Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy IX, blah blah blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.
By Jordan K.
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"Ha ha, it's finally done!" Said the Tantalus leader, Baku. He looked up at the finally repaired Tantalus hideout. Cinna brushed away the sweat on his huge belly, as he said, "Boy, I'm sure hungry! I'm gonna go and make myself some Kupocorn. See ya!" Cinna went inside the now repaired hideout.
Marcus had a puzzled look on his face. "What's Kupocorn?" he asked. Blank gave him "the look" (one eyebrow raised, chin tilted slightly in the air). "It's like that foreign weird stuff from another world, I think its called popcorn. Anyway, It's made out of Kupo Nuts, the favorite food of the moogles, ya understand me?" Blank explained knowingly. Marcus blinked. "Not really, but that's not important, ya know?" Blank sighed.
Suddenly, a high-pitched scream came from inside the hideout. Cinna rushed out, shouting, "Where's my secret stash of Kupocorn?!? I'TS MISSING!!!!!!" He then started hyperventilating. Marcus raised an eyebrow, as he began, "Your secret stash…" "Of Kupocorn?" Blank finished. Cinna backed away. "You know how annoying that was?" Marcus and Blank shrugged. "Whatever." They all stood around, trying to think of what to do next. Suddenly, their old pals, Zorn and Thorn came along. Zorn shook his head. "Hmmmm, they are stupid." Thorn nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, stupid, they are. Their search for their Kupocorn has yet to begin." Blank spotted the jester twins. "Yo!" he shouted, "Are you two those little… kids?" Zorn and Thorn both started hopping up and down, and they were mad. Zorn yelled, "We are not kids!" while Thorn was shouting, "Kids we are not!" Marcus shook his head. "Whatever. Hey, try Hooked on Phonics, you guys sure do need it!" Blank, Cinna, and Marcus sniggered at Marcus's joke. Zorn and Thorn began jumping up and down again. Cinna suddenly remembered his dilemma though, and he pointed an accusing finger at the twins. "Ah-ha! I knew you took it, you evil, uh, kids!!! Yeah, you took my Kupocorn!" Zorn and Thorn stopped their hopping for a moment, and looked at each other. Zorn inquired, "Isn't Kupocorn made out of Kupo Nuts?" Thorn nodded, and asked, "Yes, the moogle's favorite food, Kupo Nuts are?" Zorn nodded his head. They both grinned suddenly, cracking their face paint, and high-fived. Then they giggled, and ran off. Blank and Marcus stared, as Cinna thought hard. He suddenly exclaimed, "I'VE GOT IT!!!!!" Marcus and Blank jumped. "Geez, that was loud!" said Marcus, rubbing his ears. "You almost made me pee my pants!" whined Blank, brushing the dust off his shoulder. "So then what's this big idea?" Cinna smiled slyly. "Maybe Ruby has it!! I mean, she had the Superslick for Mognet Central. We'll take and airship to Alexandria!!!" Cinna ran inside to ask Baku something. "He's bonkers," said Marcus. Blank shook his head. "No, he's just persistent!" "Bonkers!" "Persistent!" "Bonkers!!!" "PERSISTENT!!!!!!!" Marcus covered his ears again. "Owww…, I can't take much more of this." Meanwhile, Cinna inside with Baku, pleading with him to take an air ship to Alexandria. "Can I pleeeeeeease take the theater ship? Pretty pleeeeeeease?" Baku shook his head. "Nope, remember Queen Branhe blew it up?" Cinna's head drooped. "Oh yeah." Then he shuffled outside to where Blank and Marcus were waiting. "Hey guys, guess we can't go. Wait a nose-pickin' minute, we could grab an airship at Lindblum Airship docks! Lets get movin'!" Cinna ran off to the airship docks, dragging Blank and Marcus behind him. IT was just their luck to find their old pal Zidane leaving the Hilda Garde 3. Blank waved wildly, while shouting, "Hiya, Zidane old pal!!! How's it been?" Cinna's eyes darted from the ship, to Zidane, then back to the ship. "Uh, Zidane?" Zidane finally noticed them, and ran over. "Hey, how's it been?" he asked. Marcus shrugged. "Oh, pretty well, I gues—" but he was cut off by Cinna. "Zidane, old buddy, old pal, can we borrow the ship?" Zidane scratched his head. "I don't know." Cinna got down on his knees. "It will preserve my sanity!!!" Marcus sniggered. "Or at least what's left of it," he said under his breath. Zidane scratched his head again. "Okay I guess," he gave in as Cinna, Blank, and Marcus rushed onboard. "Alexandria, here we come!!!" Cinna shouted happily as they sped toward Alexandria. They landed, and hurried towards Ruby's mini theater in the alley near the castle. As they all ran into the entrance and down the stairs, they soon painfully discovered that Ruby and her staff had waxed the floors that very day. All three slid into the wall and crashed together to the ground. Ruby stood over them. "Hi, ya'all!! I thought you'd never come!!!" She helped them all up to their feet, and asked them why they had come to see her. Cinna began his explanation. "Well, my Kupocorn was missing this morning, and since you somehow had that Superslick for the moogles, we thought you might have it." Ruby shook her head. "But why don't ya'all go to the steeple and go lookin' for mighty suspicious activity," she suggested. "Sure! Thanks Ruby!" said Cinna, and he started dragging Marcus and Blank behind him. As they reached the tall steeple, they heard suspicious voices. First, they heard, "Mmmm, can't wait to eat this wonderful Kupocorn, kupo!" All three went on listening, surprised. Another voice said, "Yeah, I can't believe that fat guy sold us all this Kupocorn, kupo!" Cinna had enough with listening. He stepped out and said loudly, "All right, hand it over!!!" The two moogles looked up. The first moogle, named Kupo said, "Hey, kupo!! It's the fat guy!!" The second moogle, called Mois, added, "Yeah, you're the one who sold us the Kupocorn, kupo!" Cinna had a sudden flashback of the day before. "I did, didn't I?, Hey, little moogles, mind if I join you?" The moogles said not at all, and Cinna, Kupo, and Mois sat, eating Kupocorn, leaving a dumbfounded Marcus and Blank to leave for Ruby's mini theater, hoping something good was playing. But first, they stopped to buy Cinna some of those herbal vitamins that improve memory.