A/N: A present for lupinsfurrylittleproblem for the cs secret santa exchange on tumblr. This was supposed to be a small drabble, but it got away from me and here we are now. Hope you all have a great holidays and enjoy the story!
In the Moment
There were decorations everywhere. And when she said everywhere, Emma meant everywhere. The tree in Mary Margret and her apartment stood proudly at 8 feet, and was completely decorated with every sort of stereotypical ornament that one could find, from red and green baubles, to a string of popcorn, tinsel, and even topped off with the star at the top of the tree.
But that wasn't even the tip of the iceberg. There were candles everywhere, small decoration pieces of reindeer and Santa dolls. Their entire apartment smelled like Christmas cookies, and there were carols playing on an endless loop.
Basically, it was a scene out of a Christmas movie that Emma would have seen when she was younger, while dreaming of being able to have one herself with her own parents.
It was overwhelming to say in the least. Sure, she hadn't found her parents yet, but she had found a family in Henry and Mary Margret. It was nice to have people in her life that she would be able to spend the holidays with, even if I hadn't been what she was thinking of while growing up.
It was a bit strange to think that it had been only three months since Henry had appeared in her life and turned the entire thing upside down. Since that time she had gained so much. But it wasn't always easy with Regina trying to keep the two of them as far apart as possible. While she didn't necessarily believe the curse prospect, she could see where her son was coming from by calling Regina the Evil Queen.
Luckily for her, Henry had managed to convince his adoptive mother to allow him to drop by for a few hours tonight. If it were up to her, Emma would have full custody, but it was definitely nice to have a few moments with her son every now and then.
She only had a few hours until the Christmas party that Mary Margret was throwing started, and she needed a bit of fresh air. She wasn't running away exactly; more like she needed to take a step back before she took this next step forward. Mary Margret had mentioned that it was the first time she was throwing such a party, but with David in her life she couldn't help but feel thankful, and wanted to spread joy around town. Emma had agreed to help her after quite a bit of coaxing, even though she tried to convince her friend that she didn't have the first clue about how to throw a Christmas party and that she was better off spending the season alone. But Mary Margret wasn't having any of it and insisted that no one deserved to be alone over the holidays.
As she left the apartment, she strolled down Main Street, taking in the wintery air around her. She could feel the cold brush against her skin and while she wasn't freezing, she was able to pleasantly say that she enjoyed the weather.
She stopped as she realized that she had walked past Granny's diner, as it was at least a few blocks behind her. In this small town it wouldn't have taken her that long to retrace her steps had she wanted to, but she decided against it as she saw she was right outside a small coffee shop. Shrugging her shoulders, she decided to go in. How bad could it be right?
Emma walked to the counter and she ordered a small vanilla latte, paying for it with a few loose bills in her wallet. As she moved aside to wait for her order, she looked around the quaint shop and saw a man in a makeshift stage grab a guitar and pull the mike up close to his face.
"Hello there. For the regulars here, it's good to see you both again, and for those new customers, I'm Killian Jones, and I'm here to provide some entertainment for you while you enjoy your stay here."
His Irish accent came through strongly as he spoke to the crowd. He was a handsome enough man, and she could hear the girls beside her excitedly talking about him. But what struck her was his use of his prosthetic hand, and how effortlessly he moved to tune his guitar. She had seen so many people with disabilities use it as a reason to commit crimes, or even to be lazy through the course of her years, but something struck her about him.
The chatter began to quiet down as he strummed a few notes on his guitar. She grabbed her coffee and walked over to an empty table. As she drank, she listened to the music fill the air. Killian Jones' voice was definitely something else.
She was enthralled as she listened to him play, sipping from her drink every now and then. At one point he looked into the audience and smiled at her as they made eye contact briefly.
As his set came to a close she heard him thank his audience and walk up to the counter to order a drink. She had been staring out the window, watching the newest layer of snow dust the ground as he sat down at the table beside her with his drink.
"You have a wonderful voice," Emma said as she turned to face her company. He seemed startled at the comment but a slow smile graced his lips.
"Thanks, Lass. I do enjoy to play in such places and the pleasure of meeting lovely company afterwards," he said as he took a sip of his drink.
