Cas stood on that hill, staring up at the sky, long after all the angels had fallen. He couldn't seem to process the full truth of what had actually happened. The truth felt like something that someone else was feeling. It wasn't really there but he knew it affected him in some way.

Everything just felt so…numb.

That was, until a sharp, slicing pain shot across his back, causing him to cry out and fall to his knees. Cas wrapped his arms around his torso, grinding his teeth together and rocking slightly. Cas squeezed his eyes shut and cried out in agony, his cry echoing across the open space before him.

Cas' hand began to feel very odd. He forced his eyes open and slowly removed his trembling hands so he could look at them. In the dim light of the lonesome moon, Cas could see a thick, dark liquid coating his hands.

With wide, terrified eyes, Cas sat there on his knees, his hands in front of him coated in the thick liquid, not knowing what to do as the feeling of detachment started to creep back into his body.

Cas didn't react at all as the squeal of tires on asphalt sounded behind him, the headlights of the car washing over him. There was a distant sound of a car door slamming shut and a voice, muffled and slurred.

Then, instead of falling deeper into his detachment, Cas could suddenly feel every molecule of his being pulling against him, fighting him, dragging him back to consciousness. Cas' vision began to come back, everything a blurry mess before him until everything suddenly snapped back into clarity.

Blinking, Cas found himself staring into worried green irises.

"Cas? God dammit Cas, answer me! Tell me you can hear me!" The words began to register and identify to Cas.

"Dean?" Cas said in a soft voice, not entirely sure what was reality and what was hallucination.

Relief flooded Dean's eyes as he firmly gripped Cas' shoulders in his hands.

"Thank God, Cas. I thought I lost you there for a moment. Do me a favor and never scare me like that again."

Cas just stared back at Dean, giving a small nod.

"What happened, Cas?" Dean asked in a low, gentle tone.

Cas had to sit for a moment and think about Dean' question. What had happened? Cas knew that he should have an answer for Dean, he was there, and he had witnessed it. But what had happened?

Panicking, Cas looked down at his hands. When he saw that the thick liquid still coated his skin, everything came rushing back in a sharp movement that sent Cas doubling over, clutching his temples tightly and groaning in pain.

"Cas!?" Dean called anxiously, placing a hand on his back. But he quickly withdrew his hand in shock, his fingers instantly coated with the same thick liquid that covered Cas' hands. The substance gave off a very metallic stench and stained Dean's skin when he tried to rub it off on the grass.

That was when Dean caught sight of two large objects sprawled out behind Cas's hunched form. Looking down at the objects in stunned silence, Dean put everything together without Cas' explanation. Dean turned back to Cas and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Cas," he whispered gently. "Can you remember?"

Dean watched Cas straighten up, dropping his hands from his temples, which were now covered in the dark liquid. Cas' blue eyes were wide and fixated ahead on nothing.

"Yes, I can remember," he said quietly. Turning his face towards Dean, he whispered. "All of the angels, have fallen. And it's my fault, Dean. It's all my fault."

Dean shook his head. "No, Cas. It's okay. You're okay. Everything is going to be fine. Let's head back to the motel and-"

"No, Dean!" Cas snapped, shrugging off Dean's hand with a sudden surge of fury. "Everything is not going to be okay! Heaven has fallen and now there is no hope!"

The fury suddenly vanished from Cas' eyes, melting away to be replaced by a broken expression. "I'm not an angel anymore, Dean. I'm a human."

Cas and Dean sat, staring at each other for a long, suspended moment as the truth sank in with both of them.

Looking down at his hands, Cas took a shaky breath. "This is my blood, isn't it? And it came from my back…" Cas trailed off as the realization hit him like a blow to the chest.

Slowly, Cas began to crane his head around behind him to the two splayed objects behind him.

Dean's hand stopped Cas' venturing gaze from laying eyes on the catastrophe behind him.

"No, Cas," Dean whispered as he pulled Cas' head onto his shoulder, holding him around the shoulders and keeping him close. "Don't look. It won't do you any good."

"My-my wings, Dean…" Cas muttered in shock. "My wings…"

"I know…I know. I'm so sorry, Cas," Dean whispered into Cas' scruffy brown hair. "But we have to keep moving. Let's get you back to the motel and clean you up, okay?"

Like a small child, Cas turned his face into Dean's warm leather jacket and nodded his head.

Dean helped Cas to stand and stood in between Cas and the broken wings on the ground. Shielding Cas' eyes from them, Dean led the broken angel to the Impala. Dean guided Cas into the passenger seat, helping him to fasten the seatbelt before looking Cas in the eyes.

"When we drive away, promise me you won't look at your wings, okay? You have to promise me, Cas."

Cas looked up, staring deeply into Dean's eyes. "I won't, I promise."

Dean gave him a small smile and a nod.

Dean went around and climbed into the drivers seat, gunning the Impala to life and throwing the car into reverse.

As the Impala drew away from the space, Cas kept his eye fixed on his blood-covered hands that sat limply in his lap. But when Dean put the Impala into gear, Cas slowly began to raise his eyes, discarding his promise to Dean, wanting so desperately to know what he had done to his brothers and sisters, to Heaven, to humanity, to himself. He had to see those broken wings laying on the ground for himself.

