On First Glance

"You aren't so hot on first glance either, honey."

He was drowning in that phrase. Sitting on the floor in the corner of his room, he thumped the side of his head against the wall repeatedly. He felt the pull tab of his zipper bounce against his hair with every movement.

The memory of his damning words had come back to haunt him with full force that night. DG had had a suitor over to visit for the day - some young noble, just coming out of hiding and redeclaring his loyalty to the queen. They had spent the whole day laughing and talking and generally making merry.

Glitch hated him.

But that wasn't the reason Glitch had set up a TDESPHTL at the base of the stairs. No, he had done that merely to test a simulated projection technology he had rediscovered from his old notes. After all, the open foyer was the best place to see the projection. It wasn't his fault that the only simulation he had to test was one of a papay pack, stalking their prey. And it was just a coincidence that his finger slid over the Begin button on the remote just as DG and her little friend were walking downstairs to go to their romantic candlelit dinner.

Glitch broke out of his forlorn trance for a moment, grinning as he remembered the young man's squeal of terror. Upon seeing the beasts, he had jumped straight up in the air, and lost his footing as he fell. He slid down a couple of steps before scrambling to his knees and ducking behind DG's skirts.

She, on the other hand, had merely stood there, looking around with her eyebrows furrowed. She knew something was amiss. The orchards were already restored to seventy-percent production capacity, more than enough to satisfy the papay. And even if they were upset, how could they have gotten into the palace?

No, Glitch realized, the grin dropping from his face, the real trouble had started when DG had finally spied the little bronze device sitting innocuously by a flower vase. She walked straight through the growling animals, leaving the cowering man to scamper further up the stairs on his own.

Glitch hadn't seen what happened from that point on. While DG's back was turned, he darted from his hiding place (Wait, hiding place? No, it was merely a spot to make scientific observations from. It just happened to be behind a curtain.) and ran out into the gardens.

He stopped in the purple and orange glow of the sunset just long enough to catch his breath, then set off on a nonchalantly quick stroll into the hedge maze. He was only a few twists and turns into it when DG caught up with him. Well, to be strictly accurate, the TDESPHTL had caught up with him first, hitting him hard across the shoulder.

"You bastard!" she yelled, catching up to him as he spun around in shock, "You did that on purpose! Why couldn't you just leave him alone?"

Glitch just stood there for several minutes, his mouth hanging open, his head twitching back and forth a little. Finally, DG kicked him in the shin, drawing him quickly out of his glitch.

Rubbing his leg, he shot her a dirty look. "Just so you know, I don't know if I am a bastard or not, because I can't remember my parents!"

DG looked guilty for a moment, but then stepped forward to him, retaliating, "That has nothing to do with anything. I was having a lovely day, and now, thanks to you, my date has locked himself in a closet and is refusing to come out!"

Glitch leaned towards her so they were almost touching. Waving his arm emphatically, he said, "That's not my fault! I may have half a brain, but at least I know the difference between a projection and reality!"

DG rose up on her tiptoes, her hot breath mingling with his. "Well, at least he-" and with this, she poked him hard in the chest, "thinks I'm attractive!"

Glitch stepped back and seemed to wilt a little under her glare. "What? Who wouldn't think you're attractive?"

"You! You haven't been able to leave me alone since we got here. You've found some way to ruin every single chance I've had to make new friends!" She held her ground with her hands on her hips.

He looked indignantly at her. "Every single new friend you want to make is an idiot. They are all a bunch of stupid, simpering, sycophants that were nowhere to be found when your family needed them." He stopped suddenly, and put his finger on his chin, suddenly unsure of himself. "Um, what did that have to do with not thinking you're pretty?"

"Nothing, it's just that... You..." she turned to the side, keeping her arms wrapped tightly around herself as if for protection. "You said I wasn't so hot on first glance, remember? When we first met?" DG glanced up at him out of the corner of her eye.

"No, actually, I didn't remember saying that," Glitch said, looking down as he scratched his neck, considered it. DG began to turn back to him, a glimmer of hope building in her eyes.

Oblivious to her reaction, Glitch smiled, feeling suddenly self-assured in his reasoning. "But it is true you know. You weren't so hot on first glance."

Before he could explain himself further, DG threw her hands in the air and made a loud noise, somewhere between a scream and a growl. She stormed away, heading back through the maze to the palace.

"DG, wait, listen..." He started after her, his arm extended as if he could pull her back to him, but she was already out of sight behind the leafy walls.

