Title: Sunny Days
Author: Emily Waters
Beta: whitehound
Summary: The story of the Doe Patronus
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Language, cruelty to animals.
Sunny Days
It was an unusually sunny day, the kind that was rare this late in the autumn. The small clearing in the forest was a meadow full of golden grass, peppered by tiny purple bursts of lavender flowers. The buzzing of the bees and dragonflies, and the rare cries of birds were the only sounds punctuating the silence, until two sets of footsteps announced the arrival of two fourth year students.
"Severus, we aren't supposed to be here!" Lily whispered with alarm. "Dumbledore said that there are cockatrice traps here, we could get really hurt! Or worse – expelled!"
"We won't. I know the way," Severus said confidently.
"All right," Lily said dubiously, but when her fingers laced with his, he noticed her hand trembling a bit.
Severus turned to look at his friend, loving the sight of her by his side. She looked like a sunny autumn day, he thought – her blazing red hair falling on her shoulders, and her scarlet and gold jumper, were just like the colours of the autumn grass and leaves.
"Don't worry, I won't let you get hurt," Severus said quietly. "I just want to show you something. Look over there."
Lily's gaze followed the direction of Severus' hand and she issued a small gasp of wonder when she saw a pair of deer – a fawn and a doe, lying in the grass.
"We can come closer," Severus said. "They won't run."
Slowly, carefully, they approached the pair of animals, stopping within about ten feet of them. The mother lifted her head to cast an indifferent glance at the students, but did not move from her position. The fawn rested its head on the mother's back.
"He's so tiny," Lily said excitedly. "He still got all his spots!"
"Yeah, he's very small," Severus said quietly. "I've never seen one this young before... here," he added, reaching into his pocket to pull out a small apple. "You can toss it to them. They'll eat it."
"Are we allowed to feed them?" Lily said dubiously.
"Um, not really," Severus conceded, "but this is just an apple from one of the trees in the forest... so it's not like you're giving them something they wouldn't normally eat."
Lily didn't need much convincing. She threw the apple, and it hit the ground a few feet away from the deer. The fawn stirred, stood up, and walked towards the apple, nuzzling it awkwardly. The mother followed shortly, and gently nudged the fawn's head away from the apple. For a second, the two were engaged in a lazy, gentle, half-hearted struggle, until the fawn ceded the fruit to the mother. The doe proceeded to eat the apple, and the fawn poked its head under her belly, and began to suckle.
Severus cast a quick glance at Lily, whose mouth was forming a silent "o" of wonder. He gave her a small smile, and stared at the animals again. He had seen this pair many times before, but this was the first time that he had observed the fawn nurse. Watching it stirred some strange emotions that Severus didn't know how to account for: a wave of resentment, mingled with nostalgic longing, as if he was witnessing something that had eluded him all his life. He felt a burning in his eyes and looked away quickly.
To his relief, Lily didn't seem to notice his discomfort. "I wonder why they don't run away from us," she said softly.
"They have some natural predators here, but they haven't been hunted by humans in over a hundred years. They know we won't harm them," Severus explained, forcing his voice to a neutral tone.
"That's good. I could watch them for hours. Do you think we could get closer?"
"Probably, but I don't think we should," Severus said quietly. "For all we know, the buck could be somewhere nearby."
"He'd be friendly too, don't you think?" Lily said hesitantly.
"Maybe, but I wouldn't bet my life on it," Severus said wryly.
"Ah."
Just then, a series of loud, boisterous footsteps were heard, followed by very familiar, unpleasant laughter. Severus swore under his breath.
"Them again?" Lily murmured, clearly recognizing the Marauders' voices, and clearly displeased. "What, do they follow you or something?"
"I wouldn't put it past them," Severus muttered, while making a quick retreat into the bushes, dragging Lily along. Together, they took cover behind the generous greenery.
"Whatever you do, don't jump out and try to fight them," Lily advised softly. "Let's just wait this one out."
