In Spite of It All

Chapter 1: Facing the Truth

Leah Clearwater stared at her reflection in the mirror and continually told herself to calm down.

She couldn't lose control of her anger again, she couldn't phase in the bathroom where the only thing to take her anger off on was herself.

Her anger, her frustration, though, was just as tame as her werewolf self, which is to say the least, not tame at all.

She emerged two hours later with cuts on her back and blood on her fingernails; having lost what she felt was a pathetic battle. Her anger had subsided and was replaced by an incomprehensible sense of grief and fear. Jacob Black knew now. Upon her transformation, Jacob Black had heard her silent screams of anguish; Jacob Black knew her secret.

She now knew that she would have to tell Bella, there was no avoiding it. She would simply sit Bella down and tell her. She would plead with her, beg her if she had to. Because those feelings of anger, despair, and fear that Leah had tried to silence all stemmed from her deepest feeling of desire. A desire so strong that Leah couldn't fathom it; she didn't understand how to control it. And however uncertain Leah was about how to approach the situation, she was sure of one thing; that this feeling of desire and obsession was because she was a werewolf, it was because she had imprinted.

As the thought rushed through her head, she begged her anger to remain still, she didn't want to phase again, she didn't want to hear what Jacob would be thinking. She didn't want to hear his pity.

At that moment Leah Clearwater would have given anything to be somebody, anybody else. Somebody who could be furious without being fearful of killing someone. Somebody who didn't have her love stolen from her by a serious injustice. Somebody who wasn't forced to "love." Somebody, who wasn't a werewolf and somebody who hadn't imprinted on Edward Cullen.

By the time Bella Swan had made her way to La Push, Leah had already changed her mind on what to tell her. She didn't know what she would do, or what she would say, or even if she could say anything to her.

She would try to explain how this wasn't her fault, how imprinting was undying and that it wasn't love she possessed for Edward, it was obsession and passion. Imprinting to Leah was merely its name; it was just an indentation, a hollow mark that would stay forever on her heart. No, her feelings towards Edward had barely scraped the surface of love, however she felt that she would do anything for him. It was a complex emotion and Leah despised it.

However, a deep intuition tugged and clawed at Leah's heart, she knew Bella would not leave Edward. More importantly, she knew Edward wouldn't leave Bella. Leah tried desperately to not imagine where that would leave her. Perhaps she thought dreadfully, that she would simply remain a werewolf forever. Forever, with Jacob, for she knew her anger would never subside if she saw Bella and Edward embrace in matrimony. She scoffed at the thought.

Then a new thought, an idea arose next to Leah's clawing intuition—Jacob Black. If there was one person who hated the union of Bella and Edward, more than herself, it was Jacob and she knew that Jacob was just as desperate for Bella's attention as Leah was for Edward's. She knew that he would do anything for Bella.

But before Leah could formulate a plan for the separation of the two, she was interrupted by a knock at the door that was surly Bella. While Leah hesitantly opened the door, she scrambled inside her thoughts for how to execute this idea, she wondered if Jacob would follow along, and she wondered what she would tell Bella just now, the more pressing matter at the moment.

But it was Bella, who Leah had thought she would never stop hating, it was Bella who answered her thoughts.

"What's the matter Leah, has something happened?" Bella asked innocently when she saw the dry tears on Leah's face.

Leah thought hard on how to answer the question and tentatively replied, "It's, well, I--I've imprinted." Bella didn't know how to respond, clearly this was bad news otherwise Leah's face wouldn't have looked so defeated. "But, but isn't that good?" Bella answered stupidly.

And then a look of comprehension spread over Bella's face, into a frown and she instantly replied, "It's alright if you've imprinted on Jacob, it's okay I understand, I'll be alright, besides I'm with Edward now, it doesn't matter now." And Bella desperately tried to convince herself that Jacob didn't matter to her anymore, that she could still look at Jacob without, without feeling as though she had made the wrong decision.

Leah stuttered, she was trying to correct Bella to find the words to explain to her, but then Leah's face turned into a grin that she couldn't suppress. Bella had just unintentionally given Leah the plan in which she could steal Edward.

Leah replied, "Bella, your understanding means so much but Jacob, well, he still loves you." And all Bella could say to that was, "Oh."