It wasn't until after I posted the first story that it dawned on me that I had forgotten to write any author's notes or disclaimer and whathaveyou, so without further delay............
DISCLAIMER!!!!
I do not own InuYasha. And I am sad. At least I get to play with him in my head (hehehehehehe) and write my naughty little stories for you lovely people. Now, with that said....
ON WITH THE STORY!!!
Dream
(I dedicate this story to my mom. No one can read a story like she can and it is her voice I hear when I read my stories out loud.)
Another day...
...another fight...
...Another excuse to go...
... another reason to stay.
And the outcome was always the same. Away she'd go, back to her own time, her "home", leaving him to pretend he didn't care, that it didn't hurt to watch her leave again and again.
In a cozy little hut, within a quaint little village, InuYasha would wait for the girl to return. Unfortunately, he'd never considered patience much of a virtue and before long would be pacing and futzing and suffering the unwarranted sympathetic looks from the monk and the undeserved accusatory glares from the slayer. Yet, the worst of it all for him was the constant whining, the distressed cries of the kitsune child.
"I miss Kagome! When is Kagome coming back? Why do you always have to make her go away?"
Threatening the child with bodily harm only brought more tears and louder recriminations, so the mean, heart-less hanyou was forced to flee the small cozy cottage and run off into the forest, the nerve shattering voice of his diminutive conscience fading in the distance.
Leaping from tree to tree, InuYasha decided he'd had enough of pretending and it was high time that Kagome come home.
"Home." he said aloud and the trees nodded their heads in acquiescence as he passed them by. He was on his way to the well.
Certain of himself and sure of his mission, InuYasha bounded into the clearing, the moon high and bright. Sitting on the lip of the well was a girl. He skidded to a stop and sniffed the air. There was no scent of human, but also none of youkai, so he stood still, unsure of whether to approach. She had the prettiest long, glossy black hair- like his mother, like Kikyo, like Kagome. InuYasha watched as the girl fiddled with something she held on her lap. Without looking at him, she motioned with her hand for him to come closer. Slowly, the boy approached. The girl wore a beautiful kimono of midnight and lavender and when he looked in her eyes he saw a familiar sadness.
"Kikyo?" InuYasha said, though something in his gut told him he wasn't quite right.
The girl smiled wistfully and shook her head, "Once upon a time."
This statement confused the boy. When he didn't speak, the girl returned her attention to the object in her lap. InuYasha knew it at once and his hand flew to his neck. The rosary was gone. For the first time in months, since that early day when he had threatened to kill Kagome...
The boy's eyes raced back up to meet the girl's.
The girl held out a closed fist. "Look what we've made."
The boy reached out an open palm and into it the girl dropped a jewel. The Shikon Jewel, whole and unflawed. Perfect.
InuYasha looked at the girl in disbelief. "How?"
The girl smiled, warmly this time and the warmth reached her eyes and again he felt he knew her.
"Kagome?" He asked. But again he was sure he wasn't right.
"For now." Was all the girl said.
InuYasha was now terribly confused and thinking that perhaps this was another sick joke being played on him by his brother's annoying little toady. He growled low in his throat.
"Alright, Jaken, you little coward, stop hiding behind Sesshomaru and fight me!"
"I don't know a Jaken, only you." The girl said.
InuYasha glared at the girl. "Who are you?"
Looking disappointed, the girl, again, handed InuYasha a jewel. He watched as she pulled another bead free of the rosary in her lap and handed it to him as yet another jewel. She was taking the rosary- his rosary- apart.
"Stop!"
The girl looked up at him, confused. "Why? You want to be free of her."
To answer, InuYasha's heart fought his pride with all it had, barely emerging the victor. "No...I need Kagome."
"To find jewel shards." Another bead came off the rosary. "You know, I'm surprised you don't know me. You certainly saw me in Kagome, that day you awoke. So much so, you thought she was Kikyo. Do you remember?" Another jewel sat in her open palm.
"Of course I remember!" InuYasha spat out angrily, swiping the jewel from the girl's hand. "I told you to stop!"
"What...this?" she held up what remained of the string of beads. "You've worn this like a dog would a collar ever since that first day when you threatened to kill Kagome. I'm terribly curious as to why one such as yourself would hate to lose it?"
InuYasha was quickly becoming furious with this girl and her stupid riddles. It was at this moment that he noticed he did not have the Tetsusaiga with him. "If you don't tell me who the hell you are, I'll rip it...out...of..." The hanyou had the wind knocked out of his sails by the girl's rolling laughter.
