Thanks for the amazing betareading goes to MidnightMoonWarrior!

Some details are based on "On Fire – A Teen Wolf Novel" by Nancy Holden, meaning I don't claim credit for them. I don't own Teen Wolf or the characters either.

Smoke

The smell of fire nearly makes him gag. It isn't really the fire, if he's honest, it's more the smell of burning wood and flesh. And hair – God, why does this stink so much?

Derek doesn't know and he cares particularly little to find out, he just wants it to stop. Just stop so it's not there one moment to the next. He doubts he will ever get that smell out of his nose any time soon, not since it got stuck there in the first place.

For the first time in his life, he wishes not to be a werewolf, because increased senses are anything but a blessing at the moment. Unfortunately, as he was finding out the hard way, the experience he had not wanted was not going away.

He covers his nose despite knowing that it is not helping, the smell creeps through the small gaps between his fingers. Derek holds his nose and breathes through his mouth, but that doesn't help either. The smell is still there and it lingers to where he doubts it will vanish. He decides to ignore it as best he can.

And then there are the screams, the worst part. He hears them loud and clear as bright as the sun in summer. Together with the cracking of the wood of the house, it is worse than any horror movie soundtrack. And Derek had seen an awful lot of those, though never one involving werewolves; now he has his own.

He takes a deep breath (which isn't the wisest thing he can do right now) and chooses to ignore the screams as good as he can too. There is nothing he can do about them anyways, nothing he can do about any of this.

Derek tries to stay cool about this, to keep his calm and to keep his composed face, to swallow down the feelings raising up in his chest, but for the first time in his life he can't. Because Derek knows all too well that this is his fault, his family dying in this cruel way is his fault.

He had started dating Kate, the lifeguard at school, just a few weeks back. She was his second big love, after Paige, who had died. God, he had been so blind. Totally and completely blind. There was no excuse, none at all. Kate was a hunter, and he a young, inexperienced werewolf, who was so madly in love that he didn't notice what was right in front of him. Laura hadn't even asked a single question, instead just encouraging him to pursue Kate further, because she probably knew all too well how big his feelings were.

Derek isn't blaming his sister, he really isn't – he is blaming himself. After all he should have noticed, he should have been more careful, for heaven's sake, he should have recognized her last name. Argent. He had found it ironic back then, but he hadn't looked into it further. After all names didn't tell you something about the person, did they?

On top of all that he had kept it secret from his mother. Derek still doesn't know how he had managed that, but deep down he doesn't doubt she hadn't noticed anything. She's the alpha after all. Still – she also hadn't said anything. They all had been young once and even Peter, who pretends he hasn't made mistakes like all of them, had been there. She understood him. That was why she hadn't said anything at all, but Derek isn't too happy about that now. He wishes she had. He wishes anyone would have said something or had even asked him about her last name.

But no one had and that is the problem. The Argents were the same family of hunters that had killed a member from one of the other packs.

That was why Peter had pointed out that their alpha could bite Paige. It went wrong, but it wasn't Peter's mistake (not that Derek isn't blaming him for it since it was his idea). The Argents are, to say so, the reason for his misery in the first place. And he fell in love with one of them. God.

Kate is nothing like Paige, her hair short and honey blonde instead of long and brown. She's much older than him, with green eyes instead of brown. Kate is muscular and now, looking back at it, she had tried her best to seduce him. Paige hadn't. She had managed to steal his heart without that and somehow Derek thinks that he hasn't even been in love with Kate at all but rather the idea of being in love ever again and moving on after Paige. Maybe that was his mistake. He had been so set on loving that he had ignored all the signs like just a lovestruck teenager could.

Despite everything – he can't deny that he might have been quite fascinated by her first, in the end in love with her. Madly. So madly, that he had intended on making her his mate and asking his mother if Kate could join their pack. She's stronger than Paige and she has more chances of making it, but he wonders – he had never considered doing the same to Paige until Peter talked him into it. So why had he changed his mind about Kate? He knows how these things can end.

He had even thought about telling Kate what he was (Paige had somehow figured it out by herself), but now he guesses that the hunter had already known that at this point if not from the very beginning. God, he had been so stupid.

