Authors Note: I'm sorry. I really am. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry.

She's a lady

By Rogue Pryde

It all started because Jii-chan (as his three tenants were instructed to call him) had a granddaughter.

Not your average, run of the mill, girl next door, type of kid; a trouble-making, disrespecting, wannabe tomboy. Jii-chan and the girl's mother had tried for years to turn her into some kind of lady, or at least something remotely female. Nothing had worked, and if anything, their efforts had only made her more boyish.

Both the mother and Jii-chan had been ready to give up. But then Miroku turned cheapskate and started bothering the old man about ways to lower the rent. So if anyone was to blame for everything, it was probably him.

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"So?" Miroku smiled winningly at his landlord. It was his patented 'class president' smile, having won him high school elections four years running.

Jii-chan ran a hand through his thinning white hair. "No Miroku."

"But Jii-chan . . ." Miroku ignored the snickers coming from behind him. His house-mates were laughing now, but if he could just push a little bit more . . .

"Miroku, I said no." The old man's voice was firm, and he added to it by glaring at the boy in front of him, who gulped reflexively.

"Oooh! Shot down!" Kouga sniggered, unable to keep it in any longer.

"Nah," Inuyasha leaned against his friend as they both regarded Miroku. "It's no big deal for him anymore. He gets it from all the girls." The guy in question made a face and the other two cracked up, high fiving each other.

Determined, Miroku turned back to Jii-chan. "We'll do anything." He stressed the word, visibly twitching in an effort to ignore the mocking sounds coming from behind him.

"Miroku, for the last time n-" He broke off, his eyes taking on that look they got when he decided to experiment with the plumbing, or try something new in the kitchen.

Suddenly Miroku felt two ominous presences, one at each shoulder. "You've done it now." Kouga muttered, his face darkening.

"Whatever happens," Inuyasha warned. "I blame you."

"Thanks guys." Miroku whispered back sarcastically. "With friends like you . . ."

Jii-chan cleared his throat and all other conversation stopped. "I'd like to make a deal with you boys. If you agree to it, you'll all get completely free rent. I'll even throw in some grocery money."

They all froze. Then Miroku grinned, his smile widening with each word as he spoke. "What did I tell you boys, am I good, or am I good?"

"What's the catch?" Inuyasha didn't even cast a glance at his friend. Old people were sneaky, you couldn't trust them.

"Well you see, I have this granddaughter . . ."

And those were the words that would forever change the lives of three unsuspecting teenage boys.

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"Kouga! For the last time, get your friggin butt out of bed!" Miroku pounded the door, kicking it at the end for emphasis.

Inuyasha approached him, smirking. "A little nervous, eh houshi?" He asked, blithely ignoring his friends glare. He was already dressed, though not as fancy as Miroku in his dress shirt and black pants. Inuyasha was more of a jeans guy, though he actually bothered to put on a clean shirt.

"Two words for you Neanderthal." Miroku said, holding up the correct amount of fingers and waving them in his face. "Free rent."

The door opened and out stumbled a half-awake, partly dressed, uncombed, nasty-smelling Kouga. "I'm ready." He announced, stepping between the two as they stared agape at his boxers and black football sweatshirt. The GO WOLVES logo seemed to taunt the other two as he slinked towards the stairs that would lead to the kitchen and breakfast.

"No," Miroku plucked him by the hood of his sweatshirt and pulled him back. "You're not."

"Sorry to burst your bubble princess." Inuyasha added, mockingly.

Kouga growled. "What's the big deal? She's just some chic that does act like a chic. I doubt we need to impress her. And if she's gonna be living here, don't you think she'll see the real us soon anyway?"

"The real you?" Miroku gave him the once over. "I pity your wife."

Kouga snorted. "I pity your latest fling." Inuyasha chuckled, ignoring the mock wounded look Miroku sent him.

"Anyways," Miroku pointedly changed the subject. "We want Jii-chan to think we're serious don't we? I mean, he could back out at anytime and you two would actually have to get jobs."

Kouga shot a horrified glance at Inuyasha. "Yup," The white-haired boy nodded. "He sprung that on me last night. Why else do you think I dressed up?" Neither boy mentioned that he was dressed for a day on the couch watching reruns.

"Fine." Kouga sighed, running a hand through his thick, dark hair before stalking back to his room. He came out again a few minutes later, wearing new jeans and another WOLVES shirt. He was captain of the football team, and rarely wore anything that didn't promote school spirit.

Miroku had barely given him a nod of approval before the door bell rang. All three exchanged looks. This was it, their ticket to financial freedom.

Miroku led the way. Class president, for all four years of high school, the senior was never lacking in self-confidence. Daily he flaunted his popularity, asking out nearly every eligible girl in school. He was the kind of guy you couldn't be neutral about. Girls either loved him (dating him as long as he was interested), or hated him. And with lines like, "Will you bear my child?" Who could blame them? He was also notorious for getting out of paying bills. Somehow, no matter how big the lie, people always believed him. And he used that shamelessly to his advantage.

