"Writing one great song before..."

Before what?

Before I die.

Before AIDS takes over my body and thrusts me towards the venomous black hole they call death.

Sounds enchanting, doesn't it?

I want to write one song before I go. I want the song to express how it really feels to be living with AIDS in New York City with no money. I want someone to understand me through my music. I want to be known. I want to be remembered.

At the sound of footsteps coming upstairs, I snapped out of my thoughts. I positioned my guitar lightly on the windowsill in place of myself, standing and slumping over to the door as it opened to reveal the unknown visitor.

The unexpected shadow was Mimi, and she practically fell into my arms. I placed my finger under her chin and lifted her head to get a good look at her. "Meems, you alright?" I asked worriedly. It's not like me to be worried, either.

Mimi looked like she was sick or something. I had never seen her so pale except for Christmas last year, the time I almost lost her. Her eyes were brighter than usual and not only was she shaking, but she was pretty limp too.

"I think I got the flu." Mimi mumbled, coughing a bit. Her voice was weak and cracked midway during her sentence. I knew that couldn't be good. I feared this was going to be a repeat of the last time Mimi was sick, but I wasn't about to let that happen. "Or just HIV." she mumbled.

"Uh..." I didn't know what to do with her or what to do with myself. I'd never really handled a sick person alone. If I called someone else, it would make me look weak in front of my girlfriend when she needed me. Plus, everyone else was out at work, being busy, having lives. Maybe I could take a lesson from them once in a while. "It's probably best if you lay down." No duh, Roger. I'm such a dork sometimes.

At least I didn't turn my ex girlfriend lesbian or anything.

I dropped Mimi lightly on the couch, throwing a blanket over her. I sat on the edge, peering down at my tiny girlfriend. She was shivering but when I started stroking her hair, her forehead felt hot. "You stay here, I'm gonna go make you tea and soup, alright?" Assuming she had a fever, I remembered from Mark that those would help. If they helped him, I'm sure it would help Mimi too. They practically have the same body anyway. Mark is just a flat chested woman, really.

Mimi nodded, and I don't think she really understood what I was doing. As I began making the soup, I felt even more helpless. I couldn't do anything except watch her shiver and shake. She didn't seem to mind, flashing me a smile and a glance every once in a while. I think she was just happy to be with me. Or at least that's what I try to tell myself.

When the soup was finished, I carried it back to her carefully, placing it on the table. She smiled gratefully, pulling me down next to her on the couch. I sat nervously, watching her eat and praying she wouldn't drop dead from it. I'm not Rachel Ray, that's for sure.

"Thanks Rog." Mimi smiled at me, finishing up her soup and cuddling against me. I could tell she was getting better already, just by the way her eyes were glittering when she looked up at me. Those eyes always made me melt.

"You're welcome." I could tell I was blushing, and she giggled at me and closed her eyes. I had become the pillow lately for everyone, but I don't mind it. I put my arms around her, smiling like a goof ball. At least she couldn't see.

It was a few minutes and a few exchanges of 'I love you' before Mimi fell asleep. I stayed right where I was, the pillow, not wanting to wake her.

Maybe I'm not such a moron after all. After the day was said and done, Mimi seemed to be better, and my cooking hadn't killed her. Or me. I don't know when the last time I turned on the stove was.

Anyway, I realized maybe I'm not an idiot after all. I mean sure, I've done my fair share of stupid things, but I can at least take care of someone.

Someone who needed me.

Someone that loved me.

Someone that I loved.

Authors Note: Well, I'm not really loving how this came out. It took me FOREVER to write and I'm just glad that it's done. I couldn't come up with an ending for the longest time. Please review if you took the time to read, I really do appreciate them. Thank you for reading, it makes my day to see a favorite or a review.

Keep Writing & Viva La Vie Boheme