"You don't have to convince me," Severus said tiredly, even as his stomach was in a knot at the anticipation of being discovered. The confrontations rarely went well with four against one – and the times he could confront Potter or Black alone were few and far in between. Severus was clutching his wand tightly, forcing himself to take and let out small, barely audible breaths. Next to him, Lily was completely silent.
A minute later the Marauders entered the clearing, James Potter walking in first, Pettigrew and Black on his heels. Lupin trailed behind, muttering half-hearted protests.
The doe and the fawn turned their heads to cast a quick look at the small group of students, but didn't make a move to run off, or even get up. A moment later, the animals returned to rest peacefully in the shade cast by the forest trees.
"What are you complaining about now?" James turned around to stare at Lupin. "Come on, Remie, it'll be fine."
"Just ignore him," Pettigrew said, resting his hand on James' shoulder. "He always finds something to bitch about."
"I just don't think we should be here, all right?" Lupin pointed out. "The Cockatrice traps, remember?"
"Well, don't go hopping off into the woods, and you'll be all right," James snapped. "Now, do you want to learn the Patronus charm or not?"
"I just don't think..."
"I want to learn the charm," Pettigrew said quickly.
"Me too," Black added, and flashed Lupin an encouraging grin. "Come on, enough with the worries. Live a little."
"Well then. Take out your wands," James proceeded to instruct them. "Take a moment to focus and calm yourselves. Think back to the happiest, safest memory you've got. Center yourselves – don't allow anything to distract you. Flick your wand and say the spell..."
Three flicks of wands were followed by the words spoken in unison. "Expecto Patronum!"
Lupin's and Black's wands each produced a small sparkle of silver light that died as quickly as it appeared. Pettigrew's charm produced nothing at all.
"Again!" James said, clearly enjoying the role of the instructor, Severus thought derisively.
"Expecto Patronum!"
Severus couldn't suppress a slightly malicious smirk at the failed attempts of three of his rivals to produce the charm. Lily rolled her eyes and smirked as well.
For a good half hour, Severus and Lily watched the futile attempts of Lupin, Black and Pettigrew to produce anything more significant than a small burst of light that waned as soon as it emerged from the tips of their wands.
"What are you thinking about?" James demanded, turning around to face Lupin.
"Um... I guess, the time you three found out... and didn't freak out," Remus said softly.
Found out what? Severus wondered privately.
"Well, maybe you have to think of something better," James said.
"I haven't got anything better," Remus said quietly.
"Then it'll have to do," Black said firmly. "It's a good thought, Remie. We'll always be with you, you know?"
"I know," Remus said quietly, "but it's no use. I just can't do it now."
"I know. I can't make it happen either," Sirius said grimly.
"Well, maybe your magical power isn't there yet," James said nonchalantly. "I hear that you need to be a very strong wizard to cast one – and only very few cast full-bodied Patroni in the first place."
"Oh, now that's a comforting thought," Pettigrew said. There was a slight hint of jealousy in his voice that James picked up on and chuckled benignly. "Don't hate me because I'm better than you," James said teasingly, and threw a playful punch against Peter's shoulder.
"Well, if you feel the need to brag, just show us yours again," Sirius said, smiling.
"Yes, show us yours!" Pettigrew said quickly. "I want to see it again!"
"Not here," James said, inclining his head to point to the animals lying in the grass.
"Yeah, here!" Black said. "Come on, cast your Patronus right in front of them, it'll be funny!"
"Yeah, maybe the stupid deer will try to mate with it," Pettigrew said, giving a loud, unpleasant laugh.
"You're disgusting. Disgusting and retarded," Lupin said, but squinting through the bushes, Severus could tell that Lupin was amused by the suggestion. Severus himself remained mystified – mate with what? Severus cast a quizzical glance at Lily, but she just shrugged her shoulders in confusion.
