Notes1: I just wrote this up within half an hour, scrolling through Twitter for something to retweet, and I saw this picture of a cat. Just. Freaking out. Something. On its hind legs with this derpy-looking face that would fit right at home in How To Train Your Dragon. One of the comments had a picture of a black cat with its head tilted sideways - the same picture that went viral a few months ago that made some people think it was a crow.

And that's where the inspiration for this little slice of insanity comes from, brought to you by this Twitter post (the best I could manage with Fanfiction mangling the link):

twitter fartpowder / status / 1092288675700973568

Thanks, Garlic Powder!

"Okay," Nanoha says, nodding knowingly. "Okay. Now give me a real answer."

"What are you talking about?" Fate asks.

"I know you're pulling my leg."

"No I'm not. That's what I really think it is!" She shrugs. "I mean, isn't it obvious?"

Nanoha tosses her back and laughs. "Anyone with good eyesight can tell this is a cat with its head turned sideways."

Fate observes the picture on the computer monitor. "Well. Yeah. I know that. But if you really look at it from a certain angle, it does look like a bird. Doesn't it?"

Nanoha stares at her.

"Look!" Fate points with her finger. "The top half of the right ear looks like the beak, and the white part here? That's, like, the underside. And the eye…? Well, the eye's like a splotch of color that makes it stand out a little more. Don't you think so?"

Nanoha stares.

Fate frowns. "Come on. Stop giving me that look. I'm just saying it like it is. You can't fault me for thinking the first thing that comes to mind."

"You're a naughty girl, Fate Testarossa-Harlaown-Takamachi," Nanoha growls, and pushes the laptop screen closed with a soft slam. "I think I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson."

Fate snorts. "Oh, I'm so scared—wait. Did you just quadruple-barrel my surname?"

"Yes I did."

"Like in those corny Naruto fanfics?"

"Just like in those corny Naruto fanfics."

"So I guess that means the more surnames you tack onto my given name, the more trouble I'm in, right?"

"That's correct."

"Then I guess that means thinking it's a random bird is higher on the list of things that'll get me in trouble than having...oh, I don't know, the word 'turkey' be the first word to come to me when I looked at that picture."

Nanoha nods. "You're right. Thinking of turkeys is more trouble than it's worth." Her eyes glint dangerously. "Let's fix that." She leans over, grabs Fate's wrists, and pushes her flat on her back on the bed.

Fate sighs dramatically. "Oh what the hell—oof!"

(Following that, Nanoha does a job well done.)