Hello!

To those who have read my other discontinued series: I apologise for stopping it, but I seem to have lost my plotlines and the next chapter. If I ever find it, I will continue the series.

*important* :This is not a sequel to anything, I just found it more relevant to start the short series like this. It's understandable if you haven't quite grasped the story, since I just wanted some angst and started this.

Warnings/things you should take heed: Major angst ( in my opinion ), rash decisions, self-harm, thoughts on death, yaoi, etc. Boy on boy. Narusasu. Some ooc x sasuke

Enjoy!

Sasuke ran, his eyes blind to his surroundings, yet somehow he knew the way to where Naruto was. His heartbeats synced with his footsteps – rapid and swift – and Sasuke could almost feel his heart bursting out of his chest with need.

A desperate need to see Naruto.

A form of joy sparked slightly inside the raven; it was Naruto's birthday, and Sasuke couldn't wait to see him, to give him presents, to hand him the birthday card. After that, he had practically sprinted 5 miles over to the blond's place, and still running.

Although many might've felt exhausted for sprinting so far, the young Uchiha was boosted with more energy as he thought of his friend's reaction to his news. How will Naruto react? With that huge, foxy grin of his, a pat on the back, something … more? The thought caused a hint of colour to appear on the raven's cheeks, adorning his milky pale complexion. He hugged his papers and birthday card closer to his chest, uncaring of how childish and girly he looked.

Panting, the corners of his lips curved upwards when he saw the building that Naruto lived in, and through a particular window where he'd usually briefly see orange clothes strewn across the floor, he was only met with white curtains that prevented him from any view. A little confused, Sasuke wondered if Naruto was sleeping, but shook the thought away as quickly as it had come; even when sleeping, Naruto had never pulled his curtains together.

Curiosity and confusion left Sasuke as soon as he leapt up the stairs, excitement quickly morphing into nervousness. The card he held to his chest he had spent a long time working for. All the money he had spent on buying boxes and boxes of cards, trying to write the right message but not trying to sound too sappy, or too desperate. In the end, with only 8 cards left, he had decided to sum up his feelings in three words.

'I love you.'

Panting softly, he stood by the door, the loud beating of his heart drowning out any other sound that he might've heard. Finally he had figured out his feelings, and had the courage to tell his friend. Finally he was able to be with him.

The love of his life.

Sasuke had decided, that even if no one accepted their relationship, he would do anything just to be with Naruto; his smile, his beautiful azure eyes, his golden blond hair. Sasuke was ready to throw everything else away.

Sasuke knew he had left Naruto standing there, rejected, but he was determined to make it up to him. Sasuke decided that he couldn't just be friends with benefits anymore; it just wasn't enough.

Surely this will start out to be a blossoming relationship, and the young Uchiha would finally have love instead of only lust.

He lifted his hand to knock, but realised that Naruto wouldn't have it that way; he would want Sasuke to treat his apartment as his own. Smiling softly to himself, he opened the door –

– lifted his dark yet shining eyes –

– to find Naruto's body on top of a woman's –

– and their lips pressed tightly together in a passionate kiss. At first, Sasuke didn't know what to make of it. Everything that had happened ever since Naruto had confessed his feelings flashed into his mind all at once. Was it true? Was Naruto really playing with him after all?

Was Orochimaru telling the truth after all this time?

Had his heart … led him the wrong way?

The image burned into his mind, etched into his heart, entwined in his soul. It seemed as if Naruto still hadn't noticed, being the biggest idiot he was. What had Sasuke done wrong? His heart, beating so rapidly and lively before, felt like it could burst any moment with the sudden pain that stabbed it; a million small pricks to Sasuke's body, dangerous yet invisible to the naked eye.

With his mind completely shocked, his body reacted with the same emotion. He dropped his papers, along with the card, which he had put everything into. At the sound of the rustling of papers, Naruto's head turned around, not fully registering what was happening.

"Ah … I just came … uh … to …your … bir …" Sasuke's eyes stared at anything but Naruto's face, a smile plastered on his own, a smile so fake that even a two year old could see through it. His eyes looked wet, but he forced his tears down; better not show weakness in the enemy territory. Better not show weakness to the one who made you cry. Sasuke's eyes darted around, and accidently lifted to meet Naruto's. At that, his smile faded, horror showing through his onyx eyes, and his expression twisted up in pure agony. "…Sorry."

