the frustration on his face every day from the moment that he was told to the day he left. He saw the anger on the Lacrosse field every practice and game, it being amplified whenever his parents arrived at the games to support him.
Stiles remembered Derek talking about it as they watched the first Iron Man movie how he was worried about what would happen when he was in New York and his anchor wasn't around him, if the anchor would shift or if he would lose control completely.
Lydia and Jackson agreed to wait for each other. He said that he would come back during breaks from school, and that they would be together after graduation. That two years meant nothing compared to the rest of their lives. But on the other hand, he didn't blame her if she decided to move on.
She knocked on Stiles' door the afternoon that Jackson left. She said that Allison wasn't home and she didn't want to be by herself. Stiles was about to leave for Derek's house with the second Iron Man movie ready to go on his laptop. He didn't want to cancel on Derek, but he didn't want Lydia to be by herself either, so she invited him along.
The next thing he knew, Lydia's blank expression was replaced by a smile as she surrounded herself with a million pieces of yellow paper on the floor, trying to figure out if she could discover a new element right here in Derek's house.
"Of course, we'd have to move the couch out of the way", she said, scribbling a blueprint of floor along with some of the things she thought she would need.
"I knew getting this couch was a waste of time", Derek said, looking at Stiles pointedly.
"Well, that couch is where you're sitting right now", Stiles told him.
"It would be the first thing to be destroyed if someone were to show up right here."
"And that's why we can't have nice things?" Lydia asked
Stiles laughed at Derek's expression. "One day you're going to get a reference, and it's going to be beautiful. I'm getting some water, you guys want anything?"
"Does he have popcorn?" Lydia asked
"I don't have a microwave." Derek said, folding his arms.
"Okay, I'll just grab something from your fridge", Lydia said, pressing pause and getting up.
"He doesn't have a fridge. Just a water gallon."
"How do you store and heat-up leftovers?" Lydia asked
"I throw out the food that I didn't eat and I buy more food", Derek told her.
"That's so wasteful", Stiles said.
"It's ridiculous, is what it is", Lydia said. "We can't let you live like this."
"I don't need a fridge or a microwave. It'll just break at some point", Derek insisted.
"Yeah, well you need something to make the place yours."
"Hence the couch", Derek pointed out. "And the TV."
"That was because I forced you to." Stiles said. "Okay, you need to get a microwave and a fridge. All by yourself."
"He should get one of those fridges that connects to the internet." Lydia said.
"I don't need that", Derek sighed. "It'll just get in the way."
"Peter can't be the one out of the two of you that's not afraid of technology. He's older than you, it's all wrong." Lydia told him.
"How did you know about that?" Derek asked
Lydia was silent for a moment. Stiles wrapped an arm around her. "Jackson told her", he said softly. "It's okay. He'll be back."
She brightened up with a smile. "Of course he will. Anyway, the point is that you need to get with the times."
Stiles and Derek exchanged a look with each other. The two of them knew exactly what she was doing. They were familiar with trying to make everything look like it was okay.
"Maybe I should get a microwave." Derek said.
"And a fridge", Stiles corrected.
"Sure. Maybe a fridge too." Derek said.
"I knew we'd break him down", Stiles told Lydia, releasing her and getting back to the movie.
"Give it a couple of weeks and the two of us could get him to actually get this place half decent."
"You can try", Derek said stubbornly as Stiles pressed play again.
"You know, there's something about watching him here that really takes you back", Lydia said, watching Agent Coulson on the screen.
"Shit, I almost forgot about that." Stiles said.
"Forgot about what?" Derek asked
"Wait, so you're saying that there were two Hulk movies and this guy wasn't in either of them. And Barton doesn't have a movie either?" Derek asked when the credits rolled a month later.
"Yup", Stiles said, getting up to throw out the empty bag of microwave popcorn.
"Unbelievable."
"Give it time", Lydia told him. "They'll probably make them eventually."
Stiles washed his hands and disconnected his laptop from the television, stashing the cord and the computer in his backpack. "I guess I'll be headed home before it gets too late. Lydia?"
The two of them started carpooling on the way to Derek's house. It was Stiles' idea, since two cars going to the same destination was wasteful. Maybe it was because he missed having a passenger riding shotgun.