"Do you play here often?" she couldn't help but ask curiously as she tilted her chair towards him. She wasn't sure why she felt so drawn to the man before her, but something about him made her want to know more about him. Her walls were threatening to come back up, and she found herself facing the dilemma of whether to let them do so and to stop talking to the stranger in front of her, or to take a leap of faith.
He smiled at her, and she felt the prior choice slowly crumble, "On the occasion. It's a hobby of mine that I enjoy to pursue when I'm not working at the docks or otherwise preoccupied. Now, I believe you know my name, but could I have the honour of knowing yours?"
"Emma," she said with a small tilt of her head. "I would have thought you played full time, with your skill and all," she mentioned as she felt a warm pit in her stomach. It was a rare feeling for her to get flustered over someone else, as the last time had probably been when she was a teenager. With Neal it was more of a mutual feeling of respect which slowly grew into their romantic feelings over time.
He laughed, "I appreciate the compliment. But there's no real market in Storybrooke for musicians as more than something like this. Besides, I've always loved spending time by the sea; there's something calming about it that I can't just explain."
"Do you have a boat?" she asked, craning her head slightly to see if she had a view of the docks from here. Unfortunately for her, she didn't.
"Aye, sailing has often been one of my favourite pass times. I've never gone sailing for longer than a few hours at a time, but one day I hope to go around the globe by boat. There's a lot of foreign waters that I'm itching to explore."
She smiled, "Sounds fantastic. I've never been out of the States. Have you travelled a lot by other means?"
He frowned, "I've never left Storybrooke actually. There was a time when I wanted nothing more than to leave this town, but things change, you know?"
It was rather strange that he mentioned that. In the few months she had been here she noticed that quite a few people had never left the small town. She knew how things worked in towns like these, but she would have figured that a few people would have left the town every now and then just to experience the outside world. But it was almost as if they all lived in some sort of bubble.
Emma just nodded however, not wanting to come off as rude.
A large part of her instinctively wanted to run. She barely knew the man after all; for all she knew he could have been a serial killer. But there was something about him that she trusted, and to be honest it scared her. The last time she had trusted someone romantically she ended up knocked up in jail.
Henry had convinced her that she needed to try letting her walls down however. He had insisted that she was so afraid of getting hurt that she was missing out on life. Between that and Mary Margret saying that she was missing a lot of opportunities, she couldn't help but feel like they were right. There was no way she was ready to let down all her walls, or even most of them. But little things like this she could do. Besides, if you couldn't take a risk around Christmas, then when could you take those risks?
She looked down at her watch and noticed that it had been getting rather late and that if she didn't get back soon, she would have one very unhappy roommate. However she wasn't ready to give up on the company just yet. "What are you doing tonight?" she asked him, a bit hesitantly.
He looked down, "Probably just going to go home and heat up some leftover take out, to be honest. Maybe catch up on some shows that I'm behind on? Not a lot though, I can tell you that much."
"My roommate and her boyfriend are throwing a Christmas party at our apartment tonight, and if you want you should come by," she offered, trying to sound casual. "I know it's really last minute, but it could be fun."
He seemed hesitant at her offer, "I don't know. I haven't celebrated Christmas in years. I usually just spend it alone." He paused for a moment, debating something internally before he spoke again, "My brother and my girlfriend died a few years back around this time. We were all headed out to get a tree, but this truck in front of us skidded on ice, and crashed into us. My brother died on impact and my girlfriend in the hospital. I was the only survivor, but I lost my hand in the accident. Haven't really had much to celebrate since then."
"I'm so sorry for your loss," she said sincerely as she placed her hand over his briefly. "But it might be nice not to have to spend it alone."
"I don't know," he said carefully, "I'm not all that good at parties and hanging out in large crowds. I'm pretty sure half the town is skeptical of me since I'm not a very social person normally."
"Neither am I," she said offering him a wry smile. "I'm not sure how much you know about me, but before the son I gave up for adoption showed up on my doorstep a few months ago, I was all alone in the world. But Henry finding me has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew my parents, but I gained a family in him and my roommate. It's never too late for second chances."
"When you put it like that, how can I resist?" he said with a smile. "What time should I come by?"
