Hey, everyone! Someone remarked about film director Michael Bay (the Transformers directors, and regarded by some as one of the worst director ever) directing To Kill A Mockingbird film, and I wondered how the plot of the film would be like if he did. Weel, here it is below. Enjoy!
Film first starts with Scout and Jem in an abandoned Nuclear Reactor, where they meet Dill, but then, they are suddenly attacked by a Robotic Guard Ape, who throw debris and missles at them (luckily, the laser gun is inactive). Scout, Jem, and Dill run into the Main Centre Room, and activate the Self-Destruct button, blowing up the Reactor and the Ape, and surviving it the Indianna Jones way (a fridge, in case you're wondering).
Later, while at School, the school is suddenly attacked by robot ninja raptors, but Atticus Finch (played by Christian Bale) comes riding a Harley Davidson bike and a black leather jacket and blast the ninja raptors with a Laser Zooka, while at the same time, drinking an insane amount of Coke. Later, at night, Atticus is asked (after singing a long and pointless song about how great is Coke) to defend Tom Robinson, and Atticus agrees.
Atticus makes Jem read to Mrs. Dubose as punishment for slicing up her camellias, but Jem discovers that Mrs. Dubose is actually a Nazi secret Agent (and also actually young and blonde), who is building robots with Mr. Underwood (who is actually infamous gold-smuggler Midas Goldtouch; guess how his servant Weird Work fights with) in a secret lab under her house. The robots are designed to resemble Maycomb's citizen's, and the Nazi agents plan to slowly kidnap and replace Maycom's citizens with the robots. Jem informs Atticus, and they storm down the lab, with Atticus capturing Mrs. Dubose and electrifying Weird Work and blasting up all the robots and the Mechanical Guard Hound, but Goldtouch escapes.
For busting up the Nazi agents, Atticus and his family are invited to the White House. But while on the plane to there, they are suddenly attacked by Goldtouch, who has somehow sneaked onto the plane. In a gunfight, Goldtouch accidentally shoots a window, creating an explosive decompression, and Goldtouch is blown out through the window. Later, while at the White House, Jem foils an assassination attempt on the President with Atticus' Freeze Blaster, and Atticus makes the assassinator tell him who ordered him (it is the head of DOOM, an evil organization), and where the main headquarters of DOOM is at. Atticus informs the US military of this info, and theystorm down the headquarters, which is an stony castle on a rock island. Atticus fights with the Head of DOOM, who is Keyser Stavro Bloveld, and throws him into the ocean. Millions of agents are captured, and the military gets hold of Bloveld's contact Book (and his cache of Wrigley Gum, which causes the Wrigley Gum Dance), and captures more.
Later, there is the trial, and during the trial, the court is suddenly invaded by Nazis. There is a gun battle, and in the battle, Tom Robinson gets shot and dies, resulting in one of the few serious moments of the film.
Though having won the case (due to some Witness Death Law or something), Bob Ewell wants revenge against Atticus for humiliating him in the trial, and pays a master Kidnapper named Mad Mack to kidnap Jem and Scout. The result is one long car chase between multiple Coke and Wrigley's and McDonald restaurants between's Atticus' Ford and Mad Mack's Pursuit 9000, ending with the latter' death through plunging off the Grand Canyon into a fiery explosion. Meanwhile, Bob Ewell discovers one of DOOM's weapon facility.
When Atticus and his children return, they discover that Bob Ewell has taken over Maycomb's with the use of a robotic army and a giant robot called Tyranny, and everyone is forced to bow at a Bob Ewell statue during a certain time (everyone is also forced to drink Pepsi and sing "Bob Ewell, Our Great Dictator"). They find Boo Radley (played by Robert Englund), who is leading the rebellion force, and Atticus quickly summons his own giant robot (called Freedom) which was under his own house, and a great robot fight between Bob and Atticus results, ending with Atticus throwing Bob Ewell high into the sky, resulting into yet another explosion. Finally, Atticus helps to restore Maycomb to normal.
Well, there you have it, the possible plot for a possible TKAM film by Mike Bay. Didn't I forget to mention the numerous shameless product placements in the film, ranging from Coke to Mcdonald (there was Wrigley's gum and Coke in the original book, though, but it was subtle) which are as subtle as a pie in your face, with a giant glowing neon sign saying "Pie in your face"? If a film like this was ever released, it will be critically panned by critics, but probably a big box-office maker (as bay's film usually are), and it might spawn a highly profitable merchandise line (Attiucs Action figure, Boo Radley glow-in-the-dark shirt, Freedom action figures, you name it).