She was fire. She knew she was.
She was the life of the party, she was the centre of attention, she was proud, confident and strong. Nothing could harm her. Everyone would stop and stare she was magnetic.
She wasn't sure when she started to lose the fire within her she couldn't bring herself to pinpoint the exact time she felt her fire start to fade.
She felt alone cold and terrified of the niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to run but she couldn't for the life of her think where she would go. Where would be better than here.
She fell to the floor naked and cold in the moonlight sobbing, mourning her past self, wondering how she had let it get so bad.
As she sobbed the embers that remained of her fire encouraged her quietly slowly to carry on maybe she wasn't totally extinguished maybe just maybe she could carry on. But how? How she wondered.
She was fire she knew she was.
As the embers continued to grow warming her she knelt pleading screaming to every deity she knew for the strength she needed to change she had to get out. Nothing happened, she didn't really expect it to but totally desperate she called again.
She sat back on her heels slowly laughing at herself, chuckling manically what did she expect, no one was coming she should have known that by now. She began to sob again.
She thought back to her childhood she was loved, her parents now aging had always supported her loved her and kept her safe but she knew they couldn't help her now. She searched her mind for someone or something she had forgotten someone who could give her the strength to carry on or take her away from where she was. Stop the suffocating which was extinguishing her. She thought of her favourite memories, of her grandmother many years departed, of her toys and games. She thought about the books and films she had seen thinking about who had the power to transport her away.
She called out loud with a flippant afterthought "I wish the Goblin King would come and take me away right now"
Silence. Nothing happened. She thought herself foolish of course that wouldn't work he is from a film nothing real. She gathered herself up and took herself off to bed she had to work in the morning she couldn't spend all night crying out to the nothingness waiting for her call to be answered.
She laid in bed staring at the ceiling her eyes still burning from the tears, she hoped sleep would come soon the cycle of sleepless nights and early mornings were making her descent into the deepest depression swifter.
She heard a noise like something tapping on the downstairs door. She listened, silence, she must have imagined it. She turned over and tried to get back to sleep.
The noise came again. She thought to herself I can't have imagined it this time. She threw the covers off and picked up a robe to cover herself it wouldn't do for an intruder to see her naked. She slowly tiptoed out of her room and down the stairs still hoping the noise was in her mind. She carefully peered into the lounge where the rear curtains which cover the large double doors onto the back garden were still open and the moonlight pooling in on the floor. She couldn't see anything from where she was she had to venture further in.
As she moved into the lounge she turned to face the doors which gave access to the garden she could see no one in the quick glance she took. She looked back down towards her feet not wanting to study the shadows too hard for fear of what she might see. She knew there was nothing near those doors which could be blown on to them to make the noise. She ventured on towards the door. The moonlight lit the room like a streetlamp casting shadows from the contents of the untidy room.
She looked up again and saw something moving in the moonlight. It came to rest on the picnic table in front of the doors. Her heart began to pound in her chest it was what looked like a barn owl. She breathed a sigh of relief. She'd seen evidence of owls in the back garden before but this one was different, the bird was too big to be a barn owl yet it carried all the markings. She had seen and held barn owls in the past this was like an eagle owl. The bird was beautiful almost regal its head bobbed from side to side as if it could see her and was studying her. She took her mobile phone out the pocket in her robe to take a photo of the bird so she could show it to her friends later. She made sure the flash was off as she walked ever closer to the doors the bird still following her. She felt strangely drawn to the bird staring at her it never flinching, slowly following her. She raised the phone up to her face to take the photograph. The bird began to panic waving its wings blurring it on the screen. But it didn't fly off she took down the camera and placed it in her pocket hoping this would calm the bird. It did. Something took hold of her drawing her closer still to the door willing her, begging her to open the door and bathe herself in the moonlight and look closer at the bird. A voice in the back of her head was telling her to stop. That she would frighten the magnificent creature off and there still could be someone out there. She thought back to earlier that night her emptiness her sadness and said to herself well you wanted a way out how bad could it be she decided to throw caution to the wind and opened the door.
The night air blew fresh on her skin as the owl remained perched where it was still sizing her up. She continued towards it then suddenly the bird took off over her head and towards the house she saw it out of the corner of her eye going through the open doors into the lounge. Now you've blown it she thought. As she rushed to the house to prevent the large bird from entering the house, too late, the bird was in the lounge and all she could do was hope it would remain in that room she didn't have time to chase the animal round the house.
