A/n: This is one of the darker stories I've written. I've not experienced anything like this relationship that I'm depicting in the story, but I know someone close to me that has. I'm writing this story in their honor. This first chapter might be triggering, as it deals with abuse, rape, and a connection to said abuser. Please understand that this story has mature and darker themes than anything I've written, so forgive me if it's too angsty. I usually write fluff, and this is the first story I'm posting on my account here. But, I hope you enjoy all the same~
There was nothing she could do to stop it. Somehow, she had made it worse. Blow by blow she shattered more, and threat by threat she knew, there was no getting out of this.
But it's okay. She deserved it, as she always had. It had been ingrained in her mind, from an age so young, one of such innocence and trust that there was no getting her freedom back. She owed her being to this man, this one of such power and life that and rage, and she knew that somehow, it would all be okay. It hurt when he struck; a little piece of her faded with every hit.
But then he would apologise, or buy a necklace that was just too beautiful, and she couldn't refuse. She was sucked back in every damn time.
Daffy hurried down the busy street, her heels wobbling, and her head ducked. She knew that around this time of night was when the less desirable inhabitants of this city were prowling about. Her watch beeped, and she knew that there wasn't much time left. Ray would be home soon, and she had to be there before he was. Dinner had to be on the table by 7:30, and his soda chilled, otherwise there would be hell to pay.
But Daffy didn't mind. She owed him. He paid for her everything, and gave her so much more than she deserved.
The dark city around her was in stark contrast to the lights that shone so brightly. The alleyways were dark, the billboards shining, and Daffy… well, Daffy was just trying to get home in time.
Reaching her building after stumbling only five times on the cursed heels, She made her way to her floor, planning dinner in her mind.
What would Ray be in the mood for? She had to get it exactly right, or else she'd have to cook again. But Daffy didn't mind, because she owed him. That's why she deserved those hits, why she deserved the threats and insults. Because Daffy was nothing compared to Ray, and he had showed her that. She was nothing without him.
She could smell him before she got to the apartment door. The smell of cigarettes and his faint cologne wafted towards her. Ray was home.
Daffy opened the door tentatively, unsure of what to expect. He had only been home before her once, and she had been sorely punished for that.
The bruises on Daffy's wrist ached as she turned the knob. She held back a wince.
"Ray, honey? What are you doing back so early?" She called. There was light music playing, and it sounded like it was coming from the bedroom.
She opened the door to see not Ray, but their bed, covered in rose petals in the shape of a heart. There were several candles lit throughout the room, and the smell of vanilla faintly made her crave for ice cream.
She turned her head, and lips were on hers. Ray.
His arms wrapped around her, and she felt a faint reminiscence of the sparks that had once been there.
"Ray, love," Daffy murmured as she pushed him off, only for a second. "What is all this?"
"It's a promise. I want to marry you someday, not now, but when we're both ready. I haven't been the best to you lately, and this is my way of sealing our bond."
"Oh, Ray," Daffy whispered, a strange feeling that she couldn't identify arousing in her stomach. He deepened the kiss, and hoisted her up on his waist, stumbling back to the bed.
Daffy broke the kiss again. "Thank you, Ray. I appreciate all of this."
"No prob, love." Ray hungrily kissed her, and his hands were rough on her body. Somehow that didn't work with Daffy. She owed him everything, but she wasn't ready to give herself up yet. That last part of herself that was hers to control, the part that only she could give away. Ray wanted it, and yet she couldn't bring herself to give him what he wanted.
"Ray," She pushed him away, for a third time. His grip on her wrist became tighter at her voice. "I… don't want to do this now."
"What do you mean you don't want to do this now? I worked so hard to set this up, do you know how hard it was for me to get off work?"
"You mean chugging another beer at the bar? Yeah, I know." Daffy covered her mouth with her hand and barely concealed a gasp. She hadn't meant to say that, not even to think it. But it was true. She knew that Ray wasn't always at work like he said he was, or that the money he had wasn't alway safe.
But saying something like that to Ray… She was going to be punished. She deserved it.
Daffy could feel his muscles tightening, and his breathing stop.
"What did you just say to me?" He asked, his voice no more than a low snarl.
"I didn't mean to, I promise! It was nothing!" Daffy pleaded. She hated when Ray was like this, but she knew she deserved it.
"No, Daffy. What did you just say to me?" He sneered. Ray had her by the shoulders, and shook her roughly. Daffy's head wobbled with fear, and she kept silent. Her eyes were wide with tears, but she didn't let them fall. Ray hated when she cried. Said it made her weak.
