Note: I do not own the characters from twilight.

Chapter 1 Memories

'How could my life change so drastically in a month'? I thought to myself. I should be welcoming home my fiancé from his deployment. Instead I had to say good bye to him forever. Then my dad passed away 5 days later from cancer. Now I am flying to a small Podunk town in Washington State. To meet a half brother I didn't even know existed until 3 days ago. My life is so messed up. I'm not sure why I'm even going, I guess if I was honest with myself I'd say it's because he's the only one I have left. I just really hope I'm not making a mistake. I know it's unrealistic to hope he'll welcome me with open arms, but I can't help it I need to be with family. I need to feel like I belong. My mind started formulating all the 'what if's'. What if Sam doesn't like me? What if he no longer lives there? What will I do?

I yawned, I needed to sleep. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy as the plane started to ascend into the sky. I had been avoiding sleep. It's the only time I can't control my thoughts. There were coming back, all the emotions and memories that I have been locking up in my mind, all the events of the last month. I let sleep take me over and it all came back playing like a movie in my head.

It's only two weeks and the love of my life comes home, I'm so excited he has been gone for way to long. Right now I'm on my way to the hospital to see my dad.

My phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey beautiful how've you been?" he asked. At the sound of his voice my heart started race and I let out a small squeal of excitement.

"Oh Shawn I miss you so much baby. I'm okay, how are you?" I asked excitedly.

"I'm doing good, I just missing you. How's your dad been?" he asked. The lump started to form in my throat and I couldn't speak.

"He isn't doing so well, he isn't awake that often anymore," My voice broke as I tried to hold back the tears. "He is in hospice now the doctor says he doesn't have much longer…" I stopped I couldn't bring myself to finish that sentence. I knew it would happen sooner or later, but saying it out loud made it so matter of fact.

"I'm so sorry to hear about your dad I will be there soon baby. Just think we only have two weeks left, but I'm running out of minutes I just wanted to call and tell you I am going out on my last mission today then we start packing up and heading home and that I love you Liz more then anything. And I can't wait until the day you are finally my wife. I have to go baby, I love you."

"I love you too Shawn bye." Click I hung up the phone, and let the tears trickle down my cheeks. I walked into the hospital with a smile on my face like always I just wish it wasn't fake.

"Hey kid," Dad said hoarsely and I walked into the room, I was surprised that he was actually awake today.

"Dad I'm no longer a kid, I'll be 18 in three months," I said smiling. I walked over to his bedside and sat down in the chair that was positioned there. I reached out to hold his hand noticing that his muscles were weakening; he had trouble just gripping my hand.

"I know honey but I still look at you and see my little girl who would make me play Barbie's with her once I came home from work," he said smiling faintly. I just rolled my eyes at him. He gave a chuckle that turned into a wheezing cough. He paused for a moment to catch his breath and continued.

"You have grown up into a beautiful young woman, I am so proud of the person you have become. I am so happy at you have found someone to spend your life with. That I know will take care of you. You are strong enough to handle anything that life throws at you." I leaned down and kissed his forehead, and I gave him a hug, he was barely able to lift his arms to hug me back. I tried with all my might to hold in my tears.

"I'm tired Lizzie, I'll see you tomorrow, I love you." He gave me a weak smile and shut his eyes.

"Love you too dad," I whispered as I could no longer hold back the tears.

I woke up early the next morning wanting to stop by the hospital before I went to my class. That's when I heard a knock. I went down stairs and looked out the window and saw two marines in there dress blues. My heart shattered.

"No, No, No," I started to scream. I could barely reach the door; I opened it and collapsed into one of their arms. They just held me there.

Shawn was dead, that's what this meant I just know it. When I could finally compose myself, they sat me down, I was still sobbing uncontrollably but I had stop screaming.

"Miss Uley, I am sorry to inform you that Shawn Dawson was killed last night when the helicopter he was ridding in went down," the marine said with sympathy in his voice.

"We will wait with you until someone comes to be with you Miss Uley. Is there someone we can call to be here with you?" he asked tenderly.

I shook my head no; I could barely get the words to come out through my hysterical crying.

"My, my, my d-d-dad is in the, the, the hospital," I cried through sobs, hyperventilating in the process.

"Would you like us to take you there?" One of them asked.

I nodded yes. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably they gently helped me up steadying me as we made our way to their car. I could only shake my head yes or no in response to their question.

When we got to the hospital my dad was asleep but I wanted to stay with him. I couldn't be alone. So the marines talked to one of the nurses and they brought in a cot for me to sleep on.