"How does 7 sound?" she asked, as she scribbled down an address on her spare napkin.
She handed it to him and he folded it delicately before placing it in his pocket, "I shall see you then," he said as she stood up. She smiled at him one last time before exiting the small coffee shop and heading back towards her apartment.
As she entered her apartment, Mary Margret was waiting there worriedly with her arms crossed. It had been a relatively quiet walk, and she had spent most of it thinking about the stranger whom she had met at the café. So it had been a surprise to her to see her roommate waiting there for her. She honestly hadn't thought about how it could worry her friend to come home after some last minute shopping to find the apartment empty.
"Emma," she said in a restless voice, "I was beginning to think that you ran away." She could hear the worry dripping in her friend's voice as she turned slightly to hang her winter wear.
Emma placed her coat on the rack as she turned to face her roommate, "I was tempted to," she admitted, "It nearly got to me. But despite everything you and Henry are my family, and even though there's going to be so many people here tonight and I'm ready to be a part of it."
Mary Margret smiled, "I'm glad, Emma. This whole big family is new for me too. Without you, I wouldn't have met David, nor would I have as many friends as I do now. My life was so empty before and sometimes it shocks me still how alone I was. But it will be different from here on out."
As she turned to head towards her room, she stopped before remembering, "I hope you don't mind, but I invited someone over tonight."
Mary Margret grabbed her arm gently, "Who? Do I know him?" she asked curiously.
"I don't think so. His name is Killian Jones. He plays over at the small café sometimes. I went over there today to get a bit of a break from everything and we started talking over coffee. He didn't have anywhere else to be tonight so I thought it would be nice for him to have some company."
Mary Margret squealed, "Emma, that's fantastic! I remember Jones! It was such a tragedy what happened to his family a few years back. So is this a date then?"
Emma felt her cheeks warm slightly, "No; just a friendly gathering. I don't think either of us are quite ready for something serious just yet. I have a feeling he's still slightly hung up on his girlfriend, and after Henry's father and Graham I still need some time to heal completely. But I want to try," she admitted. "I'm tired of being alone and without love."
Mary Margret wrapped her arms around Emma, "Regardless of if our relationships work out or not, we'll always have each other, and we will find happiness one day, Emma. You just need to keep believing that your happy ending it out there somewhere."
Emma smiled softly, "I'm really glad I met you, Mary Margret," she said softly.
"And I you, Emma," her friend said, "Now, people are arriving in less than two hours. Go get ready!"
She laughed as she pulled away, "Yes Ma'am," she said in a joking tone before heading up the stairs. As she closed her door she fingered the dress hanging on the back of it. The dress was silver in colour with a sweetheart cut, topped with a lace covering over that fitted the dress sleekly. It was sparkly and reminded Emma a bit of the snow that sprinkled the ground outside.
She placed the dress on her bed as she walked over to the vanity in her room to get ready.
It was a strange situation all around; it felt so normal; like some scene in a movie or a book that she might see during some down time. She wasn't one for romances, and her safety net all around her had alarms ringing like mad. She was tempted to run again; to hide from her feelings and push everything away so she didn't get hurt; especially now that she had taken a step back from the entire situation. There was something about Killian Jones that made her feel safe; that made her trust him.
And maybe it was the Christmas spirit that was telling her to give him a chance, because she wanted to take that leap of faith and trust him. Maybe it would come back and bite her in the ass, but at the very least she could have one night of pleasant conversation, right?
She sighed as she applied her mascara to finish up her makeup. In just a few short hours she would see the man who started making her question everything she had known her entire life.
The party was in full swing and it was barely eight that night. Mary Margret and David were still making the rounds around the room, talking to various people. She could hear her friend laughing through the crowd at something her boyfriend had said.
Her son was currently eating his tenth sugar cookie; something which on normal occasions Emma probably would have stopped him from doing. But hey, it was nearly Christmas and after everything, a few cookies couldn't hurt, right?
She had been standing in the corner, making small talk with Archie and Ruby. While she might know most of the people here, one way or another, she didn't know them enough to talk to them about anything personal. Emma knew she probably should start somewhere if she ever wanted to make it through tonight, but she figured she would have plenty of time for small talk later.
