Proposals

Proposals?!

Akatsuki proposals: what ever will they do?

In honor of my friends Kira (Kashi) and Maggie (Eden) )

(In order of Akatsuki rings:)

#1: Pein

'Twas the night of a full moon, and all of Akatsuki was off of missions – Pein was finally travel-free for a few days until he'd have to coordinate more jobs for the others. So, during this free time, he decided to ask Konan on a date.

They took a walk together under the stars well into the morning and eventually watched the sunrise together.

As the glowing red light inched upward, Pein decided it was TIME! (LYKE YAY!)

"Konan…" he stood up, and Konan did the same, thinking something was wrong.

"What is it?" she asked, sensing nervousness about Pein.

He knelt down and took her hand.

"Will you…"

Konan gasped.

"Marry me?"

"What?! Yes! YES!!"

Pein took out a little box and opened it. Before Konan was a gleaming, sparkly, expensive, best-quality…

Lip piercing.

#2: Deidara

"Look at that sky, un!" Deidara said, watching the same sunrise in a completely different hideout. "Such transient beauty!"

"It's as vivid as the flames that result from your exploding art!" Mio looked at the sky's bright reds and oranges in awe.

"Even the very earth we live in seems to scream out that art…"

"Is a blast!"

"Hm!"

The two laughed, and afterward, Deidara handed Mio a piece of clay.

"Here, make something out of it. Then I'll put on a show, un!"

Mio created three small birds out of the clay, which Deidara brought to life and sent flying through the air.

They broke apart into thousands of little butterflies and each one gave a huge explosion that faded into the color of the sun. Falling onto the grass, they sat and watched the display of 'fireworks' with glowing smiles.

"Say…" Deidara reached into his bag and turned so that Mio couldn't see. "Close your eyes for a minute."

He crafted a ring out of clay (being careful not to infuse it with explosive chakra!) and crafted a case for it to rest in.

Mio, on her count to 60, still had her eyes closed.

"Mio-chan!" Deidara finally faced her. Using both hands, he offered her the box.

"Marry me, un?" he winked his single eye.

"ZOMGFLABBERSHNAFFLEYESIWILLPOWERSTIRKEDONTEATYELLOWSANDNESSLYNESS!"

Deidara paused. "I think that was a yes?"

Mio nodded her head furiously. "MHMMMM!!"

She peeked inside of the box and tilted her head.

"This ring is the size of a hamster paw…"

Deidara created the Inu and I hand-signs which brought the ring to 'life' – gold with a giant sparkly diamond in the middle. Better yet, it fit! He couldn't help but to laugh when Mio squealed her head off with happiness…

#3: Konan

Since when do girls propose to guys who just proposed to them a few hours before?

"Hey," says Kakashi, "To pass the time that this spot was supposed to take up, why don't I do a dance?"

Kakashi dances the Can-Can, whilst obnoxiously saying Zeeky Boogy Doog one million times over and laughing in a scary way. The whole world eventually explodes.

#4: Itachi

Itachi sat in front of a warm fireplace, inside one of the more recent Akatsuki hideouts. He was intently reading a book on the couch.

Beside him (and reading the book with him) sat Eden, who used all of her knowledge and power to find this Akatsuki hideout because she read online that she was Itachi's perfect match. Itachi never really spoke to her much, but it was obvious that he didn't mind having her around.

"What's the title of this book anyway? It's really good!" Eden asked.

"Icha Icha Violence…I couldn't stand the first one, so I skipped over to this one. Death and doom. Lots of doom."

"Yeah but…the main character is proposing to her right now! Could it possibly be that sad?"

"I read it before. Her psycho ex comes and kills him, if you really wanted to know."

Eden blinked.

"What is it?"

"Well, I don't have a psycho ex capable of killing you!" she smiled.

Itachi smirked and activated his Mangekyo Sharingan.

Eden quivered with fear as she found herself being sucked away into the Tsukuyomi world. But…The world morphed into the scenery that was described in Icha Icha Violence: a clearing in the middle of a sunny forest filled with green grass and white stone ruins brushed with ivy.

"Itachi?!" Eden gasped. "What's going on?!"

Itachi kneeled before Eden and held out to her a black onyx ring with a gold-edged red and white Uchiha emblem carved into it.

"Will you…uhh…" Itachi turned a little red.

Eden was stunned. "He's being shy?! KAWAIII!!"

"…Marry me?"

"YAYNESSLYO! YES!"

They eventually slipped back into the real world, and Eden fell asleep in Itachi's arms in the warmth of the fire.

#5: Zetsu

"Zetsu?" his white half asked.

"Yeah, Zetsu?" his black half replied.

"We've been together our entire life."

"Oh, I never realized that!! You idiot! What's your point?"

