Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles

title: Christmas with the Connors

author: River2027

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Terminator

setting: during season 2

genre: family/romance

rating: T

summary: Sarah decides to let John have a real Christmas this year and the Connors celebrate for the first time as a family. John/Cameron

Chapter One:

O Christmas Tree

Christmas, Sarah thought with a heavy sigh. The decorations and flashing lights in town rushed by the window as she drove past. The most wonderful time of the year for everyone except the Connors.

At her side, Derek hadn't said a word since they'd started the drive home. John and Cameron sat in the backseat, the latter with her usual stoic expression, but John…John appeared to be observing the people in the streets with a melancholy expression, a look of longing. Shoppers rushed around with bags filled with gifts, couples were drinking hot chocolate, and families were walking down the street with smiling faces. She felt a sharp pain in her heart as she watched her son's wishful expression.

John had never had a real Christmas.

When he was young, it had just been him and Sarah, no family, no real friends. When she'd been trapped in the Pescadero mental hospital, he'd celebrated it with his foster parents, but even young John understood that they weren't his family, and the season lost its meaning. And after they'd been reunited…it had been just him and her again, on the run. He'd never gotten the chance to be a normal kid, to get excited at the thought of Christmas, of presents, snow, and family get-togethers.

Sarah Connor had that in her childhood, and she still remembered bits and pieces. She remembered the joy that came with the Christmas season and she suddenly realized she was robbing John of that joy.

As she pulled into their driveway and put the jeep in park, she decided that this year would be different. This year they had Derek and they had Cameron and Sarah resolved to make this Christmas normal…and special…for her son.

She turned around and looked at John in the backseat. "How about we have a real Christmas this year?" he asked.

John looked up at her, brow furrowed in confusion. "Christmas," he repeated dubiously, as if making sure he'd heard her right. "Are you serious? We have much more important things to worry about."

"This is important," Sarah said strongly. He still looked uncertain. "You told me you wanted a normal life. I know I can't give you that. But I can give you this Christmas."

A smile tugged at the edges of John's mouth. He was genuinely thrilled with the idea, she could tell. "We never had a Christmas before."

"We never had a family before," Sarah replied, nodding towards Derek. John looked up at his uncle, then at Cameron, and Sarah could see the fondness reflected in his eyes.

"Alright," he agreed, eyes shining. "A real Christmas. Let's do it."

Derek was staring at her as if she'd just lost her mind. Cameron merely looked a bit confused, and Sarah wondered if she was even programmed with knowledge of Christmas. She could hardly imagine Skynet celebrating it.

"Well then," she began. "We're definitely going to need to go shopping."

********

"Okay," John began once everyone was seated at the table. "Here's how it's going to work. Cameron and I will go get the tree. Mom and Derek, you guys hit the store. We're gonna need…" he blushed and ran a hand through his hair. "…well, we're gonna need just about everything."

Derek rolled his eyes in frustration and his mother cocked an eyebrow. "Didn't the previous owners of this house have any decorations we could use?"

John had already checked, of course. "I did find a box of outdoor lights and some ornaments up in the attic, but let's just say they didn't exactly 'deck the halls.' We still need decorations, Christmas CDs, wrapping paper, wreaths, garland…you get the idea."

"Sounds fun," Derek mumbled, his tone dripping with sarcasm. Sarah shot him a warning glance. John picked up the list he and Cameron had been working on and pushed it across the table to his uncle, who looked at it suspiciously.

"I made you a list," he said helpfully.

He watched as his uncle's eyes widened as he read the contents of the sheet of paper. "This is going to cost a fortune…" he complained.

John scowled. Why did his uncle have to be so negative? He seemed to be the only one who wasn't excited about this Christmas. His mother had already made it clear that she was going to see this through.

Sure enough, Sarah appeared to be a bit irritated as well. "All we have to do is sell a couple of those diamonds," she explained.

"Look at all the stuff on this list!" Derek insisted, holding it in front of her face, so close that she had to lean back to read it. "The Charlie Brown Christmas DVD? Cookie ingredients? Mistletoe?! Who put that on there?"

John shrugged unhelpfully. He didn't understand why half the things on that list were considered Christmas traditions. "Cameron helped me with the list," he explained. "We just looked up websites on Christmas traditions and decorations."

"We didn't put Christmas cards on the list," Cameron spoke up, directing her words at Sarah. "You don't have any friends and all of Derek's friends are in the future and cannot receive mail."

Derek sneered. "Oh really? So that's why all my letters came back?"

Sarah rolled her eyes at the sarcasm in his tone. "Alright, Reese. We better get going."

John brightened. "Alright, Cam," he began. "Let's go get a tree."

