Title: Grissom's Insight
Summary: Post ep. quickie for Slaves of Las Vegas. Would Grissom want to be
dominated or the dominator? What would come of it if Lady Heather told
Grissom about all his fears, his emotions, and his life? Can Grissom look
at his life in an unbiased way?
Spoilers: Slaves of Las Vegas
Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing the characters.
Author: Amara Tenoh (TofuDog)
"Okay, I've never told anybody this, Catherine." Grissom said. He looked Catherine in the eyes.
Catherine inhaled deeply. She wondered what Grissom was going to tell her. She picked up the edge of her shirt and wringed it in her hands. Grissom was going to reveal himself to her.
It seemed like forever, but Grissom finally opened his mouth to speak. "I don't like cranberry juice." He put his hand on his throat. "Too tart."
Catherine shoved Grissom. "That's it?" She said. She sighed, exasperated. "Grissom." She said growling good-naturedly.
"You know, you'd make a good dominatrix." Grissom said. He waggled her finger at her. "Mmm."
"I've heard." Catherine said.
"Oh." Grissom frowned. He looked off to the side. He didn't want to look at Catherine. The look in her eyes was motherly. Domineering. Grissom had an insight in to his life. Catherine shook Grissom.
"Are you okay?" She said.
Grissom nodded his head. "You know, I have to go." Grissom said. He walked away from Catherine. Catherine stood in the CSI hallway and shot the retreating Grissom a funny look. Grissom went into his office, shrugged on his jacket, and got into the Tahoe. He drove, thinking about himself. Lady Heather was right. He tried to hide himself from people. To shield himself, his true self, from the world. He put on a façade. A mask to the world, to his friends, his family. He pulled up to Lady Heather's castle and jumped out of the car. He started to knock on the door when it swung open.
"I was expecting you, Grissom." Lady Heather said in her strong voice. He motioned for Grissom to come in. He walked in and Lady Heather took off Grissom's jacket. He smiled at her. "I can read you." She said in a mysterious way.
Grissom looked at her, questioning. "What do you mean?" He said. He rubbed his hands together.
"You have to figure it out for yourself. But, I will tell you something to aid you on your long journey: Self-Actualisation. The highest tier on Maslow's pyramid. You cannot achieve this tier because of one of its requirements: Believing that people are essentially good and trustworthy. Grissom, you will not find real joy in your life until you can do this." Lady Heather explained.
Grissom closed his eyes. "People are not good. In your line of work, you should know that. Domineering is abnormal." Grissom became angry. He was being faced with his own life. He didn't like it. He sighed heavily. "The third tier: Love and Belongingness. Do feel like masochism is loving?" Grissom tried to beat Lady Heather at her own game, but was shocked when she replied.
"A psychology textbook I read, page 440 said that Masochism is in about ten percent of the population and is perfectly normal if one's partner is willing. They don't come here s they don't want to. Are you in that ten percent?" Lady Heather struck back like a snake that had spotted its prey.
Grissom rubbed his chin. He had been outplayed. He had no good response.
"Your pulse is rising." Lady Heather said when she saw Grissom start to breathe heavily. "You don't get angry easily. I can tell you are not familiar with these emotions. You like to suppress the emotions. You are a very mild person. This emotion hurts you. You are not accustomed to it. But, when you do get angry, it is not mild. It is a very strong emotion. You also do not get surprised easily. You re not easily aroused. It takes strong stimuli to get you to react differently that normal. You actually enjoy emotions that are different from the norm. I am a strong stimulus. I arouse emotions from you. You like that. That is why you are attracted to me. I'm a deviant from the norm. Therefore, you like that."
"Stop." Grissom whispered. He was on the verge of a breakdown.
"You are not attracted to the normal population. The object of your attraction is not normal. It has to different from the average. From the norm. You want to have a special possession. But, you know that your co- workers would not accept that."
"No." Grissom said. He grabbed his coat. "Huh-huh." He sniffed his nose. Trying to keep back the tears. The pain was creeping up on him. All those repressed emotions were coming back to him. And, Lady Heather could tell it. She could she right thought him like he was transparent. Grissom felt exposed. He wrapped his jacket around him. "I really have to get back to work." He said. He backed out the door and went to his car. He turned the key in the engine and drove away. He didn't look back. He felt like he couldn't bare the pain. The angst of being exposed, or being seen through. He drove to the middle of Vegas. He parked to car and got out. He walked down the strip. He was hidden from the crowd by getting lost in the crowd. He felt like a nobody. That satisfied him. It satisfied his inner being. The power of Lady Heather's words hit him as he was sitting on a bench. He looked back at all the times he had repressed and hidden his emotions from the world so that he could stay strong for those around him. Life was passing him by and he hadn't really lived. He had to have an escape. A diversion. He hadn't live life to the fullest. He hadn't reached self- actualisation. Growing tired of thrashing with himself, he returned to work to get his mind off the pain of realisation.