He hadn't been able to find her again for the rest of the evening. When he had stopped by the kitchen for a quick dinner, he heard that the young lord had finally come out of the closet, only to insist on being escorted to his car so he could leave immediately.

Glitch could barely restrain a smug grin as he walked through the halls, a little skip in his step. Even if DG was mad with him, she was still here and the idiot was gone. Glitch could work with that.

He heard a woman step out into the hallway behind him. "Ambrose, I need to speak with you."

He slowed down, looking around, but saw no other men standing nearby. He glanced over his shoulder to see the queen looking directly at him. He pointed at himself in question, and when she nodded, he hesitantly turned around and walked back to her.

"DG came to me quite upset earlier. She wouldn't tell me everything, but apparently you've hurt her feelings rather badly, Ambr- Glitch. She's asked me to have you transferred to our Central City offices."

"Wh-huh?" Glitch felt his jaw drop against his chest, and he thought he felt the floor drop from beneath his feet at the same time.

The queen shook her head quickly, trying to reassure him. "I haven't made that decision, and I don't intend to. But I can't have the palace thrown into chaos every time you have one of your disagreements. This has been going on for months now. You need to either work it out between yourselves, or find some way to keep away from each other. And if that does mean a transfer, then so be it."

She held her stern look for a moment more, then smiled and stepped closer.

"But truly, I don't think she wants you gone at all. She's just upset, and hurt. She thinks you dislike her, and she's trying to protect herself. But she's very wrong, isn't she?" She smiled slyly at Glitch's shocked expression. "Go tell her how you really feel. Tonight. Don't put this off any longer." She squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, and with one last smile, turned and walked away.

Glitch felt like his world had just been shattered, if DG didn't want him near her anymore. But what had the queen been trying to say? Was it possible DG felt the same about him as he did her?

Glitch had thought the parade of suitors coming through the castle was proof otherwise, but was it possible it was all done just to make him jealous? She did seem to spend an exorbitant amount of time before each visit telling him about whatever man she was going to be seeing, and what their plans were, and how she thought each one might be better than the last. Which of course was what had been prompting him to thwart every one's attempt at romance. Yes, sometimes it had involved sharp objects, or, well, fire... but he did care for DG, and certainly had never meant to hurt her in the process.

He would have been perfectly content to continue their games of jealousy and sabotage, rather than to face her with the truth and risk permanent rejection, but it seemed she had grown impatient with his antics. The queen was right, he decided with a start, he would have to act tonight. He blinked a few times, looking around and seeing that he had been standing in the hall with his mouth gaping open for the past several minutes.

He started off at a quick pace, taking the stairs two at a time and racing down hallways until he finally reached DG's room. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door confidently.

"DG," he called, "I'm here! Open the door!"

He thought he heard a muffled voice cry "Duck off", but that didn't make very much sense. He knocked even harder. "Come on, it's time for us to Talk," he said, deliberately emphasizing the word 'talk', for this was a discussion he had been dreaming of for quite a while.

The door was pulled open very slightly, and a chin and nose stuck out. The mouth between them growled, "I don't want to talk. Go away."

Glitch bent over at the waist and rested the side of his head against the doorframe. Touching the end of his nose against hers, he explained patiently, "But I'm ready now. I wasn't before, but I am now. So we need to, you see?"

Crossing his eyes, he realized there was something dangerous in the way her nose scrunched up against his. He yanked his head back just in time to avoid getting his own nose caught in the slamming door. The doorknob rattled violently as the lock was turned on the other side. He realized with a start that she really didn't want to talk to him. He wandered off in a quiet daze, more hurt and confused than he remembered ever being before.

He ambled through the hallways mindlessly, until he came to his own familiar door, which was how he ended up slumped in the corner of his bedroom floor, reliving the day's events. He was trying desperately to find something, anything, to tell him what he should do next, how to salvage the train wreck his day had become.

The queen said he should talk to DG, but she wouldn't let him in. So, either the queen was wrong and DG really didn't want to talk to him, or the queen was right, and he had to find any way possible to get through to her. After so many years of not having a great advisor like himself, the queen's reasoning may have become rusty. But on the other hand, it was the queen. And she was talking about her daughter. How could she be wrong?

Glitch got up to his knees with newly found determination. She was right, he decided, he must talk to DG one way or the other, and he must do it tonight. But she had locked her door, how could he get in? He walked across his room to the window, thinking it over carefully. His fingers began toying with the latch on the large window, trying to let his mind wander into a solution.