The bird came to a halt at the back of the room in the shadows. As she moved back towards the house the bird sempt to be growing further in size as she walked towards it. The owl started to disfigure and morph into something else. It grew taller its wings lost their fluffy feathers and its legs lengthened and its body filled out it became human looking.
She walked in the room and the now tall slender looking creature came towards her speaking her name with a voice as smooth as silk rich and enticing,
"Zarah"
she jumped back her, heart threatening to jump out of her chest she thought to herself in a panic how can this creature, this thing know my name. She tried to calm herself before she confronted this unannounced visitor who knew her name. It felt like a lifetime but it can only have been the length of time it takes to swallow however before she could ask the voice came again velvety smooth like chocolate
"You called for me"
It couldn't be she thought. Her mind raced she reminded herself of her pleas earlier. But he isn't real she told herself. She had made the final plea in jest how could this be happening she thought to herself. Finally she was ready to speak but the only word that came out of her mouth was
"How?" The response she received was identical to the last
"You called for me"
Zarah's head began to spin as the tall blond stranger moved towards her she had so many pointless questions that she really didn't need the answers to and still nothing came out of her mouth. Suddenly the stranger was in front of her.
He emanated an invisible glow, warmth that drew her closer to him like a moth to a flame finally she composed herself enough to speak to him.
"Your Real?" she questioned him
"Indeed" was his response.
Suddenly she realised she had wished herself away so why were they still in her living room.
"Are you going to take me away?" she asked with a shake in her voice.
"Not tonight" was his answer. Why? She thought.
The stranger took a step backwards and bowed to her introducing himself
"I am Jareth, The Goblin King" he said.
Deciding she must be dreaming Zarah decided to go along with the elaborate dream. She invited The Goblin King to sit on the sofa. He obliged her taking a sitting in the soft chair. He reclined in the moonlight his hair bright blond and unruly shining like the stars from the sky. Zarah took a seat next to him trying to remain at an appropriate distance from him, trying to show she respected his personal space and status.
"Why aren't you taking me away" she asked
"You're not ready" he responded
Zarah was taken back by the Goblin Kings answer, she stared into his eyes they were mysterious and different one looked totally black whilst the other showed a halo of beautiful blue they sempt to be timeless, ageless.
"What do you mean I am not ready" she asked
"You don't really mean what you said" he answered
She thought as the words left his mouth. She was ready, she was so ready she was so tired of the half-life she was living. Why would he say that?
"Do I have unfinished business?" The Goblin King was far more understanding than she expected. When she had come to terms with his presence she expected him to take her away and all she hoped for was that she wouldn't end up locked up in a tower or worse in a dungeon.
"In a manner of speaking" he paused waiting for Zarah to catch up with his revelation.
"Can you tell me what it is" she pressed.
"Only you can look into your heart and make peace with your demons" he responded earnestly.
Demons she thought, I hope they aren't real too.
"Look sir" she started
"Jareth will do" he responded
"ok Jareth, I called for you as I could not see another way out of my depressing situation, I have always felt like I don't belong here like I was born out of time maybe hundreds of years" she was trying to appeal to him.
"The underground is not a place that an adult should just wish themselves to without proper consideration" Jareth warned her.
Zarah tried to remain calm and even when she questioned the Goblin King. She knew it was not wise to anger a being which had the power to hear a cry from a locked house and transform himself into another creature.
"Does this mean you will never take me with you?" she asked with sorrow in her voice
"Did I say that" Jareth looked into the womans eyes seeing her upset
"Ok" he said breathing a sigh "I can see this means a lot to you" he continued "I will leave you shortly but I give you my word I will return, in the time that I am away I need you to evaluate all your options once you take the decision to step into the underground you can never go back." with that he stood up, walked to the open door leaped and transformed back into an owl disappearing into the night.
Zarah nodded her head at the Goblin Kings words, she could feel her heart breaking as again her escape had been blocked. Only temporarily she hoped but she could not understand why he didn't think her ready now. She would have gone with him without question right then she couldn't see why he was making her re-evaluate a world she no longer felt a part of.
She sobbed as she felt her last embers die inside her pulling a blanket over her head crying herself into a dreamless sleep.