She nodded and got her things together before they headed out. They waved goodbye to Derek before Stiles started reversing.
"So what do you think we should bring next week?" He asked once they left the area. "Should we make the transition from Marvel to DC or should we go back to the X-Men movies? Or should we take a chance with full seasons of something?" Stiles asked
"I don't know- if we go into full seasons, we're going to have to decide on what to show him that hasn't gone downhill after a couple of years."
"You're right", Stiles said, making a turn. "I think we should start going into the Batman movies. He'll like the darker side. But if he starts asking me to call him Master Hale, I swear Lydia, I won't do it."
"I don't think anyone would see you as the Butler, Stiles", Lydia said. "Unless you're into that kind of thing."
"Nah, not much into cross-dressing with a French maid outfit", Stiles said automatically. She wasn't actually flirting with him. "So, Batman?"
"Sure. What do we do when we run out of stuff to show him?" She asked
"What do you mean? What, you think he doesn't like our movie bonding sessions?" Stiles changed gears. "Because let me tell you something, Lydia. He might not say much, and he might verbally say that we bug him, but I'm sure that deep down, Derek likes that there are people who just want to hang out with him. I know I do."
"Me too", Lydia sighed. "It helps."
"But it doesn't make Jackson any closer to visiting?" Stiles asked
She nodded. "I know it sucks that I'm mentioning him. I hate being one of those girls."
"It's okay to miss someone, Lydia", he said. "It's human."
They were silent for a moment before she broke the silence. "I've always hated that phrase. More so now- I don't like the idea that we're less than Jackson or Derek."
"Oh please, you know that Jackson's probably lost without you right now."
"Well, obviously", she scoffed. "But just the idea that they're stronger than us, faster than us, smarter than us…"
"They're not smarter", Stiles said. "And trust me, sometimes that's more important than the physical stuff they've got."
"Is it going to keep us alive?" Lydia asked "We have movie nights every week, and we don't talk about the Alpha pack that's out there. Just because we don't doesn't mean that they're not still out there. I just wish I knew more. I want to be out there figuring out more."
"And just because Gerard's not in town doesn't mean that he's not out there either." Stiles pointed out. "But you don't see me driving around the country trying to find him."
"So we're just waiting for something to hit us again? That sounds really stupid", Lydia told him
"What do you want to do, Lydia? Track down an old man and kill him?" He asked, taking an exit
"No, but it doesn't seem right that he just gets away."
"Trust me, I know." Stiles mumbled.
"Sorry, what's that?"
"I know that it's not fair", Stiles said louder.
"They manipulated Jackson and he had no choice. Matt made him kill so many people. Gerard almost made him kill Scott's mom."
"Matt's gone", Stiles said. "I know it's ridiculous to say, but the guy responsible for the deaths- he's gone. And Mrs. McCall is safe."
"Jackson still gets nightmares, sometimes. Snippets of killing people, the blood everywhere. Being physically controlled to do something…"
"Do you remember being controlled?" Stiles asked casually
"What" She asked
"Well, you were controlled by Peter to bring him back from the dead. How much do you remember from that?"
"I didn't kill anyone."
"No, you brought a murderer back from the dead."
"He hasn't killed anyone since he's been back", Lydia told him.
"He killed his own niece for her status in a pack of werewolves", Stiles said. "If you're so concerned with the past coming back, we should probably keep an eye on him. That makes the most sense."
"Like he won't try to kill us if he finds out."
"There's the moral of the story", Stiles said cheerfully, pulling into Lydia's driveway. "Listen, regardless of how much it hurts later, we can't just go risking our lives to punish them. There are too many people trying to kill us in the present anyway."
She opened the door. "You know you could have just told me that."
He chuckled. "Sure, because you would have accepted something without an explanation."
"I don't think it would have been that bad."
"Lydia, the world is flat", he said with an amused look as just hearing those words made her face scrunch up.
"Good point", she said with gritted teeth, getting out of the car.
"See you tomorrow", he said with a smile as she shut the door.
They told Derek to meet them at the movie theater a couple of weekends later for a change of pace. He never showed up and he wasn't picking up the phone. Stiles was worried about him and kept calling until he received a text saying to go on without him.