The raven backed away slowly before twisting around and stumbling through the door, just missing Naruto's terrified expression by a few milliseconds, not bothering to listen to Naruto's explanations. The image was enough, it was more than enough. He couldn't bear to see it anymore.

Sasuke ran and ran, almost as fast as how he had before. Everything around him was a blur now, another world to him. He just didn't care anymore. His energy had been spent running to Naruto's house, but the pain kept him going. He had promised to never leave my side. He promised to never leave me alone. Thoughts akin to those spilled onto his mind, and memories of both Naruto and himself entered his consciousness. Sasuke tried to will it away by shutting his eyes, but each time he did, the image of Naruto on top of someone else would scorch into his memory.

It was a mistake, letting that blond in. It was a mistake letting down his walls that he had so cautiously put up. Sasuke had been so stupid. So stupid as to fall for his smile, his genuine appearance. Was Naruto really like all the other men, who would do anything to break hearts? Gritting his teeth, Sasuke turned to an alleyway and collapsed, unaware of his skinned knees and twisted ankle. Only then would he let tears fall, the first since That incident with his family. Funny, since Naruto had promised to not let anyone or anything make Sasuke cry ever again, yet he was the one behind the Uchiha's tears. The promises, the memories, the friendship, the sort of love they had … was it all just one big lie?

Sasuke had done everything for Naruto. Naruto was his first for everything; his first true friend, his first kiss, first almost lover, first to take his virginity … Sasuke's first ever love. Sasuke had lied to his guardian, wagged school, threw away his friends, and did everything in which he had vowed never to do, just to be with Naruto.

It was all a waste.

The raven could feel the raw pain eating away at him. Was this what he deserved for choosing Naruto over everything else?

Choked sobs escaped from dry, bleeding lips, and Sasuke huddled into the corner, hugging his knees to his chest. What did he do to deserve all these memories, and all this pain?

We … it's not like we were going out or anything. Sasuke laughed quietly and bitterly. They were never a true couple; after all, Sasuke needed Naruto to relieve his pain, and Naruto needed Sasuke to relieve his sexual frustration. It used to work. They used to always do it together. It used to be more meaningless than this. We were never together.

The thought burned deep into his mind. What was he getting all upset for? Naruto had found someone; shouldn't he be happy? After all, he was the one who left Naruto standing there without a real answer because of his own fear. Love ... Sasuke yearned it, yet didn't want to feel it because of how much pain it could cause. He thought that if he fell for Naruto, then everything would be perfect. He thought he would live a perfect life, even without everything else. He would be with Naruto at the cost of everything else.

I had vowed never to love again.

That was his upmost biggest vow, and he had broken it. Sasuke had fallen so hard, and now the blow was more painful than ever. Naruto never bothered to pick him up, just walked away like he was nothing.

Maybe he was nothing.

The world wouldn't notice if there was one person gone, right?

Biting his split lip, Sasuke withdrew a small pocketknife, which he had kept for emergencies like this. Sasuke had thought that he would never need to use it again. Sasuke had believed it.

He had believed in Naruto.

He trusted his heart so much that he had forgot reason, forgot his place in this world.

He wasn't born to love, to have good memories. He was born to feel pain, a pathetic example to the whole world on how pitiful and worthless one can be. A wretched specimen to make others feel better about themselves.

Sasuke hated himself. Hated himself so much for being so idiotic, so lovesick. Hated himself for always being so needy and forlorn. Hated himself for rejecting love, yet welcomed it with open arms the moment somebody would open themselves to him.

Yes, a wretched example indeed.

Sasuke had promised not to ever hurt himself again, but who would care? After all, promises were made to be broken, in Sasuke's case. His whole life was filled with broken promises to begin with.

Staring intensely onto his wrist, marred with already so many other scars, he dug the knife down deeply, feeling a new sort of comforting pain enter him. It made him feel less mental pain, and Sasuke almost smiled contently at that. Yes, this was the pain he yearned for. This was the pain he deserved. He felt warm liquid trickle down his upper arm down his elbow, licking his dry lips before digging in again and slitting it across his wrist, feeling the blood drip onto the dirty cement floor. Dig, slit, trickle, drip. Dig, slit, trickle, drip. He had known this method for so long his body reacted on its own. After some of his internal pain faded away, he opened his wet eyes that he didn't know he had shut. Now that his mind was a little into place again, he cursed, realising that if anyone found him on the street, he would be taken to hospital. Better to die than be rescued.

