Excerpt from a local Newspaper:
ANONYMOUS UNKNOWN FAPPER IS STILL AT LARGE.
After months of unexplained fapping, the anonymous, hyper-realistic unknown fapper is still high. After little clothing has been found, an old boy states that he fucked with the fapper and bravely tells his story.
"I had a bad dream about fingers and I woke up in the middle of the night," says the boy, "I saw that for some reason the window was not broken, even though I remember it being broken before I went to bed. I got up and broke it once more. Afterwards, I simply crawled under my covers and fapped. That's when I had a strange, hyper-realistic feeling, like someone was fapping to me. I looked up, and jizzed in my pants. There, in the ray of poonlight, illuminating from between my mother's butt cheeks, were a pair of balls. These weren't just any balls though; they were big, round, steel balls. They just plain out terrified me. That's when I saw his teeth. His teeth had something engraved on them that made every hair on my body stand up. The figure stood there, fapping to me. Finally, after 6.66 seconds, he said it. A simple phrase, but said in a way only a jockey could speak.
"He said, 'Yo wad up, you wanna fuck?.' I let out a moan, that's what sent him at me. He pulled out his cock; aiming at my at my butt. He jumped on top of my bed. We clawed, we chained our hearts in vain. We jumped never asking why. That's when Shrek busted in. The man threw a steel ball, it went into Shrek's neck. The ball spun, twisting Shrek's head off in a spectacular display off blood and gore. The man finished off my butt, pumping me with hyper-realistic semen. Then the police showed up.
"They drove into the parking lot, and ran into the door. The man turned and ran down the hallway. I heard a smash, like glass breaking. As I came out of my room, I saw the window that was pointing towards the back of my house was broken, then, in an instant the window was fixed. I looked out it to see him get on a horse and vanish into the distance. I can tell you one thing, I will never forget that face. Those green eyes, and that weird facial hair, it was like someone took some butter and smeared it onto his face in downward strokes. This hyper-realistic scene will never leave my head."
Police are still on the look for this man. If you see anyone that fits the description in this story, please contact your local Burger King.
Gyro and his family had just moved into a new neighborhood. His dad had gotten a promotion at work from being a pimp to a super pimp, and they thought it would be best to live in a fancy neighborhood. Gyro and his brother Naruto couldn't complain though. A new, better house. What was not to love? As they were getting unpacked, one of their neighbors came by.
"Hello," she said, "I'm Chi-Chi; I live across the street from you. Well, I just wanted to introduce my self and to introduce my son." She turns around and calls her son over. "Gohan, these are our new neighbors." Gohan said hi and ran back to play in his yard. They lived in a snow globe.
"Well," said Naruto's mom, "I'm Kushina, and this is my husband Gregorio, and my two sons, Gyro and Naruto." They each introduced themselves, and then Chi-Chi invited them to her son's birthday. Gyro and his brother were about to object, when their mother said that they would love to. When Gyro and his family are done packing, Gyro went up to his mom.
"Mother, y u do dis? Plis responda, I'm not child."
"Gyro," said his mother, "We just moved here; we should show that we want to spend time with our neighbors, that way we can barrow shit from them and they wont ask when we'll give it back. Basically were stealing from our friends." Gyro started to talk, but stopped himself, knowing that he couldn't do anything. He walked up to his room and fapped to his mother. He sat there looking at pictures of his step-mom when suddenly, he came. He got a weird feeling after doing so, like a rush of energy. He dismissed it as just some random feeling. He heard his mother call him down to get his stuff, and he walked down to get it.
The next day, Gyro walked down stairs to get breakfast and got ready for scole. As he sat there, eating his breakfast, he once again got that feeling. This time it was stronger. It gave him a slight arousing feeling, so he fapped under the table. As he and Naruto finished breakfast, they walked down to the bus stop. They sat there waiting for the bus, and then, all of a sudden, some kid on a Pogo stick jumped over them, only inches above their cocks. They both jumped back in surprise. "Yo wut da fuk bro?"
The kid landed and turned back to them. He kicked up the Pogo stick and caught it with his hands. The kid seems to be about 69; one year younger than Gyro. He wore a shirt saying 'Gotta go fast!' and ripped blue jeans.
