A/N: I wrote a drabble for S5E3 after I couldn't handle Anna saying she was being stupid and John not saying anything after… I posted it on Tumblr after the episode first aired, but now I have come up with a few more drabbles, one from each episode of Series 5. They are "missing" scenes or extensions of existing ones, and not quite all the same style because I wrote them in a random order over the course of the last couple of months.
Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey.
I.
They had barely made it home when they hear the clanging of the fire engine. While it was something that they'd often hear when in London, it was very rare for them to hear it at home on the estate.
"Where do you think they're headed?" Anna asked, lifting her dress over her head. The couple had decided to go straight to bed, having had to remain longer at work that day.
John's eyes grew wide in a panic. "The abbey! It must be there." He had already discarded his tie and collar and now was rushing to get his jacket back on.
She paused. "Are you sure?"
"It has to be. It sounded like it was on main road." He clamored toward the stairs.
"Are you going back there?" She scanned the room and grabbed her day dress she had set out for tomorrow and pulled it on quickly, already knowing the answer.
"Yes!" he called as she joined him downstairs. He already had his overcoat on.
"Here," she said, taking a scarf off the peg and wrapping it around his neck, "at least wear this."
"We were just there. And what if it's upstairs? You were up there late with Lady Mary. What if something had happened?"
He didn't have to say "to you" but Anna could feel it. She breathed deeply and patted his lapels. "I am here with you now, and we are fine. But yes, we can go check, and I'm coming with you."
He gave her arm a squeeze.
II.
"You don't wish for any more children."
It hurt to lie. When it was one thing she so desperately wanted.
"Suppose I was a working woman with eight children and I didn't want any more."
She tried to shake the thoughts from her head and turned her focus on removing the pins from her hair.
But it wasn't that she didn't want more; it was that she didn't have any.
She poured the pins from her hand into the tin, giving them a shake after she closed the lid. Perhaps she didn't agree with what Lady Mary was doing – if she loved Lord Gillingham, why did she need to test him out in that manner? – but surely it was all right for a married woman to have such a device. Eight children would have be too many mouths to feed for so many couples.
"There is always abstinence."
You needn't tell her about that. Not when she'd been forced into it more than once. And how long it had taken to come out of that last period. She slammed the brush on the table, hoping it would jar her thoughts. But rather it was John, entering the bedroom, in his pajamas, book in his hand.
"Everything all right, darling?"
She opened her mouth, but remembered. The couple did gossip about their employers - there was an understanding as they were both personal attendants, but mostly because they were husband and wife. However, Lady Mary made it very clear to her not to tell a soul about this, mentioning him by name.
"Just thinking about what I should try to catch up on with Lady Mary gone." She faked a smile as she braided her hair. Now there was another secret between them. How she hated that…
She ached to get this jumble of feelings out, but she bit her tongue.
It just takes some people more time. That would be her mantra. One day they would be parents. Perhaps not to eight children but…
She tried to hold onto this thought, expelling the others, as she climbed into bed next to her husband.
III.
"Why are you putting me off?"
"I'm not doing any such thing." Anna put on her hat as John opened the door for her. She looped her arm around his as they walked out into the courtyard and headed home.
Knowing that she wasn't going to tell him, he decided to change the subject. It had been gnawing at him all evening, and his attempts to make light banter just now had fallen flat.
"You… you weren't being stupid earlier," he said softly. "If you want to leave, we can. We can go wherever you want. It's not stupid, not one bit."
She gave him a small, but grateful smile, and then took a deep breath. "I shouldn't have brought up it though, not then anyway. I'm just worrying."
"Let me worry with you." His voice was filled with tremendous concern.
Anna looked up at him, wanting to say so much, but not being able to. "Thank you," she managed to get out. Blinking back tears, she cleared her throat. "Maybe though, let's start with that night out you suggested."
John nodded and gave her a half smile. It wasn't enough, but it was a step in the right direction.
IV.
Anna exited Mrs. Hughes' sitting room. Her original plan had been to tell her she had gone to Piccadilly. Lady Mary had thought it odd she had gone there, and she really couldn't talk to John about it beyond what she had already. Not without her secret tumbling out. But no, she left Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes to their nightly sherry. The pavement had been crowded yesterday. That was enough for now.
She entered the servants' hall now. The maids and hallboys were all occupied gossiping about Miss Bunting and his lordships outburst at her. Anna settled down in the seat next to John, who was reading the newspaper. She gave his hand a squeeze.
"Ah, so you did miss me," he commented with a wink.
"I think that was quite clear earlier," she said lowly. "And it can be later too."
"Oh, I thought that kind of talk here was beneath us, Mrs. Bates," he replied grinning.
She swatted him gently on the arm. The rest of the servants were so loud with their laughter than no one took notice of the married couple.
V.
He had barely unpacked his lordship when it was decided that they weren't staying the night. That didn't bother John in the slightest though; he rather get back home early to his wife too. Lord Grantham was on edge about this Mr. Bricker character, although he was not saying as much. John could empathize…
The earl was kind enough to have Mr. Stark drop him off at the cottage so he wouldn't have to walk back. They'd worry about unpacking later. Again this worked to his favor.
"You're back early!" Anna said with a smile, at first a bit surprised. As he entered the cottage, he could see her via doorway to the sitting room. She was on the sofa, her legs up and slightly tucked under her, her book balanced onto the arm of the settee. "I take it the dinner was short."
