Spinoffs and Rip-offs
Chapter One
An Interview with the Forgivers
Click.
"Okay, we're ready to start. My name is Rockine Neverstar, and I will now be conducting
an interview with 'The Forgivers'—entirely improvised."
A nod.
"Hey."
"Um, hi."
Another nod.
"Hello!"
"Good evening."
"Okay, good, good… Now, if you could all recite your names and aliases?" spoke a pretty blonde reporter.
It was a young (short) brunette who spoke first. "I'll go first."
"—of course—"
"A-hem. As I was saying, I think I'll go first. My name is Toby Pallor. Also known as Titanium man. Heir of Pallor Industries, and currently the smartest inventor in the world, and probably one of the smartest in general. My hobbies include—"
"Tobi…" growled a brawny blond haired man.
"Yes, yes, Maj—I know, you want time in the spot light but you must be a good little boy and be patient…"
"Use big boy words, Pallor," said a red headed woman in a cat-suit.
"Okay," he said, "fine then. Don't incite me or I will devitalize you by cleaving you in two. If you'd look at my pedigree you'd see that I come from a long line of masterminds, and therefore not only have the brains and money to completely and entirely obliterate you, but an extraordinary lineage to back it up."
…
"Oh, sorry, did I embroil you?"
…
Silence.
"Okay," the reporter said, clearing her throat, "Moving on. Who'd like to go next?"
An awkward man with curly brown hair nodded, "I guess I could go next…"
"—Atta boy, Brice!" The same man as before, interrupted—the one who said 'of course'.
"Um, like he said, my name is Brice Bane, also known as the Hub."
"C'mon," Toby groaned, "what else ya got?"
"W-well, "he stuttered, "I'm a doctor…"
"Good!" said Toby, "Who's next?"
"Me!" said a man in a purple and orange suit.
"Get out Tarantula-man! We already told you, you're not a Forgiver!"
"But that's no fair!" he whined.
"Too bad," said Tony, pushing a trap door switch. He smiled as Peker Parter fell through the hole, never to return.
"Continuing—" the young reporter was interrupted when Siberian Tiger burst into the room, but cleaving the door in two with the stainless steel claw-like blade protruding from his knuckles.
"Why am I no—"
"Flick," said Toby, flicking the switch again.
And… He's gone.
"Ahem, continuing our introductions, next up is…"
"I'll go," said the brawny blond.
"Yes, sir!" The same boy who said 'atta boy' during Brice's introduction, said.
He smiled a cordial smile, before speaking. "My name is Bob Affirmative. I am also known widely as Major USA. I also—"
"Alright, enough of the spotlight for you tonight, Major. It's birdbrain's turn."
It was the man who said 'yes sir' who spoke next. "Right, right, I'm going already! Sheesh, didn't have to hit me…" he cleared his throat, before continuing, "My name Bent Clarton—also known as Eagle-eye. Aaaaaannd… The end. Next?!"
"Alright, alright, calm down, don't ruffle you feathers—"
"—that makes no sense—"
"—at me, don't get—"
"—ugh—"
"—your feathers in a twist—"
"—Just—"
"—Geez—"
"—shut—"
"—I mean—"
"—UP!"
"…"
"…"
"…Okay, fine," he finally spoke, "you next!"
"Of course! My name is Hercules! Alias—er—Hercules?"
"Good enough! Now—"
"Mr. Pallor, may I please remind you that I am the one supposed to be conducting this interview? Not you?"
"Yes, yes, of course, please, do go on."
"Yes, of course… Now if the next person would kindly, please…?"
The red headed woman straitened in her seat. "Actually, I have a question—for you."
"Oh," she asked, intrigued, "what is it? Of course, you should probably introdu—"
"No," she said coldly, "first, I'd like to know exactly what gave you the idea you could question us in the first place? Huh? Fi—"
Rockine was just about to pull her hair out when someone—or two someones—crashed through the ceiling.
"I am Bug-man and this is Bee and we demand that you make us Forgivers!"
"I give up!" she screamed, as four more men crashed into the room. When a fifth one appeared in a speedo, she just leapt up and precipitously stormed away.