I hope my smile
can distract you
I hope my fists
can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you'll never know

Jess held her tightly to him, as if trying to keep her from slipping away. But it was useless; she was already gone.

Sure they loved each other. But that love was the love of a memory. The love of two kids who didn't know any better. Clinging to her now wouldn't do any good.

I hope my love
can blind you
I hope my arms
can bind you
So you'll never have to see
What we've grown to be

Rory wanted to be with him. Of course she did. But it was just too hard.

He had changed. She had changed.

Their months together had been a ruse. Both pretending to be people they no longer were.

At first things had been okay. Not better not worse. But now…? Were they even okay?

She felt him pull her closer to him, but she continued to feign sleep. It was easier that way. Turning around to face him would only force her to face the cold, unforgiving truth.

One may think
we're alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We're not okay

Each day together was more challenging; the distance between them was ever-expanding. He told himself that far off look in her eye was about work, or her mother left behind, or her friends back in Connecticut. He told himself she thought of him as they kissed, as they caressed, as they made love.

He took in the scent of her clean skin, her freshly washed hair, her light perfume. How many nights would he have left with her? How long before she went back to the rich boy?

One may think
we're alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We're not okay

She told herself that she had forgotten about him. Logan. She told herself that Jess was the one who gave her goosebumps, who made her excited to start the day, who was her equal, her soul mate.

Rory ignored the excessive drinking, the occasional drug use, and the violent temper.

Otherwise, how would she get through each day?

One may think
we're doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We're losing ground
with every passing day
We're not okay

His coworkers thought he had the perfect relationship with the perfect girl. He didn't want to admit to them, to himself, that it was ending. That it was over.

Jess was sure in his knowledge that it was over. But he didn't want the woman sleeping silently in his arms to know. Though he was sure she already did. She was a partner in this thing. How could she not know?

The strain of it all was weighing on him heavily. It was harsh, not knowing when she would pick up and leave him—for she would have to do the leaving. He would never leave. Even if he was stuck in this hell the rest of his life.

But that's one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That's one thing
I would never say to you

She was sick of it all. Sick of tiptoeing around each other. Sick of putting on a smile when she wanted to run and hide. Sick of the pain he instilled in her heart.

But how to escape unscathed?

She had been the one to go to him. She had shown up at his door here in Philadelphia and he had taken her in. She'd known that he would.

But now? Now it was a shell of what it once was. All of it. Their conversation, their feelings, their lives together.

She reveled in the feeling of having his arms around her, for, she told herself, it would be the last time.

No.

They weren't okay.

But that's one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That's one thing
I would never say to you