Perry's Day Off

A 1st person story

By perrytheplatypus13

Credit to Dan Pomnevire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh for creating Phineas and Ferb. I do not own it. Enjoy!

I woke up, hearing the sound of my watch ringing. I scanned the room, just to make sure the family was out of sight. I stood up, put on my fedora, and jumped down the hatch on the wall, making sure it closed after me. I went through a series of pipes, and landed on my red chair. "Good Morning, Agent P," my boss, Major Monogram said. "Today, Dr. Doofenshmirtz was seen with stacks of cans. Go check it out." I saluted, and I put on my jetpack, and flew out the hatch on the ceiling, towards DEI.

Soon, I landed on the all-to-familiar building of my nemisis. Unsurprisingly, a cage dropped off the ceiling and landed over me. "Ah, Perry the Platypus," My nemesis said. "Your presence in completely.. surprising. And by surprising, I mean unsurprising. Anyway, I'm pretty sure you or Major M saw the huge stack of cans on the floor. Well, that is the components of my new, Can-Shooter-To-Take-Over-The-Tri-State-Area-Inator!" I rolled my eyes. What could be dumber than this? "Now, time for my backstory. Once a time ago, I was in Gimmulstump with my father. Every day, while I was standing outside as our lawn gnome, my goody two shoes brother would come outside, and eat my favorite food, Doonkleberries in a Can, in front of me for 10 years STRAIGHT until I moved away! Now, I will take revenge on him, by shooting hundreds of cans at him until he gives the mayor job to me! And there is NOTHING you can do about it!"

"You know why? Because I built the Bathroom-Inator! This one," He grabbed the handheld inator from his lab coat. "Will make any person need to use the bathroom really bad, And I am going to use it on you, Perry the Platypus!"

I quickly grabbed a wrench from my hat and pried the lock open. I jumped out, dodging all the laser beams Doof shot at me. "You will never get away, Perry the Platypus!" He said. I kept dodging. I moved to the side, and slipped on a banana peel, falling into the laser beam right in front of me.

"Got him," Doof said. "Now I can finally actually take over the Tri-State area!" I woke up with a start. "Now, let's see if the inator has worked." Doof said as he laughed maniacally. I stood up, crossing my legs in the process. "Oh man," I thought. "I really got to go." "Haha!" Doof said. "Look how funny he looks, dancing around and making this really strange face! Anyway, now it is my time! I can finally take over the Tri-State area without Perry getting in the way!" Doof said. I tried to run to Doof, but the bathroom-inator really did what it said. I was doomed.

Suddenly, I thought of an idea. It was my only hope. I would have to destroy Doof's inator, without pressing the self-destruct button.

I ran towards the outlet where the inator was plugged in. "Now, Perry the Platypus, with you "subdued", I can now take-" Doof stopped short. "Perry the Platypus, what are you doing?" I pulled the inlet out of the outlet. "You think that can stop me? I can just plug it back in," Doof said as he ran towards me. I grabbed scissors, ready to cut the wire. "NOOO! Not that!" Doof said fearfully. Suddenly, I fell to to the ground. I couldn't hold it anymore. "Haha! You are too weak to do anything!" Doof said. "You sure?" I thought. When you gotta go, you gotta go. And if Doof won't let me, then he suffers the consequence.

"Now, Perry the Platypus," Doof said. It is time for me to rule the Trii-State area!" I lay there, relieving myself on the ground.

After I was done, I stood up and ran silently towards Doof, kicking him in the back. "Ow! Who did that?" He said as he turned around in horror. "Wait, Perry the Platypus, you are okay? He stared at the puddle in the corner of the room where I was. "Perry, you peed on my floor? Did you even get trained at the agency? I may have to call the agency for this," Doof said as he picked up his phone.

He dialed the number (I didn't even know he knew it) and put it to his ear. Major Monogram picked up. "Hello?" He said. "Hi," replied Doofenshmirtz.

"What do you want, Doofenshmirtz?"

"I'd like to file a complaint against Perry."

"And that is.."

"Disrespect to property."

"In what way?"

"He peed on my floor."

"Well, in that case, send him over right away."

"Bye."