And what he had gotten for his love? She had trapped his entire family inside their house and set it on fire, burning them alive. Derek is even more convinced that she hadn't loved him at all, but played him instead to kill the werewolves in Beacon Hills.

He clenches his fists, his claws digging painfully into his skin. He's furious. Furious enough to not have noticed that he has wolfed out, a fact that does not make the situation better at all. Only worse.

How wrong could a person be? How could she be so … cold-hearted? He wonders.

But then again, Derek doesn't seem to have a good hand for relationships in the first place. It doesn't surprise him or anything, but he doubts that after all of this he would be able to fall in love again any time soon. Or allow himself to. It only brings pain.

Hell, he even wonders if he can trust anyone ever again. Laura, of course, but who else? He doesn't know anybody else. They are all dead and Peter – well, he is more or less dead anyway.

Derek doesn't intend to befriend himself with the kids at school either. Their friendship would end sooner or later anyway and besides – he has never been good with humans in the first place, unlike his sister who had been rather popular back at the Beacon Hills High School.

He flinches as a joist, supporting part of the roof, comes down and crashes with a sound that seems deafening to him into the ground. His animal instincts threaten to take him over, but he forces them back with all his might.

Black smoke raises out from under the door right from him and the screams of pain behind it turn into weak gasps for breath. He hears their silent begs for help and smells their fear and horror, their despair and their near death. They are dying right in front of him and there's nothing he can do about it. Tears start to well up in his eyes, but he blinks and rubs over them with the back of his hand. A Hale doesn't cry and he keeps telling himself, it's because of the smoke. He knows it isn't.

Derek runs towards the door, although he knows it's not much use and grabs the handle, trying to push it down. The metal is hot, incredible hot, but more importantly – it doesn't move an inch. The door is locked. He tries it with brute force and throws himself against it, but even that doesn't help. His shoulder hurts and his hands start to blister from the heat, but he doesn't care. Derek throws himself against it again. The lock breaks and the door moves, but it comes to a sudden halt and he sees part of a body (and he doesn't doubt there are more of it) blocking its way. There is no use. He is too late. They are dead, he can smell it.

He lets go of the door and it snaps shut again, but the image doesn't disappear. It's stuck to his head. His hands are all red and burned, but he doesn't even notice the pain. It will heal sooner or later.

Derek feels how he has trouble keeping open his eyes. He is running out of air. He is suffocating.

Derek covers his nose and mouth with a part of his shirt and continues to move through the house in hope of being able to help after all. He can't just stand there and do nothing.

The screams have become silent and he uses his werewolf senses to find his way. The smoke is too thick to see without them, although he isn't too sure if he wants to see what's going on.

At the ground floor they are all dead. In the basement are people, who are still alive, but he can't get there. The door is too heavy for him to open and the stairs down are already burning. He knows Peter is down there and despite everything he is still his uncle, but that doesn't change the fact that Derek can't help him.

He hears sounds from above him and although he can't make them out clearly, he turns to the stairs, running towards it.

Suddenly there is a loud noise to his right, where the living room was, and a part of the ceiling comes down. Derek flinches at the sound of it. Heat moves like a wave into his direction and burns his eye lashes, but he barely notices.

Light floods in and he narrows his eyes. It's so bright and he feels blind for a second. There is more air to breathe now, but at the same time it only causes the flames to get higher and stronger. Derek coughs, covers his mouth again and runs up the stairs. Luckily the stairs don't give in under his weight.

He looks around, his vision starting to get blurry. He can't care less. He knows there is someone of his family here and this person needs his help. Badly.

There is a sound at the end of the corridor. He runs.

The door is open. He sees Laura, laying on the ground, her back to the wall. Around her everything is burning and Derek wants to go forward and help her, but he can't. His limbs won't move an inch and panic rises in his throat. That can't be true. He is so close and still-

Another person steps into view. Derek's heart skips a beat. Not in a good way though. Kate stands there, a bow in her hand. She smiles. It is a malevolent smile and panic flickers above Laura's face before there is the stoic expression again.