She took a sip of the champagne in her flute as she heard the doorbell ring. Her roommate looked a little preoccupied so she made her way over to door to open it. As she did, she saw Killian smiling on the other side, holding a rose.
"Hi," she breathed as she smiled at him slightly as he handed her the flower. "I'm glad you made it." She stepped aside to let him in.
"I see the party is in full swing," he said as he took of his jacket and hung it on her coat rack.
"It's alright," she grinned. "Can I get you something to drink? We have champagne, rum, wine, soda, eggnog, or water if you prefer."
"Some rum, if you don't mind," Killian asked her softly. She walked over to the kitchen and he followed her, "So how have you been in the few hours since we last met? You look lovely, by the way."
She placed the rose he had given her in some water before pouring a drink for him, "It's been…good," she said, causing him to raise an eyebrow at her.
"Care to elaborate?" he asked her as he leaned against the counter.
"I'm not really good at this whole party thing," she admitted, "I guess it's one of the reasons I asked you to come. I enjoyed talking to you earlier and even though I barely know you, I like having you here."
He smiled as he took the glass of rum from her, "Thanks, Love. And I enjoyed talking to you too. You and I must be pages out of the same book," he said, taking a sip. "So tell me, before coming to this quaint little town, what did you do?"
She led him over to the couches so they could sit and talk, "I used to be a bails bondwomen," she admitted, "It wasn't the most glamourous job but it paid the bills."
"Really? How did you get into that field?" he asked her as he causally leaned back against the couch.
"There was a man running down L.A., and one of the bails bondmen was chasing him down, yelling out how the man owed him a lot of money and one way or another he would get it back. I stepped in front of him and knocked him out cold. When the man finally caught up to us, he was impressed and offered me a job. Through all the cities I've lived in, there's always been a market for Bails bond people so I can usually just pick up and move around," she said with a sip of her champagne.
"Do you move around a lot?" he curiously questioned her.
"I used to," she acknowledged, "But things change you know?"
"Your son," he said knowingly, "Is he here tonight?"
She pointed to where her son was talking to Paige on one of the sides of the room, "He's over there, hyped up on sugar cookies and egg nog. Honestly if I were Regina, then I would be rather upset with me too; sending him home in his state."
He laughed at that, "I do believe our Madam Mayor wouldn't be too pleased at that. Especially if she finds out the current company you're keeping."
"Regina not too happy with you either?" she asked him curiously.
"Nope; blames me for the car accident that killed my family. Haven't quite figured out how she pins it on me, but she claims I was extremely lucky and that I'm wasting my life away as a talentless musician," he scoffed bitterly.
Emma's eyes widened at that, "How could she blame the entire thing on you? And why does she even care? She wasn't the one who lost people that day. I swear, sometimes I wonder if Henry's theory on her being the Evil Queen is correct."
"Tell me about this theory," he said, leaning closer to her, "It sounds absolutely delightful."
"He believes that everyone in this town are characters from a storybook and that his adoptive mother is the reason they're here. That she was tired of being scorned and losing each time, so she brought everyone here to make them suffer as there are no happy endings in this land. He claims that time doesn't move here, and they're all frozen here," she said softly.
"And how do you play into all of this?" he curiously asked her.
"Apparently Snow White and Prince Charming, that is Mary Margret and David according to Henry, had a daughter, and that's me, here to save everyone," She sighed.
"It's not the strangest of tales," he said, "Personally, I find it to be rather interesting. And it would account for a lot of inconsistencies in this town. Like why I and no one else has ever left this town or why we have trouble remembering certain details."
"Honestly, I'm not quite sure if I believe it or not. Like obviously it's a ridiculous theory and all, but at the same time, it's kind of a nice explanation for my past," she admitted.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her softly, "I understand if you don't though. Childhood abandonment can be painful to talk about and hard to let others in to see it."
She gave him a questioning look, "How-"
"You're something of an open book, Lass. The two of us are akin in that," he told her as he took her hand chastely, "My mother died in childbirth and my father left my brother one day; just up and left us with no explanation whatsoever. So I understand something or the other about it."
