Title: Super Best (Boy) Friend
Chapter one: Fucked
(please go easy on me! My first story ahh, feed back would be nice and enjoy )
Fuck this book.
Fuck me.
Fuck him.
Fuck her.
Fuck everything.
It would've have been fine if it was just today but no... it's every time I hang out with Stan.
That is when I get to hang out with him.
In fact the last time we hung out was in maths and he wouldn't shut up about his workout routine or just kept fighting with Cartman and Kenny about Wendy cheating on him with some random jock- I don't know I wasn't really listening at the point since anytime I changed the topic it creep back into the same thing.
But after all that you may still be asking what's my problem? Let's just be straight up here.
Wendy and Stan unhealthy relationship and the way Stan is giving me the cold shoulder anytime she is around.
They never leave each others' sides and it's becoming an issue. A big one.
It's not just for five minutes
they swap spit (Your regular make out time - Thanks Kenny.) when they make out it's a full fucking twenty minutes.
It's truly amazing how human's can do such 'romantic' things in the middle of a pop quiz and force other to watch their little public show of affection (More like pure teenage hormones and sleaze) to the whole class, sticking their tongues into each mouths so much that one of them is chocking on the others spit.
Amazing.
What am I doing now? you might ask (but probably not you're just a shitty book my mom gave to me) Well I'm currently blasting Childish Gambino to hide the fact I'm not only crying but writing in a shitty vent diary (that's you), and worse I'm writing about ... Stan fucking Marsh and how much I miss him.
My super best friend and moral support.
Who keeps ditching me for Wendy not once but for 6 months in total (Yeah I kept track don't laugh) and so far he hasn't made an effort to apologize all the time he has wasted on her when he should've been playing xbox with me.
What the hell happened to us? I'm fifteen now and he's sixteen and I know it's what teenagers do when thy have a girlfriend but this isn't fair! It wasn't even a big thing but now...it's like I hardly know him, it makes me upset as well.
But Cartman and Kenny have changed... Maybe it's just life?
Wait my phone just dinged and it's 5 am who would be texting me?
It's Wendy.
She says she is going to be away for the week, she will be at Denver visiting some cousins.
She wants ME to tell Stan because he got his phone taken away for doing god knows what.
Dairy, this is maybe my chance I mean what could wrong apart from everything, actually this the stupidest thing I'll ever do but hey this might actually work...
Then I'll get Marsh back on my side.
Fuck that sounded creepy.
Well what I'm about to do is slightly- more less- really creepy.
WENDY BABE ?: So you think you could tell him? The other don't need to know really but if you could tell Bebe that'd be nice
YOU: Sure thing Wendy I'll tell him now, have fun and don't worry.
WENDY BABE ?: Thank you Kyle! ily also Bebe wants to know if you wanna hang out? She doesn't have your number
YOU: It's okay, ily2 and no I don't sorry I'm gonna be busy today. Have a safe trip.
Perfect stage one is done and I think stage two as well, last time she was her she left her stuff (Debating needs more suitable clothing not a yellow mini skirt and purple hoodie) but I need some help.
FUCK BOY: Ky! Baby wat up?
YOU: Kenny get Butters to join the chat!
FUCK BOY : Hm idk Ky soundz liek u want something~
YOU: Kenny for fuck-sake just get him!
BUTTERZ
JOINED THE CHAT
FUCK BOY: Ay budderz
BUTTERZ: Hello! Kyle! What's wrong? Did you get hurt? ;^;
YOU: No I'm fine um actually I need you guys to help me...with dressing up?
BUTTERZ: *gasp* Really!? Oh my heck! wait is this a joke? I'm already getting the stuff ready so if it is...I mean I have this really nice green T-shirt, I couldn't pull it off and I was so upset but I think it would make you look so handsome!
YOU: it isn't"I swear.
FUCK BOY: Yeah but why would u ask me? Butters n Bebe would be the best for fashion advice...
YOU: Well you see Kenny, I kinda wanna look like a girl...
FUCK BOY: Ur gonna have 2 be more clear
BUTTERZ: even better!
YOU: Okay, Wendy left her clothes after debating and I need to um maybe look like her?
FUCK BOY: wtf!
It took two whole paragraphs before they finally understood and we then worked out a fool-proof plan... It wasn't easy and it would surely knock my manliness down a bit but it had to be done.
Now I'm waiting in my room for Butters to text me back, the lights are dimmed and everything seemed normal but by breakfast I will be... Wendy Testabuger aka Stan Marsh's girl friend.
Fuck that's even worse then the first thing I said.
I hear a loud knock coming from my back door, thank god my parents took Ike out early for his game practice.
It's Butters his arms stretched as he pulls me into a hug, giggling like a school girl as a dirty blonde eyes us down with an approving nod.
"Kyle! Oh my god I can't wait" Butters squeaked "The first time I dressed up I was sorta weirded out I just felt like a ten-year old boy in a skirt but after the girls did me up, I felt amazing! And had a lot of fun!" The small boy ranted for a but before he pushed me inside as he messaged at my jacket supportively, sorta like a blonde kitten.
Kenny waltzed in slowly with a smirked smeared on his dirty face he was wearing the same old worn-out orange parka with a KISS MY A$$ t-shirt (ripped and dirty) and those blue jeans that hung from his bony hips "So Wendy huh?" He walked behind me as he sat me on the couch, pawing at my back in a creepy way "You really wanna do this?" Kenny asked with a strangely amused face as he walked over and picked up the neatly folded clothes that reeked of vanilla and clothing softener.
He handed it to Butters who was wearing an oversized blue jumper and yellow shorts with his hair tugged back with hello kitty hair clips of all sizes.
I felt a pair of icy hands slip off my jacket.
I yelped and slapped the hand of the dirty blonde boy "Don't!" He had this look about him like he was told to go for it.
"C'mon Ky get nude that's the first step" Kenny nudged me in my back with his cold hand.
Butters nodded as he unfolded the clothing and pulled out a black wig as Kenny slides off my shirt.
I've fucked up.