Me: Guess what! I own Friday Night Lights!
Tami: Honey, there is no way that you possibly own Friday Night Lights.
Me: Shut up, I totally own Friday Night Lights!
Tami: I don't like your tone.
Me: *pouts, slumps shoulders, and hangs head* Sorry…
Lying in bed, Becky thought over the events of the past few days, and thinking over it Becky concurred that she knew it was a bad idea from the start. Of course, you couldn't really blame it all on her; I mean Tim was the one that dragged her over there. But still, Becky could have said no or sucked it up and not said anything. She could have figured it out on her own.
That's it; she should've stopped being a baby about the whole thing. Becky could have figured this out by herself. After all, she got herself into this mess; it was her responsibility to get out of it.
But of course, she just had to screw everything up like she always did. That's what she was from the start, her mother's screw up. And that was another thing, messing up was hereditary, another thing she could only partially be blamed for. It was only natural to follow in her mother's footsteps, getting pregnant and all. But she couldn't just be like her mother, and, although at times she was weak, and yes, she had unused potential, but at least she got through all of this. She got through all of this without tarnishing, ruining other peoples' lives.
Becky was but a burden on so many people now, all because one moment of error, one time of getting caught up in the moment.
First there was the obvious one, Luke. She should have resisted that night, she should have thought twice. Of course, she didn't feel that terrible for this one. It was just as much his fault as hers. But still, there must have been something she could've done, something she could've said.
Second was Tim. Tim who had always been there for her, Tim who she still loved deep down, Tim whom she was confused about. She loved them as a lover and liked him as a brother. Her teenage heart with a mixture of emotions, a puzzle yet to be solved. But none of that even mattered now. There were bigger things to worry about right now. Maybe someday she could solve the mystery of their relationship, but today didn't seem like the time.
Lastly was the one she felt most sorry about. This was the person she had hurt the worst. The only one that had truly cared about her when everyone else didn't, Tami Taylor. Amongst all of the adults in her life, she was the only one that had ever truly listened. Yes, deep down her mother cared, but she didn't want to listen to Becky. Mrs. Taylor did, you could just tell she wasn't acting, and as a reward she got her name and reputation burned and scorned by nearly everyone in town. She answered the door for her past midnight and sat and talked to her multiple times, not once butting in with her opinions. She just listened, and that was a nice change.
She felt grown-up but still like a child while talking to Mrs. Taylor. Like she could make decisions on her own, but would have advice if needed.
But that didn't matter anymore either. Mrs. Taylor probably resented her for all of this, and Becky didn't blame her. She didn't blame her one bit. She was costing her so much pain, tension, and possibly her job. The least she could do was apologize.
Becky stood outside of the now quite familiar door. She had an overwhelming sense of déjà vu, standing outside of the quaint little house. It was Tuesday night again, ironically enough, exactly a week since she had told Mrs. Taylor about her decision. It was about one o'clock, and everyone in the house was asleep. In fact, 98% of the town was probably asleep.
She stood outside the door for a few minutes, wondering if she should knock at this hour.
Okay, that was only partly true. She was also about to chicken out.
God, why was she always such a hypocrite? Why was she always so selfish? Why could she do nothing right at all?
She pondered a few more moments the question of whether to interrupt the poor woman's sleep for a useless apology. But she did owe her one, and if she didn't do it now she probably never would. So she quietly knocked on the door, regretting the decision, but also feeling relieved, a not uncommon rush of emotions submersing her presence.
She sat there a few minutes, about to walk off the porch. They probably didn't hear her, or just weren't home. Oh, who was she kidding, they were probably ignoring her, again not something she held against them.
Just as she turned her heel to walk away, the door opened, a groggy looking guidance counselor turning to meet her gaze. Becky waited for it, she really did, and she waited for the door to slam right in her face. Instead she heard a soft "Hey, Sweetie."
Whoa, Sweetie? Was that sarcastic? She didn't hear the bite in her voice, but it could just be subtle. She decided to work with it.
"Hi, I'm sorry to wake you up. I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry for getting you into…all of this," she said, twisting the cheap ring on her finger as she stated the lame-sounding apology. There was silence, and Becky finally looked up to meet Mrs. Taylor's face. She couldn't read her eyes, so she decided to finish. "Well…I just wanted to say that. Sorry again. Bye," she said attempting to leave again, but was interrupted a second time.
"Hold on a sec," Mrs. Taylor said, lightly touching her shoulder to keep her from walking away, "come inside for a minute, it's cold out here."
Becky gulped. Here it comes, the yelling, the screaming, and the disappointment. So this was how it was going to go down.
Tami guided her into the house, "did you walk all the way over here, Becky?" she questioned.