She was quiet for a few moments before speaking once more, "My birth parents left me on the side of a highway, a little outside this town to be exact. I was placed in the system, but bounced around until I was 16, when I ran away from all of it. When I was 17, I met Henry's father, who was a thief. We fell in love; or I thought he loved me too, but he used me to grab a bunch of watches he stole a while back. He left me with one of the watches, called the feds. I found out I was pregnant with Henry while I was in jail."
"Does he know the truth?" he asked her gently, "About his father?"
She shook her head, "How do I tell that innocent child about how terrible his father was? It was easier to say he was dead than tell him the truth."
"I agree," he told her, "No child wants to believe that their father or even their mother isn't a saint. One day you might have to come clean, but he'll understand, if not at the beginning, then eventually."
She sighed, "I hope so. So how did you get into music?"
"My brother taught me," Killian said, "He practically raised me after my father left. He was several years older than me, so he could legally take custody of me. He worked two jobs just to keep a roof over our heads, and once I was old enough, I took on more responsibilities to lighten his load."
"He sounds amazing," Emma admired, "I always wished I had a sibling when I was growing up to look out for me."
He smiled, "He was the best. I couldn't have asked for better friend, brother, and a parent than him."
Just then they were interrupted as Mary Margret and David made their way over to sit beside them on the couch.
"Killian, allow me to introduce you to my roommate, Mary Margret, and her boyfriend David Nolan," Emma said, allowing them to meet.
Killian stood to shake their hands, "It's a lovely place you got here, Mary Margret."
"Thanks," She smiled brightly.
As David pulled Killian into conversation, Mary Margret gave Emma a pointed look as to ask how everything was going.
She smiled softly and nodded as to imply that everything was going well. David and Killian talked for a while longer, but as the party began to liven up more, the two of them were left to it. They talked for hours more, and after a while, she introduced him to her son as well as Henry came over to talk to his mother.
She was slightly afraid to admit it, but everything was going very well with Killian. She could see a future with him, as much as that scared her.
And when the party came to an end, she walked him to the door.
"I had a great time tonight," he breathed as he slipped his coat back on and turned to face her.
"So did I," Emma smiled as she moved closer to him.
"Look up," he said softly.
She grinned at him as she did and saw the mistletoe that her roommate had hung up there earlier, "I suppose this means I owe you a kiss now."
"I suppose it does," he said as he played with a strand of her hair.
She leaned in and met his lips. His own soft ones pressed against hers as he wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her in tightly. She placed her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss.
When he pulled away, he was breathless as he spoke again, "I was planning to go on a small sailing trip this weekend; perhaps you would accompany me?" he asked her cautiously.
"I would like that," she said softly as she stayed close to him.
"Good," he said as he pressed one last kiss on her lips. "I'll see you soon." He pulled away somewhat reluctantly before leaving her to her thoughts.
As she closed the door behind him she leaned against the door. She was taking a big risk by letting him in, but something told her that it was worth it to take the leap. A smile flitted her face as she turned to go up to bed, dreaming about their date in a few days' time.
He was with her every step of the way, even when she didn't need him to be. After their first date sailing, he took her out a few more times before they officially were dating. She enjoyed his company, and she knew her son was more than pleased that his mother was happy too. He was with her when she was forced to arrest her roommate, and he was with her as she found the evidence to help free her. Even after their first fight, he refused to leave until they talked about things and smoothed everything over.
He was also the first person she called two months into their relationship, when her son was admitted to the hospital when he had been poisoned after eating the apple turnover that Regina had given her as a 'token of good' will between the two of them. Emma should have known that it was too good to be true and that Regina would never freely let Emma into Henry's life, especially now that she presented a far more stable environment than Regina did.
"Emma," he breathed when he reached her. He wrapped his arms around her and drew her in tightly, "I'm so sorry, I came here as soon as I could. How is he?"
She sobbed lightly into his chest, "The doctors don't know what to do. Killian, I know this sounds crazy, but what if what Henry's been saying is true? I think Regina meant that poisoned turnover to be for me, and Henry insisted on eating it to prove a point. Killian, I can't lose him."
"I know, Love," he said soothingly as he rubbed her back softly. "And if all of it is real, we will deal with it together, I promise."