"Well…I find it weird that we're not legally 'joined'."

"We're physically 'joined'…that's more than legitimate! Wait…" The black-half looked inward as a way of trying to look the white half in the eye. "Are you going through an identity crisis again? Y'know… remember the whole 'I AM ALOE VERA, NOT A VENUS FLYTRAP' thing? Now you're trying to tell yourself that you're the opposite gender?!"

"Well yeah. We should get married. That way, I don't have to feel guilty about sharing my bed with you every night."

"Zetsu! We're the same person! No one's sharing a bed with anyone!"

"Oh c'mon."

"NO. I'm not marrying you!"

"Please?"

"NO!!"

"I have a fresh HUMAN sitting somewhere in our hideout that I won't reveal where until you say yes!"

The black half's eye almost started to cry. "Fine."

"Let's do it officially!"

The black half sighed.

"Zetsu…" the Zetsu entity kneeled down, "Will you marry me?"

The white half took Sasori's old ring that he was about to give to Tobi and offered it to his other half.

"…...Yes……." Black Zetsu hoped no one was watching.

The black half offered up his own Akatsuki ring, replacing it with Tobi's and the white half wearing Zetsu's on the thumb that Sasori wore his ring on (if that makes any sense.)

"Can I sing 'Here Comes the Bride?"

"HECK NO!"

"BUT-"

Zetsu covered his mouth. He had a disadvantage this way: he himself couldn't speak, either. So…

#6: Orochimaru

-after Eden broke up with Itachi because they weren't really alike after all XD-

"EEEDDDDEEEENNN…" a snaky whisper echoed through the dark Akatsuki lair, lit dimly by a single candle whose flame was waning.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?" she replied.

He emerged from the shadows with a malicious grin.

"I would like…for you to surrender your all to me," he lifted her head by placing a finger under her chin and coldly staring into her eyes, "for you to obey whatever I tell you to do, help me with experiments and provide useful insight when I need it."

Eden opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted.

"I know, I know, you're wondering what you'll get out of this… 'agreement'."

His grin grew wider. "The Mangekyo Sharingan."

"What?!" Eden shrieked. She froze when she sensed something else in the shadows. Light reflected off of two red eyes.

"I don't know what you're planning, Orochimaru, but it ends here!" Itachi, Eden's psycho ex, caught Orochimaru by surprise and attacked him with the Mangekyo – killing him.

Eden didn't know what to say. "So this is how sad Icha Icha Violence gets!"

#7: Kisame

As you probably know, every time Itachi and Kisame headed to Konoha for undercover missions, they always made sure to stop at the Dango Shop that served only the best. But, little did Itachi know that, as they camped out in hotels during the nights, Kisame snuck away to visit Ayame: the daughter of the man who runs the Dango Shop's hardest competition, Ichiraku Ramen!!

So, one night, he actually asked Ayame to marry him. But, even though she loved him dearly, she turned him down – she knew how much trouble Kisame would get in if he married the heir of Ichiraku Ramen but always ate at the Dango Shop.

What was Kisame to do? He and his true love would one day be separated by food if he didn't do anything about it!

He came up with a plan. One bright morning as he and Itachi walked to the Dango Shop, Kisame announced that he had to use the restroom. He used a water-clone jutsu when he was in there and had it go back out to meet Itachi. Meanwhile, the real Kisame knocked a chef out and stole his identity. He snooped around the kitchen and eventually did find the top-secret Dango recipe! But…his brain was kind of small…and he couldn't remember the whole thing, so how would he take the single copy of the recipe with him?

"Listen up!" he disguised himself as the owner of the shop and spoke to all of the chefs. "Production has been slow, so we're going to have a drill today! All of you must be able to memorize exact ingredient amounts and steps so that you won't have to use this sheet!" Kisame pointed to the top-secret recipe sheet that was quite worn down from so much handling.

"Yes, sir!" everyone said and quickly studied the list.

While their minds were busy trying to remember what came next, Kisame wrote the recipe down on a napkin and tucked it in a pocket. The water clone that accompanied Itachi then announced that it had to use the restroom so that the real Kisame could go back.

Later that night, Kisame snuck over to Ayame's again and gave her the top-secret dango recipe and told her to serve it at Ichiraku Ramen and Dangos.

The next day that Itachi and Kisame spent in Konoha, Kisame nudged Itachi on the shoulder.

"Maybe we should try Ichiraku today," Kisame hinted. "I hear they improved their menu."

"Ok, Kisame, we'll go there."

And so they did.

"They serve dangos? Since when?!" Itachi stared at the menu on the wall."

"I'm gonna try some!" Kisame ordered a plateful of them and handed one stick to Itachi.

Itachi's face lit up. "These are as good, if not better, than the other shop we go to."