James let out an exaggerated sigh. "If you insist," he said with poorly feigned modesty, pointing his wand at a spot a few feet away from the pair of animals. "Expecto Patronum!"
A bright silver stream of light emerged from the tip of his wand, growing in intensity until, a few seconds later, it materialized into an enormous silver image of a stag. Lily covered her mouth with her hand, and Severus choked down a surprised yelp.
Startled by the huge silver stag, the fawn and the doe leapt to their feet and bolted off into the woods at the same time. Something snapped, there was a bright flash of light of another kind, and a strange, keening, piercing noise, resembling a child's cry.
"Oh shit!" Black shouted. "The bloody thing got itself caught in a Cockatrice trap!"
"No way!" Lupin's voice was shaking slightly.
"Way," Pettigrew said with an odd calm. "The bloody thing was that stupid."
"We've got to help it," James said. "We should tell someone..."
"No!" Lupin snapped suddenly. "Are you mad? We aren't supposed to be here in the first place! You'll be expelled for this!"
"They won't expel me," James said, but there was a small note of doubt in his voice.
The deer issued another loud screeching noise, followed by a pitiful call of the fawn.
"Let's get out of here!" Lupin said. "Come on, James!"
"I think it's bleeding," James said, squinting to look ahead.
"They'll find it when they're checking the traps in the evening," Lupin said firmly. "It'll be fine without us! James, come on! Think with your brain for a bloody minute! If you get expelled... you can go to any other school – but what about me?"
"Lupin is right," Pettigrew echoed, pulling on James' sleeve. "It's not your fault. It's not our fault. It was an accident. Let's get out of here, now!"
The four of them took off and exited the meadow quickly, Lupin leading the way, Pettigrew, Black and Potter following quickly. The meadow was empty once again.
"I don't believe them!" Lily exclaimed indignantly. "Make a mess of things and run? They shouldn't be in Gryffindor!"
"They shouldn't be in Hogwarts, period," Severus muttered, rising to his feet, and sprinting to run in the direction of the doe's distressed cry. Lily followed closely, holding her wand in her hand.
They reached the animals within a minute. The deer's hind legs were caught in a large metal trap, with a small web of magical energy surrounding it. The bones, as far as Severus could see, were broken, and the animal was bleeding, crying out, and becoming more and more panicked every second.
"Do something!" Lily demanded. Her face was flushed, and her eyes were moist with tears ready to spill.
"All right, let me think," Severus said.
The deer another anguished cry, and the fawn rushed towards it. Quickly, Severus shoved the small animal away.
"Okay, I have an idea," Severus said. "Try not to freak out, all right?"
"Right," Lily said quietly.
Forcing himself into calmness, he pointed his wand at the doe. "Stupefy," he said quietly, and a moment later, the deer collapsed unconscious at their feet.
"What did you do that for?" Lily asked with obvious distress in her voice.
"I wasn't about to drag a kicking, injured deer on my back all the way to Hogwarts, if that's all right with you," Severus said, kneeling in front of the animal. "I know it looks harsh, but at least this way, she won't resist us while we're trying to help her."
"That's... clever," Lily said cautiously, following to join Severus on the ground. Her own wand pointed at the trap. "Relashio," she said, and the web of energy released its prey. The metal part of the trap remained tightly clasped around the doe's feet. "It's still trapped!"
"I can see that," Severus said. "Move over."
Lily shifted to the side, and Severus knelt by the deer, trying to quell the instant queasiness that followed the sight of blood. "I know a spell," he said hesitantly, "but I don't know if it'll work on metal. It works on plants... and stuff."
"Try it," Lily said miserably. "I doubt you could make things worse."
"All right," Severus muttered, aligning the tip of his wand with the jagged edges of the trap. "Sectumsempra," he said very quietly, and the metal yielded to the charm, as the trap was sliced into several large pieces. As carefully as he could manage, Severus pulled the sharp metal teeth of the trap from the wounds in the animal's legs.
