Disclaimer: I do not own Sailormoon, Louis Vuitton, or waffles. If I did, I would be too busy rolling about in humongous piles of cash or purchasing untold quantities of Jones Soda (which I also do not own, but quite enjoy) to write fanfiction. As this fanfic is here, I assure you I am doing neither of these things.
Early on in the reign of King Endymion and Queen Serenity, a strange occurrence in the space time continuum appeared, the likes of which has been unparalleled in the recorded histories of time. Due to the circumstances involving poor judgment on part of the Time Guardian, this incident has henceforth been stricken from all records, save one. This is how it all began…
Minako smiled as she stumbled through the halls of the Crystal palace, hiccupping and occasionally tripping over her own feet. She felt good, elated with her recent win, and with the simple giddiness of being almost too intoxicated to stand. Yes, my friends; Sailorvenus, Senshi of love, guardian of Crystal Tokyo… was drunk.
It all started out innocently enough, a few drinks between old friends and comrades. It escalated, however, into a no holds barred game of 12 shot poker, hard liquor tossed down like water. (This was excepting Usagi, as her notoriously low tolerance for alcohol had her passed out beneath a table after two drinks.) The bets kept rising, higher and higher, along with the alcohol to blood ratios. The game was long and heated, eventually leaving Minako and Setsuna to battle it out over a pile of goods that would send even the least prudent gaping.
No one would have expected these two to be the last ones standing, least of all, Minako herself. She almost never drank in excess; rarely more than a glass of wine at meals. Though now that she thought about it, she had been feeling increasingly giddy after dinner, especially when that young serving man poured her drinks… Oh man, she was going to KILL him. The man had been spiking her drinks all this time! No doubt trying to get her drunk enough to sleep with him. She smiled inwardly, silently thanking the hormonal servant for inadvertently raising her alcohol tolerance levels.
Setsuna though… that was a mystery. Minako supposed there wasn't much else for the elusive Senshi of Pluto to do while guarding the Time Gate.
(Minako's assumption was not far from accurate, although in Setsuna's defense, it was easy to get mighty bored guarding the gates of time, and her regular pastime of ordering Louis Vuitton bags from catalogs was wracking up major credit card bills.)
A lot of good it did her, she smiled to herself. She looked down at her pile of loot cradled in one arm, remembering that sweet moment of victory.
Setsuna blinked blearily at her over her cards, the bloodshot veins coordinating rather nicely with her ruby eyes. She smiled and reached behind her with deliberateness of one intoxicated to pull out a bottle of vodka, and two shot glasses. Minako blanched, wondering if she could handle another drink, especially something so high proof. 'But can Setsuna,' she pondered. Setsuna unfastened a chained belt around her waist, and held up her betting chip. Minako could not take her eyes off the glittering golden piece. The Time Key. She glanced up at Setsuna. 'She must be drunker than I thought!' Minako paused, and dug for a moment in her pile of ill gotten goods, until Setsuna's baleful look stopped her. Minako reluctantly produced her henshin wand. It was the only thing she owned that had close to the same value after all.
Alas, Setsuna's overconfidence in her ability to withstand the strong liquor betrayed her, for no sooner had she smilingly tipped the glass back than she fell over, passed out on the floor. It wasn't as easy as that, though. Minako still had to drink hers or forfeit. She drank it quickly, shuddering as the drink hit her stomach like a hammer. She wobbled a moment, and waited for her vision to stop showing her double. Then she slowly counted to ten. Quickly, she slapped Artemis' paw, who lay slumbering on a pillow.
According to he rules, if you lasted ten seconds after the last drink, the loot was yours. It was not uncommon to have someone be the referee for these sorts of matches, as memories were often fuzzy of exactly who won. Tonight, the referee was Artemis. He was rather grouchy about losing the coin toss; in his human form, he could drink most of them under the table any day. But today… Minako was the victor.
Said victor continued her merry way through the halls, humming tunelessly, and looking for someone to share her victory with.
In another room of the palace, Neo Queen Serenity was roused from her sleep by her, for the moment, unwelcome husband.
"Usako.." Endymion murmured, using his old pet name for her.
"Huwaagghhh.." replied the bundle of blankets that, hopefully, contained his wife.
"Usa." He said more insistently, nudging her.
"Go 'way."
"Usako, it's time to get up."
The bundle only curled up tighter. King Endymion sighed. He attempted to pull the blankets off her, but no one was as stubborn when it came to getting out of bed as his wife. It was time to switch tactics.
"Usa… I have waffles…."
Serenity, set to resist, paused in tucking the blanket ends under when she heard this.
"Waffles?" came the muffled reply.
"Mhm," replied Endymion, pleased at her response. "Nice, golden brown waffles with butter and syrup…" he watched as her small nose peeked out of the blankets, sniffing softly.
"Buuuut," he sighed dramatically, "since you won't come out of there, I'll have to eat all of it myself…" he proceeded to pile a plate high with the golden buttered pieces. "But don't worry," he said nonchalantly, "I'm sure the cook could fix you some cold cereal or something.."
A disheveled blonde head popped irately out of the blankets.
"Cereal!"
Endymion smiled and wordlessly handed her the plate. Serenity took it and grouchily made her way to the table, scooting a chair forward as she sat down. Endymion kissed her cheek.
"Morning, sleepyhead."
The blonde muttered something sleepily and poured syrup on what had to be six or more waffles.
Endymion ate quickly, and pushed himself away from the table before Serenity was half done.
"Mamo-chan? Where are you going?" enquired Serenity, mouth full.
"Sorry Sere, I have this, uh… meeting to go to, about what kind effect these new plants might have on the environment, regulations and whatnot…" he said while backing towards the doors.
The queen of Crystal Tokyo watched her husband suspiciously.
"Mamo-chan…"
"Oh, Don'tforgetaboutthemeetingwiththeheadsofstatetodayatsevenokayIloveyoubye!"
He dashed out the doors, Serenity's indignant wail resounding off the walls behind him.