Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom. At least last time I checked….
Phantom Gets some Felix
A black haired boy with glasses walked awkwardly down the street towards the Opera Populaire, looking out of place in his wizard robes. 'Holey Moley! Where in the world am I?' he thought, 'The last thing I remember I was turning back time to study for that Charms test next period that Hermione told me to study for three days ago…… Oh Well!' As he walked around the opera house he tripped over something and his glasses fell to the ground breaking.
"Not again!" cried the boy. "I really do need to get another pair of glasses." He said picking up the ones he had for most of his life, a fact which was obvious with one glance at them despite all the effort that Hermione had put into repairing them. "Or perhaps a nice pair of contacts." He turned around to see what it was that had made his glasses fly to the ground in the first place. What he found was a disheveled man dressed all in black wearing a mask. This what not what he found odd about the man –for he was probally to stupid to even notice what the man looked like-. The only thing he was paying attention to was the fact that the man was crying. And in Harry Potter's Book of Stupid Rules –for he had many- rule number 239.4 was: 'Dudes don't cry.' "Woah," he said "You are in violation –Hermione taught me that word- of rule number 239.4 in my book of stupid rules." The man however appeared not to notice him, and kept on crying and muttering something about a girl named Christine. Harry frowned something was wrong with this guy. "Hello?" he said shaking the man by his shoulders, "Are you ok?"
"YES!" screamed the man, his voice dripping with sarcasm "The girl of my dreams just ran off with some idiot after all I've done for her, and now I'm sitting on the street crying! I'm feeling GREAT!"
"Oh" said Harry, "Just making sure you were all right." And started to walk away. "Wait a minute," said Harry who looked quite confused. A minute later he said "You don't look ok, are you sure you're alright? Are you sure you're not in denial –Hermione taught me that word to you know!- or something?" The man started to cry again. "Ah ha!" said Harry proud of himself for being right for once. "I knew it! I knew you weren't fine!" for a reason that confused Harry greatly this only made the man even more upset. Suddenly he had an idea. This happened so rarely that he got quite exited when he realized what had happened. So exited in fact that he failed to realize that his idea went against rule 598 in Hermione Granger's book of things you should never do –which Hermione had given him for his birthday that year-. Harry quickly fished a small bottle of potion out of his pocket, his last bottle of Felix Felicis. Which he promptly handed over to a complete stranger –in clear violation of rule 598-.
"What's this?" asked the man. At that moment Harry Potter disappeared leaving the man alone on the street.
Erik looked at the small bottle of liquid in his hand. 'It's probally poisin.' He thought. 'That boy DID remind me of Raoul, though not as deplorable of course. What do I care if it's poisin? If Christine loves that insufferable mass of gelatin then life really isn't worth living." He thought grimly, and drunk the bottle in one gulp. Suddnly he felt like he could do anything. 'Good stuff.' He thought, as he got up and started wandering down the street only half knowing where he was going. He found himself at the De Changy estates and confidently opened the gate, which some one seemed to have "forgotten" to lock. He then strode up the garden path and walked through the front door. When investigating a maid, who for some reason seemed happy to give a masked stranger information, he found that –to his luck- Raoul was taking an afternoon nap –and therefore an easy target-. Then the maid quite happily gave him directions to Raoul's room, and told him not to worry for Raoul was a very sound sleeper. It turns out that he did not need the maid's instructions, he just followed the sound of the snores. Just as he was wondering where Christine was a man in servents clothes walked up to him.
"The Viscountess is in the library." He said, and then he returned to his polishing. 'I could get used to this' thought Erik, continuing to follow the earsplitting noise up the stairs. Before he could see Cristine, he reasoned he had to dispose of the simple minded baffoon. When he finally reached the room from which the racket was coming from he thought he had the wrong one. This was because the figure in the bed was wearing blue curlers in their hair. 'He must have lost his usual pink ones.' Erik thought. Taking out his trusty Punjab Lasso, –which he luckily had in his right pocket- he put it around the hatefull baboon's neck. The rhythm of the snores didn't even falter 'He really is a deep sleeper.' thought Erik with an evil grin on his face. He tightened the noose until he heard the crack which meant. "Yes!" he cried in trihumph "The world is finally purged of brainless orangotangs! After doing a brief victory dance, Erik walked to the doorway intent on going to the library to find Christine when he stopped and realized that he had no idea where the library was. Just as he was wishing some maid would come and tell him where the library was, a maid walked up to him and told him where the library was. She then walked past him into the room and started making the bed, not noticing the corpse inside of it.
When he walking into the library he found Christine sitting on an armchair reading How to choose between a loathsome maggot and a musical genius. Christine looked up from he book, and seeing him got up.
"You know what Erik. I've been thinking, and I love you." With this she walked over where he was standing and started kissing him. Hardly daring to believe his luck he made a mental note to give the dark-haired boy a place of honor in his new world order. He would however never get the chance as, due to a spot of bad luck Harry potter was killed by Lord Voldemort.
AN: I hate Raoul. Now, if you please. REVIEW! Or I will be sad. And you don't want that do you? Well? DO YOU? You do? Very well, review or I will not be sad. How's that? And yes, I am crazy.