It was his punishment.

Just as his eyes began to clear the top of the dashboard, Dean's hand was blocking his vision.

"You promised me, Cas," he reminded Cas softly.

Cas hesitated before lowering his head again.

"I know," he replied quietly.

Once they had returned to the motel, Dean helped Cas into the room, guiding his slumping form into the bathroom. Dean then proceeded to help Cas remove his trench coat and shirt so they could be washed. The wounds and amount of blood on Cas' back caused Dean's breath to hitch in his throat. Shaking his head, he left the two pieces of clothing on the bathroom counter and grabbed a cloth.

Dean glanced out at a sleeping Sam before turning his attention to Cas. Dean's heart ached when he looked down at Cas' broken expression as he sat in the bathtub.

Dean reached over and turned on the water, watching as it began to pool and fill up the tub, washing over Cas's sitting form. Dean perched on the toilet next to the tub so he could wash Cas' bloody back.

Dunking the cloth into the warm bath water, Dean began to gently scrub away the semi-dried blood that coated Cas. Dean was careful around Cas' wounds when he was scrubbing. Eventually, he started to move over the open wounds.

"This might sting," he quietly warned Cas, who answered with a listless nod.

Dean gently washed over the wounds from where Cas' wings had been torn from his body. The two long gashes formed an upside-down V on Cas' back.

Once all the blood had been cleaned off, Dean helped Cas to perch on the edge of the bath so Dean could bind his wounds. However, Dean was afraid to try and sew them shut with stiches as he was unaware how Cas would react to that treatment. Instead, he rubbed some ointment on the gashes and started to wrap Cas' torso with bandages.

When Dean was finished, he stood behind Cas, looking down at the listless form of the former angel.

"Cas," Dean whispered as he walked around in front of Cas. Dean knelt down and took Cas' hands in his own.

"Cas look at me, please," Dean practically begged.

Cas looked up at Dean slowly, meeting his eyes with hesitation.

"Cas, I don't blame you for anything that's happened, I hope you know that. No one could have stopped the angels from falling if it was meant to be. We've just got to keep on going forwards, okay? We will all make it."

Dean reached out and cupped Cas' face him his hands. "Trust me, okay?"

When Cas didn't respond, Dean stretched up and placed a soft kiss on Cas' cheek before moving to his ear. Dean placed another gentle kiss near Cas' earlobe as he whispered, "I don't blame you, Cas. Never forget that."

Dean pulled away and stood, leaving the bathroom. He returned a moment later with a set of clean clothes.

"I leave you to change, then," Dean whispered as he set the clothes down on the bathroom counter.

With that, Dean closed the door softly.

Cas started to emerge from his haze when Dean pulled away from him. He looked over after Dean had left, leaving clean clothes on the counter for Cas who was sitting shirtless and in sopping wet pants from sitting in the bath.

Slowly, Cas hauled himself up from where he was sitting and moved over towards the counter to change.

Cas first exchanged his pants for the clean ones. He paused as he looked down at the trench coat he had actually come to like.

It was then that all of his memories began to flood back to him. Cas gripped the edge of the counter, struggling to steady himself. Images flashed through his head and voices rushed around him.

It's your fault, Castiel…could have saved them…all your fault…

"It's my fault…" Cas muttered with the whispering voices. "I could have saved them…"

Cas straightened up and reached for his trench coat. Digging through the pockets, he produced a knife that he had forgotten how it had come by him.

All traitors must be punished… whispered the voices.

"Punished…" Cas muttered.

Cas pressed the cold tip of the metal blade against his arm and began to dig into the tender flesh.

"I…must…be…punished," Cas muttered as he applied more and more force to the blade.

Suddenly, an image of bright green eyes flashed before Cas.

Stunned, Cas' hand went slack and the blade clattered to the floor as he slumped against the wall and passed out, a single tear falling from his eyes.

Dean heard the clatter from the bathroom and was on his feet in seconds. Knocking on the door softly, Dean called through the wood.

"Cas? Cas, buddy are you alright in there?"

No response came.

Dean desperately tried the doorknob as his heart began to pound erratically. Finding the door to be locked, Dean desperately pounded on the wood.

"Cas! Open up!"

It quickly became evident to Dean that Cas was not going to or was unable to open the door for himself. Dean backed up a pace and kicked the door open with one accurately placed strike.

Rushing into the bathroom, Dean found Cas bleeding from his arm and passed out on the floor.

"Oh, Cas," Dean breathed. "No, no, no!"

Dean rushed forward and checked desperately for Cas' pulse. Upon finding it, Dean dropped his head into the crook of Cas' neck.

"Dammit Cas. I thought I told you not to scare me anymore," he whispered before starting to clean Cas up for the second time that night.

Once he was finished, Dean was struck with the realization that Cas couldn't heal himself anymore now that he had lost his Grace and become a human.

Dean wound his fingers through Cas' hair as he slept.

"Don't worry, Cas. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

A/N: Derp :/ Okay sorry for posting so many horrible things in one day...anyways...I'm debating on wether or not I should write more...meh idk, R&R and let me know what you think guys! Thanks!