"I don't really buy that he's okay", Stiles said to Lydia.
"I don't either, but there's not much else that we can do. Tickets are already here, the two of us are already here, Derek's safe."
"Anyone can fake a text. What would he get caught up with other than bad things?"
"Maybe he has social anxiety", Lydia suggested. "And the whole public place thing was a bad idea."
Stiles didn't think that was the case. Derek had trust issues, not social anxiety. He had no problems showing up in the most random places.
"Why would he text instead of picking up one of my calls?"
"Because it's faster?"
"No", he reasoned. "Picking up the phone just takes pushing one button. Texting is rejecting my call with a message and then typing it out. I'm telling you, something's wrong."
"Okay, let's go", Lydia said. "You driving or should I?"
"We shouldn't have all come here separately", Stiles said, pulling out his keys and heading out of the theater. "We should have met there and then come here."
"Waste of perfectly good popcorn", Lydia muttered, tossing it out.
"I'll buy you some next time with extra butter."
When they got there, Derek was lying on the floor covered in a pool of blood. They rushed over to him.
"I told you something was wrong", Stiles said, turning him over. "Derek? What the hell happened?"
"Get out of here. They might be back", Derek said, coughing. "I'll be fine."
"Stiles." He turned around and saw Lydia holding up a pole covered in blood.
"Who was it?" Stiles asked Derek
"I'll heal. You have to get out of here. They'll catch onto your scents"
"We're not going anywhere", Lydia said, taking off her jacket. "Where's his first aid kit?" Stiles heard her ask
"He doesn't have one, but I do in my car. Under the trunk."
"I can get it." Derek said, trying to get up.
"No you can't", Stiles told him, forcing him back down. "The kit's in a metal suitcase. The metal has traces of wolfsbane in it."
"You'd be a great blacksmith", Lydia complemented. "I'll be right back."
"What's in the pole?" Stiles asked Derek
"Nothing", he said, coughing. "Stiles, you have to get out of here."
"Then why is it taking so long for you to heal?" He asked "I've seen you guys heal right after a gunshot."
"They stabbed me with it until it went clean through my body in the same place for an hour before leaving", he said very quickly before coughing again.
They weren't bent on killing him. They wanted to torture him.
"What were they looking for?" Stiles asked
"Nothing", Derek said, coughing up blood this time.
"I can never get used to that", Stiles said at the sight of it. "It looks like it's just a waiting period."
"I cracked the television", Derek said, wincing. "And I stained the carpet."
He looked over at the television that was knocked to the ground. The screen was cracked- Derek was probably thrown against it. It was the least of his worries at the moment. "We'll fix it."
"We shouldn't have to."
"This doesn't define your life. You're a person that happens to be a werewolf, not the other way around."
Derek was mumbling his next words and coughing after he said them, but Stiles heard them clear as day. "They wouldn't have been looking for you then."
"What? Why were they looking for me?"
"They thought you were my beta", Derek told him. "Saw that we had a close bond."
So they assumed that Derek only hung out with members of his pack. That must mean that Lydia was in trouble too, which wasn't a good thing, since Lydia was new to all of this. She was a fast learner, there was no doubt about that, but he didn't want her in the line of fire.
"So they're after Lydia too. Crap."
Derek looked down for a second before shaking his head. "They're not looking for her."
"Okay, I've got the kit", Lydia called out from the door. "We're going to clean up the wound as much as we can, clean up all that dead bacteria. And then we're going to get some water in you, see if you can get down some food later. But we're not doing that here, because they might come back."
"We can't go back to my house", Stiles said. "My Dad's home and he thinks that the three of us are at the movies.
"My parents are on a business trip this week", Lydia told them. "We'll go there, come up with your excuse later."
"You don't have to do that", Derek said.
"We're not going to leave you here", Lydia said. "We're your friends."
"They'll follow the scent back to your house", Derek told her.
"I'll Febreze the crap out of it before we leave."
Derek started to laugh, but coughed up blood instead. "Doesn't work like that."