That's it, he thought, as the latch fell open beneath his hand. She had a window too; he could just climb down to it from the room above hers. Grinning triumphantly, he rushed from his room, leaving the window swinging open in the night air.

When Glitch finally found the room he figured was directly above hers, he realized that he had forgotten to get a rope on his way. No matter, he thought, he could improvise. He took off his jacket and began to work. He tore the bed apart, throwing pillows through the air and crumpling the comforter into a corner. After he had ripped the thin summer sheets from the mattress, he drug the whole bed over closer to the window.

He tied the sheets together with a tight square knot, and lowered them experimentally to the window below. They were just long enough, he saw with pleasure. He tied off one end to the frame of the heavy wooden bed, and without another thought, climbed out over the rough stone ledge.

Holding tightly to his bedsheet rope, he lowered himself easily down the smooth face of the palace wall. He only slowed down when he reached the panes of the lower window, so that he would not swing up against the glass and risk breaking it. Looking in, he was pleased to see that he had picked the correct window for DG's room. Just a few feet away, she was sitting in a large armchair, her legs curled under her, reading a book. Her eyes were a little red around the edges, but she seemed to have calmed down some since he saw her last.

He spent a few minutes enjoying the sight of her peaceful repose, then tapped gently on the window. DG jumped from her chair and dropped the book in surprise. She was so shocked at the sight of Glitch dangling in the air, she forgot her anger for a moment and walked over to open the window.

"Hi, DG," Glitch smiled proudly at her, "I heard you lock the door, so I had to find another way to talk to you."

"Did you think about the fact that I locked the door because I didn't want to talk to you?" DG said very slowly, doing her best to restrain her temper.

"I know, but it's important, and I made a rope and everything!" Glitch said, as if his impressive sheet-tying skills would earn him the right to talk with her.

"Well, you might as well climb right back up to where you came from, because I don't feel like talking about this tonight." She smiled sarcastically at him and closed the window again with a snap of her wrist. Turning away sharply on one heel, she went back to her chair and book. She sat back down for a moment, but was quickly distracted by the sight of the man dangling outside her window. She twisted the chair to face away from him and continued to read.

"D-Geee..." he called plaintively, in a tone that some people may have even called whiny. He waited a few minutes, hoping she would come back to him. When she didn't, he called good-naturedly after her, "Fine. It's okay. I'll just wait out here until you're ready to talk."

DG spared him a quick glance over her shoulder, with an incredulous lift of her eyebrows. She just shook her head a little before turning her attention back to her book. She forced herself to focus on the story, and got a few minutes of silence before she was interrupted again.

"Um, hey Deeg?" he said loudly, an odd tone to his voice. She glanced over at the window to see him looking straight up with curiosity in his eyes. "I think my sheet might be ripping," he said calmly, as if it was merely an errant experiment - slightly disappointing, but possibly of some value still.

She stood up from the chair and walked over cautiously, unsure if he might be trying to trick her into letting him in. As she drew closer to the window, she heard the distinct sound of tearing cloth and saw Glitch jerk down a few inches. She leaped the rest of the way there and yanked open the window.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is ripping," he said, still unaffected, as she leaned out and threw her arms around his waist.

"You know, you might have thought about the fact that we're six floors up when you threw yourself out the window with only a thin bedsheet," she said, struggling to get his limp form inside.

"What?" Glitch's face went white as he stared at DG. "Six floors?" His eyes darted down, then back up repeatedly. He began to thrash about in her arms and scrabble at the window ledge with his feet, all of which just caused the sheet to rip further.

"I didn't realize we were this high! Please, please let me in!!" he begged her, while somehow kicking himself further away from the opening.

DG grunted as she was yanked along with him further out the window. "I'm trying to help you! Just give me your feet!" She ducked to the side, barely avoiding being kicked in the face.

She had just managed to grab his ankles and get his lower body firmly inside the window as the last few inches of the sheet ripped apart with a snap. She latched on to the front of his vest he began to flail backwards, and pulled him the rest of the way in with one big yank.

He melted down onto his knees, trembling violently. One arm still clutched the remnants of the sheet tightly to his chest, while the other wrapped sinuously around DG's legs. With the ripped end of the cloth draped loosely over his shoulder, he looked for all the world like a toddler with his blankie.

Whimpering, he buried his face against the front of DG's thigh and squeezed her even closer to him. She patted his head awkwardly then pushed him away before his position could bring any more heat to her cheeks.