"Even if your true self doesn't care about me?" she asked him, sounding a bit vulnerable. He had helped her bring down so many of her walls, and now she felt so defenseless against everything.
"I don't see how that's possible," he said, pulling away so he could cup her face slightly. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her and she relaxed into him; taking comfort in his warmth. "Any version of me would be crazy not to care about you as I do now."
She nestled into him. When she pulled away, he took a seat on her son's bed and grazed his hand softly. She stared in sadness as his lifeless body continued just to simply lay there without hope.
"What's he doing here?" a vicious voice called out.
Emma looked up in frustration and saw Regina there, "He's here because I asked him to be. He's here because he didn't try to poison his own son."
"It was meant for you!" Regina exclaimed, surprising all of them with her outburst.
"So you admit it," Emma whispered, "Everything is true, isn't it?"
Regina stuttered, "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Regina," Emma said firmly, wanting the truth for one in her life.
"Yes," she sighed, "It's true, all of it."
"Then you're going to help me find a solution," Emma said, standing.
"It's not possible. There is no cure for a sleeping curse, other than True Love's Kiss. That's why I designed it for you. Despite everything, you haven't let yourself fall in love with the pirate over there," Regina claimed. "But I know someone who could help; Rumplestilskin."
Emma looked torn between leaving her son behind and going to find a cure, so Killian stepped in, "Go, Love. I'll stay here with the Lad. I promise I'll call you if there are any changes."
She smiled gratefully, "Thanks," she said, pressing a kiss to his lips before following the Evil Queen out of the room.
When they returned, defeated by the fact that Gold had made off with the potion, he held her hand as she said her goodbyes to her son. It was devastating, and she couldn't imagine having to deal with it on her own. As she pressed her lips to Henry's forehead, a circle of white light emerged from where she had kissed him, and swept the town.
"I remember," Killian breathed, just as her son opened his eyes.
She threw her arms around Henry and drew him in tightly, "I'm so glad you're okay."
"You did it! I always knew you had it in you," Henry said with a wide grin.
She felt ecstatic, not letting the consequences of the curse being broken to settle in yet. She turned to take Killian's hand in hers, but saw that he was gone.
"Go after him," her son insisted, "He needs you now, more than ever. Don't let him slip away, Mom."
She kissed her son softly one last time before leaving the room. Killian hadn't gotten very far, as he was mainly pacing around, looking saddened.
"Hey," she said, as she caught up to him, "Can we talk?"
He nodded, "I'm not sure why you'd want to. I'm a villain, Swan. I'm not meant for happy endings. I've done terrible things, I've hurt people, even killed them. You deserve better."
"You promised me you wouldn't leave me," she said in a breaking voice.
"I'm not leaving," he insisted, "But you should leave me. I'm not a good person."
"Do you still care about me?" Emma asked softly. "Now that you know who you really are?"
"Yes," he said. "I do, Love. I have a lot of history and I need to figure out what my next steps are now in this new world, but I do know that I still care about you more than anything. Emma, I'm in love with you."
She took his hands in hers, "I love you too, Killian Jones. And let me help you figure it out. You've been there with me every step of the way, let me help you now."
He relaxed softly, "Okay," he said softly.
"So is it Captain Hook, or was Henry off with that?" she teased softly.
"He was completely correct," he said, giving her a very pirate like smirk. She had to admit that the pirateness to him made her fall a bit harder. "But Killian Jones is my given name, and that somehow hadn't been changed by the curse. I think since I hadn't gone by that name in a few hundred years, the curse thought it would be easier just to use that name instead of picking a new one for me."
"A few hundred years?" her eyes widened, "Just how old are you?"
"Three hundred years, give or take," he said brushing her cheek with his thumb, "The magic of Neverland allows one to never age."
She moved closer to him, "How about we go back to the hospital room, I'm sure Henry would love to hear all the stories about you too."
He clasped his hands through hers as they made their way back to the room, never letting go of her once. And when her parents made their way over, he stayed with her for support, knowing how hard it was for her to officially meet them for the first time.
There would be a lot of firsts in the coming months for Emma and her family, but having Killian there with her definitely help her with it. And she would worry about all those things in the future; but for now, she was content, living in the moment with the family around her.