The Italian Job SHINIGAMI Remix
By: Numa Luma
Misa Misa's Room
Misa Misa: Wow! This movie is awesome!
Ryuk: Yes it is interesting. What is it called?
Misa: The Italian Job.
Ryuk: WOW they can buy a LOT of APPLES with that gold!!!!!
Misa: Why would you buy the individual apples when you can buy the trees!
Ryuk: The trees…
Misa: Ya! If you buy the whole tree you can grow your own apples and never run out!
Ryuk: NEVER RUN OUT!
Misa: Ya and you get a bunch of different trees for all the different flavors.
Ryuk: DIFFERENT FLAVORS!!!!
Misa: Yep! There are red apples which are sweet, green ones which are kind of sour, yellow one which are very sweet, big ones, small ones, and they are all juicy!
Ryuk: JUICY!!!!!!
Misa: Yep!
Ryuk: Misa I have to go talk to Light.
Misa: Ok! Tell him I LOVE him!!!!
Ryuk: sure…
Ryuk leaves
Light's Office
Light: Ryuk what are you doing here you are supposed to be possessing Misa's notebook.
Ryuk: I want you to buy me one of every kind of apple tree. PLEASEEEE!
Light: No…
Ryuk: Why not!
Light: Because it will look suspicious if I buy them! Near and Mello already know about Shinigami and the notebook. What if they knew that shinigami love apples! Wouldn't they suspect me if they find out I've been purchasing large amounts of apple trees!
Ryuk: YOU ARE SO MEAN! JUST REMEMBER THAT WHEN IT'S YOUR TIME TO DIE IM THE ONE WHO WILL WRIGHT YOUR NAME IN A DEATH NOTE! I WILL GET REVENGE!
Ryuk leaves
Light: Drama Queen!
Shinigami Realm
Ryuk: Hey Shidoh!
Shidoh: Oh… hi Ryuk.
Ryuk: Shidoh do you want all the apples you can get?
Shidoh: No, I want all the chocolate I can get!
Ryuk: Oh…ok well I got a plan so we can get all the chocolate and apples in the world!
Shidoh: Ok! What's your plan called?
Ryuk: The Italian Job!
Shidoh: Isn't that a movie?
Ryuk: Well ya … but I got the idea from watching the movie!
Shidoh: Well what's the plan?
Ryuk: Ok first we have to get a ton of money! To do that we can write the names of everyone who works in the toy business and take their money.
Shidoh interrupts
Shidoh: Why the toy people?
Ryuk: Because they make a lot of money! They overprice everything.
Shidoh: Oh ok.
Ryuk: Where was I…OH ya after we take there money we will buy all the apple trees and chocolate in the world!!!! And the best thing is that the police will think Kira killed all of the toy people and took all the chocolate and apples!
Shidoh: Why is that so great?
Ryuk: Let's say Kira made me mad.
Shidoh: Ok let's do it!
Ryuk and Shidoh go out and carry on with their plan.
SPK Headquarters
Near: NOOOOOO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPINING!
Lidner: What is it???
Near: Kira killed everyone associated with building toys!
Lidner: Oh…
Near: Kira Crossed the line! First L and now this! He must know my obsession! I must get in contact with Mello!
Lidner: I tell him as soon as I see him.
Mello's Hideout
Mello: About time you got back!
Matt: Sorry I looked everywhere for your chocolate…
Mello: Well where is it?
Matt: About that….ummm
Mello: Matt where is my CHOCOLATE?
Matt: ummm….ok the chocolate is gone.
Mello: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CHOCOLATE IS GONE!
Matt: Someone bought all the chocolate in the whole world.
Mello: What?
Matt: There is no more chocolate.
Mello: Stop Joking! How could all the chocolate be gone?
Matt: I'm not joking. Someone bought all the chocolate and apple trees in the world at the same time the toy makers died.
Mello: ……NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Matt: Are you okay?
Mello: AM I OKAY? AM I OKAY! IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY!
Matt: I'll go back to watching the police.
Mello: FORGET THAT! WE ARE GOING TO GO SEE NEAR AND GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS!
Mello and Matt leave. Matt is very afraid right now!
SPK Headquarters
Near: Mello have you heard?
Mello: Ya! Some monster took all the chocolate!
Near: Not only that all the toy makers died of heart attacks!
Mello: Then that means
Mello & Near: IT WAS KIRA!
Near: He is trying to drive us insane!
Mello: I'm going to murder him! Near I will take you up on your offer.
Near: What?