"Daffy, you little slut! Tell me!" Ray had her hair now, and was dragging her to the wall. She made a better target there, as she had learned from countless times before.
A blow to the face.
"I'm sorry, Ray! I'm so sorry!" Daffy sobbed. "I really am! I'll never say anything like that again!"
"Damn right you won't. And since I tried to do it romantically, and you refused, we're going to have to do it the hard way."
A blow to the stomach.
"W-what?" Daffy looked at Ray. Was he really going to go this far?
"Take off your clothes, Daffy." Ray said, an eerie calm suddenly encasing the room.
"No, no, I won't! I'm not ready, Ray!"
A blow to the heart.
"Daffy, take off your clothes. Now. Or I'll rip them off of you." His eyes were dark, grey and ominous. They held want and lust but not love, and that scared Daffy.
Daffy stood up slowly, her cheeks heating up. Piece by piece, she stripped her body of her work clothes, knowing the horrors she was about to face.
"Thats a good girl." Ray sneered. "Now come to me. I'm not gonna bite. Well… only a little."
"Ray," She couldn't bear to look at him, and the way he's changed.
"Daffy," He mocked. "Come, begin. While you're pleasuring me, I might just take a video or two. Just for safe keeping."
Daffy's life as she knew it was over.
The tears in her eyes were stubborn, refusing to fall. Somehow Ray's insults and threats went deeper this time. He really was in a bad mood. She couldn't get the memory of his hands on her body out of her mind. She loved Ray, but she never expected him to go that far. Daffy didn't think she would be able to walk after tonight.
Where was she going to stay? Ray obviously was not going to let her be at the apartment, not without paying for it. And, if she was being honest, Daffy didn't really want to go back. She was scared of Ray now. Things couldn't go back to normal, no matter how much she wanted it to. She loved Ray, but couldn't brace herself to go back to him. She knew she deserved it, everything that had happened tonight, but she was scared. Suddenly the only person that she trusted anymore, was the one she feared.
Daffy walked down the pathway. Central Park at night was beautiful, but in more of a muted way. The trees and periodic lights made for more than enough places to think. Stopping just after a bridge, next to a batch of trees, Daffy settled down on a steel bench. It was freezing, but somehow her sweater, flip flops and leggings would have to be enough. Ray rationed her money use, and even with the leftover change that she got from doing all the grocery shopping, there never would have been enough to get her a hotel room. Not even a motel. Everything she owned, everything she was, came from Ray.
She settled in on the bench, feeling sorry for herself.
How did her life go so downhill, so quickly? One moment she was an English major with serious potential, and the next she was nothing but a girlfriend to a more powerful man.
One minute, she was fine, and the next, she was broken.
Tears spilled down her face, and Daffy couldn't control the whimpers that came from her mouth. She loved Ray, but she was scared of him. She loved him, she owed him, but she couldn't face him.
She wanted to die.
After what seemed like hours, Daffy jumped when she heard a voice.
"Hey there, you okay?"
Daffy looked up into the eyes of a… what was it? Daffy's senses were a bit dulled with exhaustion and pure crying. Was she seeing green? She focused her eyes a bit more and saw, yes, green, but also orange. And black. Daffy held back a gasp at seeing this creature in full, and gulped.
"W-who are you?"
"I'm Michelangelo. Mikey, if you will." He smiled a warm, genuine smile. Daffy inhaled at this. She hadn't seen one of those in a while.
"What do you want from me?"
"Nothing. Just to see if you're okay. You seem a little, well… beat up."
"I'm fine."
"Do you need a hospital?"
"I'm fine." Daffy said.
"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself of that."
"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine." With each word Daffy curled farther in on herself, and her sobs reappeared and became furious. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine."
And it was then Daffy realized she wasn't fine.
"You're not. Do you have somewhere I could take you?"
"I'll see myself home. I'm fine. I'm sorry." She said, still sobbing. "I'm sorry."
"I'll trust you on that, only because I need to get back. What's your name?"
"Daffy."
"Like Daffy Duck. Cool."
"I guess."
"Yeah. I'll see ya around, Daffy." Daffy had a sudden want to stay here forever. She didn't want to go back to Ray. But it was the only place for her to go. She looked up, wanting one last look at this creature, person, thing, friend that she had made, but he was already gone. Daffy was alone in the park, and the only place she had to go was back to hell.