Summer Heat

When Richard arrived, Asbel didn't think much of the old man from Fender who was enjoying the warm weather on his lawn. He visited the gardens of Lhant Manor often and complained about the heat at times, but never made trouble for anyone. In fact, he visited so often that Asbel hardly noticed him. The morning was easing into the afternoon peacefully, though Richard had to step out briefly when a messenger from Barona arrived.

Asbel was seated in his office, absentmindedly flipping through pages of a book that he wasn't reading while he waited for Richard to return. Even when visiting Lhant, it wasn't uncommon for the king to be called away to deal with something too urgent to wait when a messenger arrived. His departures didn't bother Asbel, since he had enough experience with the sudden emergencies that cropped up with leadership.

Asbel stretched and stifled a yawn, but quickly stopped in mid-yawn and straightened when the door to his office started to open. He became concerned when he saw Richard with a serious expression, already jumping to the worst conclusions. Richard was almost always cheerful when they visited each other; the worst news Asbel could imagine was that the king was being called back to the capital already.

"Is something wrong?" Asbel asked.

"Yes," Richard said gravely. "There's an…incident of sorts happening."

Asbel's shoulders fell. "Do you have to leave already?"

"Actually, it's happening here in Lhant," he said as he nodded toward the window.

Asbel jumped when a pair of pants suddenly hit his window. His face fell and his eyes became wide, while Richard only grimaced as though he had faced such situations before. He stared in confusion until a pair of very old looking underwear was soon to follow, though that particular garment got caught on the windowpane and hung in the middle of his window.

"What is going on?" Asbel asked in horror.

"The better question would be what is coming off," Richard said unhelpfully. "That elderly fellow on your front line started to strip."

Asbel groaned and resisted the temptation to bang his head against his desk. "He's been threatening that for months."

"It appears the threats were not idle."

Asbel rose from his desk and hurried out the door. Frederic was waiting at the front doors of the manor with a towel in hand and offered it to Asbel with a helpful smile. The lord looked at the towel then back to his smiling butler, understanding the implication that Frederic had no intention of doing the dirty work himself.

Asbel took the towel and steeled himself for the worst as he pushed the door open. As it turned out, the worst was much more horrible than he expected. The old man, as naked as he was on the day he was born, was not just sunning himself.

No, he was doing stretches and light exercises. The world got to see every nook and cranny that it absolute did not want to.

"Sir!" Asbel said, with a hand firmly over his eyes. "You can't do this outside of your house!"

"I'm a tourist!" the old man barked back. "I don't have a house here!"

"Nudity isn't legal," Asbel argued.

"It's so fricking hot here in Windor! How is not legal?" he demanded.

Asbel took another step forward and stumbled when his foot blindly came in contact with the stones surrounding the garden. He must have looked like a fool, but he had more problems than just appearances at that moment.

"Sir, there are children in Lhant!" Asbel said pleadingly. "At least take the towel."

Glaring at the young lord, the old man snatched it from his hand. "Where can a man by a thong in this town? Everything else is just too damn hot!"

"I…don't think the general store carries those," Asbel said lamely.

"Stores in Barona do," Richard chimed in helpfully.

Asbel glanced over at his friend questioningly, though Richard's expression was perfectly unfazed. Asbel wasn't quite sure of how casually and perfectly matter-of-fact the king's tone was when sharing that tidbit of information, even if he did have to approve imports and exports. The old man clothed himself in the towel, which while still hinging on indecent exposure, was at least a step in the right direction.

"Backwater town!" the old man huffed as he stomped off with the towel hanging loosely around his hips.

Asbel glanced around the strange debris that littered his yard.

"…Should I ask him if he wants his shoes…?" Asbel asked lamely.

"I imagine he'll come back for them if he really wants them," Richard said. "There's a place where you need to draw the line when it comes to duties you perform for your people."

Richard motioned for Asbel to follow him back inside and gracefully stepped around the discarded shirt on the ground. Asbel trudged after him, averting his gaze from his vandalized window. Frederic was not getting out of dealing with that mess. The butler waited at the door and Asbel pointed toward his window, looking drained of all energy.

"Could you…?" he paused.

"Of course, Lord Asbel," he said as he produced an extra pair of gloves from his pocket.

Asbel closed half of the double doors before letting out a heavy sigh. Richard turned to face him with a sympathetic expression, though Asbel was just thoroughly exasperated with lordship for the day.

"I'll never unsee that," Asbel said as he sank to the floor against the front doors of Lhant Manor.

"At least you prevented it from being any worse," Richard said.

"I'm taking a vacation and going back to Barona with you," Asbel groaned.

"You're always welcomed," Richard smiled.

Richard placed his hand on Asbel's shoulder consolingly, but before he had the chance to respond, Frederic popped back inside. Both men looked up when the older butler flounced in with an oddly cheerful expression. Richard regarded the butler with a look of slight confusion, while Asbel just looked at Frederic warily.

"Lord Asbel, you'll never believe my good fortune," he said cheerfully as he held the underwear up. "These are just my size!"

Frederic strolled to the washroom with his prize as Asbel buried his face in his hands.

Author's Note:

This was inspired by the elderly NPC on Asbel's lawn who says "Maybe these aren't the right clothes… Or maybe I shouldn't WEAR clothes!"

This is another fic request based off of a specific quote; the requested quote was "I'll never unsee that."

It provided a wonderful chance to torture poor Lord Derpy.

I'm currently taking AU prompt requests over on Tumblr. :D My URL is SexuallyFrustratedOrca. It's okay for you to laugh.