"Now what?" Another quiet question followed from Lily.
"I don't know. I guess we carry the animal back to the school, drop it off with Hagrid, and hope to hell we don't get expelled," Severus said grimly.
"I don't want to be expelled," Lily whispered miserably. "But I guess they don't look kindly on students wandering this deep into the forest..."
"Well, if you like, I can do this alone," Severus offered stoically, even though his stomach twisted into one tight knot at the thought of being left to deal with an injured animal, and questioning adults, all on his own.
"You aren't doing this alone," Lily said sharply, her voice hard as steel. "We're friends, remember? I'm just saying, maybe there's a better way to do this... can you pick it up and carry it?"
"Hmm..." Severus cast a dubious glance at the unconscious doe. "I guess I could levitate it..."
"Through a forest? You'd be bumping it into trees with every step," Lily dismissed the idea quickly. "Let's conjure a stretcher."
"Go ahead," Severus said. "You are better at Charms."
A few spells later, a stretcher materialized on the ground. Together, Lily and Severus deposited the injured animal onto it. Lily took the front of the stretcher and Severus picked up the back end.
"I'll lead the way," Lily said. "I know a spot.... I think I can find it from here. Follow me."
She began to walk, following a barely perceptible path in the woods, with Severus matching her pace, as the weight of the stretcher rested in his palms.
"Here, boy," Lily called out, turning her head to the fawn. "Come with us. We'll take care of your mummy, all right? She'll be okay! Here, boy!"
The fawn trailed a few paces behind them, uttering tiny, plaintive cries.
They continued to walk for what seemed like a quarter of an hour. The branches of the trees whipped at their arms and faces, and the forest grew darker with every step, but Lily never slowed down, and neither did Severus. The little fawn continued to follow them, visibly upset, but determined not to let its injured mother out of sight.
"It's going to be all right," Lily said again. "Really, I've got an idea..."
"Let's hear it, then."
"We're almost there – oh, there it is." Lily's chin pointed to a small hill with what looked like a cave entrance.
"In there?" Severus asked. "Have you been there before?"
"I just found it last week. It's dry and safe." Lily's bright green eyes flashed with something like amusement. "Don't worry, I won't let you get hurt," she said teasingly.
"Throwing my words back at me, huh?"
"Maybe," she said unrepentantly. "Now, let's get her in."
Getting inside the cave was an awkward affair, but they managed to make it in without an incident. They lowered the stretcher, and Lily let out a sigh of genuine relief when the doe was resting on the ground, and the fawn entered the cave, curling up next to the mother, and burying its face in the doe's side.
"Now," Lily said decisively. "You wait here, and I'll go back to school. I'll steal some healing potions from the Hospital Wing..."
"I thought you didn't want to get expelled," Severus pointed out.
"They'll never know," Lily said dismissively.
"No," Severus said firmly. "I should be the one stealing the potions... I'll know which ones to take...I think..."
"I'm every bit as good at potions as you are!" Lily said indignantly, her arms crossed on her chest.
"Maybe you are," Severus said reasonably, "but I'm better at stealing."
Lily's expression changed to one of amusement. "I guess you're right," she admitted. "Well, fine then."
Severus shifted uncomfortably, suddenly unnerved by the idea of leaving Lily in the Forbidden Forest all alone. "Look, just don't make any sounds, and if something dangerous comes this way..."
"I can take care of myself," Lily snapped impatiently, "now hurry!"
"Okay," Severus said, still not liking the thought of abandoning his friend alone in the woods. "I just..."
"Are you scared to walk through the woods alone?" Lily asked gently, without any accusation in her voice.
"No," Severus said. "I just... don't want to leave you alone."
"I won't be alone," Lily said quietly and inclined her head slightly to point to the doe laid at rest on the cave floor. "It'll be okay. Really."
"Okay," Severus said again.