Derek may have had conflicted feelings about Kate before, but now he doesn't. He hates her for what she has done and he may hates himself for allowing all of this to happen too.

But he still can't move an inch. Unfortunately. He wants to, but he just can't. No sound comes out of his mouth as he tries to scream. No one hears him. Not even Derek himself.

Then Kate lays an arrow into the string of her bow, bends it and after a painful long moment lets it fly. Derek screams from the top of his lungs, but there is still no sound to be heard. There is shock in Laura's eyes and the arrow makes his way too slowly towards her. It's like in slow motion and Derek has always hated slow motion. It's so close to his sister now and it's going to pierce her through and there is nothing Derek can do and then there is blood and-

Derek awakes, screaming and his skin covered in cold sweat. His claws dig into his blanket and there is something wet on his face. The room around him is dark, completely dark and when the smell of fire vanishes, he notices that he is laying in his bed in their new flat in New York.

His eyes are probably glowing blue in the dark.

There are steps from bare foot against the floor. They come running towards him.

Then Laura is standing in the door, looking at him in worry. Her hair is a complete mess, just like her clothes and on her face is also a look of complete confusion. Derek stops screaming, but the shock doesn't go away. His throat feels dry and he swallows before he stands up and walks towards her like in trance. He stops in front of her and just stares at her for a moment. There is no blood, no arrow piercing through her. Then he hugs her.

She is still a few inches taller than him and for a moment she is too surprised to react, then her arms move and lay on his back, holding him close.

That's when Derek loses it. He starts sobbing and crying like a little child, crying about the loss and the pain, the thought of also losing his sister, about what he done and what he didn't, about his family and what could have been, about love and how it hurts, about Paige and he even cries about Kate.

Laura doesn't ask him, she just holds him and pets his head like he's four again and mumbles calming words he doesn't understand and it's fine for now.

Until she says the three worst words she could.

"It's all right", she says softly.

"No, it's not!", Derek explodes, his voice hoarse and high, pulling himself out of her arms, "Nothing is!" He's loud and his voice cracks but he doesn't care. Laura just looks at him in question and he barely notices the pained expression that flickers above her face for a moment. He knows that she also lost her family and that the pain can't be too different for her and he is responsible for that.

Derek starts telling her the truth although he still isn't sure if it's a good idea or not. Tears stream down his face. For once he doesn't care.

But he doesn't stop there, he moves to his dream, but before that Laura seats him on the bed and Derek only notices now how much he's shaking. His body trembles and he doesn't know how he has managed to stand for this long.

When he comes to the last moment his voice finally leaves him and he stares down at his hands, not wanting to meet Laura's gaze now. She stays silent for quite some time and Derek squeezes his eyes shut. He can't bear to look at her, can't bear the thought of her hating him. Not that he couldn't understand if she did.

His claws dig into his skin and when it starts to bleed, there is another pair of hands, laying gently above his.

"It's okay", she says silently and Derek snaps his eyes open, staring at her in disbelief.

"What done is done", she explains simply, smiling bitterly, her eyes also wet, "And it isn't your mistake only."

"But-", Derek chocks out, "But I-"

"Derek, really", Laura says with that small smile, "It's fine. We all were young and reckless and you couldn't have known." Deep down he knows she is right, but still – the guilt is there. And it won't go away too soon, he knows that too. If ever.

"I've lost my family too in that fire", she continues and he flinches at that statement, "And the hunters are responsible for that not my brother. " The tears stream down his face again and he hugs his sister again, sobbing and hysterical laughing at the same time. He can't wrap his head around how she can just say that. Derek simply doesn't understand.

"I already forgave you", Laura whispers and he doesn't know if he just has imagined it, so silent is her voice.

Laura cries too that night and Derek swears to himself that he never will let things come to that ever again and that he will make Kate pay. He decides that he won't fall in love again since it never ends well and that he doesn't need anything besides his pack and his sister. And he swears that he isn't going to cry anymore and that he will be supporting Laura. She is right after all – she has lost her family too in that fire and he is all she has. And she is all he has too.