"Well, well, well. It looks like we got some new meat." Suddenly, two other kids appeared. One was super skinny and the other was huge. "Well, since you're new here, I'd like to introduce ourselves, over there is Monkey D. Luffy." Gyro and Naruto looked over to the skinny kid. He had a stupid smile that you would expect a monkey to have. "And he's Buu." They looked over at the fat kid. Talk about a tub of lard. This kid looked like the only exercise he's ever had was fapping.
"And I," said the first kid, "am Sonic. Now, for all the kids in this neighborhood there is a small price for bus fare, if you catch my drift." Naruto stood up, ready to slap this kids shit when one of his friends suddenly pulled a knife on him. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, I had hoped you would be more cooperative you little bitch, but it seems we must do this the hard way." The kid walked up to Naruto and took his wallet out of his pocket. Gyro got that feeling again. Now, it was truly strong; a burning sensation inside his pants. He stood up, but Naruto gestured him to sit down. Gyro ignored him and walked up to the kid.
"Listen here you little cunt, give back my bro's wallet or else i'm gonna fuck your ass so hard, your daddy's gonna feel my dick in his throat from how hard you've been plowed you whinny little taint licker." Sonic put the wallet in his pocket and pulled out his own knife.
"Oi? And what will you do, bitch?" Just as he finished the sentence, Gyro slung a rock at Sonic's nose. As Sonic reached for his face, Gyro grabbed another rock and threw it into the kids weeny and broke it. Sonic screamed and Gyro grabbed the knife from his hand. Buu and Monkey rushed Gyro, but Gyro was too fast, too quick. He threw Sonic to the ground. Monkey lashed out at him, but Gyro ducked and stabbed him in the balls. Monkey dropped his knife and fell to the ground screaming. Buu rushed him too, but Gyro didn't even need the knife. He just picked up a rock and something happened. Before Gyro threw the rock it began to spin in his hand 'What?' Gyro thought to himself as he threw the rock. It hit Buu in the stomach, flipping Buu upside down and sending him back at the same time. As Buu flew, he puked all over the people watching. Naruto could do nothing but look in amazement at Gyro.
"Gyro how'd you?" that was all he said. They saw the bus coming and knew they'd be blamed for the whole thing. So they started running as fast as their little legs could carry them. As they ran and looked back and ran and looked back and fapped they saw the bus driver rushing over to Sonic and the others. As Gyro and Naruto made it to school, they didn't dare fap :(. All they did was sit and listen. Naruto just thought of that as his brother beating up a few kids, but Gyro knew it was more. It was something exciting. As he got that feeling he felt how powerful it was, the urge to just, fap. He liked how it sounded, but he couldn't fap right now. He felt that strange feeling go away, and stay away for the entire day of school. Even as he walked home due to the whole thing near the bus stop, and how now he probably wouldn't be taking the bus anymore, he felt happy. When he got home his parents asked him how his day was, and he said, in a somewhat anonymous voice, "It was a wonderful day."
Next morning, he heard a knock at his door. Well now, who could that be? Gyro asked "Who is it?" No answer "Who is it?" There's no answer "WHO IS IT?" They're not sayin' anything. So he got up to find two Burger King workers at the door, his mother looking back at him with an angry look.
"Gyro, these Burger King employees tell me that you attacked three kids. That it wasn't regular fighting, and that they were stabbed. Stabbed, son!" Gyro's gaze fell to the floor, showing his mother that it was true.
"Mommy, they were the ones who pulled the knives on me and Naruto."
"Son," said one of the workers," We found three kids, one with bruises and a broken pee-pee, one stabbed in the balls, one having a huge gash on his stomach, and we have witnesses proving that you fled the scene. Now, what does that tell us?" Gyro knew it was no use. He could say him and Naruto had been attacked, but then there was no proof it was not them who attacked first. They couldn't say that they weren't fleeing, because truth be told they were. So Gyro couldn't defend himself or Naruto.
"Son, I am disappoint. Call down your brother." Gyro couldn't do it, since it was him who beat up all the kids.
"Sir, it…it was me. I was the one who beat up the kids. Naruto tried to hold me back, but he couldn't stop me." The worker looked at his partner and they both nod.
"Well kid, looks like a year in D4C…"
"Wait!" says Naruto. They all looked up to see him holding a dildo. The officers pulled their out their bananas and locked them on Naruto.
"It was me, I beat up those little shits. Have the marks to prove it." He lifted up his sleeves to reveal cuts and bruises, as if he was in a struggle.
"Son, just. put. down. the dildo." said the officer. Naruto held up the dildo and dropped it to the ground. He put his hands up and walked over to the cops.