"We'll take the chance", Stiles said, trying to lift him up. Lydia automatically grabbed onto the other shoulder and they got him out of the house and into the Jeep. Lydia got in the backseat with Derek. "Keep an eye on him while I'm driving", he said, speeding away from the house. "Don't be afraid to punch him in the face if he passes out."
"I'm going to try to clean up the wound a little bit", she said.
"Keep the suitcase away from him."
"Got it", she said to Stiles. "This is going to sting a bit."
"I'll be fine."
"Yeah, because coughing up blood is healthy", she said, rolling her eyes. "You'll thank me later."
"You both shouldn't have come. You're putting your lives in danger."
"Right, because we were going to watch a movie without you", Stiles said from the front.
"We can always watch Skyfall next weekend", Lydia told him. "Right now, we're making sure you're safe."
"How are you going to do that?" Derek asked
"By being mere humans", Stiles said, smiling at the idea of him and Lydia being a werewolf's bodyguards.
He checked the rear-view mirror and saw Lydia smiling. "And making sure that you can Die Another Day."
"Because You Only Live Twice?" Derek said, wincing at the stinging wound
Stiles was so surprised at the reference that he looked behind him for a split second at Derek and Lydia.
They hadn't gotten through all of the James Bond movies, but they sure tried to pack a weekend with as many as they could.
"He's all grown up", he said to Derek proudly, making a turn.
A couple of hours later, Derek was sleeping on the couch and Stiles was staring at the wound in his stomach as it slowly healed. He wasn't coughing and there wasn't blood everywhere.
He tried to hide it so that he didn't add more craziness to the party, but he was so angry. He knew that Derek worked hard to keep everyone at bay emotionally because of what happened in the fire. He knew that Derek didn't like to see himself as innocent prey, but that was what he was tonight.
The Alphas were probably sitting around, waiting for him to get back from whatever he was doing. They ambushed him, and he probably put up a good fight, but just by himself, how could he have beaten them all?
Stiles liked to think that he and Lydia helped emotionally, and that the healing was a bit faster here because he felt safe. But he shouldn't have been alone. Someone should have helped him to defend himself- Isaac or Scott, or even Peter.
But they were nowhere to be found, and there was nothing that Stiles could do to physically help him.
There was a steaming cup of coffee that was held in front of him. He took it and looked up at Lydia. "Thanks."
She pulled up a chair and sat down, holding her own mug. "I'm sorry."
"What for?" He asked, taking a sip
"I should have realized that something went wrong with him too. What kind of person assumes that he would have some social anxiety? With everything that's happened in our lives?"
"Because your instinct is to assume something normal. It's okay", Stiles assured her.
"It's not going to last, is it?" Lydia asked
He shook his head.
"I wish he said something instead of trying to hide himself. Like an emergency contact."
Stiles laughed bitterly. "That would require him trusting someone enough to see him when he's vulnerable."
"You were there, though", Lydia told him. "You're always there."
Always?
"Yeah, that's kind of what I do."
"You were there that night, telling me to run. You knew what was happening, didn't you?"
He nodded.
"And you got Jackson to take me to the hospital?"
"Someone had to, and I couldn't be there."
"Was that why you couldn't talk to me in the car that night?" She asked
"Something came up."
She set her mug on the table and grabbed his mug to set his on the table as well.
Okay, no more coffee?
"You're right, I shouldn't stay to caffeinated. Won't get to sleep later. And we should probably work on my cover story to my Dad."
She kissed him suddenly and cut him off. He had wanted this for so many years- he had pictured every version of how this would happen and every time it was perfect. But here he was, being kissed by Lydia Martin, and the only thing that he could think of was the fact that she was kissing him right in front of a sleeping Derek Hale.
That he was attacked tonight, that he was sleeping. Stiles wondered why the Alphas thought that he was Derek's Beta and not Lydia.
Beta. Jackson was Derek's Beta. Jackson was Lydia's boyfriend. He pulled away from the kiss. "What about Jackson?"
She looked at him confused, and looked down. "Jackson's not going to wait."
"You don't know that."
"I want someone who knows right away when something's wrong", she told him. "And maybe I could get that with you. What do you say?"
Lydia wanted him? Was this a dream? Because if this was a dream, Derek probably wouldn't have been injured to make this happen. Because that sucks.