He exited the cave, and Lily followed him out to see him off. He found himself hesitating again. For a brief second, he thought she might scold him, but Lily didn't. Instead, she scooped him up into a tight, fierce hug. "Come back soon," she said quietly. "You'll find your way back to me, won't you?"
"Yeah," he said. His breath caught in his throat slightly, when her hand stroked his long, messy hair just once and rested on his back. "Always."
"Okay. Go." With those words, Lily released him from her embrace.
Severus ran as quickly as he could, but not without turning back to cast one final look at her, standing by the entrance of the cave, with her wand in her hand.
~ * ~
It took him half an hour to find his way out of the woods, and another ten minutes to make his way through the school hallways, running the entire time. The students were casting curious, alarmed glances at him, but he didn't stop for a moment, until he reached the entrance to the Hospital Wing.
And just as he found himself standing in the doorway, with Madam Pomfrey staring at him in alarm, he realized how badly he'd thought everything through.
"Severus? Are you hurt, dear?" The healer inquired.
"What? No!"
"Your clothes," she said, striding towards him in quick, confident steps. "There's blood on them."
"It's not mine," Severus said, and cursed under his breath, realizing belatedly that this last statement likely didn't do much to reassure the vigilant healer. "I mean, it's not blood," he corrected himself quickly. "It's something else."
"If you say so," she said, her lips pressed together into a thin line. "So, what brings you here?"
Shit.
"Professor Slughorn sent me to pick up something," Severus said smoothly. "He needs a healing potion..."
"Really," Madam Pomfrey looked at Severus speculatively. "What type of healing potion?"
"I, uh, this is really embarrassing – I forgot the name," Severus improvised quickly, confident that he was blushing from head to toe. "The kind that can heal bleeding and broken bones in an animal."
"What type of animal?" Madame Pomfrey continued her interrogation, her brows furrowing slightly to form a clearly suspicious scowl.
"What?"
"Is it a magical creature? Is it a Dark Creature? Is it a mammal? Is it a herbivore or a carnivore? How big is it?" The healer was firing off the questions at Severus in rapid-fire succession.
"Um, let's say it's not a magical creature. Say it's a mammal. A herbivore. About, maybe a hundred and some pounds..." Severus answered quietly, having the distinct impression that every detail he volunteered sealed his ultimate doom.
"Ah," the mediwitch mused, and Severus noticed her entire body relax slightly at his response. "So, undoubtedly, Professor Slughorn needs the Heal-All Draught Number Eight. Two teaspoons per stone of the hypothetical animal's body weight will heal the aforementioned creature's injuries. I can't help but wonder why Professor Slughorn is sending you to request the potion he brewed for me two months ago," Severus' heart sank at Madam Pomfrey's casual statement, but she continued speaking. "I imagine the Professor is working on improving the formula, and he wants a sample to compare it to. Isn't that right?"
Severus lifted his eyes timidly to see a genuinely warm, conspiratorial smile on Madame Pomfrey's face.
"Yes," Severus said, cautiously matching her smile. "That's exactly it."
Madam Pomfrey's smile grew a bit bigger.
"You're such a terrible liar, Severus." There was no accusation in her voice, but a strange twinge of sadness that Severus didn't know how to account for.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, shifting uncomfortably on his feet.
"Oh, no, no. Don't you dare to be sorry." To his shock, her arms wrapped around him, and she hugged him as if he were a small child, and Severus froze instantly, not quite knowing what to make of it. Lily's hugging made sense to him. They were friends, after all. He didn't understand why an adult would want to hug him, and he stood stiff in her embrace, while Madam Pomfrey ran her finger through his hair. "Children like you – kind, open, wearing your heart on your sleeve, make my day, you know." Noticing his growing discomfort, she released him quickly. "Now, you'd better run. Give my best to Professor Slughorn. Oh, and you might want to tell him that I'll have a word with the groundskeeper tonight. I think the current traps for the Cockatrice are needlessly cruel. I reckon he purchased the best commercial traps available, without really thinking how they'd work..."
