DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Bar none. So WWE owns themselves.
Summary: SD vs. RAW was a successful PS2 game. Now we shall see a challenge! SmackDown roster versus RAW roster! Who will win?
Notes:
-I will make Stephanie the GM of SD because I have plansforher
-The Rock, Jeff Hardy and Stone Cold will be here
-The Heat and Velocity superstars won't be here
-The recently released superstars won't be here
-All ACTIVE divas are welcome
-Deadman Undertaker won't be himself here so he'll talk a lot
Now that I am done with the explaining... On with the fic!
««« »»»
"Could someone please explain to me why I am tied up to this chair?" Stephanie McMahon asked being as sane as possible. "Same here! I demand an answer!" Eric Bischoff demanded, who also was tied up to a chair.
A girl of the age of 11 with long black hair and accompanied by a cat walks up to them.
"You two listen good!" she said. "You have been summoned here to receive an invitation from me. You will be taking part of a SmackDown! Vs. RAW challenge."
"I'm not taking part of this crap." Stephanie said. She stood up (carrying her chair) but felt a little zap on her butt. "Yeowch!"
Eric gave a chuckle while Stephanie scowled at him. The girl then scowled at the both of them. "As I was saying... You will go through 15 challenges and whoever wins the most will be the better roster. Deal?" she said.
Eric and Stephanie turned to each other and said in unison "You're on!"
««« »»»
"Let me get this straight, dawg... We'll be going through 15 challenges against the RAW roster, yadda, yadda. And whoever wins the most challenges is the better franchise?" John Cena asked.
"You got it damn right, Cena." Stephanie answered. Theodore Long stepped in to check on his roster "Now, it's just too bad I have to visit my mother in the hospital. So Stephanie agreed to become an interim general manager for 15 days so she'll be leading you." He said.
While the roster was facing Teddy Long, Stephanie gave a threatening death glare at them. When they faced her she had an image of an angel.
"This is just insane! I ain't following the orders of a girl." The Undertaker said. Kurt Angle emerged from the roster and said "Hey! There's nothing wrong about Stephanie's leadership skills!"
We hear murmurs from the roster saying things like "I can't believe he still likes her!" and "Who would fall in love for that bitch?"
"Whatcha gonna do about it, boy?" Taker asked threateningly. Kurt shoved him but failed. Then Taker shoved Kurt even harder and took him down to the floor. He started punching Kurt while the roster tried to separate the two.
Jeff Hardy was at the back saying "I don't how I can survive...."
They all looked at him and stared. Stephanie asked "Why are you here?" "Mr. McMahon told me to." Jeff said innocently. "What? How?!" she shrieked. "He bribed me with candy to annoy the whole SmackDown! Roster... See? Look at how much I got!" he answered while holding up a packet of candy and licorice and lollipops and other colorful sweets.
Stephanie was wincing. Twitching. A feeling where she was about to explode.
"Whoa esses, shouldn't we all just like get along?" Eddie suggested. "We're trying to impress Senor McMahon here. We should not act like locos who fight over a little thing!" Rey said.
They saw Rob Van Dam and Spike Dudley arguing over a hot chocolate drink.
"Piss off, dude! That's not cool!" Rob said. "Well just let go thumb boy!"
"Dudley whore!"
"Mary-Jane addict!"
"Britney Spears look-alike!"
"Spiderman boxers!"
"Hey! I like those! They're cool!"
"ENOUGH!!" Stephanie burst out. They all whimpered and listened to her before she starts popping out veins.
Rene Dupree was there flirting with Torrie Wilson. "So Torrie, you ever been to France?" he said. "No, and I don't plan to with scum like you.." she said.
Stephanie cleared her throat loudly while drumming her foot on the floor. "I wonder how RAW is doing..."
««« »»»
"So let me get this straight, jackass... We're going to fight the SmackDown! Roster in 15 challenges. Whoever wins the most will be the better brand. Is that it?" Chris Jericho asked.
"Yes, Jericho. Take your seat." Eric said.
"That should be easy. We're ALWAYS the better brand. The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.." Triple H said cockily. "Isn't that copyright infringement?" Chris Benoit asked. "I'm using it for a reason." Triple H said.
They both glared at each other for at least a long time.
"That old oaf Teddy Long will not stand a chance against our roster." Shawn Michaels said. "Yeah, so he can take his little roster away from the major leagues known as us." Christian agreed. Which was weird.
"Don't be too high on yourselves. I have some good news and some bad news." Bischoff broke the news.
They all stopped their laughing and listened.
"The bad news is... It's not Theodore Long leading the SmackDown roster... It's umm... Stephanie... McMahon..."
They all stood silent. Some former SmackDown superstars did not want to hear anymore shouting and spitting all over when pissing off Stephanie. Triple H let out a girly scream and jumped on Ric and Batista's arms. Randy was laughing his ass off when Triple H did that.