"Pinch me", he said.
"What?"
"Pinch me. I want to make sure that this is real."
She let out a laugh and pinched him. "Huh", he said, feeling the pain. "Would you look at that?"
"Still haven't given me an answer."
Instead of an instant yes, Stiles put off making the decision. "It's late, we should get some sleep." He took the mugs into the kitchen and rinsed them out before putting them in the dishwasher.
He splashed his face with water before taking off his shoes and lying down in another couch.
There was the chance that the Alphas were looking for him instead of Derek or Lydia because Stiles was some sort of weakness in Derek's life.
They had a close bond. That's what he said. They had a close bond. What did that mean? Did that mean that Derek had a thing for him? Did that mean that Derek trusted him? How close was close? Was it platonic?
He glanced at Lydia, who was sleeping on one side of the room, and Derek who was sound asleep on the other side. What a ridiculous life he led.
Stiles never thought that this could ever happen to him, but here he was, in front of Lydia and Derek having to choose between the two. To accompany the anxiety, all he could think of was that a threesome would not only be a win for all parties involved, but would save him from needing to make this impossible decision.
He liked to think that he never really lied to himself. When he was a child, he saw Lydia, thought that she was beautiful, tried to get to know her personally, got denied, became obsessed with her, and fell in love with every detail that she found.
As he grew up, he wondered if it was just beautiful girls that he liked, if maybe it was beautiful men too. He asked himself which gender he would have better luck with, since Lydia just wasn't budging on the noticing that he was alive part.
He knew that he was in love with Lydia Martin, and he knew that he was in love with Derek Hale. Stiles was very well aware that his crush on him that was triggered when Derek changed into one of his shirts when he was keeping him safe at the house. Stiles knew that he wanted to keep Derek company so that eventually, by some miracle, he would trust him.
It wasn't because Derek was helpful in case there was trouble, it was because Stiles wanted to make sure that he didn't feel alone. He knew that whatever loneliness he was feeling in his life, Derek was feeling worse, and he didn't want that.
Stiles knew that his life had gotten incredibly complicated since werewolves had entered the equation. He knew that one of these days would be his last, that he would be some sort of casualty in a power play. He also knew that every time that feeling became overwhelming, and there were too many things that were uncertain, he would remind himself of the one thing that was always constant- that he was in love with Lydia and always would be.
Then why didn't he say yes right away? Why couldn't he jump at the opportunity for something he had wanted for a majority of his life?
It wasn't just because someone was sleeping right in front of them- it was because it was Derek.
He kept falling asleep and waking up to both of them just sleeping and still. Being in Lydia's house instead of Derek's reminded him of what happened, how he needed to choose. And he continued to frustrate himself with thinking until he made himself too tired and fell asleep.
It was a very self-destructive night, and when he woke up, both of them were gone from the room. From the noises he heard upstairs, it seemed like Lydia was getting ready and Derek left.
And when Stiles checked his phone, he had 30 missed calls from his father. He called the house, and his Dad answered on the first ring. "Stiles, where are you?"
"Dad, I'm okay. I promise."
"What the hell happened to you? I've had every patrol car checking their routes for you."
Okay, time to lie. "I went to the movies with Lydia", he said, starting with the truth and then lying. "She wanted to watch a scary movie, and got scared towards the end. I slept on her couch, because she wanted me to stay around."
"Next time, you send me a text at least."
"You wouldn't have believed it", he told his father. "People can fake texts. You know that. And I fell asleep accidentally. I was just going to stick around for a little while."
"It's not safe at night, Stiles. You know that."
"I know. I'm sorry", he mustered. "I'll be home soon, I promise."
"You're lucky that it's not a school night. I'm ordering Chinese for lunch later. You better be home by the time delivery gets here."
"Only if you're getting brown rice and a dish that hasn't been deep-fried", Stiles said. "Oh, and steamed vegetables", he added.
"When did the phrase 'my roof my rules' stop applying to you?" Dad asked
"When your blood results came back with high cholesterol", Stiles told him. "I'll be home for a late breakfast, even."
"No you're not. I think you need to figure some things out, and you and Lydia need to have a talk."