Mello: I agree to work with you so that we can find Kira and get all the chocolate back!
Near: Ok! Let's get to work. KIRA MUST SUFFER A PUNISHMENT WORSE THAN DEATH!
Light's Office
Light: That stupid shinigami! He killed millions of innocents and took all the chocolate and apples. That must mean he got help from that other shinigami.
Light picks up his cell phone and calls Misa.
Misa: Hello?
Light: Misa where is Ryuk?
Misa: Hi Light! Why don't you come home?
Light Interrupts
Light: MISA NOT NOW I HAVE TO SPEAK TO RYUK!
Misa: I haven't seen him in a while.
Light hangs up.
Shinigami Realm
Ryuk: This is the life!
Shidoh: You bet it is! I have my own chocolate factory!
Ryuk: ummm Shidoh how do you get your chocolate factory working???
Shidoh: I have little short people with orange skin and green hair operating it.
Ryuk: Oh. Well I have to go back to the human world so make sure nobody touches my apple paradise!
Shidoh: Ok!
Ryuk leaves and goes back to see what Light is doing and ends up getting a huge lecture and laughs at Light. Meanwhile Near and Mello are 99.9 positive that Light is L and that L is Kira. So they are on a plane to go knock Light's Lights out! Of course they are wearing masks, but do to their rush they are wearing Halloween masks. Mello is wearing a Plankton mask and Near is wearing Squidward mask.
Light's Office
Someone is knocking at the door.
Light: Who is it?
???: It's the love of your life!
Light: Oh come on in Misa.
Light's mind: This is great now I can give up the notebook and give it to Misa and she can give it back to me in a few months until this situation clears up. She can also continue kill criminals so that will make look even more innocent.
Someone bangs on the door and Misa goes to open it.
Light: Misa Nooo!
Misa: Uhhh who are you to? It's not Halloween.
Near and Mello: Light Yagami! We know you are KIRA!
Light: What are you talking about?
Mello: I'm going to kill you!
Near: You monster!
Light: What are you talking about?
Light's mind: Oh CRAP! How am I supposed to get out of this one? I know I can rip their masks off and have Misa tell me their names! Oh wait I don't have a death note here.
Ryuk: HAHAHA looks like you're in a jam Light.
Light: Are you Mello and Near?
Mello: Yes.
Light: Then why are you wearing kid masks?
Near: So you can't see our faces! We know you are Kira and she is the second Kira!
Light: Are you alone?
Mello: Of course we are alone! This isn't about justice anymore….it's personal!
Light: Misa move! Ryuk if you remove there masks I promise you will be very entertained!
Misa moves away from Mello and Near.
Ryuk: I guess its okay since time is almost up.
Ryuk removes their masks and reveals himself to them.
Near: So that is a shinigami.
Mello: That proves it you are Kira!
Light:
SO YOU ARE MELLO AND NEAR!
Near: So you admit it you are Kira!
Light: Yes I am and Ryuk is the one who took all your chocolate!
Mello: WHY?
Ryuk: This would've never happened if Light bought me apple trees.
Mello: SO IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Mello attacks Light and Misa screams and tries to find a death note to write their names.
Near: Mello let me have a turn!
Ryuk: Oh Light… guess what time it is!
Light: Ryuk I'm busy trying to kill him what do you want!
Ryuk: I can write something down you know!
They all stop and stare at Ryuk. Ryuk looks at all of them and then wrights something in his death note. Ryuk shows them.
Light: Noooo!
Light and Misa have a heart attack. Light and Misa can't enter heaven or hell so they transform into shinigami but they decide that their punishment is a miracle and they can rule the world as shinigami.
Near: So what do we do now?
Mello: I don't know about you but I'm going to start a chocolate factory.
Near: I guess I will rebuild the toy world.
Mello: Well see ya!
Near: Wait Mello!
Mello: What?
Near: Doesn't this feel like a fan fiction that was written out of boredom?
Mello: Ya so…
Near: Nothing I just wanted to be the first one to point that out!
Mello: Why you.
Mello and Near go back to their competitive ways since they can't arrest shinigami. LIGHT AND MISA RULE THE WORLD. SHIDOH DECIDED TO SHARE HIS CHOCOLATE FACTORY WITH MELLO SINCE MELLO WAS THE ONE WHO FIRST GAVE HIM CHOCOLATE. NEAR PLAYS WITH TOYS FROM HIS NEW TOY FACTORY AND RYUK IS ENJOYING HIS APPLE PARADISE. The end.