So, Kisame got to spend his dango-eating time staring at Ayame's pretty face. That night, she accepted his proposal, promising that she'd always wait for him to re-visit Konoha. ) Yay for happy endings!

#8: Kakuzu

"How much money do I have?" Kashi counted one bill at a time, for she hadn't counted it in a while. She was planning on buying a new set of kunai as hers were getting dull.

"Want me to count it for you?" Kakuzu sat beside her and gazed longingly at all the cash. Since when do women get more money than me?! I know! I have an idea!

"Shh. I'm counting."

Kakuzu was stunned – he used this excuse all the time!! He must've found his perfect match!!

"Two hundred and five, two hundred and six, two hundred and seven…" Kashi counted.

When she was done, Kakuzu quickly and effortlessly told her all the good brands of kunai, all the bad ones and, depending on the quality, how many sets of kunai she could buy.

"Thanks, Kakuzu! How do you think of that stuff so fast?"

"I uhh…research a lot!"

Kashi smiled and thanked him again.

Kakuzu sent an arm into his room and brought it back out.

"Marry me and love me for richer or poorer and share that money with me?!" Kakuzu revealed that his hand had grabbed a shiny ring from his room.

He grinned evilly and thought Little does she know I only spent five dollars on that thing! It's made of gold-painted steel and glass instead of diamond!

"Say what?!" Kashi blinked.

"Did you not hear me?"

"You like….'love' me??"

Kakuzu gave her puppy-dog eyes.

"No! I will not marry you!"

REJECTED!!

#9: Hidan

Hidan was journeying between two Akatsuki hideouts to go meet up with Kakuzu. When the sun set below the horizon and all went dark, he decided he'd better find a place to sleep and perform his ritual before he angered Jashin.

When he awoke, he tried to find a water source to wash off all the blood that now covered him.

"Where's a freaking river?!" Hidan marched to the edge of the forest, searching for any form of cold flowing water. "Aghh! Bleep it all!!"

"Aggh! Bleep it all!" he heard what he thought was his echo, until he realized that the echo didn't match.

"Stupid Orochimaru!" the other female voice continued, "Sending me off to get some bleeping Sauce-gay, dangit! He's SO gay! Gaah, this water is bleeping cold!! I can't bathe in this!"

Hidan ran as fast as he could toward the voice and eventually found that he was looking at a river and a pink-haired girl.

"Bleeeeep!!" Tayuya grabbed her Sound robe as quickly as possible and covered herself with it.

"That's no way to treat an immortal!" Hidan whined and stomped over to her.

"Forgive me!" Tayuya shook with fear when he mentioned he was immortal.

As this was Hidan's language, he did forgive her. He stepped into the river and washed himself off. Tayuya was glaring at him.

"What is it?"

Silence.

"TURN AROUND, BLEEP!! I'M FREAKING UNDRESSED!"

"TOO BAD! I DON'T HAVE TO IF I DUN WANNA!"

"WELL THEN FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FLUTE!"

"WHAT FLUTE IS GONNA TAKE ME DOWN?!"

"GAAH! YOU STUPID IMMORTAL!"

"YOU STUPID BLEEP!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING STUPID?!"

"YOU!!"

"GASP!"

"JASHIN SHALL BRING JUDGEMENT UPON YOU!"

"WHO THE HECK IS JASHIN?!"

"THE GOD THAT BLESSED ME WITH IMMORTALITY! THE GOD WHO REWARDS THOSE WHO DESTROY! THE ONE WHO CONSIDERS ANYTHING BUT UTTER DESTRUCTION A SIN!"

"THEN HALLELUJAH, I'VE FOUND MY RELIGION!"

"YOU'RE BEING BLEEPING SARCASTIC!"

"AM NOT!"

"ARE SO!"

"AM NOT!!"

"SO YOU'RE REALLY GONNA FOLLOW JASHIN?!"

"OH YES!"

"MARRY ME?!"

"HELL YEAH!!"

#10: Tobi

"Mio, please follow me!"

Mio, stunned by the suddenness of the request, followed Tobi into the sunny outdoors. He pulled her hand over to an area at which he had set up a picnic!

"Aww, Tobi! This is awesome!" Mio sat down on the picnic blanket and Tobi sat across from her.

"I invited you here because I wanted to ask you something." Tobi pointed a finger into the air. "Do you think…that Tobi is a good boy?"

"Why yes I do. Tobi is a very good boy!"

"Then…Mio-chan?" Tobi handed her a chocolate muffin. "Will you marry me?"

"What?!"

"You're the cutest girl in the world, and you have such a pretty smile, and you're really smart like Tobi, and you like chocolate, and you make me feel all happy inside, and Mio is a good girl!!"

Mio swooned over Tobi's adorable cuteness and immediately said yes.

THEEEE ENNNND!