Kouga was right behind him. Big and burly, he was the pride of Mejji High's football team. Though not a player like the priest (a nickname derived from his friend's addiction to girls) he was still popular with the girls. He got invited to all the cool party's, and usually had a cheer leader or two on each arm with him. None of his dates had ever amounted to a serious relationship. He was a natural leader, and being captain of the team was a given as soon as he tried at. Basically, he was all-American at its best, and living it up.

Inuyasha was last, almost trailing behind. Unlike the other two, he was more of a loner. He stood out in crowds with his long silver white hair and amber eyes, and caught the most attention of girls (much to his dismay) and most of the guys in school were either afraid of him, or in awe of him, believing the rumors about him breaking out of prison or something (he was sure Miroku had started them). All in all, it was kind of strange that someone like him hung out with the two most popular boys in school, but he had his own kind of status, either reaching or surpassing their level. And the fact that he rode a motorcycle to school probably helped.

"Smile." Miroku ordered, systematically checking their appearances before reaching for the handle. The other two complied and the door swung open.

They didn't have to worry about Jii-chan doubting their seriousness. They didn't have to worry about Jii-chan at all. He must have left right after dropping off his granddaughter. All three had a sinking suspicion that that was part of some kind of plan so they couldn't back out when they saw her.

Miroku stepped back.

Kouga blinked.

Inuyasha made a "Keh" sound.

None of the three boys moved again.

"Hey." The girl saluted. "I'm Kagome." She didn't wait to let them gape at her. Picking up her suitcase, she squeezed past them and into the house. Their eyes followed her movements.

She was petite, probably about 5'4", and skinny enough, not that you could tell under the baggy jeans and large tee she was wearing. Most of her hair was tucked under her baseball cap though some strands had fallen out sloppily and she hadn't bothered to arrange them. There wasn't any make up on her face, and since her hat covered her eyes, it was almost hard to tell she was a girl. She looked more like a skater punk from some cliché movie.

She turned back to face them, her face still as expressionless as it had been when she greeted them. "Where's my room?"

Miroku clapped his hands, waking the other two from there reverie. "Right this way, milady! I'm Miroku." He smiled maddeningly at her and started off towards the stairs.

"Right." She said, obviously not interested in his address of her.

Kouga came from behind her. "Here!" He offered. "Let me take your bag." He stretched out a hand, but she jerked it away before he could touch it.

"No." She said calmly, not missing a step as she continued to follow Miroku.

"Can you cook?" Inuyasha called after her, too lazy to follow her to her room like the others.

"Not for you!" She called back, sparing a glance in his direction.

"We'll see about that." He shrugged and headed to the couch before turning on the TV.

The girl snorted, but left it at that. A few seconds later, Miroku stopped in front of a door. "This," He announced proudly. "Is your room."

The frilly pink bedspread was the first thing that assaulted her vision. Then her gaze shifted to take in the pink walls, white throw rug, pink desk and pastel stuffed animals.

Kagome stepped inside and shut the door. Through the wood, Miroku and Kouga heard the sound of ripping cloth and moving furniture. "I told you that was too much pink!" Kouga glared. "You're moving too fast!"

"At least I tried!" Miroku shot back. "We only have two weeks before the first school dance! And she has to have a date!" Their eyes met in mutual understanding and slight despair.

Jii-chan had agreed to give them free rent for the rest of the year. He had even promised grocery money. All Inuyasha, Miroku, and Kouga had to do was let Kagome move in with them. And turn her into a girl. A lady. And get her a date. For the dance. For every dance until the end of the school year.

Both boys winced at the sound of something breaking. The idea of free rent was drifting farther and farther away.

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"So," Miroku was staring at the TV but it was obvious his thoughts were elsewhere. "What do you think of her?"

Inuyasha snorted. "I don't think anything of her. She hasn't come out of her room." Unlike the other boy, he was actually trying to pay attention to the made for TV movie.

Kouga agreed. "Yeah, but she was a brat while she was out here. If you ask me it's impossible. Jii-chan just wants to watch us screw up, torturing us with unachievable free rent. He's a bad bad man."

Miroku shook his head adamantly. "We can do this. We can do this. I'm class president!" He said it like that made all the difference. "And you're the football team captain! And Inuyasha's . . ." He stared at the teenager who was determinedly focused on the television. "Is . . . Inuyasha. He defines cool. If anyone can do it, it's us! And besides," He smirked. "Who knows girls like me?"

"No one." Inuyasha cut in, unable to resist himself. "You have the record for most back hands across the face. You see a side to them they keep hidden from us desirable guys." Kouga snickered.

Miroku sniffed. "I've seen other things you 'desirable guys' haven't! For every girl that hasn't seen the light, there's three that would do anything for me."

"Which proves my theory," Inuyasha's eyes were back on the screen. "Girls are dumb."

"Girls are wonderful." Miroku stated. "But let's get back on topic. What should we do first with our project?"