"Oh, InuYasha, if ever you deserved to be sat..." The girl looked up at him with teary, "I'm sorry, you're right. You're right. I was just hoping you'd say what I wanted to hear."
InuYasha was now at a thorough loss and feeling like he had really missed something. "What was that?"
The girl sighed, "InuYasha," she said his name slowly, looking into his eyes as if the very reason for her existence could be found there. "I wanted to hear you say that you were scared of losing me again."
Taking a step back, InuYasha looked hard at the girl. "You? Who are you?"
The girl stood up, letting the rest of the rosary beads fall to the ground. She slowly moved towards him as she spoke. "I was left alone for five hundred years, always searching for something I could not find."
"What were you searching for?" InuYasha said, not all too sure that he really wanted to know the answer.
The girl stopped mere inches from the uneasy boy, "I was searching for you."
"But I...I've been here the whole time."
"I know. Unfortunately, I haven't."
InuYasha dropped his eyes to the ground. The girl put her hands on his shoulders and, standing on her toes, she whispered in his ear, sending a shiver through his body.
"Five hundred years is a very...long...time."
As the girl slowly walked back to the well, InuYasha lowered himself to the ground and dug his clawed fingers into the wet earth. He knew she had once been the soul of the woman he had loved, the woman he had been so stupidly tricked into betraying. Now she belonged to another, the sweet girl with a pure heart and a fearless spirit. He felt exposed, naked, and ashamed. All he could do was quietly mutter, "I'm sorry."
The Soul sat again on the lip of the well and pulled a white fan from out of her sleeve. "It was not your fault that the tree kept your spirit and soul bound to this plane. Isn't it nice to know that Kikyo did not have all the answers, that she misjudged?"
"Misjudged?" InuYasha said, lifting his head, "What do you mean?"
The Soul gestured to the trees around them, "We are here, you and I, back where we started from."
The hanyou sat hunched over, long silver hair hiding his face from the Soul and puddling on the ground before him. "You're her soul; Kikyo's soul, Kagome's soul."
The Soul smiled and, opening her fan, waved it before her lovely face. "I am."
InuYasha crawled closer and took a long hard look at the girl. "When Kikyo called me out that day and asked me to spend my life with her...it was you."
Nod. fan fan fan...
"When Kagome cried, out of fear for me, and let me sleep on her lap...that was you."The Soul shut her fan. "Yes, InuYasha, I've held you and tended to your wounds. I've kissed you and cried for you." She slid down onto the grass in front of him. "I loved you and hated you," reaching out, she brushed a lock of shining hair from before his eyes, "and now I love you all over again."
InuYasha's heart thumped painfully in his chest and he backed away from her, away from her touch. "Where's Kagome?" he demanded, "I need to bring her back."
The Soul smiled reassuringly, "Kagome is exactly where she's supposed to be – safe at home, trying to study but thinking of you. It's a wonder she gets any schoolwork done at all. Please, "she begged, grasping a handful of his sleeve as he moved past her towards the well, "stay with me a little longer."
InuYasha felt her hand slide down his sleeve and warm, slender fingers clutched his own calloused ones. He also felt an odd tugging at his heart. Kneeling down beside the Soul, he no longer wanted to combat the desire that grew within him.
"It's been a long time, InuYasha, since the first time Kikyo bared me to you. Do you remember? She was so nervous, so certain that you would walk away from her, reject her and her silly romantic notions. But you didn't walk away. You stayed and listened to her."
The hanyou never felt comfortable talking about those early days with Kikyo and now was no exception. "She made me sad. For the first time in my life she made me think of someone other than myself."
"The first time? Are you certain?" The Soul picked up her fan, which had fallen on the grass.
"N...no. But it had been a long time since my mother died. Besides, this was different." InuYasha said, pulling up the grass near his feet.
"You wanted her." The Soul whispered, leaning forward, and InuYasha could feel her breath on his face. The blood rushed to his cheeks and the Soul sat back, giggling.
"You're so fresh, InuYasha. It's one of the reasons why I, why we, can't help loving you. Especially, Kagome..."
InuYasha lifted his head at the sound of Kagome's name. He had never really tempted himself with the thought that the sweet girl would actually love him. Certainly she considered him a friend; like Miroku, Sango, Shippo. Hell, she considered everyone her friend, even that disgusting wolf punk.
"Don't look so surprised. You know perfectly well she loves you, so much so she even bared me to you once, do you remember that?"
He thought hard about a time when Kagome would've bared her soul to him. "When she asked if she could stay with me, after seeing Kikyo and I together."