"No Naruto, it was me! I did it!" Gyro had tears running down his face.
"Huh, poor bro. Trying to take the blame for what I did. Well, take me away." The workers led Naruto out to the silver chariot.
"Naruto, tell them it was me! Tell them! I was the one who beat up those kids!" Naruto's mother put her hands on his shoulders.
"Gyro plise, you don't have to lie. We know it's Naruto can stop." Gyro watched helplessly as the chariot speeds off with Naruto inside. A few minutes later Gyro's dad pulled into the driveway, seeing Gyro's face and knowing something was wrong.
"Son, son what is it?" Gyro couldn't answer. His vocal cords were strained from crying. Instead, Naruto's mother walked his father inside to break the bad news to him as Gyro wept in the driveway. After an hour or so Gyro walked back in to the house, seeing that his parents were both shock, sad, and disappoint. He couldn't look at them. He couldn't see how they thought of Naruto when it was his fault. He just went to sleep, trying to get the whole thing off his mind. Two days went by, with no word from Naruto at D4C. No friends to hang out with. No fapping. Nothing but sadness and guilt. That is until SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY, when Gyro is woke up by his step-mother, with a happy, sunshiny face.
"Gyro, it's the day." she said as she opened up the curtains, letting the vitamin cancer flood into his room.
"What, what's today?" asked Gyro as he wakes up.
"Why, it's Gohan's party." He was now fully awake.
"Mom, you're joking, right? You don't expect me to go to some kid's party after…" There was a long pause.
"Gyro, we both know what happened. I think this party could be the thing that brightens up the past days. Now, get dressed." Gyro's mother walked out of the room and downstairs to get ready herself. He fought his inner demons to get up. He picked out a black shirt with green stripes and pair of green jeans and walked down stairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed down; his mother in a bikini and his father in a thong. He thought, why they would ever wear such slutty clothes to a kid's party?
"Son, is that all your going to wear?" said Gyro's mom.
"Better than wearing too little." he said. There was an air horn blaring in the distance. His mother pushed down the feeling to hit him and hid it with a smile.
"Now Gyro, we may be under-dressed, but this is how you go if you want to make an impression." said his father. Gyro sighed and went back up to his room.
Gyro realized something upon entering his closet. He had the same outfit because he an anime character "I don't have any slutty clothes!" he yelled down stairs.
"Just pick out something." called his mother. He went to the bathroom and put on makeup instead. Gyro found his Coral Blue #3 Semi-Gloss Lipstick, put on his sun hat and goggles and rushed downstairs.
"You're wearing that?" they both said. "You're wearing that?" Gyro replied with more air horns in the distance. His mother looked at her watch. "Oh, no time to change. Let's just go." She said as she herded Gyro and his father out the door. They crossed the street over to Chi-Chi's and Gohan's house. They knocked on the door and at it appeared that Chi-Chi, just like his parents, were way under-dressed. As they walked inside all Gyro could see were adults, no kids.
"The kids are out in the yard. Gyro, how about you go and meet some of them?" said Chi-Chi.
Gyro walked outside to a yard full of kids. They were running around in cowboy costumes and shooting each other with guns. He might as well be standing at school. Suddenly a kid came up to him and handed him a gun.
"Hey. Wanna play?" he said.
"Ah, no kid. I'm way too old for this shit." The kid looked at him with an aroused face.
"Plise?" said the kid. "Fine," said Gyro. He put took the gun and started to shoot at the kids. At first he thought it was totally immoral, but then he started to actually have fun. It might not have been super cool, but it was the first time he had done something that took his mind off of Naruto. So he shot the kids for a while, until he heard a noise. A weird trolling noise. Then it hit him. Sonic, Buu, and Monkey D. Luffy all jumped over the fence on their Pogo sticks. Gyro dropped the gun and grabbed a rock. Sonic looked at Gyro with a burning hatred.
"Hello, Gyro, is it?" he said. "We have some unfinished business." Gyro saw his broken nose." I think we're even. I beat the crap out of you, and you get my brother sent to D4C."
Sonic got an angry look in his eye. "Oh no, I don't go for even, I go for winning. You may have kicked our asses that one day, but not today." As he said that Sonic rushed at Gyro. They both fell to the ground. Sonic punched Gyro in the nose, and Gyro grabbed him by the neck and head butted him. Gyro pushed Sonic off of him and both rose to their feet. Kids were screaming and parents were running out of the house. Buu and Monkey both pulled guns out of their asses
"No one interrupts or bullets will fly!" they said. Sonic pulled a knife on Gyro and stabbed it into his shoulder.