I was in a complete daze I stayed there with my father not even leaving to go back home to shower. 5 days after the news about Shawn my dad finally lost his battle with cancer. He had never woken up since the night I had gotten to talk to him. So he never found out about Shawn, which I was glad because I didn't want him having that on his mind trying to hang on for me.

After my dad past away, Sarah, Shawn's mother, asked me to come stay with her family. I agreed I didn't want to stay alone in my house to dwell on my thoughts.

Sarah wanted to postpone Shawn's funeral to let me grieve for my dad. I told her no I would be okay. I don't remember getting ready for the funeral, or even how I got there. I was in a complete daze. Until we got to where the service was being held and I saw his casket.

I broke into complete hysterics at the sight of his casket with the American flag draped over it. It held the man I was suppose to spend forever with. I couldn't take that thought I had to cover my mouth to keep myself from screaming out for him. I started to feel my body tremble in spasms from my hysterical crying. I could feel Sarah gently place her hand on my back as a comforting gesture.

"Take the flag honey." Sarah whispered.

I hadn't even noticed that the marines had taken the flag off of Shawn's casket and folded it into a perfect triangle. From the moment I sat down my eyes were locked onto his casket. I hadn't noticed anything else around me. I reached out and took the flag. Staring at it and gently stroking it, tracing the out line of the stars with my fingers. I felt like this was the last piece of him I had left.

I then jumped with every shot that sounded; it felt like a bullet to my heart. I just sat there watching people walk up to his casket to say their good byes and to place flowers and other tokens of affection on it.

I waited a while until it was just his family and the marines standing there. I slowly walked up to Shawn. I wrapped my arms around the stupid wooden box that held him, and I broke down, going limp and sobbing with my face pressed against the cold smooth wood. I slowly slid to the ground. Arms were around my waist lifting me up helping me walk to Sarah. She wrapped her arms around me; I clutched to her sobbing into her chest. I could feel that she was crying too.

I glanced back around. They were looking at me for the okay to lower the casket. I could barely nod my head it felt so heavy. They slowly lowered him into the ground. It hit me like a ton of bricks, the realization that he was never coming back to me; that was the final blow I became completely disconnected from every thing.

"Lizzie dear let's go." Sarah said.

The whole week following I was in a zombie like state, unresponsive to people. I barley ate anything, only moving form my bed to use the restroom. By the end of the week I started to come out of it. Forcing the pain into the back of my mind, trying to create a mental vault to keep these emotions locked up so they couldn't come out rendering me catatonic. So I could some what function like a normal human being.

I came down stairs to the dinning room; Shawn's whole family was eating dinner and talking about the days events. They were so strong supporting each other through this tragic time. As soon as they saw me they went silent, giving me a wary look. Well, because in the past week they would come in to check on me and at the sight of them I would burst into tears. I tried giving them all a reassuring smile. They seem to relax at my feeble attempts of a smile.

"Sarah," I said with a horse voice due to all my crying. She looked at me I could see she was glad I was speaking again.

"Yes" she answered.

"I need to ask you something if that's alright."

"Sure sweetheart go right ahead," she said with a smile she had always treated me like the daughter she never had.

"I was, well, I was wondering if you would help me plan my fathers wake. Not really a wake though he wanted a celebration of life party. He told me the only way he wanted someone to cry was if they were laughing so hard they started crying. He wanted a huge party with dancing, jokes and just having a good time. Also for some weird reason he said he wanted his ashes there too so he could be there enjoying the party." I let out a small chuckle at the end; it was easier to speak about dad than Shawn.

"It would be my pleasure," Sarah said with a smile.

We spent the next week planning his party. It was weird my father wasn't one for sharing his feeling yet he had a great deal of friends he made friends anywhere we went, it use to embarrass me when I was younger. But I soon discovered I was just like him and did it too.

I invited everyone in his address book and surprisingly, they all showed up. Everyone was telling jokes and stories about him, some shocked me. My dad had a front row seat just like he wanted. I just knew he was cracking up in heaven listen to the stories and jokes. People were cracking up; just enjoying themselves. It really made me happy to see. I was sitting down enjoying the festivities when a man in a black business suit approached me.

"Miss Uley," He asked.

"Yes," I answered in an unsure manner. I have no idea who this man is.

"Nice to meet you, I am Fred Potter your father's lawyer. I am in charge of his will." He said thrusting out his hand, I took it. He had an astonishingly strong grip.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Potter," I said.

"Miss Uley I have some matters to discus with you regarding your fathers will. Do you have time tomorrow to come to my office to discuss this matter?"