"That wasn't easy for her, but we couldn't lose you, not so soon after finding you again."
"I didn't want to hurt her, didn't want to give her up, but I owe Kikyo..."
"What? What is it you owe Kikyo? Your heart? Your soul? You did nothing wrong, InuYasha."
"But Kikyo suffered..."
The Soul pointed her fan at the boy, "Yes, Kikyo suffered. She suffers NOW. Such is life, InuYasha. Giving up your life to a ghost isn't going to right any wrong." Now the Soul looked away into the gloom of the trees and InuYasha could see that pain flooded her features. "What that witch did to Kikyo was unforgivable, as cruel as the trick Naraku destroyed you with. I have never, in all of my experiences on this mortal plain, felt anything as horrible as when I was pulled from Kagome and shoved into the cold clay shell. I wanted to die...I wanted you to die. I never want to feel that sort of hatred and utter hopelessness again, InuYasha. Do you understand me?"
InuYasha hadn't shed a tear for anyone since his mother died, many years before, but now he fought them. He was going to be strong for the girl who sat in front of him, her owns tears reflecting the light of the moon like so many tiny jewels. Without a word, he pulled her to him. She was warm, in his arms, and seemed to melt into his body, as if she were made just for him. He nuzzled her silken hair and asked, "What am I supposed to do? Tell me..."
"I can't." The Soul said, her head nestled upon his chest, "The future isn't mine to see. All I can tell you, InuYasha is to choose life over death. There is so much more that you haven't experienced. Living isn't all pain. There are joys beyond number."
The boy pulled back and asked sheepishly, "So...did you...were you able to find happiness...in the time between...without me?
Shaking her head in disbelief, the Soul said, "I'm beginning to believe you truly do enjoy torturing yourself. Yes...I did find happiness; I married, I had children...yes, InuYasha, there were others. Most were souls you would not know, though there were a couple..."she gave him a sly, foxy look and InuYasha was sorry he brought the subject up. "There was one man who insisted from the moment we met that I bear his children." She reached up and lifted an ear that had pressed down flat against the hanyou's head. She whispered, "He got his wish."
InuYasha shook his head angrily, but the Soul only giggled, a familiar, girlish giggle.
"You asked, you silly boy." She said, snuggling deeper within the circle of his arms. "Besides, there is only one heartstring and it can never be broken."
It was then that InuYasha noticed a thin, golden strand that the Soul held tight in her hand. Touching it with a curious finger, he felt a quiver vibrate through his chest and his heart beat triple time and then slowed to its normal rhythm.
"So, you see it." The Soul lifted her head from the boy's chest. She lifted the golden thread up between them. "If you are to blame any one thing on our predicament, blame this. Whether a blessing or a curse, I have yet to decide."
Gently, hand over hand, small porcelain fingers followed the line until they disappeared beneath the folds of InuYasha's clothing, over his left breast. He swallowed hard as the Soul pushed the crimson and white cloth back off his shoulder and trailed her fingertips over his quivering flesh until they came to rest near the spot where the thread seemed to end. She laid her palm flat against his throbbing heart.
"We can never be separated, you and I. Even if you were to follow that mockery of life into hell, this line would not break. But the pain...InuYasha...the pain would be indescribable, for the longer it becomes, the more it has to stretch, the more it pulls." With that she took a hold of the delicate tether and pulled.
Though young, InuYasha had lived the length of a number of human life times and had experienced pain, on occasion passing close to the veil behind which death waited with greedy hands, but never before had he felt a pain like the one that seared through his chest. It was more than purely physical. In his mind he saw nothing- a cold vast expanse that had never known warmth or light. Never again would be heard the sound of a familiar voice or the feel of a gentle touch. He cried out and this time could not stop the tears that flowed from his tightly shut eyes.
The Soul placed a whisper of a kiss on the wet cheek and the boy's pain disappeared as quickly as it had struck. She handed him the gold thread and let him follow it to its opposite conclusion. When his fingers brushed lavender silk, the girl covered his hand with her own and guided his fingers beneath the collar of her kimono. InuYasha saw only encouragement in her mahogany dark eyes and he pushed the silk back, back, back...
Just as it had with him, their line vanished beneath her milky skin.
"InuYasha, don't forget to breath." Said the Soul, a touch of the coquette in her voice. When he didn't respond, she again guided his hand until it lay near the line. "I want you to pull it."
Wrenching his eyes away from the sight of her before him, he shook his head wildly. "No...I can't do that..."
"Please, InuYasha, I want you to see. Please...you have to understand."
