I groaned and rolled over in my bed as the sharp beeping noise of my pager rang through the room, indicating that I was needed in the hospital, at 2am, for some reason. I buried my head in the pillow and furrowed my brow as though I had any chance in hell that it might stop, but no. The high pitched beeping persisted, and I took a moment before sighing in defeat and rolling out of bed, making no attempts to make it after me.

I flinched at the light which ever so nicely burned my eyes as I entered the bathroom. I took the hairbrush and ran it once through my blonde curls before pulling it back into a hair tie. I then proceeded to pull on the nearest clothes that I could find, grabbed my phone, bag and a granola bar heading out.

"You got paged too?" One of my fellow residents, Emma asked me as I marched into the resident's lounge, grabbing my scrubs and beginning to pull the top over my shirt.

"Nope, I'm here at 2am, when I could be sleeping, because I want to." I replied sarcastically, finishing with my scrubs and moving on to my lab coat. Normally, I loved my job and showed up an hour before I needed to be anywhere, but it was 2am and I'd only just left the hospital three hours ago.

"Jeez, Robbins..." She murmured under her breath, and I resisted the temptation to say something else to her. I instead continued to fold up my clothes and put them in my cubby before our fellow, Dr Evans came into the room and I turned my attention to him instead. Dr Evans was the normal topic of conversation in the lounge these days- mostly by the women. I mean, I was gay, but I could appreciate a decent looking human being if I saw one, and he was definitely one of them.

"Okay, guys. There's an incoming trauma about ten minutes out. Three car pileup, caused by a group of drunk drivers. When you get there, treat each patient as quickly as you can." He announced.

"Dr Morris, I'm on your service today." I said as I approached the General attending a few hours later. Not many of the patients from the trauma had been too serious or surgical, apart from a guy who had a lot of internal bleeding and I'd scrubbed in on, and was in recovery right now. Dr Morris and I got on relatively well.

"Patient in room 102 has indigestion, abdominal pain and a high temperature two days post-op from a cholecystectomy ."

"PCS."

"Exactly. What are you gonna do about it?"

"Do a workup, and if necessary prescribe Loperamide. No reason why he shouldn't be discharged on time."

"Very good. This place is running pretty low today, so round on patients, you know what to do. Anything surgical, page me." She instructed, handing me a stack of charts and walking off. I sat myself down on a chair at the nurse's station, reading through each chart and noting to myself what had to be done. Just as I was finishing the last one, Sarah Wilkins, my intern today apparently, approached me.

"Dr Morris had me run labs on Mr Davies, and he looks all clear for discharge." She reported, handing me the lab work. I read them over and confirmed that he was all clear.

"Tell Morris, then go to the E.R until someone pages you." I instructed. I could see her trying to hide her disappointment at having being sent to the E.R, but there was no use for her up here. At least she could do sutures or something else to keep her busy.

The first half of my day dragged by pretty slowly. I scrubbed in on a coli, but apart from that I spent a few hours in an on call room trying to catch from sleep, which I had gotten precious little of for over 24 hours. I wasn't complaining though- I was working, watching surgeries, seeing patients, well on my way to what I'd been working towards for nearly six years- being a fully qualified paediatric surgeon. I was just over halfway through my fifth year of residency and boards were coming up soon. I'd received offers from quite a few different places, and currently it stood between here, Johns Hopkins, or Seattle Grace.

My parents, of course, had some reservations about me moving across the country so were rooting for me to stay here. I could see where they were coming from- with my brother, Timothy, being all the way in Iraq with the Marines they were obviously hesitant to let another child go. To be honest with myself, I was leaning towards staying here. They had an excellent paediatrics programme and everything I knew was here- my family, my girlfriend Emily, my friends.

On the other hand, Seattle Grace could bring me a fresh start, which might just be the thing I was looking for. I liked my life here, but the idea of a new, reputation and history free life in Seattle was inviting. Seattle Grace did have a great teaching programme, and I'd never spoken to someone who had worked there and had a bad thing to say about it.

"Hey, hun." A familiar voice said from behind me, and I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind. I didn't need to wonder who it was.

"Hey Em." I greeted back, letting myself be momentarily distracted from the paperwork I was doing to give her a quick kiss. "When do you get off?"

She looked at the clock that was on the wall opposite. "A few hours still. I have a valve replacement later on."

Emily was halfway through her Cardio fellowship and loving every minute of it. There was seldom a day when she didn't come home reciting all of the new things she learned. I wasn't really big on Cardio, but I listened intently because I never knew what I would end up facing.

She was great, Emily. She really was. Clingy, and short tempered, which had caused a few bruises that makeup could cover easily, and kinda patronising, but great. But between me, and, well, me, she wasn't 'the one', but I wasn't about to tell her that. What was I supposed to say to her? 'Sorry, but you're no right'? No freaking way.