Kouga opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the opening chords of some kind of rock song. The sound vibrated the walls before the volume was brought down slightly. "I guess she found the stereo . . ." Miroku commented wryly.

"I knew I should have taken it too my room." Inuyasha muttered. "But no, Miroku wanted to play nice to the not-girl."

In an unspoken agreement, all three boys got off the couch and went upstairs to stand outside her door. Miroku was the one who knocked. "Hey, Kagome!" He called, wondering if she could even hear him.

"WHAT?" She screamed back, not bothering to turn down the volume.

"Yeah," He turned to the other two. "What?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "You're the genius who got us into this, you think of something."

Kouga was visibly straining to keep from covering his ears with his hands. "Why don't you start with having her turn down the volume?" He suggested in a low growl.

Miroku nodded and pounded on the door. "Would you mind turning it down a little?"

"YES!" She called back. At first he thought she was agreeing to, than he realized that was her answer.

"Well," He said wryly. "Points for stubbornness."

Inuyasha glared. "Screw her, this is our house." None of the bedrooms had locks (the boys and the landlord were too cheap) so all he had to do was twist the handle to get in. He ignored the girl flopped face down on the blanket-free bed and stalked right over to the stereo. In a swift gesture, he unplugged it, blinking at the deafening silence that followed.

"You!" She glared furiously, sliding off the bed and stomping towards him. "What the crud do you think you're doing? This is MY room!"

"This is MY house!" He shouted back, blocking her from the music player.

"That's MY music!" She retorted, standing toe to toe with him.

"It's not YOUR stereo!" He growled, looking down at her with his fiercest glare.

She wasn't backing down. "It's not yours either, jerk, so back off!"

"Why don't you make me, freak!" He crossed his arms.

"Maybe I will!" She matched his glare with a death one of her own. In all honesty, she didn't stand a chance against him, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that she had been kicked out of her house, forbidden contact with her friends, forced to move in with what seemed to be a bunch of preps, and CUT OFF FROM HER MUSIC.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Room." She ordered, meeting his gaze.

Without looking away, he picked up the stereo with one hand. "My pleasure."

"Oh no you don't!" She grabbed the player by the end of the same handle he had a grip on. "Leave that here!"

"Why?" He shot back. "So you can get us arrested or something for disturbing the peace?"

Miroku finally spoke up. "Like that hasn't happened already because of you. I thought that was what you did for fun Inu-kun."

"Shut up, I'm not talking to you." Inuyasha retorted, literally yanking the stereo out of the girls grasp. He stalked out of the room, blatantly ignoring her furious exclamation of frustration.

"Heh." Kouga rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Sorry about that, Inu-terd is a little bit of a jerk." She didn't know it had been his idea to turn off the music in the first place, and considering her temper, he didn't want her angry at him. He was kind of impressed though. "We didn't meet properly, before," He stretched out a hand. "I'm Kouga."

"And I'm in a bad mood." She said, sitting back on her bed. "Why don't you guys go watch a football game or something. I'm gonna unpack."

"Uh . . ." He dropped his hand. "Sure." He glanced at Miroku quickly before slipping out of the room.

"I'm going to help you unpack." Miroku smiled brilliantly, reaching for her suitcase.

"No." She said automatically. "Thanks." She added, hoping the finality in her voice would get him to leave.

"Oh!" If anything his smile grew wider. "I wasn't asking! I was telling you. I'm nice that way."

She stopped and stared at him. "Are you for real?"

"Last time I checked!" He happily opened her suitcase and began pulling out various CD's and clothing.

"So you're a genuine loser." She stated, yanking the case away from him. "I didn't think people like you existed outside of teen movies."

"We do!" He stated proudly. "We're a rare breed, nearly extinct." He nodded wisely. "There's a petition to get us protected by the federal government."

She started to smile, but stopped. "So it could be a crime if I killed you?"

"Yeah," He nodded. "I wouldn't recommend it."

"Fine." This time she did smile, a little bit, and even though he couldn't see all of her face he had to admit, the smile wasn't too bad. "You can help me unpack."

"Oh goody!" He clapped his hands together. "Where's your underwear drawer?"

"MIROKU!"

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From downstairs, two boys winced. "Do ya think he asked her 'the question'?" Kouga asked, stepping into the living room.

"Nah," Inuyasha said from the couch. "I didn't hear anybody dying."

"Point." He sat down on the chair across from the other boy. "What are you listening to?" Inuyasha had one earpiece from his portable CD player stuck in his ear.

"The wench's CD." He made a rude gesture at the ceiling. "She's not getting it back."

"You like it?" Kouga blanched. "I thought you were into rap."

"I like pissing her off." Inuyasha corrected.

"Ah."

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THE END of chapter one! I'm SORRY this is a new fic! I really am! I just got an idea and I'm going with it and I already updated Kinda Weird! So I'm not completely evil! I was just reading Perfect Girl Evolution the other day though, and this idea came to me. Think tomboy though instead of scary 'kill the radiant creatures' girl, lol. Lemme know what u think!

Rogue Pryde