"That's great!" Severus said, and added quickly, "I – uh, I'll tell him that."
He turned around and ran, clutching the bottle of precious potion in his hand.
~ * ~
"What took you so long?" Lily demanded, the moment Severus poked his head inside the cave. "I was getting worried!"
"Sorry," Severus apologized instantly. "Was I gone long?"
"Not too long," Lily admitted grudgingly. "Not even two hours." She was sitting on the floor of the cave, hugging her knees. The doe was still unconscious, with the fawn resting by her side, its head tucked away. Severus glanced at the animal and noticed makeshift bandages on her legs, that Lily had put on to stay the bleeding. "Let's wake her and feed her the potion."
"Okay," Severus said. "Go ahead."
Lily took a deep breath and pointed her wand at the doe. "Rennervate."
The doe awoke with a start, and made a rushed, convulsing movement, attempting to rise to her feet. She gave an anguished cry as her broken hind legs refused to cooperate, but she proceeded to crawl towards the exit of the cave in desperate, startled thrusts.
"Hey, hey, just wait, not just yet," Lily said quickly, in a calm, soothing voice, standing between the doe and the exit.
Another distressed call, and the doe's entire body shuddered as she made another desperate, futile attempt to rise to her feet.
"I don't think she'll drink it in this state," Lily said, wincing in sympathy. "I don't know what to do! Isn't there a spell to put the potion right inside her?"
"There might be, but I don't know it," Severus said, as another wave of anxiety assaulted him. For a brief moment, he thought that they might end up carrying the doe all the way to school after all, but then a flash of inspiration struck.
"Okay," Severus said almost calmly. "I have an idea. Promise not to freak out... much."
Lily nodded her head quickly.
"Cover your ears," Severus snapped, and Lily obeyed quickly.
Severus pointed his wand at the doe. He took a deep breath and focused himself, trying not to think too much about the repercussions of what he was about to do. The animal in front of him continued to thrash in agony.
"Imperio," Severus said. For a moment, he wondered if he'd failed, but the doe's body relaxed, and she turned her head towards him, looking at him expectantly. A moment later, the deer's mouth opened, and Severus poured the potion into it. The small trickle of liquid made its way down the deer's throat and the animal swallowed several times.
"Good, very good," Severus said softly. "Now sleep."
Obediently, the doe did just that – lay on the ground, and drifted off. The fawn made a small plaintive noise, and went to its mother, snuggling up next to her, and pushing its head under her belly.
Severus' hand trembled slightly when he lowered his wand. Next to him, Lily was staring at him in shock. "Are you completely mad?" Lily demanded at once. "You've just cast an Unforgivable! Never mind expelled, this sort of thing could land you in Azkaban!"
"I told you to cover your ears," Severus whispered apologetically. "You weren't supposed to know."
"I watched you. I saw your lips move."
"Oh," Severus muttered, suddenly feeling worn out beyond all reason. He lowered himself down onto the cold cave floor and stretched to lie on his side, his arm tucked under his head.
"Are you sick?" Lily asked with concern. "Does casting an Unforgivable make you sick?"
"No. I'm not sick, really. Just tired. I'm okay."
Lily sighed loudly and collapsed on the ground next to him. For a few minutes they lay on the floor facing each other. His eyes half-shut, he continued to look at her, finding himself drowning in her. His eyes were suddenly damp again, and then, his vision grew blurry, and only two colours continued to swim in front of him – the green glow of her eyes, and the brilliant red of her hair... green, like the summer behind them, he thought suddenly, and red, like the autumn leaves.
"What was that other spell you used earlier?" Lily asked.
"Sectumsempra," Severus confessed, having no energy for evasion or dissembling.
"Where did you learn it?"
"Nowhere."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I made it up this summer," Severus muttered. "It's really not that big a deal."