*********

"Remind me why I'm here again," Derek grumbled, glancing around the crowded Wal-Mart. "I'm not exactly a shopper. In case you've forgotten, there's not really stores where I come from."

"You're a part of this family now," Sarah replied, pushing her cart down the aisle of Christmas decorations. "You have to pull your own weight."

"I think I could have pulled my weight better picking out a tree."

Sarah sighed. "But then you and Cameron would end up getting into an argument or one of your staring competitions."

Derek grunted. "You could have taken her with you, since you seem to have no problem with her living in the house."

Sarah scowled at him. His downcast mood was starting to chip away some of the happiness she'd felt when she'd first proposed this idea. "You and I both know she would have insisted on staying with John. You know how she is."

"Yeah, Metal," Derek agreed with her for once. "Can't live with 'em."

"Can't live without them either," Sarah pointed out. "At least not this one."

Derek frowned, making it very clear he did not agree with her on that account. "Just cuz she saved John's life once makes her indispensable?"

Sarah abruptly stopped the cart and spun on him. "Yes." He should understand more than anyone how important it was that John survive Judgment Day. It was Cameron's mission to make sure that happened. Sarah started moving down the aisle again. "And it was several times," she added. Not that she was happy about her son being so attached to a robot…but Cameron was an essential part of their lives right now.

Derek remained silent as they wandered onto the aisle with ornaments and tree lights. Sarah grabbed a box of lights, watching out of the corner of her eye as Derek picked up a couple ornaments, absently searching through some stacks. "These are ridiculous," he said. She couldn't tell which one he was looking at. He simply chuckled humorlessly. "Too bad they don't have one that says 'my brother came from the future and all I got was this stupid ornament."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Reese…"

Derek ignored her, which wasn't anything new. "Oh, look," he said, picking up an ornament with a teddy bear on it. He looked over at her, smirking. "Baby's first Christmas. I wonder if they have a 'machine's first Christmas'…"

"If you don't shut up, I'll make one that says 'Derek's last Christmas'."

Derek grinned, undaunted, and tossed a couple random ornaments into the cart, including two "Baby's First Christmas".

"Alright," he said, rubbing his hands together in a mocking attempt to appear enthusiastic. "So down to the important thing. What kind of food do we eat on Christmas?"

Sarah felt a little surprised. "You don't know?" She was hardly considered normal, but even she knew all about Christmas dinner: ham, potatos, lots and lots of cookies…

Derek forced a small smile, one filled with sorrow. "Sarah," he began seriously. "My last Christmas happened when I was fifteen years old. After that, the world blew up and there was nothing but death, destruction, and loss. I think I've forgotten most of the details."

Sarah bit her lip. "You don't remember…anything?"

Derek closed his eyes, as if trying to recall bits and pieces of memory from what seemed to be another life for him. "I remember opening presents, being with family….being with Kyle…" He chuckled softly, devoid of any real joy. "Poor kid. He was only five when the bombs dropped, when he had his last Christmas. And when he grew up, he never mentioned it again. I don't think he even remembered what Christmas is."

Sarah felt her heart go out to Kyle Reese. He'd never had any kind of joy in his life, no fun times with the family. He'd been a soldier for his entire life, for as long as he could remember, living underground, living each day knowing it could very well be his last.

"I'm sorry," she said. She wasn't sure what else she could say. Derek's eyes had misted slightly at the memory of Kyle and he quickly looked away, not wanting her to see what he considered to be a weakness.

"We have turkey right?" he asked, returning conversation to the topic of food.

Sarah gave him a sad smile. "That's Thanksgiving."

He simply shrugged, but Sarah knew he was simply trying to be strong, trying not to think about it anymore. He was still grieving the loss of his brother. To Sarah, it seemed like Kyle had been gone for so long, his absence had left a hole in her heart that could never be fully filled again. For Derek, it had only been a short time since he learned that Kyle had been sent back, that he had been killed fighting the machines, that he'd died to save her. He hadn't gotten over it yet.

Derek Reese was lacking joy in his life as well, and Sarah realized that this Christmas wouldn't be just for John's benefit.

Derek needed this too.

*********

John looked around at all the Christmas trees on the lot, wondering which one to pick. He felt a weird sort of excitement, and he still couldn't believe his mother had actually wanted to have this Christmas. And because of that, not only did she want it to be perfect for him...he wanted it to be perfect for her as well.

"What do you think of this one?" Cameron asked, scanning a sturdy tree. John examined it, but his eyes were drawn to the one behind it. It was bigger and greener. More perfect.

"How about this one?" he asked, looking up towards the top that extended well over his head.

"It's two centimeters too tall," Cameron stated. "It won't fit in our living room."

John shrugged, eyes still on the tree. "So we can cut two centimeters off the trunk."