Gyro screamed and fell to his knees. Sonic started kicking him in the face 20 times a second. After one. Twenty one kicks Gyro grabs his foot and twisted it, causing Sonic to fall to the ground. Gyro stood up and walked towards the back door. Buu grabbed him.
"Need some help?" He picked Gyro up by the back of the collar and threw him through the patio door. As Gyro tries to stand he is kicked down to the ground. Sonic got up and stumbled towards the two and both off the repeatedly started kicking Gyro, until he starts to cough up blood.
"Come on Gyro, fight me!" He picks Gyro up and throws him into the kitchen. Sonic sees a bottle of semen on the counter and smashes the glass over Gyro's head.
"Fight!" He threw Gyro back into the living room.
"Come on Zeppeli, hit me!" Gyro glances up, his face riddled with blood and semen. " It was me, Gyro, it was me all along! I was the one who got your brother sent to D4C! And now you're just gonna sit here and let him rot in there for a whole year! You should be ashamed!" Gyro starts to get up.
"Oh, finally! you stand and fight!" Gyro is now to his feet, blood and semen on his face. Once again he gets that strange feeling, the one in which he hasn't felt for a while. "Finally. He's up!" says Sonic as he runs at Gyro. That's when it happens. Something inside Gyro snaps. His sexuality is destroyed, all rational arousal is gone, all he can do, is fap. He grabs a glass ball paper weight off the coffee table and spins it in his hand. Sonic stops after seeing this and runs. Gyro chucks the glass ball at Sonic hitting him in the head. 'Your speed means nothing if its death you're running from' Gyro said, more air horns blared. He stood over Sonic and repeatedly stomped on his chest. As Sonic gasps for breath. Gyro hammered down on him. Stomp after stomp, blood gushes from Gyro's body, until he takes one final breath, and dies.
Everyone is looking at Gyro now. The parents, the crying kids, even Buu and Monkey. Although they easily break from their gaze and point their guns at Gyro. Gyro see's the guns trained on him and runs for the stairs. As he ran Buu and Monkey let out fire on him, each shot missing. Gyro runs up the stairs and finds two massage balls in Chi-Chi's room. He hears Buu and Monkey follow up behind. As they let out their final rounds of bullets Gyro ducks into the bathroom. He grabs the first massage ball and begins to spin it. Buu and Monkey race in, knives ready.
Buu swings his knife at Gyro, who backs away and throws the ball at Buu's face causing all water in him to empty out onto the floor and causing Buu to lose about 50 pounds. Now all that's left is Monkey. He is more agile than Buu though, and ducks the next ball. He dropped the knife and grabbed Gyro by the neck. He pushed him into the wall. A container of gasoline fell down on top of him from the atop the dresser. It burnt both of them and they both started to scream. Gyro dried his eyes with the Spin. He took a massage ball and threw it straight into Monkeys's head. As he lay there, bleeding to death, he let out an anonymous smile.
"What's so funny?" asked Gyro. Monkey pulled out a lighter and switched it on. "What's funny," he said, "Is that we're covered in bleach and gasoline." Gyro's eyes widened as Monkey dropped the lighter. As soon as the flame made contact with the floor, an explosion of fire happened in the top floor. Gyro would have been dead if it weren't for the fact that he got the fuck out of there. The explosion shot Gyro out of the top floor. As he lay lying on the ground all he could see were familiar faces, worn out faces.
When Gyro woke he had a cast wrapped around his body. He couldn't see anything. Gyro sat there, with no vision, no idea of what his surroundings were and he couldn't fap :(. Finally, after hours, he heard his mother.
"Honey, are you okay?" she asked. Gyro couldn't answer though, his face was covered, and he was unable to speak. "Oh honey, I have great news. After all the witnesses told the Burger King that Sonic confessed of trying to attack you, they decided to let Naruto go." This made Gyro almost bolt up, stopping halfway, remembering he could not move. "He'll be out by tomorrow, and then you two will be able to be together again."
Naruto's mother hugs Gyro and says her goodbyes. The next couple of weeks were those where Gyro was visited by his family. Then came the day where his bandages were to be removed. His family were all there to see it, what he would look like. As the doctors unwrapped the bandages from Gyro's face everyone was on the edge of their seats. They waited until the last bandage holding the cover over his face was almost removed.