"I got here at 2am this morning. I got home at 11. I wanna go home." I pouted and she laughed, kissing the top of my head.

"When you get home I'll be there, with dinner." She promised. Last week I'd given her access to the spare key for my apartment, and she didn't hold back in using it.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

After the second trauma of the day, a few patients in the E.R and clinic and a maybe-surgery which turned into a no-surgery, my day was nearly over, and all I had to do was fill in paperwork and I could be on my way. That was, if the luck I'd had so far today didn't continue.

But, of course, it did.

I'd asked one of the nurses, Rose, if Emily had gone home yet. She gave me a smile before checking on the computer, telling me that she had just finished up surgery and was most likely about to leave.

About to leave, my ass! I walked through the halls of her department, looking in every patient room to see if I could see her so that maybe we could head home together. Once I accepted that she wasn't seeing a patient I checked the conference rooms and what I was met with was not what I needed today, or any other day.

My ever so lovely 'girlfriend' was currently sucking the face of some nurse that I didn't recognise, and her hands were roaming too low to be safe. Both of them seemed oblivious to me entrance, let alone my presence, so I took my chance and left before I had to talk to either of them.

Well, at least this way I wouldn't have to appear as a cold, heartless bitch. I headed back to the resident's lounge slowly, reciting the events of the last few minutes over and over again. I was hurt. I knew, as I said, that she wasn't the one, but I still loved her and it hurt. I frowned and pulled out my phone from my pocket, scoffing as I saw the text message I'd just received.

Hey pretty lady, you home yet? I'm still at the hospital, we could head home together? - E x

I considered for a minute going back and facing her, but I decided against it because I'd been up since 2am and I was fried. Instead I started typing.

Will that nurse be accompanying us?

Let me explain. – E x

Don't bother, Emily. It's fine. Just leave me alone.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Over the next few weeks, it seemed that Emily got the message because I didn't hear from her. I saw her a few times at the hospital but I didn't bother acknowledging her, and after a few days I found myself avoiding her. Not like running away every time I saw her, but swapping services with someone so as to avoid Cardio, or taking the stairs so that I could make sure I didn't end up alone with her.

"She was asking about you, you know." My friend Laura told me over lunch one afternoon.

"Good for her."

She rolled her eyes and took a bite from her sandwich. "You should talk to her."

I finished the last of the horrible and very leafy salad I was eating, standing up and facing forward determinedly. "No, I shouldn't. I have no reason to." And with that I stalked out of the place, throwing my trash into the bin on my way.

For the rest of the day I threw myself into revision notes when I wasn't in the OR. Boards were three months away and there was no time for slacking. I, along with all of my fellow residents, found myself staying overnight at the hospital very often to use the library or just to discuss things with others, and there was rarely a night that I spent at my apartment these days.

I knew people were staring at me now. Emily was a well-known doctor in this hospital and there wasn't anyone who wasn't friends with her. Rumours spread like the plague- I had cheated on her, I had slept with a man and gotten pregnant, and, the one that made me laugh the most, which was that I had broken it off and was joining the Marines.

Although I laughed, in the weeks that followed I got so close to actually joining that it was ironic now.

On one of those rare nights were I allowed myself to relax, go to the bar and have a drink, everything came crashing down, and the crush injuries I received nearly killed me.

I had just ended a conversation with an intern who was on a night shift, telling her what to do and to avoid paging me at all costs, when I saw them over her shoulder. Two men dressed in Marine uniform and another one wearing a morbid back suit, all of them wearing grim expressions. This couldn't be good.

I didn't bother excusing myself from the conversation as I walked towards them all, the feeling of dread coursing through my body making my head spin.

"You're Dr Arizona Robbins?" The guy in the suit asked, placing a sympathetic hand on my shoulder which I shook immediately, staring the Marines straight in the eyes. I knew why they were here.

"Tell me."

And at the precise moment that the words 'I'm sorry' fell from the Marine's lips, my whole world came crashing down. It felt like my heart and stomach had switched places, blood pounded in my ears so that everything else that was said was blocked out.

"Aw, diddum, don't cry." Timothy mocked me as we stood in the middle of the airport, right next to the departure gates. I half smiled at his feeble attempt to cheer me up, but nothing could take my mind from it- he was going back, and I may never see him again. "I'll be back before you know it."

I looked up at him from where I was clinging onto him for dear life. I took in his appearance- his hair the exact same shade as mine, his eyes the same blue. His untidy curls and his sticky out ears. His single dimple that showed even when he wasn't smiling. "You don't know that." I murmured.

"I don't." He admitted, tightening his hold on me. "But I'm promising you anyway."

After that was what seemed like the hardest thing I'd ever had to do- I loosened my grip and let him go. I could see him struggling not to look back and when he did he smiled at me. A bug, goofy grin that had never changed ever since we were kids.

And that was the last time I saw my brother.