"Um yes," I said confused.

"Please be there at 11 sharp," he said curtly handing me what appeared to be his business card. I just nodded. "Have a nice day," and with that he walked away. I was stunned as I watched him stroll away. My father and I had talked about the terms of his will, before his cancer had taken a turn for the worse. That night I sat up worrying what was wrong, wondering what my dad must have changed in his will.

I arrived early at Mr. Potter's office. I walked up to the receptionist.

"I have an 11 o'clock appointment with Mr. Potter."

"Have a seat dear he will be right with you," she said gesturing towards a chair.

It was a nice office, it was very modern looking. I was gazing at the magazines that were strewn about the coffee table when I heard.

"Good morning Miss Uley, This way if you please." I got up following Mr. Potter into his office. He offered me a seat I sat down waiting. I was fidgety and anxious, I always get that way when I am nervous I can't sit still. He was thumbing through a file filled with papers on his desk, when I spoke.

"Um, Mr. Potter is there something wrong with the will? I had gone over it with my father before he passed away," I asked anxiously.

"Oh no nothing like that just a few things were added. Oh here it is." Apparently finding the document he was looking for. He continued, "As you know your father wanted you to sell his house and any belonging that you didn't want to keep. So you would not have to use your own money to pay off his medical bills. He also wanted you to use the extra money for college and find a nice starter place for you and your fiancé." I nodded; I knew all that dad and I had discussed it together.

"Do you know where your father wanted his ashes to be spread?" I shook my head no. But when I asked what he wanted me to do with them. He just said 'I'll tell you in due time.'

"Well in his will it states that he would like to be scattered through the forest in La Push on the Quileute Indian reservation in Washington State. There is one more thing; he wanted me to give this to you after he passed." He handed me an envelope with my name written on it with dad's handwriting. My hands shaking slightly I took the envelope.

"That's all that I have to discuss with you Miss Uley. I think you may want to read that in private, or if you wish your welcome to stay here and read it." I got up thanking him, and walked out of his office to my car. Once I was inside my car I slowly opened the envelope. It was a hand written letter from my dad.

My Darling Elizabeth

I am sorry that you have to receive this letter in such terrible circumstances. I want you to know that I love you and I am so proud of you. However I have something I never told you. You have a half brother named Sam Uley. I met his mother in high school. She got pregnant after we graduated. We were supposed to get married but I kept putting it off, Sam was four when I left them. I had met your mother and fell head over heels in love with her instantly. I followed her back down to California where we got married and had you. I never contacted them once I left. I wish that I had, but don't think that I regret my choices. I would never have had you my little princess if I didn't leave. I just wish I had handled myself differently. Since I wasn't a father to Sam I told myself I would be the best father to you. After your mother died I tried with all my might to be the best dad I could be for you. I hope I did well. I never told you or your mother this because I was ashamed. I was selfish not caring about anyone but me and how people would look at me and for that I am sorry. But since I have gotten older the thought of hurting you with the truth was too much to bear so I didn't tell you. For that I am so sorry.

I was hoping that you would take my ashes to La Push. I was also hoping that when your there you could find Sam and tell him that I am sorry for what I did to him and his mother. It's something I had to live with and die with knowing that I was a horrible father to him. I don't want you to go unless you feel like it; you could take Shawn for support. If you want to find out more about me and to find if Sam is still around go to Harry and Sue Clearwater's, they were close friends of mine. I am terribly sorry Elizabeth for not telling you when I was alive. I was just so ashamed of myself. I hope you can forgive me. I love you Elizabeth, I will be with you always.

With love,

Dad

When I had finished reading I was crying. I can't believe my father never told me and was sad when I saw Shawn's name mentioned. He had written this long before Shawn. I stopped I wasn't going to think about it, "lock it up," I told myself. I was in utter shock; I sat in the car for a good hour before driving back to Sarah's.

That's when I heard, "please place your seat and tray in there full up right positions, as we prepare to land." I was jolted out of sleep. I rubbed my eyes groggily, trying to rub the sleep from them. I had my dad's letter in my lap. I had decided to come to Washington. I had sold everything but the most valuable things I owned, which fit into four suit cases. Bought a ticket and got onto this plane. I was on my way to the Clearwater's to talk to them, then to see my half brother and scatter dad's ashes. After that I wasn't sure what I would do.

Authors Note: for anyone who knows military I know that she wouldn't be the one informed and get the flag but it's my story so tough.

There is a very special thanks to and RMGlovesME for helping me with the story.