Mustering all of his will and strength, he grasped the gold line and pulled. Hearing her cry, seeing her tears, Inuyasha watched the Soul became Kikyo, blood spilling from the savage tear down her back and she was Kagome, losing her battle against the dark miko's curse. He watched and felt a greater pain, that of helplessness. Hopelessness.
The girl raised her head and met his grief stricken eyes. "Do you see now, InuYasha? I'm afraid our story was never meant to be an easy one. Perhaps our love was a sin that could not be endured and this is our punishment. Even if it was...is...I would gladly suffer to prove otherwise. Look at me." The Soul leaned back, her kimono sliding off her other shoulder. She smiled brazenly as he drank in the sight of her, sitting, bare to the waist, within his reach- her skin glowing like white gold in the moonlight. Taking his hand, she laid it on a round, full breast. Gently he squeezed her, being careful not to mar her with his claws. He heard her gasp and he knew he would have her. Seeing the hunger in his eyes, she leaned into his touch. Laying her hand upon his face, she came even closer, until he could feel her breath on his lips.
"Come, InuYasha," she sighed, "kiss me and know me."
The boy's heart trilled as he anticipated the feel of her mouth against his. Eyes were closed. Closer...closer...
"I'M THE RING OF THE MASSLE, YOU'RE THE GIRLY TASSLE!"
InuYasha's eyes fluttered open. Dappled sunlight assaulted his dilated pupils and he tried to focus on what had woken him.
"No, no, Shippo-chan, it goes like this: I'm the KING of the CASTLE, you're the DIRTY RASCLE." Kagome explained, annunciating as clearly as she could.
The little kitsune scrunched up his face and ran away from his dearest friend, coming ever closer to the now furious hanyou. "I know you are but what am I? I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?"
"Shhhh...Shippo, you'll wake up InuYasha."
"Too fucking late." The pissed-off boy mumbled under his breath.
"Ahhh... did someone get their little claws in you, my friend?"
InuYasha turned his head to see his friend (but for some reason the word friend didn't feel right to him...more like traitor...no...fucking traitor) Miroku sitting against a nearby tree. The monk was attempting to meditate with one eye firmly fixed on the round, tight fanny of the ever elusive Sango. InuYasha scowled angrily, though he couldn't quite remember why he should be so upset with Miroku. The monk took a look at his pissy friend and shook his head sympathetically.
"And by the look of things, you were having quite an uplifting dream...that's too bad."
Thankful for the fullness of his clothing, InuYasha quickly rearranged himself in order to hide his enthusiasm and turned his attention back to the girl and kitsune playing in the grass nearby.
Shippo noticed that his friend was awake and scampered towards him. "InuYasha's awake! Hey, Kagome! InuYasha's awake! Hey, InuYasha, you're awake! OWWWW!!!!! Kagome! InuYasha hit me again! Why are you always hitting on me?! You're so MEAN! Kagome!"
Kagome was happy that InuYasha had finally awoken. She had been surprised to find him fast asleep under a tree when she pulled herself out of the well earlier that afternoon. Shippo told her that the hanyou had been waiting for her since the previous afternoon, for some reason staying awake until the early hours of the morning when sleep finally caught a hold of him and he'd been out ever since. She couldn't help laughing as she ambled towards the bickering boys. "Shippo, you know that always makes him mad, you silly. Don't do it if you don't want to get pummeled. InuYasha..."
The boy turned his attention away from the irritating kit and towards the pretty girl who walked towards him. No matter where they were or what was happening to them, just knowing she was near...just then, a flash, a memory...from his dream? He wasn't certain. He saw a girl. Was it Kagome? His hand flew to his chest. The rosary was still there. He could see it in the hands of the girl, and she had taken away all his pain.
"...I thought you'd never wake up! You're such a grumpus when you're sleepy. Don't beat on Shippo. You know he's just happy to see you re-join the land of the living." Kagome kneeled in front of InuYasha and he could smell her, warm and sweet. He wanted to pull her to him and hold her close. He was convinced that no harm would come to them if he always kept her near.
"Kagome! KAGOME! Come play with me, Kagome!" Shippo shouted, having started his third blow pop of the day and running circles around a confused Kirara.
Kagome turned towards the little fox demon. "In a second Ship..." She stopped, hearing a quiet voice at her shoulder.
"...play with me, Kagome..."
She turned back to InuYasha. The look in his eyes sent her heart racing. She'd seen that look before, months ago when he had tried to kiss her that one time. "What did you say?" she stammered, her heart in her throat. Quickly, the gold eyes of the boy turned away and she saw a blush color his cheeks. Feeling terribly bold, she laid her hand on his chest, right over his beating heart. He cast his eyes down and laid his hand over hers. She leaned in and her breath tickled his ear, causing it to twitch. Screwing up all her courage she softly spoke.