"Um, yeah. Look you really don't have to do this, I just came to apologize."
"Nonsense, and besides, what on earth are you doing walking in this temperature without a jacket?" Mrs. Taylor gently chastised, leading her onto the couch.
"Here, cover up with this, I'll put some tea on for you," she demanded, tossing a blanket at her from the footstool.
"No, really, I don't want to be a bother," Becky said standing back up.
"You aren't being a bother, now come on, sit."
Becky sat back down. It wasn't like she had a choice. Though coated with motherly concern, Mrs. Taylor didn't make requests, she wanted you to do something, and you had best do it.
The house continued to be silent as the older woman made and tea and Becky sat on the couch, twisting her fingers in discomfort and confusion.
"Sorry I woke you up," Becky apologized again, trying to fill the silence.
"Oh, not a problem. To be honest I haven't really been sleeping too well anyway, probably would have woken up soon," she answered, pouring the tea into two cups and handing one to Becky, joining her on the couch.
This scene was all so…wrong, and Becky called her out on it.
"Why don't you hate me?" Becky said, skipping to the point, looking her straight in the eye, the first time all night.
Tami wrinkled her eyebrows as she sipped her tea. "Why would I hate you, honey?"
"Because I'm screwing everything up for you, and usually when you screw everything up for someone the initial reaction is to hate the person!" Becky said in frustration.
Just then coach ran into the living room, fully decked out in Red Lion's pajamas, holding a baseball bat, "who's there?" and then, after spying Tami on the couch, "honey, are you all right?" he said, still half asleep.
"Yeah, hon, everything just fine. Go back to bed okay?" she said, shooing her disoriented husband back into the bedroom.
"M'kay," he muttered walking back into the room, accidently stubbing his toe on the doorframe, and whisper-cussing as he made his way back into the bedroom.
Tami shook her head and sigh-laughed as her watched him stumble back. She then turned back to Becky, her face going from amused to concern in record time. "Becky, I don't hate you."
"Why not?"
"Well, first of all, I don't like to hate anyone, I focus on forgiveness. And second, you did absolutely nothing wrong."
"You might get fired because of me, and you say did nothing wrong?"
"Becky, you needed help. You were going through a rough time. I'm glad you came to me. I want you to feel like you always have someone to talk to."
"I should have just figured it out myself," Becky said to herself, "I got myself into this situation, but I had to drag you into it," Becky said looking the other way, a tear forming in her eye. "What's wrong with me?"
"Becky," Tami said softly. "Becky, please look at me." Becky slowly turned to her.
"There isn't anything wrong with you. You're fifteen; you're going to make mistakes. Now I wish that you wouldn't have to deal with this. But you made it through it. And I'll make it through this. Everything will be okay."
"I'm didn't mean to get you into this."
"I know you didn't."
Becky could feel the burning in her throat and eyes, a sure-fire sign that tears were coming. "It sucks that you can't just resent me. That would make this a lot easier."
"Why's that?" Tami asked.
"Because if you hated me, then I wouldn't feel so guilty."
Tami sighed; she obviously wasn't getting through to this girl. She did the only thing she knew, and, although she knew it was risky, she slowly wrapped her arms around the girl.
Almost immediately after, she could hear the girl's sobs starting, and she put her head on her shoulder. She was quite literally a shoulder to cry on.
"Listen, I want you to stop blaming yourself."
"But how can I make it up to you?"
"Just keep doing well in school, and be a teenager. Take care of yourself Becky, that's all I want from you."
They both pulled away from the hug, Becky smiling tearfully, "Thank you, for being there I mean."
"If you ever need me, you know where to find me."
"I'm just going to go now," Becky said walking towards the door.
"Um, no you aren't. Absolutely not. You are letting me drive you home."
"I don't want to be any trouble."
Tami rolled her eyes, "girl, don't make me go over this again. Just get in the car before I go crazy on you, okay?" she chided, and ushered her out the door.
"Yes, ma'am."
"And Becky, next time you want to come over for a two o'clock chat, make sure to wear a coat. I swear one of these days you're going to give me a heart attack."
Becky smiled at the light scolding and hopped into the car feeling better than she had in a while.
Author's Note:
Like it? Hate it? The "what's wrong with me" is from the Matt/Coach episode, I know, but it was brilliant and wanted to add it here. Just a fluffy little one-shot. I feel like this relationship needed more attention, so here it was! I LOVE REVIEWS! =)
(Concerning my other stories) Hello, all! If you are waiting on my other stories, not to worry! They are coming soon! My computer died, and I am merely borrowing this one for now. My Twilight stories will probably be up in a few days when my computer has recovered.