"Okay, I've never told anybody this, Catherine." Grissom said. He looked Catherine in the eyes.
Catherine inhaled deeply. She wondered what Grissom was going to tell her. She picked up the edge of her shirt and wringed it in her hands. Grissom was going to reveal himself to her.
It seemed like forever, but Grissom finally opened his mouth to speak. "I don't like cranberry juice." He put his hand on his throat. "Too tart."
Catherine shoved Grissom. "That's it?" She said. She sighed, exasperated. "Grissom." She said growling good-naturedly.
"You know, you'd make a good dominatrix." Grissom said. He waggled her finger at her. "Mmm."
"I've heard." Catherine said.
"Oh." Grissom frowned. He looked off to the side. He didn't want to look at Catherine. The look in her eyes was motherly. Domineering. Grissom had an insight in to his life. Catherine shook Grissom.
"Are you okay?" She said.
Grissom nodded his head. "You know, I have to go." Grissom said. He walked away from Catherine. Catherine stood in the CSI hallway and shot the retreating Grissom a funny look. Grissom went into his office, shrugged on his jacket, and got into the Tahoe. He drove, thinking about himself. Lady Heather was right. He tried to hide himself from people. To shield himself, his true self, from the world. He put on a façade. A mask to the world, to his friends, his family. He pulled up to Lady Heather's castle and jumped out of the car. He started to knock on the door when it swung open.
"I was expecting you, Grissom." Lady Heather said in her strong voice. He motioned for Grissom to come in. He walked in and Lady Heather took off Grissom's jacket. He smiled at her. "I can read you." She said in a mysterious way.
Grissom looked at her, questioning. "What do you mean?" He said. He rubbed his hands together.
"You have to figure it out for yourself. But, I will tell you something to aid you on your long journey: Self-Actualisation. The highest tier on Maslow's pyramid. You cannot achieve this tier because of one of its requirements: Believing that people are essentially good and trustworthy. Grissom, you will not find real joy in your life until you can do this." Lady Heather explained.
Grissom closed his eyes. "People are not good. In your line of work, you should know that. Domineering is abnormal." Grissom became angry. He was being faced with his own life. He didn't like it. He sighed heavily. "The third tier: Love and Belongingness. Do feel like masochism is loving?" Grissom tried to beat Lady Heather at her own game, but was shocked when she replied.
"A psychology textbook I read, page 440 said that Masochism is in about ten percent of the population and is perfectly normal if one's partner is willing. They don't come here s they don't want to. Are you in that ten percent?" Lady Heather struck back like a snake that had spotted its prey.
Grissom rubbed his chin. He had been outplayed. He had no good response.
"Your pulse is rising." Lady Heather said when she saw Grissom start to breathe heavily. "You don't get angry easily. I can tell you are not familiar with these emotions. You like to suppress the emotions. You are a very mild person. This emotion hurts you. You are not accustomed to it. But, when you do get angry, it is not mild. It is a very strong emotion. You also do not get surprised easily. You re not easily aroused. It takes strong stimuli to get you to react differently that normal. You actually enjoy emotions that are different from the norm. I am a strong stimulus. I arouse emotions from you. You like that. That is why you are attracted to me. I'm a deviant from the norm. Therefore, you like that."
"Stop." Grissom whispered. He was on the verge of a breakdown.
"You are not attracted to the normal population. The object of your attraction is not normal. It has to different from the average. From the norm. You want to have a special possession. But, you know that your co- workers would not accept that."
"No." Grissom said. He grabbed his coat. "Huh-huh." He sniffed his nose. Trying to keep back the tears. The pain was creeping up on him. All those repressed emotions were coming back to him. And, Lady Heather could tell it. She could she right thought him like he was transparent. Grissom felt exposed. He wrapped his jacket around him. "I really have to get back to work." He said. He backed out the door and went to his car. He turned the key in the engine and drove away. He didn't look back. He felt like he couldn't bare the pain. The angst of being exposed, or being seen through. He drove to the middle of Vegas. He parked to car and got out. He walked down the strip. He was hidden from the crowd by getting lost in the crowd. He felt like a nobody. That satisfied him. It satisfied his inner being. The power of Lady Heather's words hit him as he was sitting on a bench. He looked back at all the times he had repressed and hidden his emotions from the world so that he could stay strong for those around him. Life was passing him by and he hadn't really lived. He had to have an escape. A diversion. He hadn't live life to the fullest. He hadn't reached self- actualisation. Growing tired of thrashing with himself, he returned to work to get his mind off the pain of realisation.