"Goodbye, Doofenshmirtz."

Doof hung up. "I just talked with Major Monogram. He wants you to see him." I stood up, gave Doofenshmirtz a mad stare, leaped off the balcony, and landed in my platypus flying car. I headed towards the O.W.C.A. "I'm gonna need my lawyer for this," I thought, as I landed in the OWCA parking lot.

I went in the front doors, up the elevator to the 3rd floor, and walked in room MM. "Perry, you should be ashamed of yourself," Major Monogram said as I sat down. "You really think of peeing on Doof's floor? I thought Phineas house trained you." I nodded, with my awkward face on. "I'm taking this to court. Hope you have a good lawyer." He quickly filled out a contract, and placed it in front of me. "Sign here, and put your lawyer's name on here." I did as he instructed, and put the name "Bilbo Vheshez" on the line titled "Lawyer's name." The date for the jury was the next day at 11:00 sharp.

The next day, I woke up to the sound of Linda doing dishes. I looked at my watch. It read 10:47. "I'm late!" I thought. I got up, silently put on my best dress clothes, and headed to the court.

I got in the main doors the second it turned 11:00. I got up to the front seat with Doof. I saw Biblo and some other guy on the stands to testify. "Order, order in the court," the Judge said. "My name is Judge Goien. Today the court is in for a mishap between an evil scientist named Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and a secret agent platypus named Agent P. His full name cannot be said because of identity reasons. Here is Doofensmirtz's lawyer, Neil Nionman, and Agent P's lawyer, Biblo Vheshez. Heinz, please stand and give your reasoning. You have a minute."

"Well, Judge," Doof said. "Agent P did cause damage to my property, by urinating on my lab floor, causing damage to my property." The judge replied, "Nionman, show the evidence." Neil reached into his back pocket and pulled out a photo. "This photo," Nionman said, "is proof that Agent P urinated on Dr Doofenshmirtz's lab floor." The judge said, "good evidence. Now we move on to Agent P's side. Since he cannot speak, he will sign in ASL and our translator will translate his 1 minute speaking, starting now." I started signing. "Well, Judge," the translator said, "today I did have an incident in Dr Doofenshmirtz's lab. But this was his fault. This morning, he invented a machine that takes any person's urine and multiplies it by 10. In my case, I tripped and landed in the beam. Since I have such a small bladder, the urine started backing up, and I couldn't hold it any longer." The judge said, "now to Biblo Vheshez, Agent P's lawyer. "What Agent P said was true," Vheshez said. "My evidence is the machine that Doof invented. Let me demonstrate." He aimed the machine at a small sample container fillers with urine. He shot it, and immediately multiplied 10x its amount. "There. That is all I have to say." Vheshez said.

The judge stood up. "That was surely an interesting case," he said. "We will let the jury decide on the verdict." He glanced at the clock, which read 11:27. "The next meeting will be at 2:20 this afternoon. The meeting is now adjourned." Everyone filed out of the room. When I got out, I jumped into my cormette, and got out the exit onto the freeway.

I zoomed on the highway, and got off the exit towards a few fast food places, and I chose Harlem's. I parked and went into the restaurant, and got to the cashier. Fortunately, their was a sign on the wall that said, "ASL friendly. We all know sign." I started signing towards the cashier, and she wrote it down. "$4.76," she signed to me. I paid her. She rushed off into the kitchen and quickly returned with my meal.

I sat down at an open booth and checked that she got everything. A single patty cheeseburger with a small fry and a medium root beer. I ate it all, and checked my watch. It was 12:46. I threw my bag in the trash and headed towards the men's room.

After I came out, I went outside, and hopped in my car. I pulled out and headed towards the local market.

I soon arrived there and pulled into a prime spot right next to the entrance. I got out and headed towards the store. I did need a few things. I grabbed a basket and headed in.

I returned an hour later. I checked my watch. It was 2:01. I loaded my groceries and headed back towards the court.

I headed in the doors at 2:17. I sat in the chair next to Doofenshmirtz. The judge started the meeting. "Welcome back to the court. The jury and I have concluded that Agent P is not guilty for this "mishap". The court is now adjourned."

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