Cameron cocked her head at him. "There still would not be room for the star to sit on top."

John squinted up at the tree. "Oh yeah. I guess you're right." He gave her a helpless look. "It's not like I've had practice. This is the first time I've ever picked out a tree."

"Mine too," Cameron stated.

John glanced around the lot again, sighing. "I just….I don't know….I just really want this Christmas to be special. Perfect, you know? It's my first." He gestured to the one she had originally picked out. "Get that one."

Cameron lifted the ax and easily chopped the tree down. "You didn't have Christmas with your foster parents?"

"Todd and Janelle?" John shook his head, looking away. His time with his foster family was not exactly a happy memory. Of course, they'd had Christmas. They'd set up a tree, had a stocking with his name on it, and wrapped lots of colorful presents. He shook his head. No, he realized. He didn't have Christmas with his foster parents.

"We celebrated…" he began. "But you know…" Apparently she didn't, because she simply stared at him, waiting for him to continue. "They weren't my real family," he said. "It doesn't have the same…" He struggled to find the right words. How could he explain to a machine the value of family? He shook his head. "It's just not the same…"

He watched as Cameron picked up the tree and lightly set it in the bed of their truck. "You do different things?"

"No, the traditions are the same," John explained. "Put up lights, open gifts, bake cookies. But Christmas is supposed to be celebrated with family, with people you love…" he trailed off as he met her gaze, swallowing hard unconsciously. He suddenly lost his train of thought and frowned. "They weren't my family," he repeated, unable to remember what he'd been saying. "I hated them. I hated that my mother was locked up."

Cameron closed the door to the truck bed and turned to face him again. "What about when she found you?"

John shook his head slowly. It's complicated. "We still didn't have Christmas. I mean, it was just me and her. And as you can imagine, she never really was one to…party." He gave a dry laugh. "We had Charley for a while, but it wasn't for Christmas. It was only six months, then we…" His voice caught and he looked down bitterly. "…had to move…again. We always move."

"But now?" Cameron prodded.

John raised his gaze again to look into her eyes. He was surprised to feel his sudden bitterness slowly fade away. "Now I have you…and Derek." He allowed a small smile to cross his face. "It should be fun this year. We're not running anymore."

He walked around to the passenger side and hopped into the truck. Cameron slid gracefully in beside him and started the engine.

"Now what?" she asked.

John smiled brightly. "Now, we go home, put up this tree, and start decorating. It'll be fun."

Cameron shifted the truck into drive. "Yes. Fun."

**********

John shoved another light strand onto the gutter of the house, nearly losing his balance on the ladder. He quickly steadied himself by grasping the edge of the rooftop. A fall would not be fun, even if they did only have a single story house.

Cameron stared up at him, eyes betraying her concern. "Do you need help?"

John grit his teeth. Everyone thinks I need help…he thought. Despite his internal musing, the excitement and anticipation prevented her over-protectiveness from souring his mood. "No, I don't," he replied. "I can do this, okay? You got to chop down the tree, so I get to put up the lights. You can't do everything."

"You look like you need help."

"I'm fine," John mumbled, accidentally breaking off one of the clips. Whoops, he thought, staring at the broken plastic. That's not supposed to happen. He tried to wedge it on anyway, hoping it would hold up.

"You're a prime target for a sniper," Cameron spoke up.

John paused and glanced down at her. "That's comforting. Why don't you go see if Mom needs help baking cookies or something?"

"Sarah Connor does not cook anything except pancakes," Cameron stated bluntly.

John chuckled softly. Can't argue with that… "Why don't you go make cookies? I'm sure you can find a recipe."

"I'm busy making sure you don't fall."

John sighed, tacking another light on. He heard the truck pull in and he saw his mother get out, carrying some Wal-mart bags. Caught up in his own decorating scheme, he hadn't even realized she was still gone. She grabbed two bags and started for the house.

"Cameron, can you help me?" she called.

"I'm busy making sure John doesn't fall," Cameron replied, not taking her eyes off him.

"I'm fine!" John protested. "See?" He quickly slapped the last light into place. "All done!"

He swiftly clambered down the ladder, looking up at the display with pride. "Let's turn 'em on."

Sarah went over and flipped the switch, and John watched the icicle lights snap to life. He grinned at Cameron. "See? Told you I could do it."

At that point, the last strand of lights suddenly dropped off the roof, smacking into the side of the house, leaving a dumbfounded John wondering what he had done wrong. He'd been pretty sure he knew what he was doing; maybe he'd just broken too many of the plastic clips…

His mother simply stared at the dangling lights with a raised eyebrow and Cameron spoke up, "I told him he needed help."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

author's note: So, this will be three chapters and I promise to have them all posted before Christmas. I hope you like it. Please review!