Shopping With Girls Is Easier
"Aw, quit your blubbering lardarse!" Murdoc snapped at Russel. They pulled into the only wheelchair space left in the mall parking lot, cutting off an elderly woman. Murdoc put up the fake wheelchair tag on the mirror.
"What do you know about this kinda stuff Muds?" said Russel sniffing and drying his tears. Noodle put her head in her hands as her face turned bright red.
"You don't spend most of the 24 hours of the day with the opposite sex without learning a thing or two. Hrmhrmhrm," said Murdoc creepily.
"Just get out of the car. Please!" asked Noodle, extremely embarrassed.
As they all got out of the Geep and approached the mall entrance, 2D put his hands in his pockets and asked Noodle,
"So why are we here exactly?"
Noodle shook her head and pointed to the food court. "There's a pretzel stand and ice cream place. You guys go there and I'll take care of my business."
"Nuh-uh. That's MY money you're spending." interrupted Murdoc. "We shall accompany you and review each and every purchase."
Noodle's face turned bright red.
"Fine. This way." She muttered angrily.
2D and Murdoc had to drag Russel into the store when he saw his baby girl walking into Victoria 's Secret.
"Nooooo! It's too soon!" he yelled.
"C'mon Russ!" urged Noodle nervously as people began to stop and stare. "I've been in here with my friends before. Why do you think I do my own laundry?"
"WHAT!?" he shouted. "TOO SOON! IT'S ALL TOO SOON!"
Once they were inside 2D began chatting with the sales associate "Annie", Murdoc helped himself to the lingerie section, Russel lay on the floor, unconscious from seeing Noodle pick up a pair of underwear reading, "See You Tonight", and Noodle picked out the essentials a growing girl needs. On her way to the checkout line, an annoyed Murdoc stopped her.
"What do we have here?" he asked picking up a price tag. "24 POUNDS FOR A BLOODY PIECE OF UNDERWEAR?!"
Noodle face palmed and continued to the checkout line angrily snapping, "YOU don't complain about it when it's a 150 pound Dolce & Gabbana g-string!"
"Yeah, but you're only 14 years old." said 2D shrugging his shoulders. "Annie" left quickly after 2D demonstrated how it was possible to pick your nose without using your fingers.
"Ugh!" Noodle groaned as she threw her items on the checkout desk. She swore under her breath and pulled out Murdoc's credit card.
"Find everything you're looking for?" asked the girl scanning the tags.
"Yep." Noodle grumbled.
"Um," the checkout girl put her eyes down and frowned, "could you please tell your boyfriend or uncle or dad or whatever to stop giving me looks."
Noodle turned around and saw Murdoc winking at the checkout girl with his long tongue out.
"WHY!?" screamed Noodle, grabbing her bags and band mates and towing them out of the store. "That is it." She said. She pointed the pretzel stand again. "Sit. Eat. Wait. I'm going to buy some eye shadow and pretty dresses, maybe even give some random boy my phone number but it's not mine, it's 2D's number because the boy turns out to be a big douche. Got it?"
The boys put their heads down, not wanting to face the wrath of Noodle in her shopping zone.
"Yes," said Russel.
"Whatever," said Murdoc.
"So THAT'S who's been callin' me!" said 2D.