Broken Glass: A vicTORIous Tragedy

"Like a rotten log half buried in the ground –

My life, which has not flowered,

Comes to this sad end."

Minamoto Yorimasa

My Name was Jadelyn Natalie West, but everyone who valued their life called me Jade. I was tall, thin, and beautiful. I had streaks of color in my hair, and I had pierced my nose and eyebrow the day after my mom told me I couldn't. I had been popular, and had the best looking boyfriend at Hollywood Arts High school. I was going to be an Actress, a star. I had so much a head of me. I had been the envy of the whole school. Now look at me.

As I lay there, I could hear everything. I could hear the Ambulance as it pulled up. I could hear my friends call my name. I could hear it all. I could hear Tori telling Beck, My Beck that they had to get me to the hospital. I could Hear Cat's shrill yelp as she saw what had happened. I heard Robbie's puppet, Rex, hit the ground. I could hear Andre's honest voice saying how bad I actually looked. Honestly, for the first time in my life, and probably the last, I was willing to admit I was happy they were with me.

"Jade?" The voice was calling for me or to me or something along those lines. "Jade?" Beck? I wished I could call out. Beckley James Oliver! I wanted to scream it, but nothing came out of my mouth. I was so dead. No, literally dying. I wanted to see him, but the world was black around me. Only the sound of Beck's voice remained.

I was numb. I was dead…or as good as dead…I was definitely dying. All that remained was Beck. I tried to remember the way my Beck had looked. His long hair, his easy smile, his kind eyes…he'd always deserved so much more than me. He deserved Tori, who was sweet and kind, and had an easy laugh that floated on the air. Tori. She never knew that. I never told her that I never had hated her, that in reality I had just been Jealous.

Now it just seemed so stupid. I thought about my friends. Robbie, who, despite hi s dorky personality was fairly entertaining to watch carry out conversations with his dummy Rex. Cat and her Bubbly personality and Red Velvet hair. Andre and his laid back and honest way of doing things. If you had asked me the day before if I would have admitted to this I would have told you to stand on the Interstate during rush hour.

"Baby, it's okay, we're almost there." No, Beck, we're not, not soon enough. I wanted to tell him. Tori: she always deserved you more than me. But I couldn't speak. I was too far gone, and if I was talking, I couldn't tell. Everything seemed so far away now. "The pain will go away soon, Baby." It already has. I wanted him to know, it stopped a long time ago. Hours ago… it had been hours that I'd been like this right? It felt like a long time ago. Like an eternity.

That's how I knew, that's how I could tell I was dead. There was no pain, nothing but Beck's sweet, vulnerable voice. "Baby, I need you…please wake up. Baby, Please, come back." His voice, Beck's voice, it sounded so tired, so distant. So this was it. This was how it would all end. All of it, everything was for nothing. No, it was for something, it was for Beck.

At that moment I remember thinking, this is a mistake…Only the good die young, and I wasn't good, I wasn't worth the tears that my friends would shed looking back on my short existence. I wasn't worth the tears that Beck would cry. Beck, Tori, Trina, Cat, Robbie, Andre, please don't cry for me. I don't deserve it. "Jade… Baby…Jade!" Beck's voice faded more and more. And the blank void around me became more of a void. I was becoming more numb with each passing second. Suddenly Beck's voice was gone. My life never flashed before my eyes, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Everything just went black, I could no longer hear, no longer feel. My mind, which had been racing, was slowing to a stop. No! I couldn't die. I couldn't die yet! I never got to do half of the things I had wanted to…I never starred in a Broadway show, I never got to get married, I never told my friends how much they meant to me. I never told Beck I loved him, not really, I mean, I'd said it. But I never really was completely sure, not until now…only now it's too late…

My Name was Jadelyn Natalie… My Name was Jadelyn...My Name was Jade…Jade… My Name was…My Name…

The End