"Apparently." He shrugged off his coat and then made his way across the room to her, leaning down to kiss her. "I'm surprised you're still up, with Lady Mary gone. You could have gone to bed early."
"I was busy sorting out some of her clothes, switching out the wardrobes with the warmer weather. And then when I did come home, I lost track of time." She lifted her book in emphasis. "I'm ready now, though." There was a twinkle in her eye.
VI.
"I'm so happy."
Their hands came together and she bestowed them with kisses of the deepest and purest of loves, such reverence. She couldn't suppress her smile as she rested her chin on them, the tears now ones of joy and relief.
But there was still one more thing to discuss.
"You… you definitely still want children? With me?" John needed to clarify just to be sure.
"Of course I do. Fervently."
"Then why is that device here if it's not yours?"
Anna sighed, trying to think of a way to explain. She rubbed her thumbs across his fingers. "Remember when you saw me hiding a paper bag in my jacket? I mentioned that someone wanted me to keep something for them?"
The final piece of the puzzle clicked in. "Lady Mary?"
She nodded. "Do not breathe a word of this to anyone. She specifically asked me not to tell you."
As a valet, he understood the loyalty to one's employer. "Not a problem. But how did you get a hold of such a thing?"
"The chemist's. The assistant was very judgmental. A married woman should be able to buy one if she needs it. Even if I don't need it… Trust me, it was not a pleasant experience." She shuddered a bit, but then focused on his hands.
He squeezed hers in return. "Well, I'm sorry that you were put through all that."
"It might have been worth it in the end though." She didn't need to explain why. The catalyst of their strife these past two days was also the key to finally clearing the air between the two, something that was long overdue. It just wasn't the relief of knowing he was innocent, but the relief finally no longer having to hide who it was who really attacked her lifted a burden from her shoulders, one that had been hindering her progress. Now the trust was truly back between them.
VII
He found her wringing her hands when he came down.
She grabbed his hand and pulled him further down the corridor.
"What's wrong?" Concern spread throughout his features.
"Mrs. Hughes just told me now. The police questioned Miss Baxter a few days ago."
"Why, what would she know?"
Anna took a deep breath. "She... Miss Baxter... she said that she thinks that there was... an 'incident.' When he was first here. Mrs. Hughes says that's how she worded it. An 'incident.'"
Her eyes were downcast. John reached out and gently stroked her arm. "Perhaps... perhaps she doesn't actually know. She certainly didn't tell them if she does, it seems."
She met his eyes with a sniff. "I'd be all right with her knowing as long as she told them nothing. But she told them something."
"It will be all right, the police can take to mean anything. It's nothing really new, given how she said it. And she wasn't even here when..." he trailed off.
He had wanted to like Miss Baxter. She always seemed kind and had formed some sort of bond with Mr. Molesley. But she still had some odd connection with Thomas, and now this... But there was something new. Something new to brood over.
VIII.
She was still shaking as she took his arm. He drew her as close has could, choosing on the journey to the house not to talk about what just happened. At first they were silent, but then he rambled a bit about how good of a tenant Mr. Brook had been, always paying the rent on time. So perhaps he had have been neat and there wouldn't be much to do.
"He had to have been tidier than Vera," he casually commented as they rounded to the corner, his mother's house now in sight.
Anna stiffened slightly. John regretted what he said at once, especially after she seemingly had calmed down. Anna had cleaned this house before – without him – because of that woman. And now they were going through some horrible reverse repeat of it all.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly as they went up the step, pausing as he fished out the key in his pocket.
If it came to it – and he did fear it in the back of his mind – he'd wait. This would have to wait. They'd fix it up together, like they planned many years ago. And one day they'd have all that they spoke of back on that night in the servants' hall in 1916.
IX.
They woke up naturally, the sheets haphazardly strewn across them. She snuggled in closer for warmth, hoping to steal some from his body and without having to sit up to pull the blanket over them. It was possible that the blanket on was on the floor anyway.
That thought made her giggle, and she buried her laughter into his shoulder.
"And what is so funny, darling?" John asked before planting a kiss upon her temple.
"Just silly thoughts about how messy this bed is now."
He grinned. "Happy Christmas."
Anna giggled some more. "Your wish did come true."
"I know," he replied, his voice becoming more gravelly with passion, "And the day has just begun."
She leaned up and caught his lips with hers. Breaking apart, she said, "I know you said to worry about it later, but how did you know it was all right to come back?"
He pursed his lips and then said cryptically, "I might have left a clue or two for his lordship."
"And yet not your wife." She tried her best to look disgruntled.
"I had to make sure they'd let you out."
She traced his collarbone with her finger. "The witness is apparently recanting," her voice quiet, "Mr. Murray says it will be official in few days, after the holidays."
"That's what is lordship said. And that Mr. Molesley and Miss Baxter were able to find out which pub I had lunch in, which is some feat because not even I could remember."
Her hand paused. "I didn't know that they did that. Probably a 'let's not tell Anna unless it works' scenario." She sighed.
"Well, it did work and here we are."
"Yes, here we are," she said, confidence again in her voice. "And now, I think it's time to get back to that happy Christmas."
And they had a happy Christmas indeed.
A/N: Thank you for reading!