"And the good news is... ((sigh)) Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock are with us."
Randomly, Mick Foley popped out of nowhere and went "Yippee!!" then he disappeared.
"O...kayyy..." Edge said.
Kane grunted for no reason and everyone was in silence.
Then they heard a knock from the door.
"FINALLY! The Rock has come back to the RAW General Manager Room!!" The Rock said when Hurricane tried to open the door but was pushed aside instead.
"Where's Steve?" Randy asked.
"You mean that jabroni? He's shoving up his candyass up here while carrying my luggage." The Great One answered and took a deep breath, removed his shades and said "IF YOU SMELLLLLLLALALALALALALA-"
"Shut the hell up, assclown!" Chris Jericho bonked The Rock on the back of the head.
Meanwhile, by the staircase. "Almost near.. WHAT?.. A few steps left... WHAT?" When Steve reached the final step, Eric told Batista "Could you please shut the door closed?"
The Animal slammed the door shut which also made Steve Austin tumble down the stairs.
"AHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT?! OUCH! WHAT?" he yelped.
"I think I heard-" Edge got cut off by The Rock. "It's doesn't matter what you think or heard!!" he said.
"Citizen Rocky, do you think it matters when all your luggage were with Citizen Stone Cold who happened to tumble down the stairs." Hurricane said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"The Rock says HOLY CRAP!!" he ran down stairs and everyone thought that he would help Steve. But instead he got his "precious" luggage.
"Why in the blue hell did you trip?!" The Rock asked. "The door slammed WHAT?! Right on my WHAT?! Face!" Steve said and pointed at Batista.
"Uhh..." Batista gulped.
"Quit your blabbering and let's get down to business!" Eric announced. He motioned everyone downstairs to come in the office. "And Steve, drop those bags before you get hurt."
Eric sighed and thought "Why me? Why Steph? Why the WWE?"
««« »»»
Stephanie was at her desk, moping and sighing and drawing pictures on how to kill me. Wait a second... STEPH!!
"You deserve to be killed!!" Stephanie said in an evil voice and shook her fist to the air. "Who you talking to?" Cena asked. Stephanie put her hands behind her back and went "No one. No one." And softly smiled.
"We've got mail!" Carlito Caribbean Cool announced holding up a bag of envelopes.
"Mail? We don't get any mail. Or do we?" Jeff asked stupidly.
Crickets chirped and Rob said "That's cool, dude! And everything's cool when you're thumb point Rob Van Dam!"
"Just lay it there, Carlito." JBL pointed at Stephanie's desk which still has Stephanie scribbling on it.
Carlito followed the order and lay it down on her desk, thus covering the plans Stephanie scribbled. ((sticks out tongue))
"I'LL GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!" Stephanie shook her fist again to the air.
Everyone blinked.
"Steph, are you okay?" Booker T asked. Stephanie twitched and said "Fine. Just fine."
"Our first letter comes from..." Kurt reached in to the bag and got a letter.
"Hmm.. Do anyone of you know who Christopher Irvine is? Because he just sent a love letter." Kurt said. Stephanie snatched it from him and stuffed it between her umm... "bosoms" "None of your business!" she growled.
"Next letter..." Dawn Marie said as she stuffed her hand in the bag. She got a letter, read it and said "It's for Charlie and Jackie. From Rico. Sealed with a Kiss. Ewwww..." she said disgusted and threw it to Charlie Haas.
"Next letter is from and for..." Taker said, stuffed his hand in the bag and read the next letter. "Blah, blah, blah... Please come home, Mark.. Love Sar- umm... Never mind." He said while crumpling the paper and stuffed it in his pocket.
"I wanna pick the next letter!" Jeff said enthusiastically. He stuffed his hand in the bag and got a letter. He read it and said "It's from Mr. McMahon."
"That's mine. Give it." Stephanie said. "How are you so sure it's-" before Jeff finished, Steph transformed into a monster and shrieked in her highest voice "I'M A MCMAHON, DAMMIT!!" she became human again and snatched the letter.
"I still don't see the reason why we're picking letters, esse..." Eddie said.
An hour later...They almost cleared the letters until there was only one left.
JBL got it and read aloud:
Dear SmackDown Roster (and Stephanie)
Pretty boys they were called, with sweet scenting smell
They also were heartthrobs, who can survive Hell in a Cell
Two of them you need, to send your opponent to hell
Your first challenge is next, known as Kiss-and-Tell
"Man that rhyme sucked." Cena remarked. Wait a minute. HEY!! ((sends an army of gay men to glomp John Cena))
"AHHHHHH!!" Cena screamed while running away from the bisexual creatures known as gay men.