"That doesn't have to happen right now", Stiles said.
"It gets worse the more time's gone by. Trust me. I'll see you later."
His father hung up on him before he could say another word.
"Good morning", Lydia called out.
"Hi", he mumbled. "You know where Derek went?" He asked, gesturing towards the empty couch.
"I'm assuming he went back. He wasn't there when I woke up. I wanted to wait for you to wake up before looking for him."
"Let's go", Stiles said, putting on his shoes.
"Shouldn't we talk first?" She asked
"That's what drives are for", He said, hoping that paying attention to the road would distract him enough. He grabbed his keys and first aid kid and they were out the door.
"I know yesterday was awkward, but I'm not taking it back", Lydia told him.
"I didn't think you would", he said, starting the car and reversing. "It's really clean in here. You didn't clean, did you?"
She shook her head.
Derek left to clean everything up. Stiles was going to do that. He was going to go over to Derek's place to clean the mess so he wouldn't have to worry about it.
"I'm going to kill him", he grumbled.
"I know it's weird, but we have to talk about this", Lydia told him.
"I don't think that you should give up on Jackson", he said quickly. "I think he could surprise you."
"Didn't you always think that he was a jerk?" Lydia asked
He did. He thought that Jackson was spoiled and took everything for granted. He thought that Jackson treated her poorly when they were in a relationship, didn't cherish her like he should have, and that he didn't deserve to have her again.
Derek never out and said anything to him like Lydia did, but Stiles could tell on some level that there was something, and not just in Stiles' head. Derek not saying something had to do with his trust issues, and not anything to do with the fact that he couldn't see him.
Jackson used to treat Lydia like crap, but he told her to wait for him. He said that she didn't blame her for moving on, not that he would be moving on.
For a guy that spent years trying to get the bite so that he could be the best again with the whole crowd screaming his name, that was the most selfless thing Stiles ever saw from him.
It was closest Jackson would probably ever come to thinking of someone before himself.
"I'm not sure if it would work between the two of us, Lydia."
"We've been doing this for a while now, going back and forth to Derek's house, just the two of us. We banter, we flirt, we talk about how I kick your ass on exams. I think it's pretty close."
He took a deep breath and said something that he wasn't sure if he would regret later. "You've become one of my closest friends, and that's something that I never thought would happen. What we do, it's important to me. And I think that it's enough for me." He hated saying it, but it was true. It was all he could offer her.
"I don't understand", she said, staring straight ahead instead of looking at him. "I thought that this was what you wanted. You said that you know me years ago, and you were right. My own parents don't know that I want to get a Field's metal."
He nodded. "I have this picture in my head, okay? And I spent years painting it, dreaming up of different colors and different strokes. I used different brushes to make sure that it was perfect. Every part of that picture means everything to me. And maybe I've been right in a couple of those details, but let's say that we were to start something, that we were together. At some point, there's going to be something wrong with it."
"What's wrong with me?" She asked
"Nothing", he corrected quickly. "That's the point. Something would be off with reality and my picture. And I know that I would try to force every element of that picture to happen. I would put you on such a high pedestal that even you couldn't live up to."
"You don't know that that's such a bad thing", she pointed out. "People have had different pictures of me my entire life. I'm used to it. Yours is probably the most accurate that I've seen."
He shook his head. "The picture's not just about your personality, it's about the future that we would have together. It's really specific, you know? And it's not fair to either of us."
"How so?" She asked
Okay, they were doing this. He prepared to completely bare his soul and destroy the illusion entirely. "Where do you want to go to college?"
"MIT or Harvard." She answered
He winced. On the east coast where Jackson was.
"See, in my mind, you want to go to UCLA or Stanford. We stay in the state, maybe we go to different colleges, and go long-distance for a while. You come to my house for Thanksgiving, I make extra food for you to take back with you. We get married after you get your degree in math and I get mine in computer sciences. We get a tiny apartment together that's too small for all of your clothes, and you complain about how you shouldn't be teaching as a grad student and how teaching is taking time out of your day that should be put into your thesis."
