A FORGOTTEN LETTER

Dear Mom,

... Life at Kunlun Mountain, has been quiet uneventful of late.

Since our return from the Purple Palace, the nosy High Goddess has not been a problem anymore and, for reasons you might understand, Shifu has locked up the cellar, probably trying to avoid trouble with any drunk disciple running around.

Between classes and cultivating, being a Student to High God Mo Yuan is quite different from what I expected. All things considered, it is actually quite boring.

Sometimes i miss my days playing on Ten Miles Peach Woods with Fourth Brother. I bet he is still having fun annoying Zhe Yan.

I'd probably be miserable among all this lectures and serious faces wasn't for a new friend.

One that, his fickle personality aside, seams to like me. Really like me.

I'm sure you are right now trying to understand how it came along, but as I myself have not figure it out yet, this question will have to be left for another day.

Still, somehow, and despite my best efforts i might ad, he seems to like me.

At first, he was just a clinging nuisance, refusing to let go. Like a very nosy, very loud puppy dog.

He is annoying, he is vain, he is incapable of thinking beyond his nose, and seems to have the enervating ability to show up everywhere. Sometimes i just want to shove his head on a hole in the ground to make him go away. Or just stop talking.

But then, once he is gone, I simply can't stop thinking, wanting his pestering self around me.

Li Jing is not strong, nor has high moral standards. I'm perfectly aware I should not like him.

In fact, i would have never chosen him myself.

We are completely wrong. Like two opposite forces colliding every time we meet – and I know nothing good will ever come out of it.

But I don't know if i can now. Send him away.

When he nags i get frustrated. But when he stops the only thing on my mind is how to find a way and make him go back to bickering with me. He sends me the most useless, girlish things, with no use whatsoever. But when he doesn't, I can't help wanting to throw a very large, very heavy stone at his head.

He seems to be always looking at me, watching me. His dark eyes always lazily around.

Mom, I know this letter will probably never be sent. That I won't have the heart to ask this from you and father.

To give your only daughter as a Princess to the Ghost realm.

Still, even as i write this words, I can't help but wish.

Is it wrong to wish? Wish we could just be together on a small hut, drinking when we are thirsty, eating when hungry... Just life. Pure, simple, and beautiful.

I...

The letter slid trhough Li Jing's frozen fingers, tears slowly sliding down his face as the truth finally sunk in.

A knot pressed on his throat, making it hard to breath, turning the large, spacious room suddenly stuffy.

How come he didn't notice before? His head fell back, a desperate, humorless laugh rocketing his body as tears still fell.

Oh Heavens, what kind of joke was that? Why make him love and loose, just to later find out the truth...

The laugh suddenly became full-on sobs, his kneed giving up under him as his body hit the ground painfully, hands grasping at his head.

It had been at his face all along. The truth. In every blush, every shy answer, every half answer... It was as if she was hinting at the truth, asking him to understand, to see beyond his eyes.

Still... At the end, he had failed her. Over and over, he failed her.

The way he had hurt the one person he had said he loved...

"It will always be you" he had told him a few nights earlier, as they sat at the entrance of their cave "It doesn't matter to me wether you are a man, a woman or even a Heavenly Beast. It is you. It is who you are that matters to me. It is enough.".

"Knowing your heart... Li Jing... That is enough for a lifetime".

But apparently it hadn't.

The Ghost Prince still couldn't understand what happened... Why had he fallen on that woman's trap? Why had he betrayed the person he loved like that? Without remorse, without looking back. Without a moment's hesitation.

After having so many concubines, after sleeping with so many, man and woman alike, he felt almost detached as Xuan Nu came to him. Her smile so sweet, her skin so soft against his. It was almost like holding his Sy'Ing to him... If only he could ignore the eyes. It didn't matter how good the disguise, Li Jing knew, he simply KNEW, deep in his heart, there would never be a pair of eyes like Sy'Ing's to him.

Her deep, caring, mischievous brown eyes.

Weak. Flawed. Suddenly, his image of himself became blurry, unwanted.

He looked down at the paper on the ground, the light, yellowish color a stark contrast with the cold, stone floor of Sy'Ing's chambers.

Everything was so quiet, so empty. There was not a single painting, not a clothe left around. Where once all his presents had stayed, now was only an empty, clean shelf.

Looking mockingly at him.

Stupid fool. How could you've been so blind?

She had loved him, just as much as he had loved her - maybe even more. But it didn't matter anymore. It was too late for them.

Their love was not meant to last. Just like the first snow... Coming and going with brightness and strength. Silently disappearing, till there was nothing left of its beauty. Just a sweet memory.

His eyes rose with the long whistled sound that reverberated through the walls. His heart hurt, a fist closing itself around the throbbing organ. His gaze strayed once more to the letter.

There was no excuse to stay there anymore. They had already gotten the strategy maps from Kunlun Mountain. He was supposed to go back now, to make sure his father had everything to win that war.

A war that might end up killing her.

"Sometimes destiny is deep... Yet fate is shallow", he whispered to himself, his deep, dark eyes slowly hardening as a new resolve took hold of him.

With one more deep breath, he turned around and headed to the door, the old letter stored carefully inside his vest, just over his heart.

He was ready.

For the firs time in his life, Li Jing, the unwanted, lazy Prince of the Ghost Tribes knew what to do.

And he wasn't scared anymore. Not even for a second.