"Heartthrobs? Pretty boy? What does this all mean?" Stephanie asked. She looked at a running Cena and a wandering Jeff. An idea struck her and exclaimed "KISS AND TELL! We need two good looking guys who can kiss someone and make that someone tell something! Some plan, ain't it?"
"So... Who'll be the two 'lucky' guys?" Miss Jackie asked.
"Easy. Jeffrey Nero Hardy and John Felix Anthony Cena!" Stephanie said and winked.
Jeff, who happened to scratch his head, noticed everyone stared at him. "What?"
Rene laughed to hear John Cena's full name. "You got something to laugh about punk?" Cena threatened and tackled a laughing Rene Dupree. Now that's what I call a French Tickle!
"Is there anything else there, Mr. Layfield?" Stephanie asked.
"Yeah. P.S.: This letter will be on fire in five seconds." JBL answered. After 5 seconds, JBL dropped the letter as it was set on fire and turned into ashes. RVD poked the ashes and said "Cool..."
««« »»»
Eric was reading letters from Mr. McMahon. Three fourths of it with hate mail.
"Hey jerky, can I use the computer to check my e-mail?" Chris Jericho asked. "Yeah, sure, whatever.." Eric answered while reading the letters.
Chris logged on to Yahoo! Mail and saw 20 Unread Messages. 5 which is Bulk Mail. And 15... Well you get the point.
He opened one e-mail and laughed. "Edge, come here, dude! I have something really funny to show you!"
Edge approached the laughing jester known as Chris Jericho and saw the screen. It had Edge in a cinema for little kids. And he looked... Excited.
"Not funny, Jericho. Ooh! Why won't you open the e-mail I sent you?" Edge suggested.
Chris did open the Edge e-mail and barfed disgustedly at the sight of him making out with Molly Holly.
Chris tackled Edge and they started to beat each other up.
Secretly, Hurricane got on the computer and checked the other e-mails Chris received. He then saw an e-mail addressing the RAW roster.
"Citizens! We have an e-mail!" he announced.
They approached the computer, which still had the video of Jericho playing, and stared disgustedly at Jericho. Molly also slapped Chris Jericho hard like there was no tomorrow.
Hurricane quickly closed the video window and clicked on the e-mail link.
"Hurri-dork! What are you trying to show us? It's blinding The Rock!" The Rock asked.
"An e-mail for us!" Hurricane said while tapping the screen.
Captain Charisma Christian cleared his throat and read the e-mail aloud:
Dear RAW roster,
Pretty boys they were called, with sweet scenting smell
They also were heartthrobs, who can survive Hell in a Cell
Two of them you need, to send your opponent to hell
Your first challenge is next, also known as Kiss-and-Tell
They all stood silent for a moment until The Rock asked "What in the blue hell was that suppose to mean?"
"I think I know..." Eric said.
"Wait. It also says P.S.: Include Randy Orton or else I will send a virus in 5 seconds." Hurricane announced.
"What the hell..." Randy said.
"Fine. Two superstars.... Jericho, Orton! You're going to represent RAW for this challenge. Edge be backup." Eric proclaimed.
"Backup?!" Edge asked furiously.
"Citizen Jericho, shall I open the next e-mail?" Hurricane asked. "Yeah sure, Hurri-dork."
Hurricane opened the next e-mail which had I LOVE YOU written all over it. "AHHHHHH!! A virus! But we already included Citizen Randy!" he went hiding under the table.
Triple H took a glimpse at it and said "Idiot. It's a secret admirer for Jericho. I'll just delete it." Before he deleted it, he saw a very familiar e-mail address: daddysprincess2005
"MY WIFE'S CHEATING ON ME!!" he cried. He tackled Chris Jericho and motioned for Ric and Batista to join Y2J's beating.
"Pull yourself together, jackass! I don't even like Stephanie! Her breasts are as huge as beach balls!" Chris yet insulted the Billion Dollar Princess.
"Did you just insult her?!" Triple H asked and continued to beat him up.
Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels complained to Eric "Can't you stop the fight?!" "Let the champ do whatever he wants..." he said.
"Hmmm..." Shelton Benjamin brewed up a plan. "Let the champ do whatever he wants, huh?" he thought.
He approached Matt Hardy and pushed him outside the door for no reason.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Matt screamed as he went tumbling down each step.
"Steve!" Eric called. "What WHAT? Now WHAT?" Steve asked.
"Wow! That's a sentence that actually made sense.." Trish said. "MATT!!" Lita cried out and . Kane was pointing at the fiasco Matt Hardy got into and laughed out loud.
"This is gonna be a long day..." Eric Bischoff said to himself. "Wait. Where's Eugene?" he asked everyone.
««« »»»
Eugene and William Regal were in their car, stuck in traffic.
"William, I need to go..." Eugene whined, fidgeting.
"We're almost there, dear boy." William said.
««« »»»
"Traffic, may I suggest?" Victoria guessed.