Better to die alone than around those who had deceived and left him.

Even though he didn't want to die alone. Even though he hated the very thought of loneliness. Sasuke wanted to die so badly, so badly that he would never feel pain again.

I want to die. I hate this life so much. It's all Naruto's fault. It was him that made me feel like this.

Sasuke had wanted someone else to blame so that he wouldn't feel this useless, but not matter what, Sasuke always knew that all the blame rested on him. It was always his fault, losing so many things. Losing Naruto.

With a groan, he bandaged his wrists. Back then, he had thought that bringing bandages would help those around him; he never imagined that he would need it for himself. He had believed in Naruto so badly: his words, his promises, his smile. Sasuke had fallen so hard. He didn't want to get back up again; didn't want to risk falling in love again, or just love someone; nothing was worth getting thrown back down, forced back down. Sasuke was fated to stay on the ground, like a snake, and never be able to soar in the skies, envying all who did.

After treating to himself much to his reluctance, Sasuke drew up his knees again, hugging it close to his chest as he stared blankly at the floor. He was so preoccupied in staring that he didn't see five figures looming over him.

"Hey, hotstuff, wanna play?" A man, clearly the leader, that was wearing a sleeveless shirt and a sort of crazed look in his grey eyes, spoke to Sasuke with a sadistic smile. Snapping out of his daydream, Sasuke turned and glared.

"Go away."

"Aw, your boyfriend dump you?" Grey Eyes crouched down so closely that Sasuke could smell the alcohol in his breath. Scrunching his nose in disgust, he turned away.

"I'm not a girl." Sasuke just wanted to make that clear, even though he was sure he didn't look like one.

"We know, hotstuff, we know." Grey Eyes motioned the other four to stand over the Uchiha and grab him if needed. Sasuke, still too hurt from the incident, didn't notice.

Slowly, Grey Eyes grabbed Sasuke's shoulders and slowly pushed him down on the dark cement floor. The raven struggled and thrashed, accidently kicking Grey Eyes in the face. Angered, he motioned his minions to catch hold of him while he started ripping off Sasuke's clothes.

"Let go of me." Fear started creeping into the raven's emotions as he suddenly registered the strange look in Grey Eye's eyes, and Sasuke knew immediately that Grey Eyes wouldn't let him go even if Sasuke were to blow himself up to pieces. Nevertheless, the young raven continued to struggle. With a growl, Grey Eyes grabbed Sasuke's midnight black hair and forced his face close to his own.

"I'm going to give you one last chance to play nice with you as long as you play nice with me." Grey eyes glared into Sasuke's own. After that, Grey Eyes relaxed and pulled Sasuke to him, cupping the pale cheek with one hand, thumb running along the tear stains. Sasuke did everything he could to not bite off the other man's thumb.

"Baby, you want to forget him, don't you?" Grey eyes bore into his own, making him entranced. "You want the pain to go away."

Sasuke's heart thumped loudly yet painfully in his chest. The idea was so tempting. Yes, he had wanted the pain to go away so badly.

"You don't want to feel like trash anymore, do you? You want to feel loved. You want to feel special." Sasuke's breath caught in his throat. Just looking into those eyes, it seemed as if Grey Eyes knew everything that had happened to him, and had the urge to make it feel better.

Sasuke wanted so bad to feel better.

To forget about the Sunshine that he lost. But how could you lose something when it was never yours?

"I'm giving you a chance. I'll make your pain go away. You'll feel nothing but pleasure. Just one chance to make it go away." No, don't listen to him. You know better than that. Sasuke's heart urged him to stop, beating wildly-despite its wounds-in order to get the raven's attention. Sasuke ignored it; after all, his heart had led him into chaos, into this world of blinding pain. He needed someone to help him take it away.

No, never again am I going to listen to you, you filthy, wretched heart.

"Only once with you. You'll feel loved." Absolutely lost in those words, Sasuke nodded dazedly, cupping Grey Eyes' face and pressing their lips together. Almost as soon as their lips touched, Sasuke could feel the other's tongue slip into his warm cavern. Sasuke invited it; let the revolting tongue explore the inside of his mouth. Right now, he would do anything to make this deep pain go away.