"Shh, it's okay now. You're safe," she said, pulling him to his feet. "Come on, now that you're inside, you can head on back to your room." She tried to push him towards the door, but he refused to move his feet.

"No, DG..." he looked at her in shock. "I risked my life to come here for a Talk. I can't just leave!"

She sighed and took the sheet from him with resignation. "Fine," she said, as she began to fold the tattered remains, "Go ahead and Talk all you want to. Then you're leaving. Okay?"

He grinned at her as he took the sheet back and followed her over to her dresser. DG sat down with only a small sigh and began to brush her hair. Glitch hugged the folded sheet tightly as he watched her in the mirror for a moment.

"Umm, DG? What was I going to talk to you about?" His smile faltered a little as he glanced around, suddenly unsure of himself.

DG looked over her shoulder at him. Though he had many frustrating characteristics, she never got upset over his natural glitches. "I think you were going to explain what you meant when you said I wasn't so hot on first glance?" She may not have been upset over the glitch, but the phrase itself still stung.

"Oh, that's right!" He walked up behind her, dropping the bundled sheet on the floor. His fingers began to gently run through her hair on the opposite side of where she was brushing.

"You weren't so hot," he said matter-of-factly, ignoring the roll of her eyes. "You were all messy, and you had those silly boy clothes on. Your hair was all tangly - I think there was even still some house stuck in it. Those anklebiters had just finished hauling you up through the air, and believe me, that doesn't help anyone's looks."

He tilted he head a little, considering her in the mirror. He gave her only had a brief mischievous grin as a warning before both his hands dug into her hair and ran quickly back and forth across her scalp, completely mussing her hair up.

"Yup, that's about how it looked!" He grinned at her reflection, very satisfied with himself.

DG pulled away from his hands and shot him a dirty look as she walked over to the bed and set down on the edge, her arms crossed.
Glitch walked slowly over to her, gazing around the room as he thought over his next words.

"You're nothing like, say, that Airofday girl. Now she was hot at first glance. I mean, that outfit, the hair." He paused for a moment and grinned. "That body. Wow." Glitch raised his hands to his head and made a little spin in place, his eyes slightly glazed over.

DG jaw dropped open and her eyebrows furrowed. She threw herself backwards onto the bed. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?!" she asked, shocked that even Glitch would think that was a good thing to say. He froze and looked at her suddenly, startled out of his reminiscence. He walked over and perched on the side of the bed next to her.

"I'm not finished!" he replied defensively. "I was saying, she was hot at first glance, but by the time she came out of her window, it all started to fade."

DG opened her eyes and looked at him curiously. He continued, "On closer inspection, she was just a bunch of glitter, and sequins, and fake limbs. And besides, look how she ended up? Even I have enough brains to know that first glances don't mean anything, doll."

DG smiled sheepishly, beginning to see the meaning of his words. Glitch leaned back onto the bed sideways, propping his head up on one elbow.

"Women like Airofday are like... cheap, flashy advertisements. You look at them, smile, then move right along." He smiled at her and continued.

"You, though. You're like... a wonderful work of art. A master's painting. You should be studied and analyzed." DG's breath caught as he reached out and gently touched her face, tracing his fingers down her nose and over her lips.

"For hours, no, days on end. Every detail, every curve..." He leaned over her, lowered his face even closer, and slid the back of his finger down her neck and across her collarbone.

"You are amazing, and I won't ever see enough of you. No matter how many years I have to study you, I know there will always be something beautiful and new to see. And that's what I want, too," he smiled eagerly, "To be able to study you for years to come." His hand followed down the length of her arm and his fingers intertwined with hers. He dropped his head even closer to her, gazing into her eyes intently. "DG, I lo-"

Suddenly, his hand convulsed around hers, and his entire body stiffened against her. He squeezed his eyes shut as if in pain. After a moment, his fingers began to twitch back to life, and he looked at her blankly.

"Where am I-" he started, only to stop as his eyes focused on her. "Oh, hi, DG!" He said cheerfully, than stopped, his face going blank as the gears his head turned almost audibly. He said solemnly, "I'm sorry, what was I saying?"

DG raised her free hand to his face, mere inches above hers, and mirrored his earlier actions. "I think you were about to say you love me," she whispered, watching as he leaned hungrily into her touch.

His eyes widened as he realized what she said. "I was?" He gulped loudly. "Um, were you going to say it back to me?"

She smiled, just a little shyly. "I think I was."

A relieved grin erupted on his face, and he finally pressed his lips against hers. "Well it's about time we got around to that."