Hello reader, thanks for joining me in my RD world again. Hope you enjoy the read, and please do review. Andy
Rimmer stood in front of the sleeping quarters mirror, he eyed his profile up and down critically. "Holly, have you altered my projection again?" his voice ringing with accusation.
Holly appeared on a nearby vid screen. "What, errr no Arnold I haven't."
Rimmer ran his hand over his waist, turning this way and that inspecting his stomach. "You sure, it seems bigger than last week."
Holly rolled his eyes. "No, that's just all the hologram turkey you ate. That and the 2 bottles of port you polished off."
Rimmer span around on the spot and glared at Holly. "That's a lie mister. I had no more than two or maybe three glasses."
"Sure Arnold, and I'm the Pope. When you and Kryten started doing the conga down the corridor with padded bras on your heads. That was the best bit by far."
Rimmers lip turned into a snarl "What!" he growled.
"What you don't believe me, I've got the video tapes if you like?" suggested Holly cheekily.
Rimmer raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said the security cameras were all on the blink."
"Sorry, forgot to mention that was only in section D."
Rimmer waved his hand at the monitor. "Well whatever, it was New Years Eve, it's about having a good time. Isn't it?"
"If you say so Arnold, but you might have had just a tad to gooda time." Replied Holly.
Rimmer stared at the bald headed middle aged image and raised his left eyebrow. "What makes you say that Holly?"
"Well you better check out the docking bay, there seems to be a ship parked in there and according to the ships log you brought it here."
Rimmer raised both eyebrows this time and blurted out three questions in quick succession. "Ship? Brought back? When?"
Holly could see the worried look in Rimmers face but decided he needed to know. "Don't know, sometime around 3pm Wednesday last week. You landed it, or rather slid it into the bay. Then staggering across the landing bay to the lifts where shouted something back at the craft."
"What?" asked Rimmer anxiously.
"Whats, what?" returned Holly.
"What did I shout?" pressed Rimmer.
"Oh that, sounded like married!" offered Holly.
Rimmer looked confused. "Married, you sure, why would I say that?" he quizzed.
"Would you like to see the video Arnold? I've filed it under classics." Offered Holly.
"Do it." Said Rimmer holding his fist to his mouth. He waited as Holly began to play the short video.
Onscreen a picture of the empty docking bay appeared the clock in the bottom corner indicated it was 2:45pm.
"Fast forward." said Rimmer.
The screen whizzed onwards until a ship came in through the door and slid sparking across the floor, all the time the scene played out at double speed.
"Stop!"
Rimmer moved closer to the screen and watched as the video image of him almost fell out of the craft and staggered across the deck. The video him stopped turned and shouted back at the craft. "MARRIED!"
Rimmer craned to hear. "Play that last 5 seconds again."
"MARRIED TUT!" said the version of him on the screen.
Rimmers face fell. His mind raced searching for memories that might explain what this statement might mean. Nothing came quickly to mind.
The video was replaced by Holly once again, who was still grinning. "Oh dear, seems you have been busy this new year."
"Look I have no idea what this means but I'm not married, got it." Said Rimmer firmly, re-enforcing his own belief that this was another of Listers jokes.
Hollys eyes focused on Rimmers hand. "What about that ring then, explain that one then."
Rimmer slowly brought his left hand into view and sure enough there on this finger was a solid gold band. He held it up in front of his eyes and inspected it.
"Oh smeg!"
"Oh smeg indeed, looks like you have someone waiting at home for you." Teased Holly.
Rimmer touched the small ring, its surface was cold, Rimmers own hologram providing no heat for it to conduct. That cold spread like a feeling of doom as he struggled to come to terms with the news.
Rimmer suddenly realised that such news like this would have been jumped on by Lister, but where is he. Where was Lister, why was he here not gloating at him for being a naughty boy and making fun at his expense?
"Err Holly where is Lister?" asked Rimmer sliding the ringed hand behind his back and out of sight.
"Oh that's an easy one, he, Kryten and the Cat didn't return from your trip."
"What trip?" asked Rimmer still not following the past two days events.
"The one you all went on to that nearby planet. You and the others all decided to carry on the party." Said Holly.
"We did?" said Rimmer rather shocked at the news
"Yes on the nearby colony world called Dice."
"Dice funny name?" mused Rimmer.
"No idea, you smeggers forgot to take old Holly here, so I have no idea what's down there."
Rimmer sat back on the nearby stool and glazed again at the gold band on his finger. He said absently. "I guess we better wait and see if they return."
"You can't, you have to go after them!" said Holly urgently.
"What, why?" snorted Rimmer.
"Because of this." Said Holly putting up a large black region of space on the vid screen.
"Holly That's space. Same danger as last week, same danger as tomorrow." Replied Rimmer sarcastically.
"No it's more than space, its black space."
Rimmer still looked at him blankly
"It's a black whole thingy and it's eating up this sector of space. If my predictions are correct we have less than 48hrs before Red Dwarf and everything on it is sucked over the event horizon."
Rimmer rolled his eyes and put his face in his hands where he muttered. "Why does this sort of thing always happen to me?"
Holly was about to answer but Rimmer cut him off with a stare that said don't you dare.
"I've no option have I?" said Rimmer.
Holly shook his head.
"Right better break out me lucky underpants then, because this husband is coming home." Said Rimmer heading towards his locker.
Next time: Rimmer heads to the Dice world and finds lady luck might have changed for him.