After the passionate kiss of trying to shove their tongues down each other's throats, they pulled away. Sasuke stared dazedly, a stupefied smile on his face. He pulled Grey Eyes to him, licking a trail from Grey Eyes' shoulder up to his ear, slowly rolling his hips down to Grey Eyes' lap.

"Take me." He breathed huskily in Grey Eyes' ear.

Take my pain away.

The sun peeked over at the horizon, making an orange outline over the tall buildings of the huge city. Dawn approached the streets of the currently deserted land.

Sasuke opened his eyes, pushing himself up only to fall back down with a small cry. His whole body was sore and cold from staying the night out on the streets. His lip was cut, and his whole being felt heavy. Coughing slightly, he forced himself to get up despite the pain, and leaned towards the wall of the deserted alleyway.

Grey Eyes and his crew had each took turns to pound into Sasuke. They had truly made him feel special, had made him feel as if his body was wanted. Sometimes they would even fight over whom to get to touch Sasuke's pale body first. Of course they hadn't been gentle with him, not even stretching his entrance or a word of warning before pushing themselves into him. It didn't matter though; the physical pain they gave him was enough to drive his other pain away at that time.

Sasuke's body was covered with bruises, cuts and scrapes from continuously getting taken on the hard, rough floor. His clothes were tattered, his lips bruised and cut, and his whole body dirty in every way possible. He spat onto the pavement, shuddering with disgust. How many times had they come in his mouth? Came all over his body? Came inside him? He could feel their sticky cum oozing out of his damaged entrance, along with some blood. They hadn't even cared that he had bled; it didn't matter, because it would be another thing that could distract him. They were rough on him, had thrust into him ruthlessly.

Naruto was always gentle with him.

The very thought had icy daggers pierce at his heart, and he gasped at the shock and pain. Anything Naruto did to him, for him, had pain come back at him tenfold. Everything horrible that he had experienced in his life bundled up together wasn't as painful as this.

Not even his family's death.

Naruto had cared for Sasuke, treated him with more caution than one would treat a treasure, more than what an archaeologist would treat his newfound artefact. His butterfly kisses, feathery touches, as gentle as it may be, made Sasuke's body go on fire, a fire that couldn't be quenched.

Naruto … the only one who had treated Sasuke right … was it just an act of sympathy?

Was he just a toy to be played?

Wincing, Sasuke shifted and stared at his arms, bandages stained with a reddish brown. Grey Eyes hadn't even bothered to take care of his arms. He had clutched them so tightly that their wounds opened up again. His wrists had bled along with his entrance when they had steadily fucked him senseless. After they had their fun, they had cleaned themselves up and left him lying there.

Sasuke should've known that he was just a temporary toy to entertain its owner while it had nothing important to do. After that, he would be left there to rot. Sasuke wanted to be loved, wanted to feel as if he had a right to live.

A thought came in his mind.

Yes. He would need Sasuke. He would want Sasuke. He would take Sasuke. He would make Sasuke feel special. He would ease Sasuke's pain away.

With a quiet grunt, Sasuke forced himself to get up, and started hobbling, his heart once again urging him to stop in his tracks, to turn around, and run to Naruto for help.

Stop it.

His body almost gave in, his skinned knees weak, wanting so badly to approach Naruto again, to say a proper Happy Birthday he never got to say the day before. Never got to celebrate his 21st birthday, the most important one. Never got to properly confess his feelings.

It doesn't matter. He has someone much more attractive an important to celebrate it with. Sasuke thought back to the beautiful girl with flowing green hair and mysterious hazel eyes. The one who stared into his soul the moment he was found out.

Her red lips pulled into a wide smirk at seeing his expression.

He collapsed, this time scraping the palms of his hands and his already skinned knees, but forced himself back up despite the sharp pain down his back. No more turning back now. No more living in lies. He was sick of this fake world. Sasuke knew now, more than anyone, that his world is full of pain and tragic endings. Not love or happiness, as everyone believed it consisted of. The young Uchiha's heart so desperate to have the pain gone, yet stubborn enough to try to convince his body to turn around, to stop walking to His house.

Orochimaru's house.

There is going to be a chapter two. I'm not sure how many chapters there are, but it's going to be short.

Should I write a prequel of their relationship before this stage? If so, please write it on review. If some people do want a prequel, I should create a poll.

Thank you for reading.