He looked over at her for a split second, and saw a smile forming on her face. He continued. "We're really busy all of the time, but regardless of what our weeks are like, we have dinner together every Wednesday. After we're married for a couple of years, I try to convince you to be okay with having a baby, but you don't want one until you get the Field's metal, because you don't want to be just a wife and mom because not only will you be disappointed in yourself, but if we have a girl that's remotely like you, she'll resent you. And then once you get it, you make me swear that we'll pay for a personal trainer so you can lose the baby weight after the pregnancy, and during the whole thing, you make me lie and say that you're not getting fat. You understand what I'm saying here?"
"We could have that life, Stiles." Lydia told him. "We could start that life right now."
"No, we can't", Stiles said. "Because you want to go to school on the other side of the country. That's what you want, and that's a detail in my picture that throws the entire thing off balance. I can't ask you to stay here, and I can't go over there, because we'll both resent each other for not going through with our dreams. And now that you know exactly what the picture is, you're going to feel pressure to live up to that. My picture won't let you grow to be who you want to be, the kind of person that you want to become, it'll make you what I want you to be. If it doesn't come true, I'll try to force it on you, and if it does, I'll ask myself every day how you're with me, when you could be exactly who you're supposed to be with Jackson, or any other guy. And I can't do that."
"You can't be any other guy?" She asked
"I can't be that insecure. And besides, as nice as that picture is, we're never going to be those two people."
"Why not?"
That was when it dawned on him. As much as he wanted a normal life where he didn't feel like he was about to die every week, this was his life now. He wasn't about to abandon Derek or Scott for a normal life with Lydia, no matter what.
Dad used to warn him that listening to his police radio and reading his case files was going to be him in trouble one day. Mom used to tell him that it was a good thing that he was idolizing his father, that it was cuter than running around as Superman.
The truth was that Stiles was always looking for something more, and now it was here.
"That's a picture that I've had in my head since I was seven. Pre-werewolf era. Our lives are never going to be normal again and I don't think I want them to be."
She didn't say anything back for a long time. He kept driving, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. He probably should have given a more superficial answer.
He kept driving, and when they were on unsteady ground driving through the woods, she broke the silence. "Does this mean that we can't be friends anymore?"
"What?" He glanced over at her and saw her looking shy and a little scared, a combination he had never seen on her face. He had seen terrified, he had seen ashamed, he had seen sad. He just hadn't seen the combination. "Of course we're still friends. Really good friends."
"But that's it?"
"Wait a second", he said, stopping the car in front of Derek's house and not letting her get out. "Have you never had a guy friend before? Just friends and nothing else? No development or desire for anything else?"
"Other than grumpy wolf in there? No."
"Sourwolf", he corrected automatically. "Okay, well, here's an interesting experiment for you. You and I are friends. You and Derek are friends. And that's it. We'll get used to it. It'll be just the way it was before, I promise. No awkwardness."
She nodded her head a little bit and smiled. "Of course there won't be", she said confidently, jumping out of the Jeep.
He opened the door and played along, even though he knew that her ego was bruised. He wondered just how stupid he was, giving up the opportunity to be with Lydia for something with Derek that he didn't even know for sure was there.
But then they stepped through the open front door. Lydia made a comment about how he should really lock the door. Derek said that if he did that, he wouldn't have pestering guests all of the time, but on the other hand, he wouldn't get free meals from Stiles every couple of days.
He had a picture in his head of what he wanted a life with Lydia to look like. A ten year plan. But when he saw Derek here, in a wife-beater and jeans, trying desperately to get the blood out of the carpet, Stiles knew that he would risk his life again and again to get him to trust him.
He would hold the man up in a pool for years if it meant that Derek didn't think that he would sell him out at the first second. If it meant that Derek would let him help with something. If Derek weren't so goddamn proud to show how vulnerable he was trying to heal.
"I was going to clean it", He told Derek, irritably. "You didn't have to do this, didn't have to clean up my car. You were hurt, it's okay."
"I didn't want them to find you with me. I had to mask your scent with this and mine. You couldn't be here. You shouldn't even be here right now."
"It's not safe for you, either", Stiles pointed out.
"I can defend myself."
"Really? Because this place says otherwise."
"Yeah, the whole mysterious and brooding thing is getting a little annoying. We found you in a puddle of your own blood last night because you didn't want us to find you and you didn't trust us to help you." Lydia told him.