"InuYasha, I would love to play with you."
Once the words had been spoken, the world shut down, narrowed, until only one human girl and one hanyou boy existed. No more was the monk and his increasing interest or the slayer, busy dealing with a crazed kit trapped in the chaotic throes of an acute sugar rush. The girl licked her lips nervously and the boy prayed that she wouldn't look at his lap. In a matter of seconds, courage was summoned and caution was caught on a spontaneous breeze. Eyes were closing, necks slowly craning forward, and then...
Kagome's eyes shot open and her body went tense, every ounce of her being focused on the unseen object coming their way. She stood up, arm out, finger pointing west.
"Jewel shard!"
All thoughts of love finally acknowledged and slow, timid first kisses were tossed aside and bows, staffs, swords, and boomerangs were gathered. With Shippo's little arms wrapped around her neck, Kagome took her place on InuYasha's back and off they went into the forest, Miroku and Sango astride Kirara not far behind.
The boy was in his element. This he understood; finding and killing the monster and afterwards slicing out the shard. He would watch Kagome's touch purify the sliver of pink stone and into the little jar it would go. Then it was back to the village where Kaede would have dinner waiting. Sometimes Kagome would fall asleep on his back and InuYasha would take special care not to wake her, quietly reveling in her gentle weight, the steady sound of her breathing, the beat of her heart.
Later that night, InuYasha sat on the roof and watched the stars. He tried to recall more of the dream he had had that afternoon, but without any luck. Hearing a noise below, he leapt down and peered through the doorway. Kagome was turning in her sleep. Before he could reach her side, she sighed and smiled and whispered a single word.
"InuYasha."
The boy reluctantly took a last look at his sleeping girl's face and returned to the roof. There he fell asleep, with only the stars to witness that his was deep and untroubled, and this time no one visited him, no one but a pretty girl from the future who held his heart in her hand.
Author's notes: The day I finished Today, back in September I accomplished what I never really had thought possible; a complete, with a beginning and an end, story. It took me something like 3 months to write that one. Actually the story as it is published took 3 days, but it took me that much longer to dig out of my head what I wanted. The beauty of the whole thing is that Today is EXCACTLY what I wanted it to be from day one, yet so completely different from the endless first drafts. Once it was up and I'd
gotten some decent reviews, I figured it was time for the next idea on the list.
Dream actually started life as a songfic based on "Crash Into Me" by the Dave Matthews Band. The funny thing about that is I absolutely abhor songfics. I decided to call it In a Boy's Dream and I was going to work in a number of elements from the lyrics of the song. What I liked the most about the song is that sense of discovery, of a boy discovering certain things about girls for the first time, sensuality and innocence-my favorite combination. Over the weeks it became more and more apparent that the whole songfic thing was not working out, so I decided to dump that element and BOOM! Dream came flowing out in a wonderful week long gushy torrent of creative juciness. I kept a couple of things from the song; the nursery rhyme and Miroku's first comment upon InuYasha's awakening. Everything else was just good old fashioned creative story writing. The beauty of these characters is that they know what's going on, I just have to be good listener and make sure I get it down the way they tell it to me. It is a companion to Today, so any similarities between the two are completely intentional.
I would like thank my hunny bunny angel o' my heart, A.J. for putting up with the almost wall to wall InuYasha posters in our room and for telling me his dreams (he always dreams of doing things, which made me see InuYasha running through the forest in the very beginning). I also want to thank my friend Holly for knowing how to puff up a writer's ego and plain old liking my stories.
Music is a very important part of my writing process and this story was helped along by Silver Sea by Meav, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers soundtrack, The Last Samurai soundtrack, Twentysomething by Jamie Cullum, Dancing Through a Faerie Forest by Gary Stadler and, of course, Crash Into Me by tDMB.
Now that I have my two InuYasha oneshots under my belt, I'm going to turn my focus back to my epic in very slow progress- Tell Me a Story, a lovely little bit of Professor Tolkien fanfic. I'm sure it would make the old boy positively ROLE if indeed the dead could do such a thing in their snug little graves, but I love it. Once chapter 5 is in the can, I'm going to start posting it and then begin work on my next two inufics (one of which is going to be a nasty lemon that no one I know will be allowed to read! And certainly won't be posted on ). Thank you for taking the time to read my writings and rantings.
Peace!
clio