"What does it do?"
"You saw what it does. It cuts things."
"Is it Dark Magic?" Lily continued to question him.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't like fighting with you," Severus said simply, shutting his eyes.
Lily was silent for a long minute. "I don't like fighting either," she said finally.
Another long, agonizingly painful silence ensued, with Severus lying on his side, wondering if he'd said too much, or irritated her too much this time. Just as the tension became nearly unbearable, to Severus' surprise, Lily's hand reached out to find his, and he couldn't credit how much comfort and reassurance he found in that simple touch.
"Are you okay?" Lily asked again.
"Fine," he said sincerely, giving her fingers a small squeeze. "I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"I don't know. Everything."
"It's okay. Why did you do it?" Lily asked, but this time, not accusingly. "Cast the Unforgivable, I mean. You know you aren't supposed to..."
"I know," Severus agreed, not feeling inclined to argue. "I just... she was in pain, and I didn't want her to hurt anymore. It's the only thing I could think of."
"I understand, I guess," Lily admitted reluctantly.
"Thanks."
Lily crawled towards him then, and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Let's just rest together for a bit," she whispered. "When we wake up, the deer will be all healthy again."
"Okay." Severus lay on his back, wrapped his arms around Lily, and pulled her to lie on top of him. "Just don't sleep on the ground. It's cold."
"Aren't you cold?" she murmured, but didn't make a move to climb off him. Instead, she settled comfortably against him, and rested her head on his chest. "I'm not too heavy for you?"
"Not at all," he said. The ground was really quite... cold. The chill was beginning to seep into his entire body, his back and legs were beginning to cramp up, and he knew he would pay for it tomorrow... but he also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that right now he wouldn't trade places with anyone in the world. They drifted off to sleep together.
He wasn't sure how long he was asleep on the cold ground, but in his dreams, he was perfectly warm. For as long as he dreamed, all he could see was the golden field, with the doe and the fawn lying in the grass next to each other.
He woke up when Lily shook his shoulder.
"Hi," he said sleepily. Lily was already wide awake.
"Hi yourself."
He sat up, wincing slightly against the ache in his limbs.
"The doe?" Severus asked, turning his head to the spot where the animals were resting a few hours earlier.
"She woke up and ran off while we were asleep," Lily said. "Both she and the fawn. I guess it means they'll be all right."
"I think so," Severus said, feeling a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.
"I bet they'll never get close to humans again," Lily said.
"No. I don't imagine they would," Severus said softly. "But it's okay. Just knowing she's out there, somewhere, safe... that's good enough, right?"
"Yes," Lily's voice broke slightly when she added very quietly, "It's good enough... but I still feel like we've lost something."
"I know," Severus agreed, eyeing the empty floor of the cave. "Me too."
He got up slowly, stretching his numb arms and legs. Next to him, Lily adjusted her jumper, and smoothed out her hair, without saying another word.
They left the cave and began to walk towards the school in a comfortable silence that didn't seem strained or unhappy this time.
"You know, I'm really surprised," Lily said suddenly.
"Mm?"
"Well, when James and his group ran off... after the deer got trapped and hurt... I thought you'd be running to school yourself... to report them... get them expelled and all..." Lily explained, giving him a wary look.
"Oh," Severus said. "Funny. I didn't even think of that. I mean, all I could think of was... well, what we were doing."
"That's good," Lily said. "I mean it... that was really kind of you."
Severus shrugged slightly, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed by her praise, and not knowing how to respond.
"Well, don't spread it around," he said dryly. "If James Potter and his gang find out I was coddling a deer and a fawn, I'll never live it down."
Lily chuckled quietly. "They really are an irritating lot, aren't they?" She said conversationally. "Especially James Potter.... Waving his wand around, trying to impress the deer with his Patronus Charm. That was daft, even for him." Lily's face was suddenly serious. "Speaking of which... why do you reckon, James could do it, and the other three couldn't?"