"I was trying to protect you", Derek said, looking at Stiles.
"Lying around where they could just come back for round two was stupid", Stiles told him. "You want to protect me? Answer the phone so we're not worried about you. And don't lie to me and tell me that you're fine when you're not."
He watched as Derek stared at him blankly.
"Stiles is just being a bit of an overprotective…oh my god!" Lydia exclaimed the end, grabbing his arm. "Be right back", she muttered, dragging him away.
He looked over at Derek as he was being dragged, who was still staring blankly.
"What?" Stiles asked they wound up in the kitchen.
"You're being like Derek's overprotective boyfriend", she emphasized the last word. "That's why you turned me down. I mean, it makes sense. It's interesting, but it makes sense."
"I'm not his anything", he said quickly. "And I gave you an explanation in the car. I meant every word."
"It's so obvious to me now. No wonder you freaked out so much last night. I kissed you right in front of him."
"Not so loud", Stiles whispered desperately. "Heightened senses."
"I mean, I never thought that a guy would turn me down for another guy, but it makes sense. I feel so much better now."
"The guy doesn't even trust us to keep him safe in a house for a full night. Trust me, nothing's happening."
"Oh please, he probably thought that I was intruding on the movie nights the first couple of weeks. Like they were dates or something. Just because he's not vocal doesn't mean that it's not there. Quick, give me your keys and tell me to go on an errand or something."
"What do you want to get?" Stiles asked, fumbling for his keys.
"It doesn't matter", Lydia said. "It's just weird if I'm here while you guys are professing your undying love for one another. I'll give you an hour or something. Drive around."
"With an alpha pack running around keeping an eye on us, that's not exactly a smart thing to do."
"I think I'll be okay", she said, taking the keys from him and leaving the house.
"Where'd she go?" Derek asked, trying to tidy things in the room.
What would be something that only Lydia could get? Not popcorn, they had some microwavable packets left over. Maybe something girl related? Because Lydia was the only girl in the party?
"Lydia had to go get tampons", he said quickly. "Funny, isn't it? We found you with a pool of blood, and now…" He trailed off when he saw the disgusted look that Derek gave him. "Yeah, it's making me uncomfortable talking about it. Can I help?"
"No, I've got it."
"Why? Afraid that I'll mess up taking out the trash? Because I promise, I can handle it."
"I'm trying to minimize your scent, since you're not helping with that. Don't touch anything."
"Why are they after me?" Stiles asked, causing Derek to freeze.
"What makes you think that?" Derek answered slowly
"You said it yesterday. You said that they were looking for me, not me and Lydia, and you said just now that you were trying to protect me. Why are they after me?"
"They made a mistake", Derek told him, dumping the garbage bag outside the door and walking back inside.
"Are they after Scott and Isaac? I mean, if they're after Betas, wouldn't they be going after the actual Betas?"
"No, they're fine."
"Then why me?" Stiles asked "If my life is on the life, I think I should know why."
"Nothing's going to happen to you", Derek said sternly. "Understand?" He moved over to some shattered glass and started sweeping it in a pile.
"Then what is it?"
Derek kept sweeping.
Stiles walked over to him and grabbed a part of the handle, holding it in place. "Derek", he said gently.
"I", he began, looking down at the glass. "Care." He spat out the last word, as if the emotion alone offended him. "They see you as my weakness. If they kill or turn you, they think they can get to me."
"They're trying to get you to their side?"
"I don't know what they're trying to do yet", Derek answered, still looking at the shards of glass. "They said that they killed Erica."
"And Boyd?" Stiles asked
"He got away somehow. I don't know if he's still alive."
Stiles nodded, releasing his grasp on the handle. Derek started sweeping again. "I do trust you, you know."
"You don't have to say that", Derek told him.
"I didn't have to say it", Stiles said, "But I did. And I kind of love you. And I didn't have to say that either, but I did."
He saw Derek looking at him suddenly. "I don't do that anymore."
"Just like you don't care anymore?" Stiles asked
Derek let out a chuckle. "Yeah."
Stiles was okay with that, because they both knew how much of a liar Derek really was.