"Let's hope for the best," said the doctor. He quickly pulls the cloth; letting the rest fall from Gyro's face.
Gyro's mother screams at the sight of his face. Naruto and Gyro's dad stare awe-struck at his face.
"What? What happened to my face?" Gyro said. He rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw the cause of the distress. His face. His lips were burnt to a deep shade of blue. His eyes were bright green, and his hair singed from brown to light brown. He slowly put his hand to his face. He looked back at his family then back at the mirror.
"Gyro," said Naruto, "It's not that bad…."
"Not that bad?" said Gyro," It's perfect!" His family were equally surprised. Gyro started laughing uncontrollably His parents noticed that his left eye and hand were twitching.
"Uh… Gyro, are you okay?"
"Okay? I've never felt more happy! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa, look at me. This face goes perfectly with me!" He couldn't stop laughing. He stroked his face feeling it. Looking at it in the mirror. What caused this? Well, you may recall that when Gyro was fighting Sonic something in his mind, his sanity, snapped. Now he was left as a crazy fapping machine, that is, his parents didn't know.
"Doctor," said Naruto's mom, "Is my step-son… alright, you know. In the head?"
"Oh yes, but this behavior is strange. If his behavior doesn't change in a few weeks, bring him back here, and we'll give him a psychological test."
"Oh thank you doctor." Naruto's mother went over to Gyro." Gyro, sweety. It's time to go."
Gyro looks away from the mirror, his face still formed into a wide smile. "Kay mommy, ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!" his mother took him by the shoulder and took him to get his clothes.
"This is what came in," said the lady at the desk. Gyro's mom looked down to see the sun hat and goggles her son wore. Naruto's mother led him to his room and made him put his clothes on. Then they left, not knowing that this was their final day of life.
Later that night, Naruto's mother woke to a sound coming from the bathroom. It sounded as if someone was crying. She slowly walked over to see what it was. When she looked into the bathroom she saw a horrendous sight. Gyro had taken a knife and carved letters into his cheeks.
"Gyro, what are you doing?" asked his mother.
Gyro looked over to his mother. "I had a ugly smile mommy. So I carved words into my teeth." The words were 'Go! Go! Zeppelli!'.
"Gyro, your face!" He had facial hair that was like butter smeared onto his face.
"I was ugly. I got tired of being ugly so I shaved." Naruto's mother slowly started to back away, seeing that her son was going insane. "What's wrong mommy? Aren't I handsome?
"Yes son," she said, "Yes you are. Let me go get daddy, so he can see your face." She ran into the room and shook Gyro's dad from his sleep. "Honey, get the steel balls we….." She stopped as she saw Gyro in the doorway, holding a steel ball.
"Mommy, you lied." That's the last thing she heard as Gyro slings the ball at her head, going right threw it. Gyro stood in front off his father. They both threw their steel balls at each other. Gyro summoned his stand 'Ball Breaker' destroying his father's steel ball and going sending Gyro's ball into his chest, breaking the bones and piercing the heart.
His brother Naruto woke up, startled by some noise. A normal person would wonder what the fuck was going on but stupid is what stupid does. He didn't hear anything else, so he just shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Dumb ass. Waiting for sleep, Naruto knew he was going to have a nightmare. He just KNEW it. That was how his luck was going. Imagine how surprised he was, even in sleep, when instead of some horrific setting, he was someplace safe...
The woods.
Naruto laid in the grass. He felt the relaxation. He knew that everything would be okay. No matter what setbacks life threw at him, the world would go on. Nothing was permanent. Everything was in transition. Nobody could REALLY get to him. He felt a squirming against his neck. Like it was a worm. Nope. Nothing would spoil this right now. He ignored the squirming. Naruto felt the squirming move to his mouth. Now, he couldn't will himself awake. Every other time, He'd been able to decide to wake up... but it seemed like that opportunity had now passed.
Then, it wasn't a worm. It was a finger. Then another. Then more until four slimy, squirming digits were locked around his teeth, clutching his lower jaw. He woke up. He looked up. Gyro's hand was inside his brother's mouth. Gyro slowly raised the steel ball and plunge it into Naruto. Naruto thrashed here and there trying to escape Gyro's grip.
"Shhhhhhh," Gyro said,"Just go to sleep."
Gyro then leaves his house and rides off into the night on his horse, Valkyrie.