"You heard what he said," Severus answered. "You need a happy memory. Maybe Lupin, Pettigrew and Black aren't happy." There was just a tiny touch of malice in his last statement.
"They should have enough happy memories between the four of them," Lily said dismissively. "They are all so bloody cheerful all the time. But, I'm thinking, maybe happy isn't enough... maybe it's something more..."
"Like what?"
Lily was silent for a moment. The leaves rustled under their feet, and the tree branches cracked as they continued to walk towards the boundary of the forest.
"Like... maybe it's something that's not just happy, not just safe... but something that... well, something that's good," Lily said finally. "Something that will let you believe you're a good person... deserving to be happy and safe..."
"I can see how that wouldn't be a problem for James Potter," Severus said with a touch of acid in his voice. "His sense of entitlement is big enough to produce an entire herd of Patroni."
Lily chuckled softly and halted in her steps. "Stop fussing over James Potter!" she demanded. "I say, let's try it."
"Try what?" Severus asked, suddenly feeling like he'd lost track of their conversation completely and unexpectedly.
"The Patronus Charm," Lily clarified, a little impatiently. "We remember the spell. And all we need to do is think of something happy, something safe – and something... well, good. Really good." Her lips were forming a mischievous smile. "We ought to be able to pull it off... unless, of course, you think that James Potter is a more powerful wizard than either of us..."
Severus shook his head in irritation. "What a nasty thing to suggest."
Lily's eyes flashed mischief at him, and she rested her hand on his shoulder. "Let's do it together," she said. "Have you got a good memory?"
Today, he thought. Everything – or almost everything - about today had been good beyond what words could express.
"Yes," he said out loud.
"Good. Me too." He wondered briefly what Lily's good memory was.
"Expecto Patronum."
They said the spell together.
And then, the two silver streams of light emerged from their wands, entwining and merging, and finally separating, to form two identical silver does standing side by side amidst the trees.
"Oh." Lily's face was radiant, as the last of the sunset poured at them through the tree branches. "Oh! It worked! And look at that – we've got the same Patronus!"
"Yes," Severus agreed, barely able to contain his exuberance. His heart skipped a beat. Did it mean that Lily's happy memory was now the same as his? That today meant as much to her as it did to him? "We really are best friends forever, aren't we?" Severus blurted out. "I mean, the same Patronus – that must mean something, right?"
For a brief second, he wondered if he'd said too much, or assumed too much, but Lily just nodded absently to acknowledge his words, as she continued to eye the silver creatures until they dissipated into the evening dusk.
~ * ~
The sun had already set when they reached the school, and the cool breeze from the lake made them shiver and hasten their pace.
"I bet they missed us at dinner," Lily murmured, but she didn't sound particularly upset. "Doesn't matter. I'm not hungry."
"Me neither."
"It was a brilliant day, I think," she said, smiling at him.
"Best ever," Severus agreed. "Want to hang out again?"
"Fine. When?"
"Next sunny day. We'll go someplace. But not into the Forbidden Forest. Maybe just walk around the lake. We could study together..."
He realized that he was babbling rather awkwardly and pitifully, but Lily didn't seem to mind, or even notice. She just smiled again. "I'd like that. Get your mind off all that creepy Dark Magic stuff, hm? Focus on Potions?"
"Okay," Severus agreed, feeling blissfully and completely happy, the way he had never deemed possible. If she had offered to Oblivate him of all the knowledge of Dark Arts he'd accrued so far, he would have consented to it without hesitation. At the moment, he was ready to give her anything she asked for, and not feel slighted in the least, no matter what she took. "Next sunny day," Severus said insistently. "Promise?"
"All right," she murmured, pausing slightly and turning around to cast one final look at the school grounds. The evening sky above them was darkening quickly, and cold, pitch-black night was rolling in. "Next sunny day," she said. "I reckon, we don't have that many of them left."
~ Fin