"Vicky, you seem so... Polite. It's... Freaky." Stacy commented.
Victoria quietly walked to Molly Holly and said out loud "HA! I told you people would think I'm freakily quiet!! You owe me a 20!"
"Damn you! I'll get back at you! I swear...." Molly said in a threatening voice.
"Jericho. Orton. Just a reminder, you two..." Eric said.
"Yeah?" Chris and Randy said in unison.
"You'll have to make-out with someone. So strategize now." Eric explained the challenge sought for the two hotties. "Edge, you too!" he cried out.
"Smart-ass piece of shit!" Edge cried out to the computer after being defeated in a game of Moon Rock Rampage in Neopets. Everyone looked at him weirdly. "Uhh... I mean... Nice game we have here!" he smiled a suspicious smile and everyone went back to what they were doing.
"Hey jackass! Over here!" Chris Jericho cried out.
And everyone who Chris Jericho called a jackass turned to him with vicious glares. While Edge was playing Meerca Chase.
Randy shrugged and called out "EDGE! Could you please come here?"
"Smart-ass..." Chris grumbled.
Edge stopped playing and walked to the group. Hurricane, who was itching to play the new Spiderman 2 Game Eric Bischoff installed, failed to use the computer because Edge crashed the hardware.
««« »»»
"Cena, Hardy... Come here..." Stephanie McMahon ordered.
John Cena, after escaping from a swarm of lesbian Chihuahuas, and Jeff Hardy, after going on a sugar high rush from eating Skittles, walked to Stephanie McMahon, after resuming the plans to kill the person who set it all up.
((burns up the papers)) Ha!
"DAMN YOU!!" Stephanie clenched her fist to the air while everyone gave her weird looks.
"Steph, are you sure you don't need medical attention?" Kurt asked considerately.
"Forget you." Undertaker said inconsiderately and inconsiderately Last Rided Kurt Angle to the table. And at the same time, the Dudleyville Brothers rooted for him.
"Oh my God!" cried out Stephanie, covering her mouth. "How do you like your new boyfriend now, Stephanie McMahon?" Undertaker chuckled maniacally. "TAKER! THAT WAS PURE MAHOGANY!!" she yelled.
"Oh..." he chuckled nervously now. "Well, you did not want to marry me, bitch! That's why I am so angry! You little slut went out with Chris Jericho, Triple H and to hell with it... KURT ANGLE! So what're you gonna do about it, girl?!"
Everyone blinked and Stephanie stared. Kurt Angle gained consciousness until Rob Van Dam was thumb-point-sleep walking and accidentally smushed Kurt Angle's face. "Whoops. Sorry, dude." RVD apologized.
"Enough of this soap opera crap and on with the talking, dawg!" John Cena whined.
"Oh right." Stephanie remembered. She told Jeff and John "Think of a strategy on making out!"
"Man, the Doc is always the mastah to dat! Everyone loves me!" Cena boasted.
"I'm not too sure... Why do you think the author does mean things to you?" Jeff asked.
"AUTHOR?!" everyone asked, bewildered.
JEFF!! ((sends a swarm of memory sucking hyenas to suck the author memory from everyone))
"Now, where was I? Oh yeah. Better do it... NOW!" Stephanie bossed.
And let the games begin.
And before our very eyes, we see JR, King, Michael Cole and Tazz talking about the challenge.
"Make out city, here they come, Cole!" Tazz said. "I wish I was in the RAW Team instead..." King moped, hoping to make out with a woman with abnormally huge 'puppies'.
"Oh could you stop it?" JR and Cole requested in unison to their announcer counter parts.
"So representing the RAW Team is young 3rd Generation Superstar Randy Orton and so-called Highlight of the Night (Jericho: What do you mean so-called?!) Chris Jericho." JR said.
"My oh my, JR! It's gonna be a blast!" King commented.
"And representing the SmackDown! Team is the doctor of Thugonomics John Cena and the Xtreme Teen Jeff Hardy." Michael Cole said in his usual moped voice.
"Do you think they'll be making a diva on diva make out, Cole?" Tazz asked excitedly. "You're sick, Tazz." Cole rolled his eyes.
"Hey! I actually agree with someone about lesbians!!" King said. "What a surprise." JR replied in irony.
««« »»»
You can run, you can hide... Review me story now!
Why do Steph and Taker hate each other? What's up with Steph and Jericho? Will Eugene arrive in time? Is Chris Jericho really a so-called Highlight of the Night?
Jericho: HEY!
Why is Edge playing Neopets? Where did that video come from? Hell? Maybe. Does RVD REALLY wear Spiderman boxers? How did Mick Foley get there? And finally, will Stephanie succeed in killing me?
Stephanie: Olli, Olli oxen free!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! ((swooshes around sword))
((runs off)) Stay tuned for Chapter 2: The First Challenge!!